The time has come. She is T W O.

The weekend of February 14th came, we said hello and cheered and sang. Then it was done. She turned two. For real? I explicitly remember holding her as a itty bitty newborn thinking that ages one, two and three were SO far off and wondering just what did God have in store for us. Wow. Lemmie tell you, when people say God's dreams and hopes for you are far better than your own...

They ain't lyin'.

These past few years have been one heck of a ride. My own thoughts for my future when I was in college was to be one of the best soccer players and my own name made famous -heh. Didn't happen. I thought I was gonna meet a guy who was a born and bred country farm boy- I didn't. I met someone who, oh is so good for my heart and soul. He LOVES Jesus. In good ole Fremont, those guys were hard to be found. Anthony may not be country but God knew I needed someone who would furiously love and passionately lead us straight to His glorious name. I thought I was made to be a mother to a pack of boys but God showed us SO much love through our Ryann Grace.

Ryann,

When your dad and I found out we were pregnant with you, we were pleasantly surprised with an honest mixture of "scared" thrown in there. We were a few years younger then and we wondered if we were ready to be a mom and a dad to a baby. When we found out you were a girl, I smiled. I felt as though I knew all along that I was going to have a baby girl. I did think I was better equipped to mother a baby boy because I have been a tom-boy my whole life. I believed I wasn't feminine enough to raise a sweet girl with dolls and purses and jewelry. Oh goodness my little one, you have brought that feminine side outta me.

I love seeing you play with your babies, stripping them of their clothes and "walk, walk, walk" them. I love seeing you boldly, with a touch of shy expectation in your features, show your dad the dress that you chose for the day. I love that you need "lip" for your lips and perk your sweet little mouth in an awkward way for me to apply Burt's Bees, and then you promptly lick your lips and ask for more. I love how you have showed me how beautiful it is to be feminine with a strong and daring personality. You may be all girl, but you sure have no problem scaring those around you with your climbing and jumping ability.

Ryann Grace, your dad and I want each of our children to have names that meant something. Ryann is a female name for "little leader" and Grace means, well it's obvious, it's grace. Your dad wanted to be able to pray for you using your name. So we pray that God will raise you up to be a leader full of grace for His glory and fame. I love your name. I'm sure you'll go through a phase of "ugh, what were my parents thinking?" about your name. I think we all do but just so you know, I love your name.

The future you have in front of you is so beautiful. I've no idea what is in store... but my heart squeezes so hard when I think of how God is going to bless you and lead you. He has been SO faithful to your dad and I. We keep stopping each other and saying "can you believe where we've been?", "Can you believe where we're going?!" and we are so incredibly thankful for what He has done and how he has continually blessed us with you.

Ryann-I sure do love you. I'm tickled pink and delighted to be your mommy.

Happy birthday little one.

Love -your mom

xoxo

*Tricia, I thought you would enjoy being able to look at the photos that I have up on facebook of Ryann's party. http://www.facebook.com/album.phpaid=2008591&id=163700153&l=2a44d3d19d

Copy and paste that onto your browser and you should be able to see them.*

Statistics

The black font is from October 2008. The purple font is current.

My lovely, wonderful, amazing and beautiful little girl is:

My beautiful little toddler is...

✗ the happiest baby in the morning > the most cuddliest with a cup of milk in the morning.

✗ very independent > still independent yet needs someone to "hold you".

✗ a bit of a squealer when she's frustrated, (something Anthony and I are trying to let her know it isn't necessary or allowed, though understandable) > hmm she's still just as dramatic.

✗ a grape lover > and continues to be to this day. When we get a Chik-Fil-A fruit bowl, grapes are usually the first to go.

✗ a very fast crawler > oh those days went by so fast, they're long gone. She's running now!

✗ a maniac in the walker and will clip our ankles whenever she gets the chance > she will still "clip" my ankles by constantly hanging on me when I'm trying to cook in the kitchen. She will also "clip" Gunner's heels by pushing around an empty upside down red bucket. Gunner hates it.

✗ obsessed with toilet paper and will rip it into shreds (Bethany calls her a little puppy, which is very accurate!) > gee, still catch her doing this...

✗ not too sure of the sippy cup> psssshhhh, she's a pro.

✗ a “napper” around 9 am and 1pm for about an hour each time> only one nap a day now. Naps at 1pm till about 2:30.

✗ proud when she finishes her meal, I'll say “all done!” then clap and say “yay!” and she is so thrilled > she'll do this for any kind of attention.

✗ a hater of grass against her knees, she'll crawl on her hands and feet with her butt sticking straight up in the air > doesn't like her hands and feet to be "dirty, dirty, dirty"... WHHHHAT?

✗ much more of a shower girl rather than a bath girl, which I guess is better for the environment :) > LOVES the bath now.

✗ does not enjoy getting dressed or undressed > Loves getting dressed in dresses.

✗ a climber. I've lost track of her only to find her on the top of the stairs!! BABY GATE ASAP! > Still a climber. Baby gate-HAH! she'll climb right over it.

✗ a “Brown Bear Brown Bear What do You See?” book lover, she will actually bend her head down to look at the next page if I don't turn it soon enough > still loves to read.

✗ 8 months old and growing longer and heavier> 23 months, still short with a sweet little pot belly.

✗ still petite> finally in her correct size in clothing.

✗ a talker, “ba ba ba ba”> a TALKER! It's amazing and so fun!

✗ gurgler with her apple juice and will have a big smile on her face > Just recently rediscovered this fantastic feat... loves when mom does it.

✗ a daddy's girl, she lights up whenever Dad's around > still is.

✗ starting to stand without touching anything > old news... now starting to do a head stand with no help. Just kidding.

✗ able to hold the bottle with one hand and play with her feet with the other > able to hold her camelbak in her mouth while holding a doll in her left arm with a pig in her left hand and a giraffe in her right arm with a book in her right hand. People, that's serious skill there.

✗ the best smiler with four teeth...> still the best smiler with a lot more teeth, gotta count how many there are now.....

Today Ryann went to work with me for a few hours while Anthony had a memorial service to go to. In the bathroom at work there is a advertisement poster for Diacompe. A bicycle break system. Their logo is "Nothing bites like a bulldog". The poster has a bulldog with a vicious face (yet looks pretty cool like the camel on the cigarette brand) clamping it's teeth down on the rim of a bicycle tire. Ryann went to the john with me while I took care of business. The bathroom has a few other interesting posters and a mural of a person sleeping out under the stars on the wall going onto the ceiling. So she is listing all the things she notices while I'm squatting.... "ohhh, stars!" "Night, Night- SHH" then... she stares at the Diacompe poster... she points, "puppy". Then walks closer to me and says "MAD". I stopped my business and asked her to repeat... she scrunches her face and bears her teeth and said " mad. puppy mad".

Wow. what a girl!

Testing, Testing...

So much as changed since now and the last post.

So. Much.

The last post on this blog has this picture of Ryann:

This is the most recent I have of her. Unfortunately it's from the last week of december. My camera broke... so photos are on hold for now.
I'm totally dragging my feet about starting my blog again. I have a few lame but good enough (for me) reasons. However, I skimmed the old entries and have regretted not keeping up with Ryann's growth process and the different stories involving her. When the next kid comes (later folks, later), I want to be able to see the statistics between the two and be able to marvel just how uniquely and wonderfully similar they are. So because of that, I will attempt to keep on posting about sweet and strong willed Ryann Grace.

Ryann is 1.5 weeks shy of being the big 2. Really? Are you sure? My tiny itty bitty swaddle of joy is T W O?

On one hand I look at where we've been as a family since she's been born and I believe it willingly. BUT golly, two years seem to be defined into two minutes. In the quick of time my little girl is no longer a baby but a toddler with a heap of personality to keep her dad and mom pointing fingers at the other blaming for the "strong willed", "dramatic" and "entertainer" genes.

I will need to post statistics in another post. SOON. It needs to be soon.

~Till then~

~Here and there I am going to TRY to write different stories about my own childhood. I LOVE my childhood and do not want to forget it... so I figured I would post it on here for my siblings and cousins to laugh and remember with me.~ Remind me to.

SunShade in General

Writing stories about SunShade will be tough.  These ladies lead a rough life and it has shaped who they are.  Most of these ladies are colored.  I am not being racist when I say colored.  Everyone calls each other by their skin color, or rather their area groups (white, black, colored).  Some of these ladies have black skin color, except they are colored.  I know it's confusing, I'm still trying to figure it out.  Anthony tried to explain to me that you normally can tell by their accents-  sometimes I can tell, but most of the time I can't.   They roll their “r's” in such a distinctive way. I know that most, if not all the ladies of sunshade are colored.  The reason why writing these stories will be tough is because it will be only from what I know and see.  I barely can understand any of these ladies, most of the time we communicate with made-up hand signals thrown everywhere along with repeating a sentence over and over again, only it becomes more exaggerated each time.  These stories that I will write will have a much deeper side to it that I have no idea about.  All I can tell you is what I've experienced.

For now, I'll just give a general description of SunShade.  SunShade occurs every tuesday morning. SunShade is a ministry geared toward women of poverty in an “area” called Salt River.  I guess you could call these areas town or city limits.  We live in the area called Kenilworth and Jubilee is in the Observatory area.  It's like how Anthony says he's from Atlanta, but really, he lives in Marietta.  I hope that makes sense. 

Anyway, back to SunShade.  This is just a safe place where women can come and relax.  They will bring their younger children.  The older ones are in school.  Anytime school is on a holiday, SunShade is closed.  It becomes too crazy and too much to handle if all the children were there.  Most of the children at Sunshade are toddlers or younger.  My time on tuesdays are spent with them. 

Most of the time at SunShade, there is a activity of some sort planed.  These activities range from doing simple crafts to educational events.  Bethany even led the ladies in a aerobic exercise.  They loved it!  The crafts these ladies do are extremely simple and what we (americans) would considered “geared towards children”.  Over christmas, we made ornaments out of salt dough.  I remembered doing this growing up, but for these ladies, they never had that chance.  This is their first time, and they absolutely love it.  We've made flower arrangements out of colored tissue paper, paper crowns with beads on it, angels made from paper plates and so much more!  These crafts are treasured so much by their creators.  These ladies find such delight in their makings.  

The educational events consist of how to love your children, how to mange your budget, how to quit smoking and use the resources around you to help you out and so on.  The ladies seem to get something out of it, but they also seem to be bored easily by these topics.  Which is why I think we only do one of these events once in a while.  Along with education events there will be times where someone that these ladies respect will go up and share their story.  SunShade is also a place where these ladies can find someone to talk to and to be prayed for if asked.  This ministry very obviously presents itself as a Christian ministry, but the one thing I love most about it is that Jesus isn't shoved down these ladies throats.  Jesus is showed through love, through time set aside to talk, through hugs, tears and smiles.  Here at SunShade, Jesus is not just a religious figure, He is real. 

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At the end of these stories, I will put a small story about Ryann Grace.  After all, as I explained before, this blog was set up to keep family members updated on her.  

Since Friday, Ryann has been sick.  She's been throwing up and has the runs.   I feel badly for her!  I'm just thankful this is the first time she's been sick as in throwing up.   She has had a bad case of the runs (happened on the way home from HI), but never threw up.  The weird thing is her vomit isn't projected across the room.  It seems to just slowly crawl out of her mouth and pile up on her chest.  Its the strangest thing!  So for now, we are focusing on her recovery.  

Just a few things to record.  

~Ryann finally has two more new teeth on the bottom-which was the reason for her extreme whinnying  previously.

~along with roaring like a lion, clicking like a bird, she can hoot like a monkey, bark like a dog, moo like a cow, quack like a duck, baa like the sheep.  Right now she's working on her fish face.  I'll post photos of that soon.  Too cute!

~she can point to eyes, nose, and teeth.  

~she loves to brush her teeth and take a bath, so when I tell her its “time to take a bath or brush your teeth” she'll either say “Bath” and charge right up the stairs to the bathroom, or point to her teeth and smile and walk up the stairs and wait for me to get the toothbrush ready for her.  Love it!

Twin, Just for You.

My twin sent Ryann a package for her birthday.  It's a little late, but for us Carlsons, that's to be expected.  Laura brought Ryann blue converse chucks and a yellow tutu and a very cute onesie with a caterpillar on it.   She requested that I take photos and upload them on here so she can see them and enjoy her cute niece in her outfit!

At first, Ryann wasn't happy with me changing her clothes in the middle of the day.  But then I put her in front of the mirror and she enjoyed looking at herself and the earrings I've hung on a string of dental floss.  Then we went downstairs to show off her look to Dave and Bethany and she loved being in the center of attention.  

Now, she hates the yellow tutu.  She grunted and squealed as she tried to get it off!  So she walked around in her new shirt and sporty shoes.

*For those who want to know why the color blue for the converse?  Well, growing up, I had a pair of "blue moon shoes".  They were the chuck taylor converse the color of the "Blue Moon" ice cream.  Laura had a pair of "peach shoes".  They were pink but not quite.  Definitely not orange.  Anyway, Laura got these shoes in memory of my sweet sweet blues.  Ryann's shoes are a lot darker than the ones I had, but still they're awesome!!  I think I'm gonna try to save up money and buy myself a pair!  Might not be till next year though!

Something New

Well, I changed my blog's look... Just felt like doing something new.

A couple weeks ago, we all were getting ready to send out a newsletter.  Dave is the main guy, his computer has the program that has the template for the newsletter.  We all chat and see who's gonna write what and whatever else... then Dave puts it all together.  Well he was just finalizing the newsletter and at one point he set the computer down on a sack on magazines which was on the dinning table...  the computer slid and fell to the floor.  It has a HUGE dent on one corner and would not work.  He sent to the shop for a check-up... and it would cost over $1000 to repair it.   Geesh.  So now, we're all sharing Anthony's mac.  No big deal, except Dave and Bethany have a ton of precious information and photos on the other computer and the template and stuff for the newsletter is no longer accessible for now.  It is a real bummer for them!  Dave is attempting to fix the computer on his own by replacing the hard drive himself.  Hope that works out.  Anyway, I had written an article that was suppose to be on the newsletter.  Since there isn't any going out soon, I figured I'd post the article on here.  

So here it is:

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As a member of the Heart4CapeTown mission crew, being a mom has been the most challenging aspect to learn, figure out and to grow from.  My heart and love has been stretch and pulled and changed since becoming a mom.  In a country far from my own family and friends has put me in many lonely days of feeling like I am not needed since I feel like I do so little compare to the rest of the crew.  My number one responsibility is Ryann Grace, my little girl.  Since she is the number one priority for me here in South Africa, it diminishes my other opportunities to serve.  I struggled with guilt and frustration of having to take care of Ryann and not being able to do more for Cape Town.  Then I started feeling terrible for not feeling like my daughter is enough for me.  On and on it went.

  

On top of my guilt and frustrations, I was having a hard time finding people who wanted to hang out with me.  I felt disliked and discouraged.  I finally opened up and shared my feelings with Karin, one of the moms from the mom's group I attend.  She, along with my own mother, grandmother and mother-in-law, really impressed upon me the importance of motherhood and raising a child to know and follow God.  

February came around.  It had been a whole year since my life was dramatically changed forever.  My independent, stubborn, loving and beautiful little girl turned one on Valentine's day.  The friday before Ryann's birthday, the moms of the mom's group threw Ryann a surprise birthday party.  I teared up.  They ushered Ryann and I to the table where all the goodies were and then sat us down to open presents.  With each present was a birthday card with birthday wishes for the one year old and the words of encouragement for me.  I cried.  Karin communicated with the moms expressing some of the feelings that I had and organized the party.  They showered Ryann and I with love and expressions of joy and excitement that we were part of their lives at this point of time.  

God rescued me from my despair of guilt, frustrations, loneliness and discouragement and gave me these wonderful ladies to uplift me and point me directly back to Him.  Sure, I still struggle with not being able to do as much as I wish I could and sure, I still struggle with being content with the amazing role of being Ryann's mom. Yet my joy and purpose in this life has been renewed, refilled and overflowed with grace that only comes from Him.

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That is just a small taste of what my life has been like here in SA.  I am sorry I have not written more about the ladies of mom's group or the ladies of SunShade.  They are such a big part of my life right now and I do wish I have written about them.  However, this blog, when I first started out was to mainly keep my family (both Carlsons and Rodriguezs) updated on their little grand daughter/niece.  So that was my reason.  But now that I only have 3 months left, i am going to attempt to write stories about the ministry aspect of my life.  That way you all get a better idea of what's going on here besides a little girl being super duper cute and whinny. :)  

But please be patient.  I struggle to write.  :)

Lately...

Lately, my little girl has been overly whinny.  It's driving me and Anthony nuts.  It's driven me to the point of keeping my cochlear implant off so I don't have to hear it.  She is whinny all the time.  She bumps her toe- she whines. She drops her book- she whines.  She sees me sitting down on the other side of the room- she whines.  She's in my arms- she whines.  Gosh. 

Wow.  Would you look at that?  I'm whining about my daughter whining.  Shoot.

As I was putting her down tonight I was praying aloud for God to give me patience and to show Anthony and I how to help her communicate what she wants/needs.  I also prayed for Anthony and I to be more observant to her to figure out the root to her whining.  

Despite her whining, she's still very much independent and adventurous.  She plays peek-a-boo with us by covering her own eyes.  She keeps her fingers apart so she can still see us. 

She is still such a joy in my life.  I really love being her mom.

I pulled Ry's old walker down from the closet for a little boy I was babysitting one day.  After that day, I set the walker back on the stairs to put away, Ryann made it her little playground.

We went out to eat one night and Ryann did a beautiful job!  She was very well-behaved and a pleasure to have.  She's sitting in Dave's lap watching something on TV that was across the room at the bar.  She stayed in this position for like 15 minutes.