EdzOnline

Salam Maal Hijrah

2015-10-13T23:21:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

Alhamdulillah, kita bertemu lagi dengan tahun Hijrah yang baru.

Salam Maal Hijrah buat semua. Semoga kita semua di berikan kesempatan untuk perbaiki diri kita buat masa hadapan.

Sebenarnya, Edz rasa sungguh haru dan membawa beribu kesalan dalam hati. Mungkin juga ia adalah perasaan self guilt yang mendalam atas apa yang hanya diri kita telah lakukan.

I am not a good person. I have my issues too. Tapi dalam diri ini timbul kadang kala sifat yang boleh membuat diri ini menangis bersendirian.

Sometimes I wonder what I am searching for. Apa yang aku nak?

Ke hulu ke hilir tiada penghujungnya. Jawapan dari orang orang yang tersayang, masih tidak memuaskan.

kekosongan sungguh mendalam. Apa sebenarnya yang aku inginkan?

Hari hari diri ini keletihan. Walaupun perwatakan ku senantiasa ceria dan tersenyum, tetapi terselit beribu persoalan yang menantikan atau masih mencari jawapan.

Which brings me to a life story that was narrated to me a few years ago - about a man who left Islam.

Kerana ikutkan kehendaknya, di tanya "apa yang ada pada Islam untukku?"

Secara logiknya - rationality of the modern thinking, that question is SOUND tapi dari segi agamanya, ia memurtadkan diri.

Sejahil jahil saya, mohon di jauhkan dari landasan sebegitu. Rasanya tak sanggup nak kasi Mak dan Abah tanggung dosa atas perbuatan saya.

Putus amal seorang Muslim apabila ia meninggal kecuali 3 perkara dan salah satunya adalah doa dari anak anak.

Terkenang pula, perkara kalau kita tak mendoakan ibu bapa kita. Di kaitkan dengan satu buku yang pernah saya baca - Malaikat melontarkan batu api neraka kepada ibu / bapa kita setiap kali kita melakukan dosa. Yang di sebut dalam ceramah itu berbunyi seperti ini, "NAH ini kiriman anakmu untuk waktu Zohor kerana tidak melakukan solat!" segengam bara api neraka dilontarkan pada ibu bapa kita.

It is logical. Kalau ALLAH SWT berkenan memberikan kesempatan untuk memberikan pahala buat ibu bapa yang telah pergi, maka Allah SWT juga boleh buat sebaliknya.

Seram di buatnya.

Moga Allah SWT memberi ganjaran yang setimpal dengan setiap ibadah and amal yang kita lakukan dengan ikhlasnya untuk mendapatkan redhaNya.

Amin.

KL Pictures

2015-09-24T11:59:00.000+08:00

KL Trip

2015-09-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

Hope everyone is in good health. It has been a while since I am updated my blog.
For some reasons, due to my current situation, I do not have the energy or mood to keep updating.

It was pretty much depressing for me.

I take comfort that challenges will "make you a better person" & that He will not burden a soul of more than what it can bear.

So, it is about time to catch up and what better way to start by sharing what happen over the weekend.

I was very lucky - Alhamdulillah - was given an all paid expense trip to KL for a short assignment.
However, the catch is I have to arrive by Friday night and I opt to leave by Sunday afternoon.

I have never travelled with just a hand carry and I had to review my wardrobe and see if it is do-able on my part.

I only brought the white jeans that I was wearing on Friday and the only piece, a pair of night clothes to change into for bed, 2 extra tops for Saturday and Sunday and a few undies.

I chose to wear the new loafers that will match all outfit through out the 3 days. I decide to use the Hotel toiletries.

All dump into my black Furla bag which is big enough to carry all that extra clothes.

And off I go after work to Changi Airport Terminal 2. Had my dinner and prayers there and patiently await for the schedule flight at 9.15 pm.

I reached Aloft Hotel at KL Sentral around 11 pm. I was brought to a resplendent looking room - a suite - it has a dining table, living room area and bedrooms.

Toilets superbly beautiful. I cant believe that I will be staying there just to do the short assignment.

Anyway I ordered Room Service and retire soon after so that I can do my stuff the following day.

After completing my task on that Saturday morning, I met up with a few old friends to catch up. Spent the whole day out and came back only in the evening.

I almost wanted to go out again at night however, I changed my mind.

When I was out, I went to Avenue K to meet someone for lunch. We then proceed to walk around until I saw an information machine. On it showed that they are raising funds for a Yasmin Ahmad Museum by selling a T-Shirt for RM35 and a book for RM40, a collection of what Yasmin quoted and why it was remembered fondly.

I grabbed both.

I read them in the train while I was on my way to the airport this afternoon and manage to finish it by later afternoon when I was on my way home.

I will elaborate more on the book later on.

Overall it was a lovely trip. I enjoy that short trip very much.

Do check out the hotel pictures in my next posting

Of Ramadan, Syawal & Bachelor Bakes

2015-08-10T12:01:00.001+08:00

It has been a while since I updated my blog. I was quite depressed with how things was turning out for me initially. There was nothing much I can do except to be patient and have faith.

Eventually I got an offer to work with a telco, thanks to the recommendations of my ex colleague. I started working on the 22nd of June, a few days after Ramadan started. It has been a good a month over. Upside, the job is pretty ok. Downside, it is a good 1.5 hrs of journey.

Positive side - i lost weight from all that travelling to work!

At the suggestion of family and friends, I decided to take orders for cornflakes and chocolate chip cookies. I sold cornflakes for $18 per bottle and has about 120 pieces and $35 per bottle for chocolate chip cookies.

I manage to get an order of 40 bottles of cornflakes and 10 bottles of chocolate chip cookies. I had also 4 cake orders.

Alhamdulillah, it certainly help me for the month of July 2015.

I feel that due to my situation, I seems to take things easy during Ramadan. I was very relax though busy. Stressful yet happy.

I was aware that Syawal this year would be very different - I was not ready or in the mood for it. This was what happened:

On 3rd July, I received a call from Mak. She informed me of the tragedy that had befall on our Maria's family - her son fell off FROM a tree (WTH he is doing on a tree is beyond me) and currently temporarily paralyzed.

I was definitely on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I took a deep breath and start making plans.
Send Maria on her way the very next day - that was after talking to her and ensure that we remain in contact through out. She has to let us know if she wants to continue working with us.

I made arrangements to check / call back on her weekly. After close to about 2 weeks away, she was unable to give an answer if she is coming back. I was on the verge of terminating her work permit when it was nearing Raya WHEN she called to inform she intends to come back by mid August.

We settle the deal there and then. Proceeded to make plans to the embassy to get the documentation for her so she can do her KTKLN card in Indonesia in order to return back to Singapore.

All that was settled last week Tuesday. She texted me to update that she is doing her KTKLN card today.

If all is well, she be back next week Wednesday - 18th August 2015.

So as you can imagine, with this happening, the tasks of household management falls onto my mother's lap. I did the food for the guests this year. I prepared Mee Curry for all. Mak made the food for our family members only.

It has been a very trying 2 months. I was juggling with my own situation, family and the orders. My hair turn white even faster than usual.

I was so busy that I only cut my hair for Raya on the 2nd Syawal!

After the 2nd week of raya, I got a very bad migraine that lasted me a whole night that caused me to take medical leave for 2 days. I also did not rest enough after the endless cooking / baking that I did.

My slip disc was definitely in action and my legs was turning to jelly any moment.

With the 2 days MC, i stayed home and recuperate. I went for more frequent schedule massage to combat the pain.

Health-wise, with my weight going down, I monitored my food intake. I started a self campaign on reducing my sugar intake. I still keep to my meals BUT i started eating more healthily.

I avoided fast foods altogether and only eat quality - home cooked food.

All in all, it is a turning point for me.

There are so many things to be done and with my main focus on my future and the mess that I am in now, I have to step up and be more proactive in getting the dollars in!

Aside from the current job, I intend to offer more thru bachelor bakes to create more opportunities for myself.

During the National Day long weekend, I prepared 2 new recipes to offer to my followers. Hopefully through that I can get more businesses and eventually or ideally it should be able to supplement my income.

Wish me luck on that!

Thank you.

Hikmah - Wisdom

2015-06-10T23:49:00.001+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

Since this afternoon, I was cracking my head on what to write. I don't want to write on meaningless topic like I used to - daily routine or who I was frustrated with etc.

I want to write something that may inspire or give a bit of thought to the reader. At about 1030, saw a friend online and chat and the above mentioned word - "HIKMAH" was her response to my current situation.

I left my job at CB due to certain issues I face. To make it clear, I have no issues with my colleagues and direct reporting manager. So last Friday 5th June, after a 2 months stint, I left.

As compared to the first one, I did not panic neither I feel sad. I don't know why as I feel that i was destined to quit and to fulfill or complete a certain tasks this week. With me employed, it is almost impossible to do it - getting a NPL will definitely raise eyebrows.

True enough, the moment I spend my weekend alone, I was bombarded by 2 matters:

1. Grandma & Aunt Moving In

I thought it was just going to be a simple moving in. However, I was highlighted to some administrative matters.

i. changing of address
we all know that we have to go down to ICA or NPP to notify them on the change of address. However, to bring my 85 year old beloved isn't just the way to do it. The carpark to NPP is too far and I don't want to strain myself carrying / pushing the wheelchair.

Mak, offered to come along to which I gave an incredulous stare and ask her, with your current eyesight, I have to manage 3 person movements. I rather have 2 - grandma and aunty.

I dwell about this for a few days. I was contemplating to hire one of those uber drivers, pay him his rates and be my dedicated driver and PA until i texted someone who used to be in the police force.

He advise me to just get a utilities bill or any bill related to my grandma's name with the moving in address. That's impossible. Grandma don't have bills for the past few decades now.

Then it occur to me I should be calling the police station and ask for advise.

So i made the call and find out that I need to do 3 simple things to which grandma or aunt do not need to appear to police station JUST to change their address:

1. Go online to ICA website and fill up an online form - Pre Notification for change of address.
2. ICA will mail that letter to you
3. With that letter, I can then go to NPP to do the necessary updates.

So 1 done, now wait for 2 and then i can complete 3.

ii. Maid Levy
With the recent changes to maid levy, I recall that the FDW levy was reduced further from $120 to $60. I didn't thought much about it until I met my uncle and we had a meeting. I was advise by his wife to get the new rates. However, this can only be done once I have update the change of address.

I have printed the documents and once the change of address is completed, will address this portion as well.

2. Fund raising

Recently, a good friend of mine came into a very very bad situation. She told me about it in bits and pieces however, I can already figure the impact of the whole situation.

I took time to mull over the options and the easiest way is fund raising.

I announced a fund raising on Monday through my facebook and today I have managed to secure the following:

i. A vehicle / lorry to transport all her items from existing place to new place - at no cost.
ii. Raised SGD 400 to meet her current needs
iii. Got SGD 150 NTUC Vouchers
iv. Commitment from 4 donors to buy groceries

I am truly thankful to my friends in Facebook who bothered to ask and check and donate. Most importantly those who donated are strangers to her.

Do not worry, the money will be put in to a good cause.

I will continue to keep update and account for it.

This is where my friend's comment came about. On Monday, she gave me a ring and asked if I am available for an interview to which I agreed with. It was an urgent position and they need to get it filled sometime next week. The interview went well and based on my assessment, it is good except that the only tipping point was the package.

In summary, I conclude that, all these events - from the day i resign was to assist in managing affairs at home, things that is happening within family and friends who matter.

I am really thankful and that was the word she use in her phrase to me earlier... "probably there is Hikmah as to why all this happen"

Yes, I take it as a Hikmah for me and most importantly I enjoyed doing it. And that's what matters most.

Alhamdulillah :)

The Next Lap?

2015-06-08T07:46:00.000+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

Over the past 2 days, I was kept occupied - thinking of what I should do next, making arrangements for grandma and aunt bedroom and wardrobe arrangement, instructing Maria what to do during grandma's stay with us etc.

I was also texting and making arrangements to meet up with friends to catch up.

One of them is my dear friend / sister - Shida.

We seldom meet but we kept closely in touch through chats. I updated her about my current situation and she made a suggestion - if I am keen to expand on my culinary.

She explained further if I want to do joint orders and start small with a circle of friends and families.

In my heart there is this mixed feelings.

I am ok to sell cakes or kuehs because it is something I enjoy doing. However, my brand name not that popular yet - so the orders isn't that regular. To sell food is something different and you got to really work hard and ensure that what you sell differs from what others have out there.

However, to me she did made a very good suggestion. I would be doing everything from home - something which I enjoy and like.

I would be occupied from day to night and the tasks would be as follow:

1. Marketing - Promoting the food I am selling
2. Marketing - Buying ingredients
3. Accounting - Costs / P&L
4. Delivery - Cooking and Sending them out.
5. Review / Administration - Checking orders.

There must be a systematic way of doing it and I note there are order forms online which can help to automate the process.

Alhamdulillah, I will consider it. Inshaa Allah - I will be coming up with something this coming Ramadan.

I seek you doa everyone.

Edz

If I could turn back time

2015-06-06T20:56:00.001+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

I am very sure the title today would resonate with almost everyone. We make mistakes, we have regrets and try to salvage things and we hope for the best. We are only human.

So am I.

There are many times I wonder if something had not happened, how would I be? Where would I be in life? What might I be doing? etc..the never ending list goes on.

In Islam, if you take it too seriously, it might be misunderstood that you are not thankful for the life that was granted for you.

Alhamdulillah, I am truly thankful to Allah SWT for blessing me with good parents who did their best to raise me up. In return, I am working equally hard to ensure that they are comfortable now and I hope they redha to the situation I am in now.

So now...how do we begin? Perhaps, I should begin from the day I was in secondary school as most of my early decision making days begins from then on:

1. If only I had paid more attention to my studies

Truth to be told, I was never a good student. It was probably because I was always burdened by financial issues at home that I took up a part time job during my schooling days. The money I earned helped with the school pocket money, the occasional cab fares and the shopping.

If ONLY I leave that part of history to my dad. However, to console myself, there are lessons learnt from that episode. I learn the value of earning money, how to spend it and how much I gave mak.

I didn't earn much - maybe about $60 - $100 per week working at KFC. I would give Mak about half. and I will keep the rest, spending only towards end of the month.

I would probably be a much more studious person, If I had not work, i probably scored well in my O levels too.

2. This is one of the biggest regret - IF only I didn't quarrel with Mak for my freedom.

At 18, those who know me that I was tightly controlled by Mak. I was with ITE and Mak will be forever asking questions where I go, who I go out with, why I go out...though the TIME TABLE is prominently displayed on my table.

I have band practices on Tuesdays and Thursdays and it stretched till quite late in the evening.

I was so irritated one day that I just tell her off to stop asking like as if she care. I was working, paying bills and schooling. Tell me, any teenager at that time who will not explode?

Mom let go but it became my biggest regret till today.

3. If only I had deepen knowledge in Quran - reading and translating it earlier in life.

I am quite capable in reading Quran though the tafsiran took many many years later. However, I urge all parents to start young with the children so that when they can master Quran, they can master everything else.

We are all blinded by worldly matters and religion will take a back seat at that point. It is however the other way round.

However, it is not too late as long as you live. Making up for lost time, I am striving towards what I had missed, what I crave or wanting for and to live only to meet these objectives.

May Allah SWT give me strength and mercy to meet them. Inshaa Allah.

Bachelor Bakes

2015-06-04T23:04:00.002+08:00

Bismillah,

In my previous posting, I have mentioned that Bachelor Bakes was created for a purpose.
Aside from baking cheesecakes, tarts and mousse, I am also experimenting with simple home made cookies for sale.

However, my love is still cooking. This bachelor loves to cook.

I cook for family, for my friends, for strangers. I don't mind. It can be tiring however the satisfied look from those whom I cook for makes the tiredness go away.

As the fasting month is approaching, I would like to take orders. It is still open.

Cakes

1. All cakes order is open till 3rd week of Fasting Month or when order is full, whichever is earlier.
2. Payment made in full and delivery charge of $12 will apply.
3. I encourage consolidated orders.

Price as follow:
Cheesecakes - round 9"

1. Plain $49
2. Flavored (Blueberry / Strawberry / Oreo) $55

Blueberry Crumble
1. Square $38
2. Rectangle $45

Oreo Mousse - round 9" - $55
Mousse In a Cup - per box of 16 pcs -$50
Chocolate / White Chocolate Tart - $45

Sweet Treat Snacks (100pcs)
1. Chocolate Chip Cookies - $24 bottle
2. Honey Cornflakes - $18 per bottle

Bulk Purchase:
Honey Cornflakes
4 bottles - $66
8 bottles - $128

Chocolate Chip Cookies
4 bottles - $90

Delivery Additional $8 per location. I encourage consolidated orders.

For more pictures and info do check out BachelorBakes facebook account!

Look forward to your support.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Edz

Challenges

2015-05-28T08:28:00.002+08:00

Bismillah,

For past few days I have been very emotional. It affects the quality of work and perhaps my personality to a certain extend.

Majority of my friends probably gets sick of the way how I behave for past few months. From the point of changing jobs right up to the things that I rant about almost on a daily basis.

I took time this morning to reflect on the issues that causes this. Regardless the situation, I blame it entirely on myself. I have never blamed anyone else for the situation I am in and I can only hope Allah SWT will be merciful towards me and ease me in my suffering.

Oct 2013

This was the starting point. Towards end Oct / early Nov, I was in a meeting with my lead. Prior to that meeting, there was an announcement made by my boss to which I did not really think much of as how it is going to impact me.

I attribute this to my jovial mood then - having managed to register for my course in 2014, I made upfront payments for a semester and the bridging course fees in Dec 2013.

I have some money left and made plans to save more come bonus and commission pay out.

So during that meeting with my lead, he shared how it is going to impact me based on the first meeting with the boss. He later announced that I will no longer be getting my allowances - which is about 4 digits.

It will take immediate effect - Nov 2013 payroll. I was lucky that HR was unable to deduct it in Nov 2013 and i felt the impact in Dec 2013 payroll. I got lesser amount after that deduction.

Jan 2014 - April 2014

I was very sad of course. I could not save as much as I can and furthermore, I have to reduce my parents' allowance. Tell me, who among us would want to do that to our parents.

Mak has been generous to me. She paid for one of the semester fees as well. I shed tears thinking about it.

I was moody and took it out on myself - depress, i cried everyday but have to patient about it.

There's one evening after my appointment I was in Orchard road. I went to Paragon or Isetan (Cant remember which) and meet my late Kak Ann. Told her of my situation.

She ask if I am ok to work for her - take care of ladies shoes at Paragon over the weekend. The pay is $8.50 per hour exclude commissions. You know when you are desperate, you will do anything to cover up.

I work from 10 am to 10 pm - till April 2014. I left because it was too tiring. My legs was giving way - due to my slip disc.

Also, they paid too slow. I got commitments to settle.

What did I do? baking - and bachelor bakes was born.

Bachelor Bakes
Getting 1 or 2 orders a week may not mean much to some of you. However, to me it was a lifeline.
I reviewed all my expenses, stayed over at Mr L's place most of the time so that I can save money on transportation.

Moreover I can cook anything I want and bring it to work.

The hari raya orders was the best. With the amount of money I had collected, it lasted me till Hajj.

Great Friends

It is during these period that I confide into friend(s). Those that I can really trust and understand and don't make judgement about every single act that I do.

I have my friends who continuously texted / message me to ask how things are doing. Giving their doas and support and telling me to hold on. I am extremely touched and grateful.

There are friends who continuously ask me for my bakes and indirectly is helping me. One of them is Kak Ton. Without fail, she will always buy 1 cake from me every month. I am so thankful for her support.

Of course during such challenging times, you never know when help will come and they came from 3 different persons:

One such friend was Mr A. He loaned me about 2.5 months of my salary to help defray my fees. I have yet to return him anything - told me to take my time and stabilize myself.

Mr L gave me weekly support expenses to help me stay afloat while I slowly stabilize myself and get used to the changes.

Both men, stayed overseas and I meet them occasionally. Mr L, told me to take things easy and he knows my character really well.

An army mentor whom I respected so much during my NS days came to know of my situation and gave me a soft loan while things gets better.

New Job = Wrong Decision Making

With the completion of my course, I decided maybe I should try to find a new job and as Allah SWT wills it, I got an offer that I wanted.

Being the meticulous person I am, every single question I asked hence that's why I accepted the offer UNTIL I came to work.

I lasted for 11 working days.

I feel so useless. As Allah SWT decree, the day i left, another job offer came to which I am working till today.

At times, I wonder why I accepted it. Is it because I don't have a choice or is there something better awaits me?

I don't know what the future holds for me here. At times I feel like giving up but ALLAH SWT don't like us to give up. So I soldiered on cause I am very afraid if I go, He may not give me another one that easily.

Support

Thankful for the support that was given by friends who has been tasting my bakes - cakes or that cornflakes thing hahaa.. I have to swallow back MY WORDS.

Remember last year? I refused to bake honey cornflakes or chocolate chip cookies.

It's because it is tiring. However, I am determine to get myself out of this situation and therefore, I am taking orders for Hari Raya.

I thank all of you in advance for your support. I am here not to get sympathy but I believe I owe everyone an explaination to why I am doing all this.

I am sure there are questions of course and I am most willing to share it with you personally. This platform is a bit too public to air out everything.

Well, thank you for reading.

May we meet again. Inshaa Allah.

Nindaku - Hajjah Mariam

2015-05-24T22:39:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim

*Ninda - the royal equivalent of Nenek (Grandmother)*

An Nisa' Verse 36
Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.

Al An'Am Verse 151
Say, "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities - what is apparent of them and what is concealed. And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed] except by [legal] right. This has He instructed you that you may use reason."

Al Isra' Verse 23 - 24
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

Al Ankabut Verse 8
And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.

Luqman Verse 14 - 15
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.

But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.

Al Ahqaf Verse 15-16
And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."

Those are the ones from whom We will accept the best of what they did and overlook their misdeeds, [their being] among the companions of Paradise. [That is] the promise of truth which they had been promised.

______________________________________________________________________

Read the verses above? See those red words?
That's how much Allah SWT loves us. He gave us parents who care for us - who EARNED rewards for caring for us and in turn He freely REWARDS us when we have to care our parents.

In my FB posting today, I mentioned that in June 2015, providence will be on their way to us. Allah SWT had answered my prayers.

After 7 years, my grandmother, Hajjah Mariam & aunt, will be staying with us.
We last care for them in 2007/2008 period. My uncle, approached my parents about a few months back to initiate the discussion. However as they will be using my room, my mom suggested to my uncle to ask me directly. Of course I said yes. How can I say no?

Alhamdulillah, the whole family agree and excited to receive them. The idea was to get them in by end of May 2015. However, parents have a wedding to attend in Melaka in June and Mak is not comfortable with the idea of leaving them alone with the maid and us. She personally wants to oversee the caring of both Ninda & aunty.

There is so much to prepare. I have to start packing my clothes and place them in my brother's room and keep my wardrobe and some drawers free for them.

We have to start ensuring the house is spick and span and non slippery. The maid has been given instructions on the additional duties that she will have to do, however, her sleeping schedule remains the same. We have to enlist the help of my aunt if Ninda has to wake up at night to go toilet. I will also be spending more time here to ensure Ninda is well and fine.

It is going to be a busy raya as well. The last time when we had Ninda, our raya expenditure was about double. We have to host many extended families and that particular year, I remember my parents were unable to visit others as they were busy receiving guests.

Ninda is 85 years old this year. A bit forgetful but still sweet in nature. Always thinking of a lot of things, talking about the past often and repeatedly that we all can only nod in polite acceptance.

Patience is the KEY in handling the elderly.

The ultimate reward however, is limitless.

I look forward to caring for Ninda again.

Inshaa Allah.

Edz

Culinary

2015-05-24T01:27:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim,

And so, Abang Hisham, a figure whom I have known for at least 2 decades asked about my journey to cooking. Sulaiman, also ask me to write something exciting to which I am still thinking about his idea. See the snapshot from my facebook. Let's take an idea at a time.

The first time I learn how to cook was when Mr L came to stay over at my place one weekend and he requested for Mak to teach him how to cook her version of Mee Siam Goreng. So it was on a Sunday morning, Mr L and I (I was 17 years old and Mr L was 21), stand beside Mak and watch her cook a whole packet of Bee Hoon.

At 17 years old I was not impressed about it. However, it was much much later when the real spark took place - when I notice Mak isn't as strong as she was. It was in 2008 when I moved out of my parents home and start staying on my own - when I had to buy food instead of getting home cook food. To quote the Queen of Caldecott Hill, why cook when $3.00 can buy a packet of rice?

Cooking can be an expensive hobby.

Anyway, the discovery for cooking started when I came back for Hari Raya in 2008 and I notice it was a very slow going for Mak. During Hari Raya there are 3 dishes that Mak will always cook and NEVER forego:

1. Sambal Goreng

2. Ayam Goreng Manis

3. Kuah Lodeh

I am sure most of you are familiar with dish 1 & 3, however not many is aware of dish 2. Try google it and you will never find the recipe. I will never release it as it is our family recipe for many many years.

Ayam Goreng Manis, had found its way to most of friends' tummy and since I refuse to share how we came up with recipe, they are contented to be invited to feast on it once a year and if I am nice, twice a year.

There are many spices that is used for Ayam Goreng Manis. The preparation to cook this dish takes hours let alone to cook it.

For the 3 dishes, Mak will NEVER, i repeat NEVER, use the blender. She cuts everything finely and use large quantities of it. She said blended ingredients dissolve the taste and to her it is most pleasurizing to prepare / cook it in the very traditional way.

That got me thinking. If Mak one day isn't around, how do we deal with this.

Hence I started to learn how to cook from then on. It seems natural to start learning how to cook your favorite dishes first.

Mak is my teacher for traditional malay dishes. The passing or excellent point was in 2009, when I came home on the eve of Raya with a tupperware full of Ayam Goreng Manis. Her reaction upon me reaching the door, was to grab the tupperware, open it and scoop a spoonful of it and she tasted the gravy.

What she said?

"ahh..sama macam Mak punya...(ahhh same like mine)" That was the ultimate approval that I wanted.

Mr L is my teacher for cantonese / thai / ang moh dishes.

When I was staying in an apartment with full facility, I made use of the kitchen by cooking. It was a fantastic 2 years where I made use of it to evolve.

Fastforward to today, I made full use of Mr L kitchen. I learn how to bake as well. Thus, with the support I received, Bachelor Bakes was born.

Every year, I will host a catch up session during the CNY long holidays. I will prepare all the dishes in advance and cook up a storm in the kitchen.

Friends whom I have the honour to cook for can vouch for me the effort that I took in each dishes, from preparing to presenting, that I love to cook and it shows.

I do hope one day, I can host Abang Hisham to my own annual gathering, Inshaa Allah.

Love,

Aidil Edzwan

Update 2015

2015-05-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

It has been a while isn't it?
The last blog post was on Nura J. Lovely lady and she just gave birth to a cute baby boy - Oumar. Unique just like the mother.

We are still friends, we catch up and we talk and exchange ideas and opinions. I just met up with her last week - to see Oumar and to catch up after a year since I met them - Nura J, Saat & Alina.

How have all of you been? My apologies for not writing over a year. There are many things that I face and one of it is the death of my Mac White.

I could have used other sources, however, it doesn't feel the same.

Anyway I will share more updates paragraph by paragraph with the first para on....

Luth Arish

He is 2 years old now. Very active boy and exudes so much love that it is almost impossible to be angry with him. Manja yet independent, lovable yet naughty, smart and handsome.

I love him lots you know. I look forward to seeing him each time I am back at parents' place.

That brings to the point of ...

HOME

I moved in to Mr L's place. It was by choice of course - everything is new and so nicely renovated.
Most importantly - rent free.

First & foremost it was close to Recall @ Quality Road. It was next to the Taman Jurong Market - a place I have grown familiar with since working with Recall. It is a 3 mins walk to Masjid Assyakirin where now I frequent for my Subuh, Maghrib & Isyak more than the whole of my life.

We take turns to cook. Usually Mr L cooks since he got a new job at IBP and his regional position means somehow, he works from home all the time.

Saturdays are reserved for marketing, laundry (wash & iron) and baking days. I experimented with cheesecakes in 2014 and a new hobby turn business opportunity came up.

Bachelor Bakes

In 2014, my interest in culinary expanded to Baking. I experimented with cookies, pastries, cakes and what not.

Still the fuss free lazy person that I am, I focus more on my cheesecakes and tarts. The ladies at Recall get free samples of my latest bakes.

Eventually word spread and I was baking for almost every single friend that I have. There's a list of choices that you can find and I am open for orders for Eid 2015 - cakes and cookies too!
Do like our page! Click Here!

Family

Suwarti, the bibik is in her 3rd year now and she moved in with the parents from my sister - since my sis decided to have a break from maids for a while. Mom was in an intense diabetic situation last year to which I told her off - have mercy for yourself.

If you want Allah's mercy, you MUST get well. That's her KPI in 2014. I told her she is eating medication which isn't good for her liver or kidneys eventually.

Suwarti's move was timely and she manage the household as good as mom did. Mom now focus on healing and getting better. I can't be much more proud.

Oh...she started to learn how to use the iPad too...to my surprise..

Abah is still the same..always the good fellow at the front but has a long list of complaints later on. He calls it "i dont want to make it worse" situation. *roll eyes*

He wanted to retire from the current job and move to another job to which I said - WORK till they ask you to go.

My youngest sister is with TP and doing her visual merchandising course. Still good at it, though her first year was full of hiccup and drama.

My brother as usual, hotel line, though I understand that he has upgraded himself. Kudos for listening and keeping up with my nagging.

The other sister, move on from a bank job, to another bank which didn't work and temping. She now works with one of the institution.

Life is still the same, nothing unusual and we all have to grow up to accept changes and challenges. Life is a bit challenging for me now, however, I have to look full ahead in order to be better.

Recall
I left Recall this year in Feb. Currently now working with a recruitment firm in Jurong East. I was in Recall for close to a decade.

Somehow that Recall thing haven't really left and I keep comparing what the new company offer / practise against what Recall did.

One good thing however, my "clean desk policy" which was drilled into me by the people in Recall became a habit and the HR Asia Pac commented that I had the most cleanest table among everyone in the office.

Kaplan
I took up studying again in 2014! Manage to get my Diploma in Business Administration, a dream came true for me when ACCA wasn't really working well for me.

I made enemies and friends and later on find out who are friends and who are enemies.

Alhamdulillah :)

Friends
My good friend from NSS - Almarhum Muhammad Firdaus Zainal Abidin pass away in 2013. It was not one of those good thoughts to remember. Full of drama on the day I heard the news from another friend, Siti Salamah.

We haven't met for almost a decade since he told me he was leaving for Germany in 2000. I met a friend of his at the burial site. We exchange contact and from then I found out what actually happen.

Al Fateha for Fir..

Suriana - ever the good friend still. We are in touch, always there and always supportive whenever I need a chat.

Mr L - ever since he is based in KL, the whole house is mine. However, I don't like to be alone and always spend time out of the house. At times I invite friends over for dinner - especially during those long weekend / holidays.

There are many many other friends that I treasure. Those in my FB list at least are the one whom I love to know, how they are doing in their career, their life etc. It's difficult to meet everyone and FB is there for us to know more about each other.

Faith / Religion
There's this relationship between me and Him that I use to have which at times I lost and at times I gain it back. However, I am determine to make it better this time round - for good.

Everyone of us has our own relationship and experiences. No point judging or criticizing. Just learn to live and live to make it better.

Allah SWT will not change our fate unless we change it ourselves first so WE owe it to Him to make it happen.

I am unsure why I bother to find the password, reset it and access this blog again. Maybe it is good to address it again or maybe it is just a phase or maybe I am just being me.

Thank you for reading.

Till my next post....

Love
Aidil Edzwan

Nura J

2013-09-11T17:57:00.000+08:00

Many of you would be familiar with the above mentioned name. You probably have watched her on TV - Krayon or seen her in the New Paper Face Finalist back then or even read her blog. (see my blog lists)

I have never watched Krayon coz i m too old for that and I was least interested in the New Paper Face contest because I have this "personal" opinion for ALL beauty contest that unless you are a mix, they will never want to to let a native Singaporean to be the winner (Pure Chinese, Malay or Indian). (yeah i m shallow - whatever)

But the darling sister was a follower of this Lady - Nura J and she always over breakfast, tells me to read her blog. Well occasionally I did and I took part in a contest and won but I never claim the prize...(Nura..funny lei..can't find the winning post :P)

I liked how she manage to open up Bottoms Up Club, produced a book with Nyla and eventually, becoming a real estate property agent. Let's all doa that she will be a Real Estate Magnate someday!

Last year November, the boss turn 35 and decide there and then that it is time for him to get a HDB flat. Like all typical Singaporeans - who is single - they will want to have a place of their own.

The problem is, the boss is a frequent traveller and has no time at all to even engage an agent. Hence one day the boss pass the whole job to me.

Of course I dilly dally as it is non of my business. At that time, I was aware that Nura is already in the industry and was still green in the industry and I didn't thought much of her. I wanted to contact friends in the contact list or maybe go back to DTZ which handled my parent's HDB purchase 10 years back - coincidentally, I was the one who manage all the appointments, decided which loan to get and the approval which house to buy - Dad was the Financial Controller. :P

Then when the boss finally "bang" table, I had to get my act together. I remember it was nearing Chinese New Year when I contacted her and we arrange to meet up at Jurong East Cafe Library.

Now, as I mentioned earlier, my last experience was my parent's current unit and that was years ago. Hence before I met her, I went online to HDB website and read up more on the resale requirements/criteria. Then I went up to my boss to confirm / get the following:

1. Unit Type - 4 / 5 room Jurong or 4 Room Clementi
2. Budget - $380K to $450K
3. Loan - Bank / HDB (to compare)
4. Photocopy of I/C, 15 months CPF statement, 3 months payslip, letter of employment
5. Low COV - HAPRAK PUN TAKPE (Boss wanna do a full renovation so a non-furnished is to his advantage)

I remembered sitting quietly when the trio entered - Nura J, followed by a couple.
I was introduced to Saat and Alina.

After sharing of information, clarifying etc, meeting wrapped up and off we go.

I remembered the first thing she did was to get a Home Loan Eligibility for my boss and that came in sometime on the 7th March 2013. That's the most important - regardless how much CASH you have, always find out how much HDB can offer a loan to you.

My boss find that HDB interest rate too high but i pointed out to him, that it is better than a bank loan and since he is a first time buyer, should take this opportunity. He was initially skeptical about my view and I think he went around asking and came back to tell me to proceed with the whole arrangement. (boss, i told you so!)

Nura tried to set up a few appointments for house viewing but for some reasons, it didn't materialise. I was beginning to get frustrated - since boss is chasing me. Hence end up, I realise that if I want to close this, I need to do something. I log on to property guru.

I will short list a few houses around the area that boss specify, pass it to boss for vetting and then get Nura to call their agents up. It's easier and faster because:

1. We know the location
2. We know the type of unit and the price and the floor size

Finally in March, we started house viewing. We went to quite a number of houses and finally sometime in 23rd May 2013, we were narrowing down to some units that my boss really like.

On the 26th May 2013, my boss finally decided on the unit at Yung An Road and I am glad that on the 6th September 2013, he got his keys and on 9th September 2013, renovation started.

In between there were LOTS of paperwork and I value and appreciate very much to both Nura and of course Abang Saat input.

What paperwork? Since boss decided on 26th May 2013 and he sign off the papers, I have to rush off to find interior designer and hasten the 2nd appointment (6 weeks between the 1st and 2nd lei!). Boss got pretty good taste and went to 4 Interior Designers before settling for the winner. You can imagine my frustration. Once that was done, all necessary permits have to be applied and since unit is still under the previous owner's name, we had to do a lot of paperwork in between.

I also have to credit Abang Saat. He appears very unfriendly. However first impression is never right (YES I HAD AN IMPRESSION OF NURA J TOO BUT THATS BETWEEN ME AND HER ALRIGHT???). I have to admit that WITHOUT his input, it was tough convincing my boss too.

He brought with him his YEARS of experience. His knowledge of the industry is very deep and HE can answer ANY questions I have. This is necessary so that both parties do not have any misunderstandings. His opinion carried some weight and whenever I need to pass an information to boss and if I tell boss that it was Saat who mentioned it, there will be no further questions on it.

Some of you may wonder if I have a stupid boss or something. No, my boss is smart. He just wants someone to go thru the details for him and keep him out of trouble and ensure that all is done in a smooth manner.

My boss surprised me - he said why did you pick Malay Property Agents? Is it because you are Malay?

I said no. I myself don't know why I pick them but i guess, it is takdir. Maybe because I believe that since this is boss first purchase, it is crucial to go slowly and with patience. Some agents don't like to dilly dally and hence I think I made the right choice - by choosing the units I want to view and pass it to the agent to facilitate the viewing and the follow up. In that particular area, you all have to admit, being Muslims, we are told to have patience at all times.

So yes, here is my entry and it is only right I conclude this "HUGE" episode of my life (You all think la since about CNY until almost 3rd quarter of 2013 then can conclude) and today I met Nura J for coffee and to pass her the cheque which boss prepared for quite a while. He left the date blank until he reached home after collecting the keys...wakakkaka (sorry cant help it).

In summary, during my contact with them, I do observed some unprofessional engagement going on NOT from them but from prospective clients.

1. Property Agents are doing a job. You think they are just being the middle person - when in fact they do much more. They do have their reputation to uphold
2. You think 1% or 2% agent fees is a lot of money for some pieces of paper but that isnt paper my dear...that's your property which is in their hands.
3. Please don't do referral and after that hope to get some sorts of comms out of them. It doesn't work that way.
4. Always, do your homework first before engaging them, when in doubt clarify. Both parties must work together
5. Don't expect them to find a house for you - always FIND your preference first. You are not their only client on the list. Once you find already, pass it to them to engage the list of homes you are interested in. If there's a match, good..if there isn't continue finding.
6. Do not think ill of others at first impression. Give them a chance - they also want to earn a living right? Do you really want God to judge you before your time comes?

I am truly in awe of this energetic mom who make time for family, friends, clients etc and I am truly and honestly deeply humbled by her dedication to help my boss and also her sincerity in building a friendship... - Mr E - you are a lucky husband and Nyla is a lucky girl! :) My sincere doa for you and hopefully you will be as successful as Saidatina Khadijah. Amin.

Thank you.

Angah

2013-05-21T21:44:00.000+08:00

Today, I am going to write on a friend who is now considered a sibling. We address her as Angah. There's 5 of us - we have Along, Angah, Alang, Achik (me) Usu (youngest). Angah is a daughter, a wife, a daughter in law, a mother of 3, a friend and a colleague.

This is my personal observation of Angah. Our first encounter was when we were joined ITE Cemta - Music, Drama & Dance group. During the entire period that we were involved in the rehearsals, I observed that she commanded a high amount of respect from everyone around her. Her sense of logic, leadership and righteousness is part of her. Fast forward a decade later, these qualities did not diminished. In fact it was more dominant. It was displayed in her daily life and of course passed on her to children.

And today, I was further impressed by the note that she wrote for her son. Her only son. Please check out screen shot of the note at the end of this blog. What she wrote encompass the demands of Allah SWT, the ways and behaviour of a man that's fitting to society.

First and foremost, a Muslim have to acknowledge that he has to believe in Allah SWT and Muhammad is His Messenger. A man is the head of the household, the Imam during a prayer.

Angah never fails to drill this into her son. As the only son, his duty is far much more complex than his elder sister or his younger sister. He is the 2nd in Command after Angah's husband, the main key to Faraid and the Wali to the 2 sisters.

In order to fulfil those duties,he has to fulfil his duties to Allah SWT the Sovereign - to whom we owe our life. His duty as a son, a brother and a grandchild at this age is simple - learn all that you can learn in life. Angah and husband did their part - secular education, religious education, family bonding etc. These actions now is for his benefit. It sets a routine to him and it prepares for this boy, his ultimate 3 roles later on - a husband, a father and eventually a grandfather.

If Angah did not insist on teaching things the right way for him now, it will probably cause a mistake later on his life. Obviously Angah and Husband has thought of how things should be done and how their kids should be raised. To this I recall the following verses:

Quran Chapter 40 Verse 60
"And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible"

I would like to add that try to remember this verse and teach them to your kids too:

Quran 46 Verse 15
"and We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty (30) months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: "My Lord! Grand me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will)"

The same verse is also mentioned in Chapter 31 Verse 14.

In 1 single note she manage to write on the following:
1. A parent's love and responsibility to him
2. His responsibility and duties to Allah SWT and his family.
3. His expected role in future when he has his own family.
4. His work ethics
5. His spending habits
6. His continuous life journey - life's a lesson.

In a bid to ensure their kids gets the best, some parents focus more on other aspect - maybe more secular than religion.

Angah is right when she said Allah SWT first and family second followed by the rest of things in life. Set your priorities right.

Religion keeps moral character in check, while family shapes responsibility and value. The combine actions of these will help the child to be an upright highly moral individual and Insya Allah a value to society, Amin.

Here's a snapshot of what Angah wrote:

Say No to physical abuse

2013-05-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

Over the weekend, a video went viral. Even though it was only 17 seconds it was evident enough to be hauled to court. An employee was physically abuse by his supervisor.

There are many cases of abuse that happens at work or within the office hours for eg.
Verbal abuses, sexual abuses, abuse among colleagues or even client vendor relationship.

There are many reasons why sometimes an abused employee rather keep quiet. Herewith are my personal view:

1. Weak human resource
I have always viewed Human Resource to be the disciplinary body of any organization. Payroll aside, they are the backbone where right is right and wrong is wrong. They even have to step on the CEO's toes even of the CEO is wrong. But how many strong Human Resource are there nowadays? Look around you, some HR are FT.

2. Family / Financial issues
Some of us suck it up for the sake of family. That's the only reason. Those who do, believe in karma.

3. New employee, completing the 1 year mark.
Some of us wishes to have good records on our CV. That's why we prefect to suck it up.

Regardless of any reason, no employee should go thru what that guy did. No one has the right to hit anyone over any work related issues.

We should not get personal over work related matters.

Any issues or disagreements, it should be settle amicably. First - mediation among colleagues followed by HR then higher authorities. If it gets out of hand, report to MOM or police if threatened.

The above if it happens when there's anyone around.

If it happens to you and no one is around, Slap that Asshole back, kick his balls and deny EVERYTHING that's being accused of you :p

Ok I m bad.

But yes, just strike back. Why subject yourself to such abuse anyway. FIGHT BACK!!!

Nitezzzzz :)

Edz

Results

2013-05-18T19:54:00.001+08:00

Among my friends and followers on Facebook, you would probably remember one of my photos that I took - a cup of warm water with a stick of cinnamon in it.

I mention that it was for my back pain remember?

Even though I m a firm believer of traditional medicine, thorough check up is important so there are no underlying issues besides the pain that we are currently having.

And so, I went for my first clinical consultation for my back in early April, an MRI was scheduled on the 29th April.

MRI - Magnetic Resonance Imaging

It was my first time going through it.
It was small quite enclose. Initially, I feel ok and then I feel warm and then I feel suffocated.
However I dare not move as it will affect the quality of the image. So stay still and do it once.

Once done I was allowed to go home and told to come back on the 14th May 2013.

Results
After waiting for more than an hour to see the doctor, he finally confirm that I have slip disc.
Good news, it's a small slip but bad news, it's too near the spinal cord.

Meaning - operation is a risk, condition is for life, medication is for relief, physio is an option and strenuous activity is not encouraged.

He gave me an option - physio or medication.

I opt for medication for a 3 months period and a review is set for the next course of action.

In meantime I am doing the following:

1. To lose weight
2. To gain body strength and leg strength to support my back.

Thank you to company's medical insurance and also my own if I can't claim from company:

1. First consultation - Senior Consultant - $78.00 paid $7.80 only (10%)
2. MRI - $799.00 (exclude GST) full upfront payment to be claim later together with medical report.
3. Results consultation - clinical doctor - $48.00 paid $4.80
4. Medical Report - $80.00 to be claim later

I hope I can claim everything by end May as the report would take about 3 weeks.

I pray that all will turn out well - Insya Allah.

Majlis Cukur Rambut

2013-05-13T20:31:00.001+08:00

My nephew turned 1 month old on the 13th May 2013.

As customs dictate, a ceremony is to be held for celebration. While the origin is pretty obscure and with the situation lately in following Islamic Traditions and Sunnah, we decide to see the event as a gathering of sorts for all family members.

The ceremony usually involves a marhaban, a group of men, reciting prayers for the parents and the baby well being, a sweet melody of singing in Arabic, praising God and His Messenger.

The highlight was when the men will have to stand and they will snip off bits of the baby's hair.

It was first lead by the paternal grandparents, maternal grandparents, paternal uncles/aunts older than my BIL and lastly maternal uncles/aunts older than my sis. And that's yours truly.

No expenses was spared for this celebration. We drew up a list of 300 guests:

100 from my parents siblings and their kids alone.
100 of My sister & BiL friends / colleagues
50 family members from my BiL side alone and
The rest is from other family members friends.

Number of dishes: 09 exclude rice.
Desserts: officially 5 but we receive additional 4 from guests

Event coordinator - Me.

Unlike sister's wedding, we don't have helpers but decide to rope in my cousin and friends for help.

I was definitely slogging in the food prep area and checking on the buffet, ensure guests are well fed, food is fully stock up and guests don't leave empty handed.

I am not a stranger to all these but even though it's nice to do it, it's also tiring and taxing to manage it.

Luckily I took OIL and Leave on Monday and Tuesday. True enough my back hurts like crap.

Overall, food is nice and it was a successful event.

I hope that we could do such events more to gather relatives and friends for catch up.

Amin.

Mother's Day

2013-05-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

And it's here again. I do not understand why such a day exist because, first I don't celebrate it nor I will ever.

Really, do we need a day to show our appreciation to our mothers?

I refuse to pay for those overpriced so called promos they have and to be a sucker at it.

Therefore, here is a list of my excuses that I would probably say to mother why I didn't get her a gift:

1. Mother, everyday is Mother's Day. Our whole life revolves around you too.

2. I thought you told me to save money?

3. My monthly allowance to you exceed any Mother's Day Gift from any of Lee Hwa Jewellery Promo.

4. Sister gave you a grandson. That's the present you been waiting for.

5. Unlike sis, Chanel will never look good on you. Probably a Hermes Birkin.

6. But mother, that PM's wife from the neighboring country has an entire collection and colours. So we shouldn't be getting that for you and copy her. Dad probably has to sell the flat or deplete his savings just to get that for you.

7. Diamond rings Mother? Dad should get that for you..consider it as your 2nd proposal.

8. Oh Yah mother you prefer gold. Let us wait till the gold price to really hit rock bottom.

9. Coz u know we got 2 mothers now in the family. I can't possibly spend gifts for my sister too right? The budget for her exhausted when she got married. I m raising new budget for children's day.

10. Coz mother, what I do now in life is for you. I appear emotionless to you but deep inside only Allah SWT know how deep my love for you is. Like any other child, I only want the best for you.
To you, we are gifts from Him but to us you are His divine choice for us and we are eternally in debt to Him.

You are my mother, and only mother, and we hope as your children, we have not disappoint you too much either.

Happy Mother's Day mak. We love you.
Abah
Aidil Edzwan
Yunizar & Hussien
Khairul
Azhany
Luth Arish

Luth Arish

2013-05-04T03:04:00.000+08:00

13/4/2013.

Luth Arish was born to lovely couple - Yunizar & Hussien. I was probably excited and but kept my calm.

When I came over to KKH the next day, I still kept my cool as I tell myself the fun starts when he is home.

Thankfully the sister gave birth naturally and she's home 2 days after.

There were variations to his name and I gave my fair share as well - Arish Sulaiman and sister / BIL prefer Luth Arish, taking the name after prophet Luth (Lot / Lut)

I been loving that boy since then, kissing, carrying, cooing, talking crap to a baby who don't understand and fussing. Instantly I realize I love babies.

Anyway Luth Arish sayang, OM loves you. OM btw is a term used by Indonesians for uncle. Malays use Pakcik, Javanese use Paman, Boyanese use Rama. My sister - as ridiculous as ever, insisted to address me as OM hence that got stuck.

I prefer to use Uncle Daddy. Hahahahahaha.

Look forward the day the boy can walk and talk and I'm gonna spoil him rotten. Welcome to the family dear.

"Friend"

2013-05-04T02:39:00.000+08:00

So I m writing this at 0218 am in the morning because:

1. I happen to be awake and can't go back to sleep
2. I am puzzled over an action of a "friend"

Here's the story goes:

As you all know I did change my Facebook account and I had to selectively add some of you again.

The very reason I did this because:

1. Suddenly I realize that I m exposing those Muslim ladies who tak tutup aurat and I don't wanna be burden by extra dosa for nothing. Hence all pictures of my sister's wedding etc no longer in facebook.

2. I think it's about time not to include people who don't really matter to u anymore.

So anyway, I add a few and some really took their own sweet time to add me back - not offended but I make sure I alway include in a message to let them know who I really am.

As usual, I don't really pay attention until I came across a friend who has this particular friend picture tagged on his Facebook.

Lets name this friend A and our mutual friend B.

So I realize I did send a whatsapp text message to A a few months back, asking how he is etc and it ended there. Busy with work, I lapse contact with him and of course there was no add notification by A.

Prior to that, A was fine with me - joined A to club etc and we laugh sing gossip. The usual crap. The last club session I learnt he got promoted as part of a management team - in the F&B industry. Of course being a true friend I congratulated him as he work hard and believe what he did is right,
Fast forward today, A didn't bother replying to my whatsapp message when I text him today and this was not the first time.

Anyway i try not to make irrelevant speculation as I believe in giving time to others. Anyway during those days that i did went out with him, A was having issues with B ok...and I knew all about it coz A told me. As usual I keep my mouth shut.

Now B tagged his pictures. B is a diva and he has all the characteristic of one and he deserves to be one.

What I cannot understand is, the double face that A is portraying here. It does make me look like a fool isn't it?

Being friends we shared a lot of our personal information and salary is one of them. Of course your salary should go up each year and mine kinda of double since I left finance and joined sales. And my aim is to do double of last year.

This however was not the last topic we discuss after the last meet up. Therefore I don't understand his lack of communication to me or what was that about me that pissed him off.

So I guess, I won't bother to play the guessing game and let it be from now onwards. If he thinks I won't survive I guess he is wrong. Life is cruel but I m not desperate and the reason I wrote this because eventually this will be seen by B and probably A and the world is really such a small place and I just want to be a bitch about it.

Cest La Vie.

The Past

2013-04-08T18:56:00.003+08:00

It's amazing that I am writing / typing this from bus service 168 which I board from Tampines.
I was from an appointment earlier at ALPS and then went to White Sands.

While I was on my way to ALPS, I received a text message from someone who use to have the hots for me. we were both young - I was 23, K was 19. Ask me out for coffee. I waited at Old Town White Coffee for K.

I never really give into my feelings for K and K is aware of that. Fast forward today, K looks so much better than the skinny person I know.

My heart skipped a beat when K greeted me. I was instantly reminded of the past. Those mushy declarations from K.

Definitely promises of a young adolescent not to be taken seriously. Somehow I felt funny when I left K at Pasir Ris MRT.

I somehow feel that K is laughing at me. The expanded me.

At 23 with a waist of 25", sharp features, I was a head turner. Now with bigger thighs and rounder face, proof of a changing lifestyle, the strings of suitors suddenly shrink and there's no one Q-ing anymore.

It's a sad truth but life goes on.

Emotionally I feel sad but hey, I'm happy.

I will get over this - eventually.

Love

Edz

Who are we?

2013-04-07T23:06:00.001+08:00

Yes, that's my post is all about today.

Who are we? Who am I? What am I?

Have you faced these series of questions before? If yes, you aren't alone. Such questions arises usually when we face a situation that is beyond our understanding, a confusion that sometimes breaks our hearts, rendering us incapable of coherent thoughts much less common sense. In some cases, it can be suicidal.

We love to follow trends, mimic them or even recreate them. We will proudly declare that it's our brand and see if we can have our own followers. Everyone wants to be popular right?

It's evident in time today - the changing landscape of how we view fashion, religion, lifestyle, etc etc.

We then want to be fit into today's society so we can't wait to grow up - we study and work. We graduate and start work. We earned and we spend and we spend. The smart ones will earn, saved then spent while the berani mati will earn, spend, get a card, roll over credit and spent.

We wear the glamorous clothes, the stylish hijab amassing praises from friends and likes on Instagram and Facebook. We carry the Furla (I carry it) or the LV or the Birkin yet we are never fulfilled by our endless collection. The bling bling is the ultimate proof of our wealth or is it the postal code of our address?

We dine richly and want to be seen in clubs. We swipe the cards while sparing the cash. We pretend to have a life, yet our dirty secrets is never seen.

Yet how has all these define us? For the love of God, are we really becoming so bothered that we forgot the final clothes that wrap us isn't the fabric by Christian Dior nor we be accompanied by wealth and richness but by the simple white cloth.

And it's never been about the outside. It has always been inside.

Think about it.

Love

Edzy

Jodoh.

2013-01-07T22:32:00.000+08:00

This morning, I was on my way to work when I received a call from a good friend - let's call her Tina.

Tina is your typical, studious girl, who is forever in jeans and tshirt, with pony tail hair, black frame specs and the nice personality to go along with.

She is working in the F&B industry as part of the corporate office managers. She was hurt by her parents accusations that she is probably a lesbian since she has more girlfriends than boyfriends and since she is reaching 30, not even 1 guy has ever made it in her life.

You see, the poor girl was bawling her eyes out when she called me. I had to calm her down and tell her to continue crying softly to let out the negative feelings.

I don't understand parents or relatives or friends or anyone who thinks they know more about others, to the extent that their so called "truth" about someone.

You see, I been thru that and with my laser sharp tongue, no one dares to repeat it to my face.

When you are drop dead gorgeous or handsome but not attached, you are assume to be gay or lesbian.
When you display characters that is not what you should be as per others expectations, you will be assumed to be a drag, sissy or butch.
When you are young and naive but you chose to get married, wagging tongues will assume you are having a shotgun marriage.
When you are old and people think you intend to live it out as a bachelor or spinster, they assume no one wants you as you are probably ugly, mindless bimbo or himbo, too fussy or career minded BUT if you give them a card to your wedding - they will say - wanna die get married for what??

When you just got married and start to plan your life, the natural questions will come by - when's the baby coming. It's pretty alright for the 1st year. Anticipate frowns in the 2nd year.

If its too long after marriage, they will say you are planning it too long,
If its too fast after marriage, they will say you conceive it before marriage,
If nothing comes out after 2 years, they probably say that the wife took the pick or the husband not enough ammunition,

You see, what we do we are judge everyday, so fuck them all.

Live and let live and let YOUR own choice dictate your life.

Not others.

Keep yourself happy and no one if fit to tell you what you have to do except yourself.

Delhi Gang Rape Victim Passed Away.

2012-12-29T08:55:00.002+08:00

I was awake at 6 am to be greeted by this tragic news. A young Indian student was raped not by 1 BUT by 6 guys and whacked with an iron rod. When they are done with her, threw her off the bus and left to die.

This incident sparked massive riot in India.

The poor girl underwent many operations to her damaged intestines, had cardiac arrests and other multiple organ issues.

As tensions mounted, Indian Govt proceeded after consulting with doctors there in both public & private hospitals to send the girl to Mount Elizabeth hospital in Singapore.

She arrived and was immediately treated by a group of multi disciplinary doctors who went ahead to stabilize her condition.

She died this morning at 0445hrs.

The men who raped her should be given the most barbaric punishment that they can think of equal to the pain that the girl went thru.

That stupid dumb scientist who SAID that the girl should have submit herself to the rape should be raped as well. She should be sued by the parents and publish a FULL PAGE apology to the parents.

Why would a woman want to be raped? Which woman wanna get raped?

I hope the poor girl soul should not rest yet but to come back & haunt those 6 rapist plus the stupid scientist bitch.

Sekadar Renungan

2012-12-16T11:49:00.003+08:00

Salam,

Pagi tadi ku terlihat status update dari member sekolah yang aku amat hormati mengenai pasangan remaja yang mabuk menahan teksinya untuk ke sebuah hotel. Dia rasa serba salah kerana dia tidak dapat menunaikan permintaan mereka kerana tidak mahu rasa bersubahat.

Memanjang ku komen mengenai arak & persamaannya mengenai rokok. Tapi mungkin tidak dapat di terima ramai.

Tapi bukankah arak itu ibu segala maksiat atau permulaan bagi maksiat?

Ku remove komenku kerana ku rasa tidak dapat memdatangkan kebaikkan nyata terus ku ingin menyatakan hasrat ku & harap mendatangkan kebaikkan. di sini ku akan kupaskan pengalaman ku yang aku ingin kongsi.

Sewaktu ku bekerja di Hotel 8# dahulu, ku saksikan ramai anak anak muda yang ada sebaya umur ku, abang - kakak, pakcik - makcik atau atok atok yang datang ke hotel ini.

Maka ku pilih jalan yang sesuai untuk menjalankan tugas tanpa rasa janggal.

Pertama setiap kali ku nampak kelibat seseorang seperti Muslim, yang pertama ku lakukan - ku beri salam dan bersalaman dengan si lelaki.

Kita bersangka baik, walaupun hanya setakat 2 jam sahaja yang mereka akan gunakan. Ku tidak perlu bertanya jika mereka suami isteri atau tidak. Ia bukan urusan ku. yang penting ku tidak bersangka buruk kerana ku takkan tahu perihal perkara sebenar, kerana kalau ia perkara yang baik - aku akan melakukan fitnah.

Ini benar benar terjadi - ada 3 kisah yang nyata:

Seorang lelaki yang berumur dalam lingkungan 40-an masuk seorang diri dan ku memberi salam seperti biasa. Mendengar salam ku, secara automatik ia menjawab salam dan memberikan ku air muka yang sudah tahap menyampah dengan caraku.

Dia sudah keluarkan i/c nya dan sempat ku nampak namanya.

Tapi kemudiannya dia terus keluar & tidak pula menanyakan tentang bilik untuk check in.

Kisah ke 2:

Sepasang pasangan muda check in dalam pukul 4 pagi dan ku memberi salam seperti biasa. Si perempuan ketawa sinis, se lelaki senyum tersipu tapi tetap menjawab.

Tidur semalam katanya selepas clubbing dan ingin rehat sebelum pulang kerana mulut masih bau arak.

Ku senyum mendengar alasannya - tidak menghukum kerana bukan tempatku untuk menghukum & aku juga sedang bekerja.

Mereka kemudian check in seperti biasa, dan masuk ke bilik kamar. Dalam CCTV yang ku saksikan, si lelaki berjauhan dengan si perempuan dan tidak bersamaan sepanjang perjalanan ke bilik. Tetapi tetap masuk bersama. Ku tetap bersangka baik dan teruskan kerja.

Dalam 15 minit kemudian telefon berdering dan ku jawab - asal dari bilik pasangan tadi.
si lelaki tanya di mana ada kedai untuk beli kotex. Di maklumkan kepada ku si perempuan sewaktu mandi terperasan beliau didatangi haid. Mujur rakan kerja ada spare terus memberi kepada si perempuan itu tadi. Suaranya seperti hampa...

Ku tetap bersangka baik & teruskan tugas.

Dalam pukul 7 pagi, si lelaki turun untuk menghisap rokok & ku pula sedang bersiap untuk pulang jadi terjumpa di carpark belakang hotel itu.

Ku bersalaman dan dia terus ucapkan terima kasih pada ku kerana menolongnya memberikan kotex itu semalam.

Ku tercengang & bertanya kenapa. Di ceritakan kepada ku tetapi ku pendekkan:

Mereka bukan pasangan suami isteri & hanya kenal antara satu sama lain sewaktu di club malam. jadi semasa dalam bilik pabila si perempuan hendak bersiap untuk mandi, ia terperasan ada yang tak kena mengenai si perempuan itu tapi kerana nafsu dia tolak tepi dan tunggu perempuan itu selesai mandi.

Apabila di maklumkan kepadanya yang si perempuan itu sedang kedatangan haid, beliau memang hampa tapi terus telefon kami di reception. Rakan kerja ku terus ke bilik mereka untuk memberikan kotex kepada lelaki itu.

Maka apabila dia memberikan kotex kepada perempuan itu, dia terperasan seperti ada tompok tompok merah yang bernanah di beberapa tempat tertentu pada tubuh perempuan itu.

Maka hilang segala nafsunya dan beliau berfikir panjang hingga ke pagi sementara perempuan itu mohon maaf kerana tidak dapat melayannya - sepatutnya haidnya tidak datang pada waktu itu.

Ku pun senyum dan nyatakan Allah masih menyayangi dia dan ku beritahu padanya suruh lakukan yang baik buat dirinya dan tinggalkan yang tidak baik dari diri nya.

Dia habiskan rokok & terus mohon diri untuk pulang tanpa mengambil duit deposit biliknya dan di tinggalkan untuk perempuan itu.

Kisah ke 3:

3 perempuan melayu pulang dalam pukul 4 pagi. Bau arak dan rokok masih ada di mulut mereka dan baju mereka sungguh menonjol sangat. Ku tetap senyum & beri salam seperti biasa. Di jawab salamku dengan mata yang tajam. Kemudian minta kunci bilik mereka. ku ambil dari pigeonhole yang tersimpan kunci itu termasuk kad pendaftaran mereka.

dalam pukul 6.45 pagi, ada 3 perempuan melayu bertudung keluar untuk check out. Bila ku capai kunci mereka, ternyata mereka adalah 3 perempuan melayu yang ku berikan kunci mereka sebelumnya.

Jadi di ambil kisah hidupku ini, dan ku letakkan diriku jika aku adalah rakan ku yang membawa teksi.
Pada ku, Allah SWT lebih mengetahui dan dia tahu kerelaan hati kita. Malah pada pendapat ku masih ada peluang bagi kawanku untuk memberikan dakwah yang terbaik buat mereka.

*memberi salam pada mereka
*dalam perjalanan ke hotel, berbual ramah dengan mereka - tidak perlu mengenai ugama tapi tanya berapa lama club, club mana yang best etc etc. korek mengenai latar belakang mereka - ia penting buat doa atau cegah kemungkaran.
*jalankan amanah tugas seperti biasa
*jangan ambil duit mereka jika rasa bersubahat atau kalau ambil, anggap lah ia satu duit tugasan, atau tidak dermakan sahaja.

*pertama - kita hanya manusia dan kita sudah berada tahap dewasa and kita sudah faham maksud ayat amar maaruf nahi mungkar.

*kedua - kita tidak mampu cegah dengan kelakuan, kita cegah dengan lisan & kemudian hati.
dengan memberi salam, beramah mesra, dalam baik kita berdakwah & bersangka baik mengenai keadaan mabuk mereka - kerana ia Ibu segala maksiat, agar di terbitkan sedikit rasa keraguaan pada hati mereka yang kelakuan mereka lakukan itu tidak baik. Yang penting kita assertive mengenai perkara itu. Kerana bukan mereka tidak tahu yang perkara mereka lakukan itu salah..meraka tahu tapi buat tak tahu.

*ketiga - kita harus menjadi contoh dan senantiasa bersangka baik. Kemungkinan mereka telah berumah tangga pada awal usia muda tetapi masih belum mengenal erti maksud agama.

Jadi kalau kita cepat menghukum, kita tidak dapat menyelamatkan hati mereka. Yang penting hati mereka di detikkan untuk mereka fikir & dinilaikan kebaikkan atau keburukkan.

Tak rugi bersifat ehsan antara satu sama lain. Sebaik baik manusia, ialah mereka yang mencegahkan kemungkaran dalam apa jua perkara.

Kalau kita bersifat menghukum dan mencela, sampai bila pun kita sibukkan dengan aib atau kelakuan manusia sekeliling tapi tidak pula kita berkelakuan sedemikian dengan mereka yang ada ikatan silaturrahim.

Seperti -

a. isu aurat buat wanita
para isteri, anak anak dara atau sepupu sepupu yang tidak menutup aurat.
Perkara yang nyata dan mendatangkan azab buat kaum lelaki yang menjadi suami, bapa, abang, adik atau wali mereka.

Bukankah ini perkara bersubahat?

b. merokok
mereka yang menghisap rokok pun melakukan kemungkaran - dari segi:
i. kesihatan
ii. pembaziran wang

Dari kitab Imam Syafie, Al-Umm, di nyatakan merokok itu haram hukumnya kerana yang di hisap itu adalah benda benda yang memudaratkan kepada badan kita untuk jangka panjang. jadi wajib kita mencegah kemungkaran ini yang berlaku sekeliling kita.

Hukum Makruh bukan dari segi erti maksud "di lakukan itu tidak dosa tapi kalau buat tidak pula berpahala"

Ia lebih bermaksud dari itu. Padaku ia perkara yang mendatangkan makna Makruh ialah harus di tinggalkan walaupun belum di nyatakan haram.

Kongsilah jika perlu.
Saya bukan orang yang bijaksana atau cerdik agama cuma saya rasa tidak patut kita dengan mudah mencela mereka yang bukan dalam arus agama. Malah sudah kewajipan sesama umat untuk ingat mengingati dan sama sama bersikap ehsan.

Kalau dah terkena dengan batang hidung sendiri dari anak - anak sendiri bagaimana pula? kalau dah members takkan nak maki anak members kan?

ini yang saya namakan - sibuk buka aib orang lupa mencari keredhaan Allah.