A House Full of Chicks

Angel counted down the days, noting her last Sunday without braces (then went on to declare each day of the week as it came), her last time to eat Cane’s without braces, her last time to clean her room without braces. You name it, it was a milestone. I humored her for the most part, but eventually her sister and I were about to lose our minds. So far the most important decision in here life,  besides her decision to follow Christ, was what color rubber bands she wanted. She settled with green and purple.

So it’s done. Angel has braces. She’s pumped and Christal is on deck. Thankfully we have a couple of years before Christal joins team Brace Face.

Last Picture Without Braces

Still Beautiful

I really do think I have been given the best gifts in the world in Angel & Christal. They are precious, kind, servant-hearted, smart and just generally awesome. They are constantly trying to find the good in circumstances and people. For instance, Christal’s soccer team lost their game on Saturday. While they were huddled up Christal told the team, “It’s ok guys, we did our best.” If you know Christal at all, you know that in Christal’s world everyone’s a winner and things are usually all rainbows and unicorn milk.

So last night after I got home from soccer practice Angel skipped into the garage to tell me that she spent her time writing encouraging notes to the duty teachers. I asked if there was a special occasion. She said, “no, but they have to get to work so early and I think this is a good way to start their day. Besides, it helps me learn more verses. It’s a win, win!”

I could learn loads from my girls. I pray they never lose the gift of encouragement they are to those around them. I just love them so much!!

I will dedicate my first couple of sentences of this post to acknowledging the fact that I haven’t posted since February 1st.  That would be right about eight and a half months. I’ve been busy what can I say…

I know I’ve mentioned before that parenting is hard. I mean for real… parenting is HARD! Back before I was a parent, I knew everything. I could look at a situation and know exactly what the parent should do. I can’t count the number of trips I took with teenagers when a 6th grade girl would join the club of womanhood and have no idea what was going on. Oh how I wanted to shake parents for not having “the talk” with their kids. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was so bad. Well, I’m here to tell you it ain’t as easy as it looks!

 A pastor friend of mine once said that if you don’t have “the talk” with your child by the time they are nine, you’re too late. They will start hearing it from someone else. With that in mind I was a responsible mother and made sure that when both girls turned nine we went to a Body Basics class and had dinner to discuss the birds and the bees. It wasn’t horrible, but I was way more nervous than I expected.

With the basics behind me I just knew we were good to go. We have random conversations every now and then where I can correct misinformation the girls get from friends. I’m loving the open line of communication. However, I have discovered recently that “the talk” isn’t a one time thing. Should we be so lucky… Oh no, sex is everywhere around us. Some of the most scandalous sex talk is in the Bible. Which I discovered when we were having Bible study and my amazing leaders let me know the Scripture ahead of time. I looked them over and there was no getting around it, I had to talk to Angel before we had Community Group.

I called her into my room, explained that we needed to have a life lesson chat and I jumped right in. I read the verses that discussed God letting people have their way in sin… men will have unnatural relations with men, women will have unnatural relations with women… you get the point. So there I was having to explain homosexuality to my almost twelve-year-old. In order for me to explain what  is natural I had to explain clearly what is natural and God’s  plan.  For some reason when you’re sitting in front of your child it’s not just Science. You can try as hard as you may to make everything proper and biological, but inevitably it becomes personal.  She asked if Matt & I have sex and I had to be honest with her. I almost died a million deaths, but if we can have an open communication and she understand God’s plan, it’s worth my mortification.

I want my kids to have a healthy, Godly view of sex. At whatever the cost… my pride, the awkwardness, the hard to talk about subjects. I’ll get over all of it to make sure my kids know what God intends for them. They won’t hate it, it won’t be taboo, it won’t be in a list of things they can’t do. I want it to be beautiful and something that they can always talk to me about. In order for that to happen I have to pray constantly and seeking God’s grace and direction.

Did I mention parenting is hard?

The fact that the Lord created all of us… each and every single human being… in His image is a truth that my pastor preached on Sunday. The girls love the concepts that we are all the same and everyone deserves the same love and respect because after all we’re all image bearers. They managed to teach a huge lesson…

We are having a joint birthday party for the girls soon. The girls and I were chatting about it yesterday and I was explaining that I thought it was cool that they wanted to include their friends from church, school and the neighborhood, but at the same time it had the potential for people to feel left out. I gave an example of one of their friends that always seems to feel left out. That’s when they spilled the beans…

“Here’s the deal Mrs. Jess, (insert little girl name here) does nothing but lie. She lies about everything and it’s just not fun to play with her. When I tried to talk to her about lying she told me that I was lying by saying she lied.”  (Insert tears from Angel)

“Well, I’m proud that you tried to tell her that lying isn’t right. Do you think you should invite her to the party?”

“Just because she’s a liar doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be her friend. Besides she looks like God too…”

Once again, I was speechless. The momma bear in me wanted to simply tell them that they can’t play with her anymore, but my girls have managed to look at their lying little friend through the eyes of Jesus so why couldn’t I? So, instead of forbidding them to play with her we decided that we would start praying for their friend and love her the way Jesus loves her. In order to do that their foundation and love for their Savior has to be steadfast and constantly growing. There is a battle waging for my kids and now more than ever I have to be on the front lines praying for them and equipping them.

Don’t get me wrong I want them to be protected and surrounded by positive influences, but who am I to keep them from loving a little girl who is so obviously crying out to be loved. I will most definitely keep my eyes and ears open and there won’t being much going to her house, but instead she is welcome in our home, where I can keep an eye on them, and watch my girls treat her with the love of Jesus.

Raising kids to be God fearing and God honoring adults is hard work. I’m so glad that He’s given us everything we need for life and godliness…

It’s been two years ago to the day that the girls had a visit with their mom and Christal came home with us for good. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday and other times it feels like it’s been ages. Either way she’s ours forever. She’s pretty amazing and I’m thankful God thought that Matt & I were cool enough to be her parents.

Christal in pictures….

Our Community Group gave us a session with Lindsey Whitty of mustard.seed.photograpy as an adoption gift. It was perfect and I loved every minute of the time we spent with her. She has an amazing gift and of course God used her make the girls feel like they are beautifully and wonderfully made. I’ve been waiting with bated breath to see the final product and here are just a few…

I love that she's showing off her blue polish.

Oh how I love this man!

Did I mention we had fun?

My favorite!! I wonder what secrets they're telling...

One adored man!

I still can't believe I get to be their mom!!

The other night at dinner the girls were asking us what it was like before they came. They wanted to know where we sat for dinner, what our routines were like and who put our dishes in the dishwasher since they do now :).

One of the things we told them about was how we used to go out on dates all the time. They thought it was so sweet and suggested we start doing that again. So we did. Matt and I went on a date last night.  Since the day the girls arrived it’s been a struggle for Matt and I to find time to actually go out on dates, but from some encouragement from the girls we actually did it.

The girls were so excited that we were going. They helped me pick out an outfit and get ready. You would have thought I was going to go to the fanciest place in town with the stuff they tried to get me to wear. It was fun.

The more I think about it, the more I like them being involved in or just being aware that once upon a time Matt & I fell in love. The mushy gushy kind and that we are still in love. I want them to have a model of a marriage that honors God and each other. They grew up understanding what it meant for their mom to be “ditched” for another woman. They saw their parents fight with their words and their hands.  I want them to have an experience and a picture that far overshadows those memories. They deserve a Matt Lawrence. They deserve to be loved and honored they way Matt loves and honors me. They are growing up in a home where I strive to love and respect Matt. They watch Matt help me around the house, do laundry & come home from working hard everyday.

So date night is more than just a great time with Matt. It’s an opportunity to show our girls what it means to be treasured by their future husband. I think we’ll do it again next week!

My whole life my sweet Grandma sent me a check for my birthday. Every year like clock work until I aged out :). Funny how the tradition has followed with my kids getting money from her and Pap for Christmas. They live in Maryland and it’s hard for them to have to go buy gifts and mail them. Besides the kids love getting to pick out their own stuff.

I hadn’t thought anything of it until Angel asked me about it Monday night. She was just wondering if  Grandma was still going to send her $25. I thought it was kind of rude that she asked, but I told her that I assumed that she would. Before I could start on my lecture of how we don’t expect things and it would be ok if she didn’t, Angel wanted to know what my favorite thing was. I told her I had no clue what she was talking about. “Well, I’m just trying to be sneaky about asking you what you want for Christmas. I’m going to use the money Grandma sends to buy you something awesome. You can get something awesome for $25 right?”

I asked her why she would want to spend all her Christmas money on me and she reminded me that she’s broke because she’s been punished from her allowance. That’s another story for another day. We agreed that she didn’t need to buy me anything, but I would love for her to make me something. She got real excited and went to immediately start crafting. I ended up with a booklet that listed some of the cool things we’ve done together and on the very last page she wrote, “You’re an awesome mom!”

It’s one of those things that I will treasure forever. I know that technically, by law and just about every other sense I’m their mom, but sometimes I forget that they consider me that. It’s one of the coolest  things in the world to have kids consider you their mom when they don’t have to. It would be completely acceptable for Matt and I to simply be some pretty cool people who have loved them and helped them, but to them we’re more. We’re their mom and dad. They don’t call us Mom and Dad, but who cares? That’s how they think of us. It’s the best gift I could ever ask for.

I have memories of being woken up by my dad with a flip of the switch and him bellowing, “Up from the grave He arose! Like a mighty triumph…” It wasn’t every morning, but it was enough for it to be a memory that will forever be engrained in my head.

Not really intending to, I have developed my own way to wake the girls up. I didn’t realize that I did it so often until this morning. I turn on the light and in the sweetest voice I can muster up I say, “Good morning girls! This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad.” I usually follow it by what the weather is doing so they know how to dress. This morning I walked in, flipped on the light, “Good morning, girls!” And I was interrupted. Christal said, “we know, we know. This is the day the Lord has made. You say it everyday.” I giggled and then realized I’ve created a memory and thought about my dad waking me up.

It’s funny the things that stick with us…

I have an office full of teddy bears. When we celebrated the girls’ adoption we threw a big party and asked that people bring teddy bears instead of gifts. The teddy bears  are going to go to Brave Heart Children In Need. Brave Heart is an organization that provides teddy bears and bags of toiletries to foster kids when they are removed from their home. I love them. Both of my girls have received gifts from Brave Heart throughout their stay in foster care and we wanted to give back.

Well, the bears are still residing in the Lawrence home. I simply haven’t had a chance to take them to Brave Heart. The main reason is I want to make a big deal out of it and have the girls come with me. The other day Christal was playing with one of them and she asked if she could keep just one of them. I asked her if she remembered the day she was checked out of school by a stranger. She put her head down and nodded. She said it was the worst day ever.

“When you left for school that morning did you know you weren’t going back home?”

“No ma’am.”

“I bet you had a special stuffed animal that was left there.”

“I did. I never saw it again and I don’t know where it is now.”

“I know that makes you pretty sad, but I bet it helped a little when you got a new bear.”

She lifted her head and smiled, “I want other kids to get new ones too. I have plenty of stuffed animals now. I don’t need one of these.”

I told her my plan to pray over the bears before we bring them. She thought that was crazy. So I explained how God takes ordinary things and makes them extraordinary. We talked about how God could use something that isn’t even alive because He’s just that cool. She listed some ways that God might use the bears… they could help snuggle when there isn’t anyone that wants to snuggle with a kid, they could listen when a kid is sad, they could have tea parties with kids, go to the doctor with kids and maybe even meet God. She came up with all those things God could do with a teddy bear. Love her.

The coolest part was telling her about how God does the same thing with our lives. He takes ordinary people and does extraordinary things. I will forever treasure the times I get to share truth with my girls. It’s so beautiful to watch them have compassion for other kids that have similar stories to theirs. And to watch them love them from the overflow of their hearts.