jeeshtothewar

Hello lifejournal, it's been ages since I have been here. Hello, hello, hello. Life is pretty weird now. It's at the in-between stage, and I can already see the end of this period. University looms at the corner of my peripheral future vision. Omg, should the word even be "looms", that sounds so scary and foreboding, but in a way it does feel like that, tbh, in many ways. How will things be so far away? Will you be happy? Will I be happy? Will there be things to do, food to try, people to help, things to learn, skies to see, flowers to gawk at? Is change good? I have been pretty much of a bum, but that feels good after 6 years of mad-hectic-attemptstoachieve school life. Watching TV series felt pretty good, until I basically ran out of things to watch. Now I'm kinda reading mad dystopia books, history books, classics. I baked until the oven tripped and the house ran out of electricity till the electrician saved us all. I give tuition, I design shoes, I do a few internships, I learn how to drive, I explore Singapore and sometimes other parts of the world, I decorate my room, I draw a little, I mourn for my dog, I attempt to volunteer (organisations ignore me), I wrote the Easter Play, I learn how to play the violin. I hope that's enough, I hope I'm good enough for the world, for you, when the time comes to be.

Second last day. LET'S GO. Let me do well and let this be over.

Drinking leftover white wine, sitting on the living room low table, back facing the mountains of worksheets I'm supposed to file.

Math was the worse paper, AFC is crap (at least I mananged to crap some essay after 15mins of pre -exams last min mugging), the rest of the papers were alright. Watch toy story 3, celebrated Sally's birthday on Wed. Next day went to watch A team with supposedly rap but ended up being Nora and I with random 4k boys, went to hang with the girls at Settler's, then had dinner and watched sex and the city 2 with Pops and Jo. The day after I went to the school library to do h3, NERD, then I hopped over to Dan's house to lepak w rap, played PSP, scrabble, chess and swam, rushed back home for dinner with press that lovely Perry made (Y). Good days.

Time to get back to the filing and the h3.

More than words, or Word in itself?

You are more than the Church can contain,

Much less the gilded tabernacle.

Yet You fit within the palm of my heart,

And unfold my helping hand.

Choirs of Angels and scores of men

Blow Your trumpets for You.

Yet a small child says it better

By giving a hug or two.

Where soul meets body: your hand in mine

I haven't been here forever because I feel like I've so much to say, yet no time to say it all.

I'm going to keep this short so that I can get back to my work.

Sports is heartbreak warfare. Sometimes you make it and sometimes you don't. And the sometimes you don't, well nothing can make it better, nothing can ever make it different. Nothing you do can change the colour of the medal. And that suckssssss. You know you did your best and you trained hard and you did everything you could and it doesn't work your way. And you cry. I guess it's 30000290000 times worse if you're in a team sport. The people around you grew with you and etc.

Anyway there's respect and blood in all of this and softball boys, soccer girls and boys, floorball boys, you did raffles proud. I <3 you.

I will post about track, really really will. I promise you online diary that preserves my memories for me.

All the best to bball girls and boys, netball (no need to say girls here haha), softball girls etc. We will do it (: