Four Months In, And....

Today is four months since our little soda shop opened. It has been a whirlwind and also a marathon. 

I have stressed nonstop since we opened. I worry this venture will bankrupt Genius Golfer and me. I worry it will make one or both of us crazy. I worry this could be the reason behind G deciding I'm too much work--since I come with the shop--and will divorce me.

In reality, GG has been a ROCKSTAR! He works his regular job from home then comes over and works another full time job at the shop. He handles all the bills, orders, accounting, payroll and franchise stuff. He talks me down off the ledges I keep finding myself teetering on. He reminds me that we will be fine, and that this is what I signed on for--for the next 10 years.

Actually I have come to understand that we can tot his project with differing mental picture of what this would look like. I imagined that I'd hire and train all the cute high school kids and then leave them working happily as I ran errands and did marketing in person to the schools, PTAs, etc. I imagined that GG would receive the billing for vendors and payroll and write the checks. Oh how wrong I have been!

I work M-Sat, from before we open until usually, 6 or 7PM. Saturdays I'm in a little later and out a little earlier, thanks to GG who spends another very full day there. I think I am averaging 60 hrs/week since we opened. My body sure feels it. On weekends when the local high schools have dances, I work more since the Saturdays are reserved for day-dates and dance things for our employees. I have been open to close several weekend nights because I am free labor and no one else was available.

On Sundays GG will deep clean the coke machines monthly and the ice machine quarterly, since that is the only day we are closed. We usually visit the shop every Sunday to pick up the rags for laundry, or at least to make a drink for ourselves.

But the weather finally turned out of winter and that has made all the difference. We are just beginning the summer season down here and the warm sunny weather brings people out in much larger numbers. Now if we can just keep enough employees all summer--while their families go on vacations, the kids go to camps and conferences, and all the regular family stuff people do together--to keep our shifts staffed to serve our customers when t ey come in.

Meanwhile, We Are a "Dateline" Episode

 On Halloween day, several members of GG's family got a mysterious text from an unknown number. It w as small photo of a computer printed note announcing a wedding upcoming the following week--of Mamacita and someone named W. We have never heard of W.

Sister K had decided to move back East and had left Mamacita's house about a week or two before that. The other sisters in law were in proximity and regularly checked on and did things with Mamacita every week. That particular week, however, things had gotten crazy for both of them and as I understood they had both missed being there in person. GG checked the "bouncy" app they use to find her car, purse, keys, when she looses them. Her car was in her garage. But her purse and keys were somewhere in Utah county they couldn't immediately recognize.

As soon as the text came across, the text threads began within the family asking all the questions: Who is this guy? When did you last talk to Mamacita? Who saw her last? When?

Everyone in the family put their individual skills to work to find this guy and figure out where Mamacita was. The Girl asked her detective type friends to find legal--and sneaky--ways to locate W or his family so we could contact this guy, or at least figure out what was happening.

There was no response from the initial mysterious phone number when we first tried to reach out to him. No answers were coming from that end.

GG locked down Mamacita's finances. As her financial agent, he was able to move all her money to other accounts that she couldn't access with her debit card.

The Girl discovered that one of W's daughters and I had a mutual friend on Facebook. She also found a phone number to contact the daughter. The Girl made the first contact with his family. She explained that the daughter and I shared a mutual friend. She further explained that we had received a text notice about her father and The Girl's grandmother getting married next week, and we as a family were concerned because we have never heard of her dad and that grandma had dementia so the family was worried what was going on. The daughter, Shelly, was equally concerned. In fact, she was livid about her dad. Her mom had only passed away in March and he had already "proposed" to three other women...obviously nothing permanent occurred in those cases, but with Mamacita, her dementia situation made that all the more enraging to Shelly.

Shelly asked if she could call me and talk to me about the situation. The Girl was happy to pass that responsibility on. Shelly called me and we spoke at length about what had happened since her mom's passing. Her mom, who had cancer, had been the recipient of harsh treatment near the end o f her life at her dad's hand. She was really angry about that. W had apparently been on the hunt for another partner since even before his wife passed away. His children were not pleased.

In our discussion I learned that W had no financial stability and he was likely on the hunt for a "purse" as well as sex. When Shelly spoke to her dad, early the next morning, he was upset and told her to tell us (Mamacita's family) to keep our noses out of her life, that she didn't have dementia but she was just not cared for. When Shelly tried to disagree W told her Mamacita was right there, in his bed, right now, and she was just fine!

EW!

The next thing we knew was that the girls had discovered, using "find my friends" in their iPhones that Mamacita was at the hospital. So B called the hospital and told them they though their mom was there as a patient. Sure enough! She had been brought tot he ER for chest pains. She thought she was having a heart attack. Really it had been about a week that she'd been without her meds. At least W took her to the hospital! The girls raced there and B intercepted the cardiologist who got an earful of the situation. He was quick to side with the girls and sent W tot he waiting room. He had no legal authority in this case, and the girl--B and L--have been assigned Mamacita's medical power of attorney. The staff at the hospital got Mamacita settled and meds corrected and sent the girls home with her through the ambulance bay so W couldn't see them leave with her.

Back home the girls stayed with her and got her settled. Somehow Sister K got wind of things and she made it home--she had been on her way back already, having rethought her decision to move. Eventually that night all the girls were there together with Mamacita.

Meanwhile, we discovered that W had obtained a marriage license for them. We also learned that the license was valid for 32 days. We knew that she needed to get away from her regular life and get her away from W until we knew more and had better protections in place for her. I contacted our friend from the stake in PG that specialized in elder/family law and he got us started on an emergency guardianship. I also contact Auntie D who does trust work and got Mamacita's trust straightened out. Now we just had to wait out the 32 days.

Sisters B and K brought Mamacita to us on Nov 3rd. Having her with us meant that she was safe from W, but it also meant that we needed to be with her all day. I quickly found out that I could register Mamacita as a part-time resident with us to use the Senior Center for lunch as well as to take classes. OI found out she had the chance to go to line dancing. She loved that! So I took her twice a week to classes then to the center for lunch Tuesday-Friday. In the process we were invited to go to two other "private" line dancing classes on Thursday & Friday. She loved that. 

I was glad she was happy. But it was exhausting. During that day she watched every movie musical I could stream for her. She made lunch and helped GG make dinner. She was helpful and happy. She slept a lot though, and never once mentioned W or an impending wedding. That told me she wasn't aware of what had even happened in Springville.

We kept her with us even when we were having Quench-It training or working at the store all day. Some times she was happy to "help" with a  project. I had her bagging fruit for smoothies one day but her results wasn't exactly what we needed. But she was happy to help. Other times she would watch Netflix--again, movie musicals I could stream--in the office and we'd bring her the samples of things the kids were learning to make. Even after watching White Christmas over and over one day for 8 hours, she still didn't know what she had watched--or that she even HAD watched a movie. That part was sad.

The Quench-It kids were great though. They referred to her as "grandma" and they seemed to understand that the dementia was keeping her with us even when it looked boring to anyone who could see it. They were good sports about the added bonus "helper".

Finally the 32 days were up and W hadn't made any more attempts to locate Mamacita. Sister B came down for the weekend and she and BIL J took Mamacita home with them after church. I never appreciated the quiet of my own home before as much as I did that first day after she went home.

After the craziness that was the month of November, we ended up having an enjoyable time with Mamacita at our home. We enjoyed her company for Thanksgiving and had a lot of personal time with er--probably more than she would have otherwise enjoyed with us--but she was safe and relatively happy, even though she wasn't in her own home. Sister K ended up coming home and has agreed to be Mamacita's primary caregiver--I believe the other siblings are agreed on giving her a stipend to do that full time. The rest of us will still need to help K and give her the support and back up she will need as she helps Mamacita in that way.

I knew there were really weird and sad things in the world, I just never thought this kind of thing would happen in this family. We think we are well connected and stay in touch  fairly well. What would have happened if Mamacita DIDN'T have  an attentive family?! 

NOW OPEN!

 The Monday after Thanksgiving we started training with our Quench-It employees. I have 31 in total--mostly high schoolers, and a handful of older college age students. Not everyone is in school, and in December that doesn't really matter that much, honestly.

The franchisers were here for a week to lead the training. We had three sessions each day for three days. Then we were still waiting for our business license--which didn't even come for another week. We basically "practiced" on any car who thought to come in and try us. The kids got the practice of taking "real orders" but we couldn't take payment for them without the business license. That was an expensive week=--we were paying payroll AND giving away product without anything coming in. I was very nervous that I would bankrupt us with this stupid business proposition and Genius Golfer would give up on me all together.

The kids were great! I was so excited to get to know them better and see the fun combos of friends we were putting together to work. I have always liked high school kids in general--they make me laugh and I guess I am an over-grown 15 year old myself, so I just enjoy being with them. They are energetic and enthusiastic and awkward and unuse of themselves all at the same time. This is a similar feeling I had to teaching high school, without the pressure of assignments and long hours and parent-teacher conferences.

Our GRAND OPENING had been set originally for Dec. 10th as the new store in Syracuse was going to be opening on Dec. 17th--but when we didn't get our business license from the city in time, we opted to continue our "soft opening" another week and open simultaneously with Syracuse. The franchisors came down again to help that weekend--there were special things the franchise does at a grand opening that we didn't really know much about. There was a social media scavenger hunt, for example. Our GRAND OPENING day was Saturday December 17th and we had a special all day of half price drinks. We were SO busy with people coming in to try us out. They kids got a feeling for just how busy we could be! It was energizing and terrifying at the same time.

One really fun surprise that day was that GG's step mom-Grandma Jo-sent us a balloon delivery. It was a BIG helium filled balloon and a 12 foot arched set of three pieces of multiple balloons.  Never in a million years would I have thought of that! It was such a cool surprise.

It w as great day! It was  along day, a tiring day, a wonderful chance to meet new neighbors and customers and to really see a big chunk of the kids in action. It was gratifying to see people coming into try us out and to be finally able to take (partial) payment for the items we were selling.

It has now been a just over a months since we started the training process. We are not as busy as I had initially hoped, but I also am delighted that we can ease into things here and get busy as the weather warms up. We have had flashes of crazy and the feeling of being swamped--and that, in segments is REALLY fun. I am looking forward to warmer weather and more customers seeing us here and stopping in to get a drink or a treat. It has been fun to get to "know" some new friends as they stop by everyday--sometimes with their dogs, sometimes on their way to work.

This is going to be a fun new chapter for me. 

Good Things come to Those Who Wait, Right?

 Well, our Quench-It building is still not quite done, but we are SO close! I have 8 applicants today ready to be interviewed to work for us. The post has been private and sent only to kids who have reached out to me so far. Tomorrow I will make it public and hopefully we will get enough applicants to fill the roster of employees.

The waiting has been SO frustrating though. I know that I haven't ever been a very patient person, but this forced situation was completely out of my hands. I like to think I am in control of my life, but in reality it isn't at all. Like so many things I worry about, my worries are recreational so far as I cannot control them. Patience is a virtue I desperately need to develop but I have not wanted to ask God for patience because He will only send me more things to develop that attribute and I don't want anymore situation that need me to be patient about them.

On the upside, all this time--waiting and being frustrated--has helped me get my health in check as well as chip away at my weight. I'm still 10-15 pounds from where I'd like to be ideally but I am closer and I feel so much better. My thyroid is well in hand now and my other hormone issues--thanks, menopause!--are coming back to normal too. But that has been along and rather expensive process. I guess that is the gist of this whole year for us: a long and expensive process!

I am happy to report that I have made several good friend sin this ward and have loved to feel a part of a ward family again. I made the mistake of praying for friends--only to be called to be the Relief Society president in the ward. That is one way to make friends. Just wasn't what I had in mind--but the Lord has a wicked sense of humor. But I am grateful, regardless. I have come to love the sisters int eh ward and my testimony of the Savior and His atonement is only deepened as I serve Him. I also have come to learn how important my personal conversion and commitment is to my relationship with God. I am certainly blessed as I remain committed and converted. But my place with conversion and commitment is reaffirmed with acceptance of prophetic guidance and local direction. We do not have time to be worried about "how things were always done" if the prophet directs us differently, we need to get on that bus with him and forget the old ways. Goodness comes as we do that too.

One unexpected thing that has come of all the hurry up and wait along with the accompanying frustration and worry is that my relationship with Genius golfer has been strengthened too. He really is amazing and I cannot praise him enough for all he has done to not only support us financially while I have waited to open our business, btu all his dedication to see our building done right and correct and as close to budget and time frame as we hoped. He has figured out SO many problems--many that weren't really his problem to begin with--and has straightened them out himself. He is the real superhero in this experience.

Time for self reflection and growth isn't what I planned on when I started this year. But it is exactly what I have been given. I just hope I am progressing in my personal development as the Lord would have me--otherwise I have missed the purpose of my journey this year.

Time Flies...And So It Has! Let's Play Catch-Up

This past 18 months or so have been cRaZy! In April last year we purchased a squat of dirt and began the process of building a soda shop for the Quench-It franchise we bought into. Well, weeks shy of 18 months later and we are not quite done....

In that same time frame, I worked a ta office building with 44 individual suites where I managed the building for those tenants, ran the phones and mail, and basically covered whatever the issue was--from printed connections, to toilet clogs to a construction caused fire sprinkler emergency that left the basement flooded TWICE! Of and 20 more office suites were being added as I finished my reign there.

I learned a GREAT deal, made many new friends with the tenants and discovered there really wasn't much I couldn't do if I thought hard enough about it. But I haven't been sad to be away. That said, since our building WASN'T finished like we thought--or at least in the time frame we were hoping for--I will be subbing for the girl I trained to take my place the day after tomorrow. I think I can face that as I know it is for one day only.

Genius Golfer has been a ROCKSTAR as far as figuring out what, how, and where to adjust things for the building. He has done more manual labor than many of the subcontractors, I am sure!  He is such a stud!! I certainly wouldn't be doing this with out his incredible support and help and knowledge PLUS his willingness to just figure it out himself. Once we are open and it is passed to me, I hope I can do it as well as he has been these past many months!

The other BIG deal that has happened it that my dad died at the end of January. He got Covid and suddenly couldn't breathe on January 14th--just a day after fixing the neighbor's driveway gate for her and that day after their 58th wedding anniversary. Because of his kidney transplant 10 years ago now, he fell into that immunocompromised group. Seeing as he and mom didn't really seem to believe Covid was real (thanks, Fox News!), they refused to be vaccinated and therefore had no extra protection. He was in the hospital about 2 weeks with a steady and foreseeable decline--and died on Sunday, January 30th. I spoke with him Friday, the 28th for exactly 8 minutes and said all the things that mattered. I could tell he knew it was the last time he'd speak with me on earth. That was a harder day actually that the call that he was gone.

My sisters was there with my mom--but because of Covid restrictions neither could go in with him at the hospital. Mom and Sister had planned the funeral while I had taken the role of spokesman for the family as I shared each day of his illness and passing with the friends he had on Facebook. The daily updates were answered with SO MUCH love and concern for him and for each of us. Dad and mom agreed they felt prayers holding them up and the comfort from those prayers and love was tactile.

The Girl and I spoke at the funeral on Feb. 8th. The Gilroy chapel was full and the cultural hall was nearly 3/4th the way full too. So many people came to say goodbye to dad and to share the impact he made in their lives. It was astounding to hear some of the things I hadn't even a clue about from the people that felt Dad's influence. It was the most exhausting day since our wedding--but it was so filled with love. I wouldn't have been anywhere else.

It has been an adjustment without him though. Every once in a while I still have a question or thought pop into my mind and think "I should call Dad and tell him..." before I remember that I can't. But the memories are comforting and I'll always have those.

And today, Queen Elizabeth II was laid to rest after dying 10 days ago at the age of 96. While I realize that I have no connection to her--I'm not a Brit, I am not a royalist or a monarchist, I certainly have LOVED the UK and quite rightly, I believe, think of the Queen as one of the last true public servants. She committed herself to serve her country for the whole of her life--at the cost of quite a bit of "normal" life--and did just that without ever giving her view as policy or demand her way as her ancestors might have in previous reigns. 

I've thought a lot about how in America we cannot even get elected officials to serve faithfully and dutifully without seeking personal gain and power mongering. Yet, this little lady was never in the original line to be a monarch and yet, when things played out that she ended up Queen, she really did the best she know how and kept doing it to the very end.

She was a calm, even, steady presence who knew she was the "face" of England, the UK, and the Commonwealth and just kept on keeping on. Our political leaders and elected officials could learn many things from her life of dutiful service and sacrifice. Here's hoping they do.

Christmas Catch Up...

This is the Family Christmas Letter we included I included in our Christmas cards I sent out this year. Since this is the most information anyone would have had from us this year, I thought I'd include it here too as a record of our 2021.

Our BIG news is a big move! After giving my notice at the Hyundai dealership to focus on my health last December, we thought: “What we were still doing in Pleasant Grove with our kids grown, in more house than we need, & facing cold weather during the winter when we have a permanent option to move south to our home in St. George?” It was a short conversation. We started the move the week of Christmas.

We moved gradually. Genius Golfer did the heavy work. I was still working to regain my energy levels from some long-haul Covid fatigue issues. In mid-March we got serious and packed what we wanted to take, took about 3 trailer loads to donate, and we filled a 20-yard dumpster with junk and food storage that we neither had room for in StG or was too old to want to keep. THAT was a chore! It really was wild to discover how much “stuff” we had held on to that really, we didn’t use or need. I only wish he had become minimalists sooner!

We put the house on the market at the end of March and had it sold in about a week. The rumors of cash-offers for thousands over asking price wasn’t our reality, but we got what we wanted for it and felt it was a fair deal even in this CRAZY housing market.

It was terribly sad to leave our wonderful neighbors and beloved friends in Pleasant Grove, especially after 26 years there. But it was the right move at the right time. We said goodbye to the home where we raised our kids and grew together as a family and learned a lifetime’s worth of lessons. In the end, we had no regrets and have brought many, many fond memories with us to Southern Utah.

Shortly after selling our home in PG, we finally found a piece of commercial property in StG for a business opportunity we have been working ourselves into. One of our goals when we decided to move down here is to invest in ourselves and build a business that I can run and put toward our retirement future. I’ve always enjoyed teenagers and thought a soda shack would be right up my alley. We had watched our friends open a franchise for the company “Quench-it!” and thought it would be the right fit for us too. We had been looking initially for a place to lease for over 6 months—even before our move—but nothing had been available. The sale of the PG house gave us an unmatched opportunity to buy a piece of land and be our own landlords. We found a great location and purchased it in April. There has been a LOT of behind-the-scenes work to get ready to build but we are getting closer. We submitted the application for a building permit this week! We hope to build by the first of the year and have our grand opening just as school lets out for the summer here. Tune in to next year’s Christmas letter to see how it all goes!

I started a job as an office building manager for a 40-suite office building in late April. I am using my PTA skills, mom-skills, and basic common sense (that, come to find out, isn’t so basic…) to solve problems for the tenants there. It isn’t a big career move but a good place holder until our business is ready to open. In June I was called to serve as president of our congregation’s Relief Society—the women’s organization locally, with 185 women to whom I serve and minister. GG continues to work from home for Yahoo/Edgecast as part of the recently purchased Verizon Digital Media group. He’s doing the same stuff, but under a new name this year. He serves as our congregation’s technology specialist. GG made his first HOLE IN ONE this year and was very excited about that!

The other JOY of being here is to be closer to The Boy and Bonus Girl. They celebrate their 2nd wedding anniversary this December. They continue to plug away at their work. The Boy just made the move to the behavioral medicine floor from the Cardio-vascular unit in preparation for (fingers crossed) his Nurse Practitioner grad school program he is hoping to get into next fall. Bonus Girl is working at Southwest Spine & Pain, a local clinic that lets her use her phlebotomy certificate and is training her to be a medical assistant while she is also chipping away at her GE classes for Nursing school at Dixie State here in town. They bring over our “grand-pup” Stella to play and we get to see them regularly for Sunday dinners. Genius Golfer has been teaching Bonus Girl to golf and soon she might beat them all!

The Girl has just moved to Phoenix with the FBI and we are thrilled she is only 6 hours away rather than three days! She recently finished an intense training program at Quantico in October and is making great moves in her career. She loves what she does and loves the “service to country” that comes with work in the bureau. She leaves some wonderful friends in West Virginia but we know she’ll find additional friends in Arizona.

We rejoice in this special time of year to “ideally” slow down, reflect on our many blessings and look forward to celebrating the Savior’s birth with the world at Christmas time. We love Him and cannot imagine our lives without His gospel to guide us and His love and grace to sustain us. We wish you and your families the very best this Christmas season and a healthy, happy New Year in 2022.

I'm On the Highway to Hell

I am not at all sure how I get myself into such predicaments. But I always do. It seems that I offend on every turn. this seems to apply equally to my family and those I work with and the sisters I serve in Relief Society. That, and the fact that I have nearly wished the demise of  my former brother in law, have quite rightly insured I will be going to hell. I'm already to book my ticket. It is overdue.

My mom recently wrote of her hurt feelings about getting word that her letters are not appreciated in the way they are intended. I know she uses them as her journal and she records her feelings as they are. This blog has a similar purpose to me. And yet I have offended her in my perceptions and once again, have shown myself ungrateful.

I am upset that I hurt her feelings most of all. And that is what has earned me a seat in the proverbial handbasket that will take me to hell. At least that is the beginning of the end this month.

I have offended some of the ladies at church by speaking my mind without all the niceties and public politeness. While I spoke truth, I also spoke without enough generosity and thoughtfulness. It is something that seems to happen more and more the older I get.

In my current role as relief society president this is a significantly unfortunate since I am supposed to be the one to love and accept each of these ladies as my sisters. This affront will allow me to make my seat selection on the handbasket seating arrangements.

This past week we got word that my former brother in law collapsed from Covid ad was rushed to the hospital locally and is currently in the ICU on a ventilator. My boss walked up behind me reading the obituaries one afternoon at work and I ultimately had to reveal that I was searching for his name and that I has kind of hoped to find it there. While I do love my nephews, and would be sad for their loss if their dad died, I also had a feeling that, finally, karma could have worked her magic in our favor.

If I continue at this rate, I'll have a bench named after me on the highway to hell--handbasket or not. Yet, in the moment the feelings were what I felt, they were not kind and they were not charitable and they weren't thoughtful. And those are the things I SHOULD be seeking to become.

I'd like to promise that I will make things right across the board, but I have learned from past mistakes that words said, or written, or expressed in any way cannot be withdrawn. I have to ask forgiveness and promise to do better. And that promise of doing better is the stickler. I can't seem to curb my tongue or bend my thoughts or even take care of how I am responding to others. Maybe this is why some of my favorite literary characters are those who have the same issues--yet I am not learning to overcome my similar shortcomings by reading of their misadventures.

Practice makes perfect, they say. But imperfect practice just leads to poor performance and bad habits. Let's hope I can get better. It may require divine intervention.