just blue
2 September 2014
may be it is time I start figuring out for myself who I am and what I’m not. I’ve been running away from confronting myself for far too long. what I’ve become, I no longer know…
that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and lands
on forests and sands
makes the beautiful world that you see
in the morning
where have i all gone?
14 August 2014have i long lost the ability to feel or understand what emotions are? does that have an effect on my memory? it seems that in the past few years of growing up, i have learnt to think less and less. i am becoming such a robot. i am hollow inside.
20 July 2014
“After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn…
With every goodbye you learn.”
— Veronica Shoffstall, “Comes the Dawn”
there is a buzzing but there is emptiness
19 July 2014every place here brings back a memory of what once was…
28 June 2014
School’s out. i can only say i’m content; pretty satisfied with what came out of this year, school wise. afterall i don’t really have anything else. now the bubble’s kinda broken, will have to deal with more shit, more pressure and more stress next year. but till then, it’s time to settle my own life.
the growing up never stops.
“I may never be happy, but tonight I am content. Nothing more than an empty house, the warm hazy weariness from a day spent setting strawberry runners in the sun, a glass of cool sweet milk, and a shallow dish of blueberries bathed in cream. When one is so tired at the end of a day one must sleep, and at the next dawn there are more strawberry runners to set, and so one goes on living, near the earth. At times like this I’d call myself a fool to ask for more…”
–Â Sylvia Plath
23 June 2014
through all this exhibition work it is quite clear how selfish and self-important people are. they need to learn that their existence and the work they do don’t fucking matter in this world. and be more professional, less personal, but not disengaged. if you can’t work with people then this is probably the wrong career.
a millennial present 
