The Small, Simple Things

Another year has slipped past and yet our lameness of not being able to get a Christmas card pulled together and sent off persists.  There is not a single thing in the entire world we can blame this on other than ourselves, and while I am tempted to just not do anything to commemorate the passing of another year a family life, looking fondly at our 2013 family pictures this week persuaded me otherwise.

In so many ways this year is just like the others, children growing, learning, alternately charming and horrifying us with the things they do and say.  And yet it also felt like a landmark year.  Somehow we are starting to graduate from a family of all little kids to a family with little kids and a kind of big one.  We started real school this year- kindergarten-  and for the first time I did not have all four of my little chicks in the nest. 

Louis (6) had a big year of growing up.  He learned to ride a bike and surf all in the same month.  He started kindergarten this year at Hauula Elementary School’s Hawaiian Immersion program and loves it.  I don’t think he really loves his extra English homework and reading with Mom every day after school, but his love of his class inspires him to do it with minimal complaint.  He still loves all creeping and climbing creatures and loves to climb himself.  Just last month I found him at the top of the light pole on our street which he had shimmied up with his bare hands and feet- a height taller than a two story building!  I was shocked and worried but he assured me he “does this all the time”.  At least we know he can climb to get coconuts whenever we are in need. 

At 4 ½ Elsie is our resident fashionista and diva, constantly worrying about the fanciness of her outfit and making several outfit changes a day (oh the laundry we have!).  She currently loves the movie Frozen and has committed the entire ‘Let it Go’ song to memory, performing it to the instrumental version only to just about anyone who will give her an audience.  We have been doing Joy School with some other families this year and she is a huge fan.  She adores make-up, finger nail polish and basically all things girly- coincidentally some of my least favorite things.  I am learning as a Mom to let her be her own person and not force her to be a tom-boy.  I am proud to report that she is not afraid of dirt, worms or big nasty toads that she and Louis constantly try to catch and play with, so I suppose I’m not doing too bad. 

Pearl (3) is in an adorably feisty phase of life, where we all equally adore and fear her.  She has earned the nickname Tigress and it is well earned.  Any day that I have to wake her up before she has gotten up on her own I feel like we’re playing Russian Roulette- she could open her eyes and smile with a ‘I love you Mommy!’ or start screaming at the top of her lungs to ‘Get out of my room!’.  She is a very vocal little girl with strong vocal chords and a will to match them.  She does not get pushed around and loves to play superheroes, house, princesses and Ninjago with her older siblings.  She also loves dirt and being outside.  She constantly tries to sneak over to her Grandma’s house next door and loves shepherding Charlie, the only in the house that she can even try to boss around.

In October Charlie turned 1 and he is the light that makes our world go round.  I know, I know it is so cliché, but he really is.  He is happy and independent, always trying to keep up with the other kids.  He has an adorable smile and disarming grin and we all adore him.  He loves shoes and would wear them to bed if I let him.  Unfortunately this kid doesn’t really like anyone except his immediate family, so no one else really gets to see his true charm.  After four months of spending two afternoons a week with his Papa Faustino he finally loves him too and he now does not cry upon spotting his Grandma, but that is about all the progress that has been made.    

As for James and I we still manage to keep up with the housework, pay the bills, keep the kids fed and somewhat safe.  I stopped working for the Boston-based consulting firm I’d been with for a while in January and am now teaching one class at BYU.  James is still at BYU Hawaii and is now traveling more with his job, this fall finishing up a three country tour of Tonga, Fiji and Samoa.  We celebrated our 10^th anniversary this week and are looking forward to our first solo trip without kids when I tag a long on a work trip to Taiwan in March, the country I served my mission in 15 years ago. 

Definitely one of the highlights of my year was attending the Oberg Family Reunion in Bear Lake, Idaho the first few days of July.  I have been meaning to write about this experience more in depth, but I have struggled to find words appropriate to how it made me feel to be there.  I am not a writer to begin with and then trying to describe my feelings and emotions that I felt in that three days has put me completely at a loss of how to represent it. 

Most people who know are family have heard the ridiculous back-story of my Grandpy Oberg, but the day before he was to get on an airplane to go to the reunion he drove a riding lawn mower off of a four foot drop.  For the day all of us were uncertain as to his prognosis (a fall that big is bad for anyone, much less an 88-year old man) and almost certain we would not see him at the reunion.  It gave us a time to reflect on what he meant to us and made us all the more grateful when we found out he miraculously only broke his collarbone and a few ribs and then even more miraculously clawed his way out of the hospital and onto a plane to make the reunion. 

When I pulled up to the Inn we were staying at I saw my Aunt Linda and cousin Eric mundanely unloading gear from their car and I nearly burst into tears.  My heart felt that full the entire time I was there. 

There was not a particular event that necessarily touched me while I was there as much as it was the overwhelming feeling of love.  My family is not perfect, that is certain.  Oberg’s love to argue just for the sake of a good argument and that reunion was loud as many of us have inherited a very distinct decibel and pitch to our voice when talking about any subject.  But I was filled with so much awe for the goodness of my grandparents and how that simple, everyday sort of goodness has filtered down into the lives of 120 plus members of their family.  I was filled with gratitude for their simple, yet significant lives, for their strong and evolving marriage relationship and for the small acts of love they have continually bestowed on me and all the members of my family. 

One of my favorite authors as a child, Laura Ingalls Wilder put it well, “I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.” Unfortunately this is a lesson that I continually seem to need to learn and then promptly forget.  The big trips and huge surprises are not what is significant in our little family, but it is the times when I am so tired I want to curl in a ball and sleep the afternoon away but instead rouse myself for a round of cookie making, or James throws himself into a made-up and horrific game of Pokeman cards when he would rather be watching football.  That is what I hope I take away from 2013 and the Oberg family reunion, that a life of significance comes not from a grand event or great life accomplishments but from simple and consistent acts of goodness as we go about our lives. 

And here’s to hoping that 2014 is another great year filled with family and friends and more of enjoying the ‘sweet, simple things of life’. 

Hauula Beach

The beach is most definitely the highlight of living where we do.  We spend lots of short afternoon trips playing in the surf, trips to Kahana Bay so the kids can fish at the little river area and most recently Louis has started surfing.

A few times a year we get a super low tide and you can walk way out on the reef at Hauula Beach Park and find tons of cool and slimy creatures.  Its one of the kids favorite things to do when the tides align with Dad being home from work.  

Our favorite tree at Hauula Beach and the reef at low tide.

  

 Louis has started surfing this summer and is surprisingly fearless.  He gets up on his own now pretty easily and makes it look so easy, when I know it is not!

 Pearl thinks she's big enough to surf, so James took her out last Saturday.  She didn't make is too far but she kept trying even when she kept on getting dumped.  She is definitely our water baby.

 Things do get a little crowded on surfing trips.... 

Life is Good

I don't think its a secret that when we first moved to Hawaii, I wasn't in love with my life here.  I moved from my beloved Boston when Pearl was just seven weeks old and had my only and fairly bad case of postpartum depression.  I literally had only one friend that first year and I was just in this awful rut.  I was stuck emotionally, physically-- just everything.  It was one of the tougher years of my life.  I wasn't sure that I was so ready to settle down and live in Hawaii for the rest of my life.

Fast forward to 2013 and I am officially in love with our life here in little Hauula.  I love the year round beach trips, biking everyday around our quiet dead end street, our close proximity to James' parents, James' 5 minute commute to work and my new more local work at a Ranch nearby.  This year we all have been really, really happy and life is good.  

I've also finally actually sat down at the computer long enough to download and post the pictures my Mom has been asking about forever.  So here's a little bit of what we've been up to this year.  

Elsie loves dressing up, and finally got a superhero costume to play with Louis.  She loves it way more than this picture shows.

Pearl thinks she is Charlie's personal babysitter.  This is a great and terrifying situation.  

The kids got to ride horses at Gunstock Ranch at their Easter Egg Hunt.  They are all smitten ad think they need a horse now.

Louis introduced us into our first May Day Experience.  He was Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid and was really excited to perform.  

He was so excited that he couldn't stop waiving at us in the stands.  Literally, could not stop- the teacher had to pretty much escort him off the gym floor because he kept on stopping to wave at us every three steps.

Elsie turned four in June.  She was so excited for her little family party and loved being the center of attention.  Elsie is still a little firecracker- but she's also so tender with her younger siblings and is always telling James and I how much she loves us.  The other day she told me "Mom, when I grow up I will never forget you.  I will always remember you."  

WARNING: You never know what your husband will do with your kids when your away for 8 days.  

I am definitely saving these pictures for a future blackmailing.

Louis started kindergarten last week.  He was so excited to finally be a big school boy... and then last week he told me school is just way too long.  But since he has to have all his homework done before he gets any screen time so there has been no complaining about that (yet)

And Elsie started a parent coop style preschool called Joy School.  I don't have to teach for four weeks, but I'm still a little terrified to teach six little ones seeing as I have no child education experience whatsoever, I hear from every one who has tried Joy School that it can be really fun.  We arranged ours so that they eat their lunch there, and Elsie thinks that makes it real school.

Charlie is a little gem- for me at least.  He is a total Momma's boy but when I'm with him he's happy, independent and funny.  He LOVES waffles and laughs almost the whole time he eats one.  He's been crawling since six months and is fast and destructive.  He loves to follow his siblings and watch them play.  

And for the record, having four little kids is AWESOME.  I thought when we had Charlie that I would be totally overwhelmed (kinda like when I had Pearl :)), but it has not been the case at all.  Louis is so helpful with the younger ones now.  He has chased down Pearl when she is running away and holds her while I catch up lugging Charlie's large carseat and a plodding Elsie and almost potty trained Pearl for me.  Pearl is much more independent than my other kids at her age and always just wants to play with the big kids.  There are some days where the volume is out of control and chaos reigns, but overall James and I both give the four young kids thing a big two thumbs up.  We heart them.

Don't you love the go-cart James made for the kids?  Its a large mattress box taped to a long board.  It held up for a full after noon and was pushed to the tune- "Jamiacan Bobsled Team" substituted with Hauula Bobsled Team.  Awesome.  

A New Year

New Year's Resolutions for the Facebook / Instagram / Blogging World

I make resolutions every year.  I love them.  But most of the time they are too private for me to put out there and want to share with the rest of the world.

There is one area of my life that I think could stand some major improvement- my time spent on blogging / instagram / facebook.  To help make this a better year for me, I suggest the following of everyone who uses those mediums to decrease my overall annoyance level when I read your posts (disclaimer: there are of course exceptions to all these resolutions and I still love you if you break all of them)

1) Food Pics.  Stop posting pics of what you eat people!  Even at super nice restaurants.  Unless you post a recipe, then I appreciate seeing what it looks like.  Or you are at a restaurant that was featured on Man vs. Food and you just ordered the food challenge.  Then I'll be impressed.  Otherwise its ridiculous.

2) Vomit / bowel movements (or lack there of) / Other Disgusting bodily functions.  I'm sorry your sick.  I'm sorry your kid is sick.  I've been there and it sucks.  But making me read about where or how they threw up or you threw up or when there is mucosa in your throat is just going to make me even sicker!!!!

3) How hot your husband / wife is.  Chances are, I think mine is hotter.  Let's not start that argument.  Keep your lovey dovies to yourself.

4) Political posts and rants.  It just doesn't change any one's mind....ever.  Even if you think the one you are going to post is a real zinger.  It doesn't change minds, it just makes the opposition madder, makes the neutrals think your a little cuckoo and the ones on your side nod their head in agreement.

5) Eating logs.  There is no part of me that finds posts like these interesting.  "Power oatmeal for breakfast!  With berries on top- yummo!", "Delicious homemade sammy for lunch.  I love sprouts on wheat!" or "Quinoa with cedar plank salmon for dinner- thanks Bobby Flay!" just make me want to stab my eyes out.  And no, its not because I'm jealous of your food, we eat good around these parts.

6) Huge baby hair bows on a baby girls' head.  This really isn't for me- its for them.  They are going to have back and neck problems for the rest of their lives.  Save the babies!  (Tina, I'm totally talking to you :) )

7) Exercise Logs.  OK, this one is for me.  You are just making me feel lazy.

8) And this one Needs.No.Explanation.  Please stop.... for the good of our country. I.Beg.You.

Really, most of my friends and family don't do this.  Just some people on my facebook that I never talk to and probably need muted / deleted anyway.  And lest you think I'm the meanest person ever, this is what I do want to see more of this year on facebook / Instagram / Blogs:

1) More pics of you and your cute kids.  I miss my friends!

2) Funny things your kids (or you) say and do.

3) News about babies, moves, jobs, etc.

4) More good advice when I'm trying to purchase something.  I made an blender decision in 2011 based on facebook advice.  I think I might be looking for a food processor later this year and will need some more recommendations.

and most importantly

5) When you are coming to Hawaii to visit us.

The Score Has Been Evened

This time I got everything I always envisioned labor and delivery was, just like on TV.  With each of my previous babies I’ve been admitted to the hospital before labor started and although I’ve never had to have any Pitocin or real strong induction techniques, my entire labor was in a hospital setting.  It wasn’t bad, I just had always had these visions of being at home, wondering when to head in to the hospital,  the drive there, all that good stuff.

Anyway, my due date was Friday the 19^th and no surprise that it came and went without any fanfare.  I’m used to being late so at my midwife appointment I made all the non stress tests, additional appointments and talked about what had worked for me before when I was two weeks overdue since I assumed I’d be waiting for quite a while longer.  The weekend seemed long and I felt heavy and bulky, but hey, who doesn’t at 40 weeks pregnant!

Monday morning (October 22nd) a little before 4 am I woke with a pretty strong contraction.  Convinced it would fade away like all the others had, I went back to sleep.  They kept coming for an hour and finally when I couldn’t sleep anymore I got up and started to clean my nasty house (like I said, I was tired on Sunday!).  As they got closer and closer, instead of being concerned I just started cleaning faster between each one.  After 45 minutes of this I finally started timing them because it seemed like I could hardly get one thing put away before the next contraction came.  I quickly realized they were already four minutes apart and getting closer.  Discovering that it was almost six o’clock and going into Honolulu rush hour traffic I quickly woke James and we decided to get going to the hospital before it was too late.

I won’t bore you with all the rest of the details, but the short story is the first half of the hour car ride was easy and pretty peaceful.  Halfway there my water broke (see, I told you- just like in TV!) and all of the sudden it was like a tornado hit- contractions were all of the sudden hard and close together.  By the time we were pulling up to the hospital we had to go straight to the ER door.  No one was very concerned how close I was to delivery and the TV drama continued with James getting very ‘stern’ with our intake nurse about how close I was and begging them to just call labor and delivery so we could go straight up.   They finally listened to us when I told them I was going to drop a baby on their floor in a few minutes and got them to take us up.  Our boy was born about 20 minutes after making into our delivery room after a few quick pushes at 7:31 in the morning, just three and a half hours after I felt my first contraction.  

It was a boy!  We knew Louis would be so excited to have a brother and it’s a good way to go out- two boys and two girls.  He was 8lbs and 10 oz and 21 inches long.  Lots of hair like everyone else, but we couldn’t (and still can’t) tell if he really looks like another sibling.  He’s got his own look.  We named him Charles Thomas Ho’omaluhia Faustino.  Charles (Chuck) is my Dad’s name and for some reason I just really, really, really wanted to name this baby after my Dad.  Louis is named after James’ beloved Grandpa Faustino and I just wanted our two boys to have two strong, good, kind males as their namesakes.  We’re still going back and forth between calling him Charles and Charlie.  We’ll see what sticks.  Thomas is James’ first name, his Grandpa Selfaison’s  name and my great Grandpa Duncan’s name.  Ho’omaluhia means peace maker.  We had some other Hawaiian names we were considering, but James wanted a name with that meaning.  We need some more peacemakers in our house- we’ve got enough (myself included) that like to stir the pot!

The kids came to meet him that night, and I will let the video clip of them tell the story of their excitement…..

We came home the day after he was born to the chaos of having four very young children, but really it hasn’t been as bad as I had envisioned, or even as bad as when we brought Pearl home.  Louis and Elsie are really helpful and Pearl is not having a terrible adjustment period like Elsie did.  Of course the house is messier than usual and I am tired all the time, but that is just to be expected.

And now because I’m running out of time to write the rest, I’m going to post an excerpt from my journal I wrote during that first week.  It is more personal than I usually share and I get embarrassed showing emotion, but I think a new baby warrants the sap. 

“….I will never feel a baby kicking inside of me or the extreme discomfort of fitting an 8lbs baby in my stomach, but it is so beyond bittersweet.  I am ready to move on with our growing family…. but oh, a baby!  They are so amazing, sweet and beautiful.  My first one was so confusing and seemingly so tiresome.  I wanted James to help so much.  Sometimes it seemed almost a little boring just to be with baby all day and night long.  By Pearl I knew better.  I knew it was going to go fast and I loved every minute.  But it was all marred by the chaos of moving, not having our own place for a while and the postpartum stuff.  Her birth was hard and recovery was hard.  So though I loved her being a newborn, it was muddled and I didn’t get to cherish everything about it.

This time I am setting down the dishes and the cleanup and just snuggling him this first week.  Right now James and the kids are at the trunk or treat and he is sleeping in the swing.  The living room is a wreck and yet I just want to write instead of worrying.  I want to remember this last time, because I don’t have a chance to do that again…..”

“I find it interesting how they hand you this squalling baby and you know nothing about him / her.  Not how to help them, hold them comfort them- they are a stranger to you.  That whole first day, though I think they are cute and are glad they are here, I usually don’t feel this overwhelming connection with the baby for the first little while.  Charlie was the same.  I felt like strangers just meeting and I was a little worried.  As we settled in for the night I was absolutely exhausted and fell straight asleep.  But somewhere between 3 and 6 am while getting up to feed him and holding him in the dead of the night with no one else around, I fell in love- and nothing will be the same again.”

“I can’t help but be so nostalgic and sad about this being my last baby.  This nestly, cuddly, needy newborn phase is going to fly.  As I write it is already Sunday and my magic week of newborness, my LAST week of magic newborness is gone tomorrow.  James goes back to work, Charlie is going to start changing magically overnight and life will go on.  I wish, I so wish there was some way to bottle up this memory and time so that someday when they are grown and gone I can crawl back into that memory and feel his breath on my neck, his tiny hands gripping mine and his soft hair underneath my chin.  These moments of welcoming life are the most spiritual, magic moments I know and I am truly, truly going to miss them.  I will miss the magical, primal hours of giving birth, of feeling something so much larger than yourself take over your body.  I will miss all the surprises of gender, when and where they will be born.  There is so much anticipation and excitement with welcoming a new baby that just isn’t present anywhere else in life.  It has been an awesome ride and I’m glad I had four so that as each one came I’ve learned how to let go of the stress and petty stuff and just enjoy the magic.  I feel like this fourth time, I might have finally got the enjoying part right….”