Why I do what I do

I hope the picture says it all on the subject on why I am so mad about Ventures. We live in a world where positioning to get somewhere else is becoming increasingly important. Sometimes to the point where we forget to appreciate what we have today.

The mountain teaches us that getting there is just as important as the end point. Character is not measured by the awards you wear and is typically unseen but greatly felt.

Nice to be back

It's strange to be back after two years. I guess I have time this CNY to do some reflection and did some accounting of my life and to be honest I really cannot remember doing anything significantly worthwhile since I was last here.

It is almost six years soon of my time in my current posting and it will soon be time to make a major decision on where to next. But I will come to that in my next post.

What I want to share today is this feeling of waking up with a fear that I do not really know God. Like I know what He's about, I even know what He's like, but I do not really know Him. It saddens me somewhat after so many years that I feel this way but at least I am glad that I have what's left of my life to know Him all over again.

That God has been patient with me wandering far in my work and other commitments and losing the first love that I had I am very thankful for. It has been so long and until today I did not realize that my heart has grown cold. It dawns on me that I am doing some work purportedly for God with efficiency but no real passion anymore.


I am thankful that He wakes me just in time before I make all the wrong decisions.

End of first semester

It has been a tiring two terms but thank God for the June holiday. I am going off to chaperon 4 Year 5 students on their Future Problem Solving Competition from 28th May to 6th June 2008. I have not been to Michigan before so it will be a welcome break. So for those who pray, do keep us in prayer as we will be on our own for a few days and so pray that God will grant us safe passage and a great time.

An item to give thanks for. Well, we finally got the CF mission trip to Cambodia finally coming together. We are putting it from 29th November 2008 to 6th December 2008. Pray that the Lord will give us wisdom as we get there. Pray also for Joel who is planning the mission trip. I encourage all Year 4s and 5s to consider coming for the trip.

Kingdom of God

As I am doing my reflection for today on my blog, the CFers are going through their prayer walk which will end at 2 am today. I am glad that I am here. Though many things are uncertain in life, what I do know is that I wont go wrong if I do things that pleases God.

What pleases God is when He is glorified and His people are edified. These days I look at these two yardsticks as a measure of what success in life or ministry really means to me. I do not really care about little else.

The Lord is my refuge and I shall not be in want. We are at His mercy and if it pleases Him to see lives changed through His work in the CF, I will continue this work and rejoice.

The Lord is my fortress and my shield. He built this ministry and He shall see it through. By faith I know that His plans for this ministry is secure and no plan to thwart it shall prevail. I am at peace knowing that God is in control and He is the final judge and arbiter of all things.

The Lord gives and the Lord shall take away. It saddens me to see so many futile efforts to manipulate ministry work. The truth is, we cannot make the ministry better. We can only be faithful in service. The harvest does not belong to any of us. We are just stewarts and we ought to remember that always. It is God and His might that does it. We are just in for the ride.

The Lord searches hearts. It has been a tiring, exhilirating and sometimes hertbreaking ride. But let us build this house on the rock and not on sinking sand. Glory be to God in the highest and may His name be exalted forever. Let all men know Him and draw near.

Everything else pales in comparison.

Dry spell

I am not sure why it took me so long to get back to blogging. The last time I blogged was about 9 months ago. I had given up the discpline of penning down my thoughts which were probably too mundane and trivial to pen down in any case.

But I made a mistake of making my blog my homepage for my web browser and so I am constantly reminded of my blog everytime I surf the net. I tell myself that I should do something about this sorry state of affair. Leaving it unfinished and dangling in mid-air does not do anyone good.

After much soul-searching, I came to the conclusion that I wont kill my blog. Nevermind it has been in a coma for months. Nevermind if nobody visits it anymore. It is a place of refuge for my thoughts and that's all that matters to me.

I wish I have one thing to focus on when I write. But the truth is, my mind races down many different winding paths. I find it really hard to pin down any worthwhile thought to share. There is also this frustration that life is really getting nowhere. It scares me to think that I may sit down to write a post and find myself with little to write. Not writing spares me the agony of facing up to this horrifying reality that my life has no real purpose.

The most fearsome in life is not the thought of dying but that of living with no direction. I see my days unwinding with sure precision and countless sunsets which rob me of time and youth, but yet no satisfaction of life. I see students come and go, hopefully to better things in life, but I stay the same.

In my waning optimism I had once hoped that life would have more purpose and that I could be a part of a grand design. These days I am resigned to my place in life in which I have little control over. I have learnt to appreciate the little joys that come my way and grit my teeth when life deals me a tough hand.

To some extent I do emphatize with the horse in the novel Animal Farm. At the end of the day, we will all be sold for glue and to the very last breath be useful to someone else.

Not so bad

I am secretly glad that the week begins with common test. At least I can ease back into teaching and get much of the admin work behind me. With two weeks of common test, that is a lot of time to use effectively so I am not planning to let it go to waste.

Time to get all the marking done so that we can focus on preparing students for the IB exam.

The PDA has proven very useful in getting my appointments right. Now I dont have to waste useful braincells too trying to remember unnecessary stuff. The reminder option does that for me and I am so happy.

One of the year 6 students told me that I stopped teaching last year. That was kind of discouraging considering that I did prepare a lot of notes for them. Well I do not claim to be the best teacher in the world but I do strongly believe that the best kind of learning happens when students work out the issues for themselves.


I am here to support them should they need help, but very few have actually arranged for small group consultation. I really leave it to them to decide if they need help as they have different needs and learning style. They are in year 6 and are old enough to decide for themselves what to do I guess.

Not my best 2 days with technology

You know, I had been very unlucky with storage devices. My 1 G mini SD card was corrupted when I slotted it into my Dopod and I had to get a replacement all the way at IMM. Now my new laptop battery, which charged correctly the first time round, now refuse to charge beyond 43% after 8 hours. Now I have to drive all the way to Sim Lim to get it fixed. 2 wasted trips...

On a more positive note, I went to catch fantastic four at 9.35 pm. It was pretty entertaining I thought. The next movies in line will be transformers and harry potter. That is, if I can find the time to watch them when term starts.

On yeah, for any of my students from 5.3 reading this, remember there is a revision mathematics seminar from 8 am to 6 pm on the 22nd June which will be held at your classroom. Details and worksheets for you to prepare on LMS. Get cracking!

Have not been here a long time

June holiday and yet so much to do still. But still there is a lot to give thanks for. A little break is still refreshing. It was also good that I signed up to help in the year 5 WOW project and got to know many of the students I did not teach.

Too bad I lost my phone due to my own carelessness. I promptly replaced my SIM card with the same number and got myself a nice DOPOD D810. Worth every dollar spent. Now I can suft the net and also check my sms at the same time. Too bad using the phone for talking is a little awkward. I think i will invest in a bluetooth hands-free set, though I think that is a little ah-beng for my liking... must find something small and discrete.