Christmas planning

Dear Self,

Christmas this year was very stressful, to the point of exhaustion.  Eventually I began to feel relaxed and enjoyed the season.  I want to remember the things that helped and what didn’t so I can do it better next year. 

First what I did right.  We decorated before Thanksgiving.  A week or two before I think.  I was afraid of decorating too soon for fear that I would be sick of the décor before the holiday came.  That never happened.  It was just nice to have the Christmas decorations up all through the season. 

Second good thing, I gave gifts of treats to my co-workers early.  I didn’t have to worry about them thinking I was giving them something because they had given me something; I just wanted them to know how much I appreciated them early in the season.  They were small gifts and set a precedent in the office of just giving something to let them know you are thinking of them.

Third thing that I do right is give each child $20 per other person in the family to do their own Christmas shopping, and have them go shopping with each other.  That way I don’t influence their decisions and they learn to think of the other people in the family and how to budget their money.  They can also choose to go in with another brother to buy something that costs a little more than they have. 

From there it got stressful.  I organized my gifts list for my kids, so they would all get the same amount, but it was still so stressful trying to figure out if someone needs more of this or that… if a child will be upset that all he got for Christmas was clothes.  I recognized as I was shopping that I would see things that I know they would like and that I wanted them to have, but I wouldn’t  buy these things other times of the year because I am trying to be responsible with my money, and not spoil my kids.  However at Christmas you want your kids to get everything they want and to have a glut of “stuff” that they don’t get any other time of year, because that is the “magic” of Christmas.   I got to be so crazy that I didn’t even like Christmas any more. I think the gift buying and contemplating is the worst part of Christmas each year.  So next year I will let the kids know that we are doing something different.  They will each get 3 gifts from Mom that will be representative of the 3 gifts that the wise men brought to Jesus.   1 thing that they want, 1 thing that is meaningful and 1 thing practical.   And there will be a definite financial cap on each child.  I put away money for Christmas throughout the year, and that was really helpful to get through the season without getting in any debt. (A few Christmas bonuses didn’t hurt either)

Another really important part of Christmas is that it is a time to reach out to people that you may not talk to, or give recognition to during the year.  I think this is something that most people do, but it is really important to me, and a part of my personal “Christmas Traditions.”  This is also something that gets procrastinated every year and can cause a lot of stress as I continue to think about it throughout the season.  The more I think about something and try to remind myself to “get around to it” the more stress that can cause.  Once these things were completed, that was when I truly began to relax and enjoy the season.  The things that I really want to do each year to complete this goal are the following.

1.       Create and mail out Christmas cards

2.       Bring treats and Christmas greetings to neighbors and nearby friends.

3.       Give token gifts or treats to co-workers.

4.       Visit and bring treats the ladies I visit teach.

To me these are the things that make Christmas feel like Christmas. 

The work parties, and church parties and community events can be a fun part of Christmas, but they shouldn’t add to the stress of an already too busy month.  I will attend parties if I have time and am looking forward to them.  I will not waste my energy on parties that come at difficult times and we are not looking forward to them…that is one stress that we can avoid.

Finally, the most important part of Christmas is sharing the spirit of Christ within the family and with anyone else that we can.  We have a book that has a countdown to Christmas with a scripture, song and story for each day of December.  If we did just one thing each night it would help.  Even if we only read the stories for Family Home Evening each Monday, we would have been better off this year.  There was so much busy stuff that we didn’t take time to even remember that the birth and atonement of Jesus Christ is the full and complete meaning of all of the celebration anyway.  How often we as humans forget or simply do not understand that the birth of Jesus Christ on the earth, is the one hope of meaning in this difficult life.  Without the Savior, we would not be able to change and repent and become a person that we truly can be.  The Savior made it possible for us to erase the mistakes and even rebellions that we have been a part of, if we make the choice to change…if we really want to be better.  I want to be able to return to his presence, and I want the people I love to be with me.  I imagine it is something like, when you first leave home, you need to go back to your family occasionally just to know that you have someone who loves you no matter what.  I know that God and our Savior Jesus Christ love us no matter what and would want to encircle us in their arms if we would just come to them and allow the atonement to work in our lives so that we can worthily be in their presence.  I want my children to have a full understanding of this and know that no matter what they face, they can find the strength they need to conquer, because Christ will be by their side helping whenever he is truly invited to be.

I have already done some of the things that are important to me to make changes in the Holiday routine…things that have made Christmas better.  But as with everything in life, there is always room to do better and become more.  Life is not like a glass that you fill up and then you are done, because it is full and you can’t put in more.  It is more like building a grand castle. You can choose to stop when it is comfortable, even cozy and happy, or you can choose to continue to build it bigger and greater,  through learning more,  giving more,  loving more and seeking greater opportunities to feel the spirit in your life, and the lives of the people that you have influence over.  We can choose to grow and become more with each passing day. 

Sometimes it takes a reminder somewhere to jump start us out of a comfort zone of complacency and allow us a vision of why we keep working.

A note to self:  continue to study your scriptures and review your emotional first aid kit, whenever you forget why you should keep trying. Remember that life is good, and always remember that you are loved.

My Birthday and Denver Trip

I had so much fun on my trip, I felt I should share. 

For my actual birthday, I went to lunch with the girls, (3 good friends), and the weather in Vegas was actually cool enough to sit outside at the restaurant and that in and of itself is a really big treat!!  Good food and girl talk with a cool outdoor breeze.  It was amazing.  (My kids celebrated by birthday the night before with dinner at Cici's Pizza, and a shopping trip to Target so they could pick out birthday presents for me.  they were awesome also.)

Then I went to Scott's place in the evening where we ordered in dinner and watched a movie. We had been wanting to see "King's Speech" but the PG-13 version.  Well....they don't make a DVD PG-13 version, only in the movie theaters could you get that version.  So, Scott did some extensive research as to the R rating and was able to edit it, (skip certain scenes) to make it a great movie.  And it was a really good movie.

The next day (Sunday) we went to the airport to try to get a flight out on stand by.  We knew it would be hard, so that's why we started the process on Sunday.  However it was really fun.  It felt like an adventure waiting around the airport to see if we could get a seat. On the second flight we tried, we got on, even though the flight was running 2 + hours late, and the room of people waiting to get on was packed.  It was like winning the lottery.  We got to Denver and didn't have to pay to fly.  (It's good to be dating a guy that works for an airline)

Scott took me to his favorite places in Denver to eat and Monday before the game we went to "Elways" restaurant in downtown Denver.  It is such a beautiful, upscale restaurant.  They specialize in steak and seafood, including sushi.  The food was fabulous, but even better they brought me a dessert with a candle for my birthday.  They said it was John Elways favorite, that is why they picked it for me.  It was called a "Classic ding-dong".  But it was anything but out of a box.  It looked like a giant ding-dong (my favorite as a kid) but it was real cake with whipped cream inside and coated in chocolate ganache.  Yummmmm.  (It's good to be dating a guy who knows all the best places to eat, in the major cities where Southwest flies.)

We needed to get to the game, but Scott allowed me some time to walk around downtown Denver to see if I could find the building I used to work in when I lived there 20 years ago.  I saw a few things that looked familiar, but I don't think I found the exact building. It was nice just to walk around a little bit.

We took a cab to the game, and just getting into the area was crazy crowded.  The fans in Denver really get into their game. The stadium was packed!!! 95% of the people were wearing some forms of team shirt.... some had jerseys of their favorite players, others just had team shirts. However 75% of them had on the bright orange color of the home teams jerseys that night.  When you looked out over the stadium, you saw a sea of orange. 

The guy sitting to the right of us, was really excited and was talking to all of us and getting everyone to make sure to cheer.  Especially this guy...

He had his head painted to look like the old old Broncos helmet.   I wished I'd gotten a better picture.  The guy by us started yelling "hey... orange head, get up and cheer.  Yeah you, you painted your head orange, help us out here, you should be cheering."  This went on for about 4 minutes, before the guy turned around and acknowledged it and agreed to start cheering for his team. 

Yes, the blonde behind him was wearing black.  She and her friends were Raiders fans. (A little dangerous in that crowd)  When she got up to cheer when the Raiders made a touchdown, she got yelled at by a guy next to her group that told her she better sit down!!!

We had great seats behind the goal line.   Scott said he could have gotten seats on the 50 yard line, but behind the goal line you can actually follow the game better and see exactly where they are.  (It's good to be dating a guy who played football in a semi pro league.)  He was also able to teach me things about the game that no one else ever pointed out before.

By the way, that bald head in the lower right corner of the picture is the guy that HAD an orange helmet head earlier.  It rained hard in the second quarter, and he had to wipe off the paint.  The rain kept up and we were totally soaked.  But it was still fun and I counted it as part of the whole experience.

It was a late game (It started at 8:30) and we got back very late (1:45 am).  (Catching a cab after a game like that was like.... well the line to get a cab was another "mile high" experience.)   It was such a great adventure. I count myself pretty lucky to have had such a great birthday experience.

If you didn't catch the game, the Raiders won by 3 points, but the Broncos played a better game, just don't tell Kathie I said that.

Hello, I'm still here

Okay, so it has been a really, really long time since I have posted.  Darian is now in his second year of Pole Vault.  His current height is 7 feet. Just qualifying in most cases, but it is improvement.  Most importantly he still enjoys it.

Excuses:  I stopped writing when I realized that I was going to get divorced.  Divorce... something I never thought would be in my vocabulary.  It can be a taboo word.  I have avoided people who don't already know so that I don't have to see the look of pity in their eyes, or explain myself to them. 

Now, one year later I can say it.  I got divorced.  Although I don't recommend it as a principle, it is one of the best decisions that I have made in a long time.  There really are times when it is not only the best option, but the only acceptable option.  I am now a strong confident woman, and I know that I can do whatever I need to do in my life.   I have a nice smaller home, but big enough for all of our needs.  I have 2 great jobs, lots of friends and support.  I have great supportive kids and family members that will always be there for me when I need them, and I even get to go out on a date once in a while. (Okay, maybe it's more frequently)

Because I work 2 jobs, and have the kids on weekdays when homework and extracurricular activities eat up all of the spare time, I often feel like I'm missing out on personal time with my kids.  I don't get the weekend "down" time.  I miss out on the spontaneous picnic for Saturday lunch, or board games on Sunday because we have time to relax. 

With the help of a buddy-coach, I determined that I need "fun" with my kids in my life.  I am going to play with them more often. 

It started on Monday, when I was getting the kids started with homework, and suddenly realized that I needed to return a video before I got charged anymore for it.  I figured I could do that while they worked on homework.  Zach asked if he could come with me.  (He was missing me after spending the past 10 days with his Dad for Spring Break.)  When we got back we decided to go through the garage to make sure to put the empty water bottles into recycling.  I spotted the football by the recycling bins and tossed it to Zach.  Soon I put my purse down and went out into the alley that our garage backs up into, and just passed the football back and forth for about 1/2 hour.  At some point he through the ball and I caught it and he said "you are better than me", and I was able to point out to him that he knows how to throw the football better than me and that is why I was able to catch it.  He smiled and realized that that was probably true.  It just takes practice. We were both better at it by the time we were done playing.  We are going to do it again soon, but include more brothers. 

Pole Vaulting?

So, when the school year started last September, Darian realized that with the budget cut backs and a cut back in the number of classes that they are allowed to take, that he would have to take some pre-emptive measures to ensure that he would be able to take the classes he wants.  (ie: he doesn't have space in his schedule to take a foreign language and orchestra, and language is a requirement to get into most colleges.)  We learned from Calvin's experience that summer school is much easier than regular semesters, so he could take his harder classes over the summer and get better grades. 

The option that he picked was to take a sport and get to skip taking P.E. for the year next year.  He thought he wanted to play football, but didn't bother to get involved. (He probably missed the tryouts since it was already football season when school started.)  So he thought, Track and Field would be fun.  He went to the practices leading up to try outs and decided that to try pole vault because there were fewer people trying it, and he'd get more time "doing", less time "watching".  The requirements for joining pole vault were that you have to be able to do a sommersault and a handstand.  Now go back 2 months.

Zachary decided he wanted to try gymnastics because a friend of his did it.  When Darian heard that Zach was joining gymnastics he wanted to do it also. So I signed the both of them up.  Where Darian learned to do among other things, a sommersault and a handstand.  Funny how things work out.

Darian made the team, and is now finding out just how crazy a teenagers life can really become... He'll be real ready for spring break in a few weeks.

Pray for Rain

After a 10 year drought and fears of the low levels at Lake Mead, we've been praying for rain for a long time.

We haven't seen much rain in Las Vegas for the 17 years we've lived here.  When we do we remember it distinctly!!  I remember July of 1998, our friends had their home flood, and my kids had to wait at school for the flood waters to recede before we could go get them. I had to drive home from an appointment, and couldn't go the regular route because the main street approaching my neighborhood had become a river.

I remember sudden downpour around 2003 or 2004? when we were at a party in the park and out of no where we were pelted and had to run to our cars.  Party over!! That's the year helicopter rescuers had to help the lady stuck in her car that was being washed away.  So having these memories in mind.....

Calvin started college night classes this week.  The orginal plan was for me to drive him to Allen's work where he would take his dad's car to school, then go back and work at Allen's office after class for the rest of the evening.  Then the rain started. 

Tuesday night I decided to just drop him off at school because it was raining substantially.  Yesterday was pretty mellow but the rain started up again in the evening as Calvin finished with his scouting responsibility.  (He is the assistant Den Leader for Zach's Wolf den)

Anyway, I decided to suck it up and let him drive to school.  All seemed to go well...  Today however...

The rains are already taking over, and I'm nervous enough for myself to drive in it, just because I don't know where I'll find floods.  I've heard that this will be the biggest storm in a decade. and it is a series of storms.  I have to go out myself tonight, so I'm definately driving Calvin to class first.  He got his license in Sept. and he is 18 years old, but the mommy in me still panics.  Is it a mommy thing?  or is it a hereditary thing that makes me a bit jumpy about stuff like this?  I remember Grandma Stagge being scared of driving and flying as she aged.  Could I be heading the same way?  Maybe I have some things to figure out.

Anyway, I hope all this rain helps the grass green up a bit.  That's the fortunate thing that we usually get out of rain storms.  Of course it wouldn't hurt if it helps fill Lake Mead just a little bit.

Elder Kissner

I haven't written in the Blog much lately.  I've been writing all my happenings to letter to Brady.  I just opened up his blog for everyone to read.  I wasn't sure about the privacy issues, but I knew that more of his friends would like to be able to see what he's up to. 

Our family has taken on more activities again with Ethan in Tae Kwon Do, Zach & Darian in Gymnastics, and Calvin is taking Japanese and computer programming.  All of these activities are in the evening.  It may get crazy again, but I hate to have my kids miss out of something that could be beneficial to them, just because us parents have crazy schedules.  I guess there is a balance to all things, and it's about time we get back on the scales instead of just watching the world go by.

Actually Darian may get a little on the busy crazy side very soon.  He is joining Track and Field at school, he's in Orchestra and takes private music lessons, and he's ready to start working on his eagle project, in addition to the gymnastics he just joined.  If anyone can make it work, I believe that he can.  This kid has the best attitude I've ever seen. 

I really am a very lucky mom.  These kids are the greatest.

Winter storms

Reasons to be glad we live in Las Vegas....

This is the entrance to a building in Grand Forks, ND