Easter and on...

Easter Baby

Hanging out in the native grasses at her very first Easter egg hunt.

Easter Saturday. Evening snack from momma while Olive surveys the scene.

Where did April go? Seems like yesterday I was in Montana. 
Easter was nice for Michael, Aven and I. We spent Saturday evening at Michael's good friends Marc and Dani's house, for a kid filled Easter egg hunt and star talent show. Then Sunday we went to my friend Serenity's house for an Easter egg hunt and BBQ. Aven loves being around other kids and baby's and it is fun to watch her be so entertained and curious about these other "small beings."

The past week I realized I have not ran in almost 2 weeks. My motivation has escaped me, and I did not even know it. It is so easy to get lost in the day to day, especially when there is a lot of emotion involved. When I do run again my head clears. I need a goal to keep myself on track with running and being in shape. I have witnessed my body fluctuation 1-3 lbs very easily, depending on my activity level and my diet. There are some races coming up in the next couple months that I would like to sign up for. I know that if I have an event to train for, I will! 

I ran a 5k race about 2 weeks ago and got my ass kicked. No excuses, I just sucked it up :( It was humbling indeed to be 1/2 mile from the finish line and holding back my bodies every desire to puke. I made some mistakes before running, and early in the run, that lead to this rather embarrassing event. All I can do is learn and do better next time. At the race I met a man who told me about a race in Flagstaff called the Sacred Mountain Prayer Run. I have not been able to get it out of my head and cannot wait to register for it tomorrow! It will be a challenging race at 7,000 feet, with steep terrain and tough competition. I am excited to begin training.

All is well in Aven's world. She had a 102/103 fever on Sunday and Monday. It broke sometime early early morning today, so she woke up bright and chirping. We have discovered another food allergy: CHEESE. Poor baby had the worst rash I've seen yet. She had some small cubes of cheddar cheese and her little body could not handle it. I am beginning to think that if this is going to keep up into toddler-hood and kid-hood, I will need to make a very significant diet change. I eat healthy, but I eat a lot of inflammatory foods like red meat, wheat, and cheese. Wow, writing that I just realized that Aven does not like red meat or wheat, and she is allergic to cheese. Hmm. Right now I am keeping track of everything that goes in my body and hers, and if it effects either of us negatively. It's tedious, but necessary. 

Today we met with some girlfriends for a clothing exchange at Flynn Park, and as always, I came away with one or two things to be excited about. Thank you Kate, Kelly, Brooke and Deb! This afternoon Aven and I sacked out for a much needed and deserved, 2 hour nap. We both woke up smiling. Dinner with Michael and then bed for all. It was a nice day and nice to be in the sun.

What I Wouldn't Give

It has been way too long since my last post. For those of you who actually read this, sorry about that. I would like to be more consistent with these updates.
I am in Bozeman, MT right now and it is most definitely winter. It is so wonderful to be home! When I was leaving Prescott it had been around 70 degrees for a week, and thinking about coming up to snow and cold was not exciting. However, the second I breathed in the crisp air and saw the sparkling crystal snowy world around me, being here in winter became very very easy.
Yesterday I went snowboarding for my first time in 2 years. I have been skiing the last couple winters, which I can do just fine, but that's about it. Snowboarding however, lets me fly.
When I dream about sliding on the snow, I dream in snowboarding. In those dreams I am the closest to flying I think I will ever be. That is how it is in the hills for me too. I rode in 9 inches of fresh powder yesterday on top of a 110 in base at Bridger Bowl, and it came back easier than riding a bike. I flew.
Bridger is a very special place. I have memories there from every winter of my life in Montana, and every memory is good. I have never had a bad day at Bridger Bowl, even if the snow sucked.
I was boarding with my mom's fiance and his daughter yesterday, and at one point we had just dropped off of the ridge, the fog cleared momentarily and I was looking down this amazing snow covered slope, dotted with sapling Lodge Pole Pine trees and not one person (besides us) was around. It was silent and oh so beautiful. The wind had created billows of fresh snow and I felt like I was riding on down pillows. It is days like yesterday when life away from snowboarding seems so silly. I ask myself "Why the heck am I in the desert, especially when it gets just as hot up here in the summers?"
Before I moved to Arizona I was riding 70+ days a season. Oh my god, how I miss it. Not just snowboarding, but the entire winter experience. 

I left my sisters house late the other night with baby asleep in my arms. I walked out the door into the perfect winter night: not too cold, snow falling softly and slowly, not a sound anywhere and snow covered houses, trees and cars sparkling in the moonlight. The perfection of that night stopped me in my tracks and I stood there letting the snow fall on Aven and I, and I cried.

I am so deeply blessed to have grown up in this magical Montana world and to be here right now, remembering and appreciating it all. 

Sadly, I have no photos of my day at Bridger. I forgot the camera at my mom's and was kicking myself for it. 

Here are some shots of my super pregnant and cute sister, Holly, and my niece Mesa, whom Aven absolutely adores!

Holly opening gifts at her baby shower

There's that belly! Holly and our awesome friend, Kelsey

Sisters. Looks like Aven's checkin' out the boobies!

Aven's cousin, Mesa, who will be 8 years young tomorrow! Happy birthday my sweet niece!

Aven lets Mesa cart her around like a little puppy. Its darn cute.

Spring Swing

Wow, March 11 already! Today was beautiful, and the nice weather is going to continue it looks like! Cant wait to get out for a run tomorrow and some climbing with a good friend on Sunday. Last Sunday I did an amazing run with my girlfriend Brooke and her good friend Maggie who is in town. We ran 10 miles begining at the north end of the Peavine Trail, to the Iron King/Peavine intersection and 3 miles out the Iron King, and back. All in all 10 miles. My body felt better than when I ran the 1/2 marathon, but I have had 4 more months to get in better shape, so I guess that makes sense.
Tuesday I ran in Hidden Valley, off of White Spar, but accessable from my back door. The entire loop that I do is not much more than 3 miles, but I have realized that it is mostly uphill. I was pushing Aven in the jogger and was really feeling it in my lungs! I will have to do that run more than I have been because I LOVE the burn! That sounds so masochistic, but truth is, some of my very best days come from working my body to its limits...like being in labor :)
Speaking of being in labor, I am quite positive that if I do have another babe someday, I will most certainly search out the VBAC option. If I was contracting for 40 hours I sure as hell can push a baby out too. Anyways, tangent.
So, I love the burn when I run--it is the mental challenge that appeals to me so much. Tuesday my lungs were on fire and my arms were heavy while pushing my 18.5 lb daughter + her stroller up numerous hills. I wanted to stop SO BAD, but instead I went to that place where running and burning make me feel whole and holy. Its the same way in climbing, sometimes you just have to, and learn to, harness your fear and pain and go for it. If you've taken all the proper safety steps and know what you are doing, positive results will ensue: physically emotionally spiritually.
This sunshine and spring weather have me so stoked to be outside in a garden, on the rock or on a trail...especially with friends and women!
Tonight I was at a house warming and blessing party for a beautiful woman and her son. I was surrounded by women and 3 baby girls, plus Aven, all born within a month of each other...it was awesome! I felt so welcome and at peace. Thank you to all you stunning women out there sharing your wisdom and love, and thank you Claire for such a lovely evening!

Just a quick Aven update:

Almost crawling, definitely waving, growing like a weed, soft fuzzy head of hair that is also growing fast, serious separation anxiety happening with mommy and daddy, don't know where she got those cheeks!, and all healed up from being sickly.
She amazes me everyday!

If Snot was Fuel, We'd be in Great Shape!

We have been sick. It all started last Saturday with Aven having an icky, juicy cough. I immediately called her pediatrician and we chatted for a while and I made an appointment to come in on Monday. Monday rolled around, we went to the doc, and he diagnosed Aven with bronchitis. I have been at home with my baby-o all week. Monday was a pretty rough day. Aven felt so so horrible, and all day long she hung out in my arms with her head on my shoulder, moaning. I have felt a lot of emotion in my life, but nothing comes close to the feeling in my heart when my baby is moaning and staring at me with her fever bright eyes and little pinched face, wanting me to make it all go away. She also would not nurse on Monday because of how bad she felt. This was a wake up call for me and added to the emotional challenge. I was wondering if she was on a nursing strike, but turns out she just felt like crap.

Aven started on some medicine on Monday that had a three day duration. Wednesday came and she was not doing any better and I was getting more worried than before. Aven went back to the doc on Thursday, he told us we needed to take her to the emergency room immediately, and off we went. On Thursday morning Aven coughed for and hour straight. All that coughing was interspersed with crying and a whole bunch of snot. It was epic. Every time she would cough it would make her so upset she would cry, which would produce a ton of snot. She would proceed to rub her face, rubbing the snot everywhere and I would come in and try and clean it up just so her eyelids and nostrils didn't get snot-glued shut. This would make her even more mad and she would start coughing, just to start the cycle all over again. Sadness.

At the emergency room Aven started to calm down. She actually really surprised me and instead of being totally scared and clingy, she was more curious and attentive. That is until they took her rectal temperature. I was holding her and I felt her whole body go rigid when the thermometer went in. Michael said her facial expression was priceless and sad at the same time. I could feel her shaking and what took 30 seconds, felt like 5 minutes. They pulled it out just in time because I could tell Aven was about to do "The Banana." The Banana is Aven's way of telling us she's pissed off with her body. She is a very fiery little girl with an opinion, and when she gets mad, especially these days, she like to throws her head back, arching her back with her arms out to her sides and legs flexed. I have gotten really good at catching her mid-throw, with just a couple misses here and there. When I miss, The Banana becomes The Banana Split. You would think I was pulling her toenails off. As funny as this sounds, it is actually quite sad and traumatic for me. I don't want Aven to be feeling that way. A lot of the time I can distract her pretty quickly with making duck or fart noises.

I remember when Aven was 1 month old, Michael was changing her diaper in the middle of the night and Aven was not pleased. He came into the doorway of the bedroom and said, "Check this out honey!" I looked up in the midst of Aven throwing a fit, and she was doing an Inverted Banana (or "The Flying Aven").  Michael was holding her over his left shoulder (this was before she had head control), and she had arched her back so hard that her feet and torso were almost perpendicular to the ground. Even though she was crying, I started to crack up because it's just not a sight I could ever have imagined seeing.

Aven seems to find comfort in being upside down. Even when she is happy she will throw her head back in delight and squeak and squeal. One evening I came downstairs and Michael was swinging her side to side and upside down by one leg. I think my jaw hit the ground, and then I heard her squeals of delight. This makes me think that my boss at gymnastics is going to have a hay-day with her when she's old enough. Just like her mommy: cant stay on the ground, always wanting to climb and flip.

So anyways, enough of that tangent. The emergency room visit turned out o.k. Getting chest x-rays was a bit rough, and all her tests came back negative, which was a major relief. We went back to her pediatrician today and he is convinced that she has RSV, which I am convinced of too. He said that a number of times this season, patients he has sent to the E.R. have been tested negative for RSV only to go back a few days later and come up positive. Unfortunately RSV is a virus, so there is no antibiotic for it and Aven just has to cough it out. She is no longer contagious, and she's fought the virus off, but the lingering effects are that a lot of lung tissue has been shed, and coughing is how infants deal with working that tissue out of their system. For more into on this, Google it.  I also have a cold with lots of snot that I got from my precious and innocent little petri dish of a baby. Come Monday we will be back in the swing of things and not bored out of our minds in the house. I have gotten so fed up with being here that cleaning is not even desirable anymore. The first few days I kept things pretty tidy and was motivated, but I had a pretty sick day in there myself, and now I'm just over it. Luckily, we finally replaced our dishwasher, so doing the dishes just became a whole lot easier again! (Geez, when did I become so domestic? Oh yeah, when I had a kid.)

Well, that's a wrap for now. Sorry for the lengthy-ness, that's just how I roll. No pics of sick babies and mommies for this one. Aven is not fully recovered, but she is eating well again and chirping. Until next time...

Redefining Freedom

One of the first things Michael and I knew we had in common, was that we both detest nuts. If I remember correctly, he said that that was one reason why he had a crush on me. Wow, I really know how to please a guy.

When I was pregnant I started liking peanut butter for the first time in my life, and peanut butter toast, along with cereal, were the only things I really wanted to eat. Now, it appears that Aven is allergic to peanuts and almonds. Go figure. I found this out because I ate some almonds months ago and the baby broke out in an eczema rash head to toe. I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich a couple weeks later and wouldn't ya know it, a rash head to toe again.

This past week I was craving peanut butter so badly. I finally caved thinking, "Maybe she's not really allergic" (am I a horrible mom?), and yep, the poor baby has little red rashy spots all over her body. She must be so so sensitive to be affected through my breast milk.

Well, the doc says that it's possible her allergies will go away by the time she's 2 or 3. I hope so for her sake. It just seems so bazaar to me that she is that sensitive, when neither Michael or I have food allergies.

We had a nice and mellow weekend. I coached gymnastics yesterday morning for a couple hours and then came home, fed the baby and layed in the sun. It was a beautiful 60 + degrees. Today we had some friends over for coffee with their 6 and 3 year old little girl and boy, then we hiked the Spruce Mountain Trail for as long as the kiddos would tolerate it. Aven road on her daddy in the Baby Bjorn.

The trail wraps around the east side of the Groom Creek boulders where I have spent so much of my life in Prescott climbing; and it was HARD to see and not touch today. My palms got sweaty and I was nostalgic. Groom Creek is a special and spiritual spot for me. I have spent many nights asleep on one of the boulders up there, and in my van in the pull-out. I have spent days and days and days playing on those rocks, working problems, chalky and sweaty in the Arizona sun.

My life as a mommy has been largely about me redefining who I am as a climber. "Redefining freedom" is a phrase that has been going through my head a lot lately. I am content, but honestly, I spend some time daydreaming about the time when I will be able to go on awesome climbing excursions. I have a lot of unfinished business with climbing and I get scared that it will be left that way. After all, climbing was my first love.

And then I'm pulled back to reality by Aven's jibber-jabber and laughter, and Michael's kisses. And I am happy and grateful for this amazing family of mine-dynamic and delightful and totally fulfilling. I just hope that I'm redefining my freedom with elegance.