It has been 8 months since I was in the seminary classroom and for the last 8 months I have carried a chip on my shoulder. I look over all of my travels and experiences over the last half year and at times I had a hard time feeling happiness... which made me even more frustrated because I felt like I should have been having the time of my life and sometimes it wasn't the time of my life. Since returning and beginning my BYU coursework last week I realized my mood was consistently below mediocre and unsatisfied, and laced randomly with moments of brief joy. I could not figure out the catalyst! Megan and I discussed that it might be related to the fact that I had not had a boyfriend in over a year and a half--aka I was deprived of affection and love, which (though I might be deprived of that) didn't settle my restless heart because that meant I was morphing into a needy "I WILL MARRY THE NEXT BOY WHO WALKS DOWN MY STREET" girl and that was a depressing thought! To add to my stress I was about to start teaching seminary again... and the mere thought of subjecting myself to the scrutiny and demand of 50+ teenagers again made a knot the size of a baseball rise from my stomach and squeeze my chest. Not good. Last winter those 7&8 period students rocked my world.. in a bad way. They shook my confidence to the core and left me feeling like an abandoned failure. I knew I would not survive another semester like that. I prayed, fasted, paced myself, got a blessing, my family and friends prayed and fasted.. Even the night before teaching I felt little change in my confidence level. I thought I would throw up because I forced myself to eat a cup of yogurt for breakfast at 5am (did I mention I'm teaching early morning and first period? ya) and I wanted more than anything to give up, call my preservice director and quit. With 3 hours of sleep under my belt from a restless night of bad dreams and tossing and turning, I pulled myself up off my knees and walked into my new seminary home with the prayer of faith burning through my chest. Sam was the first student to walk into my classroom and after that moment everything changed. My previous teaching semester left my mind and I felt my true self emerge for the first time in a year. I have been teaching for 3 days and already I feel a difference in my overall attitude. These kids have literally healed my soul. I have since realized that seminary is more than just a career choice I am pursuing, rather it encompasses and involves the very nature and heart of who I am. I do not expect this semester to be peaches 'n cream from now on.. quite the contrary I know that this new experience will purge me as a teacher and individual in a new way, but to be honest I feel like the hardest part is over. I survived and chose to continue.. now the challenge is not to just survive but to excel.
peace. and what a blessing that is
1.17.2013
11.17.2012
Jerusalem Security Update
Just a quick note to clarify what has been happening the last couple days in the Holy Land!
Here is the sweet and condensed version:
The Holy Land is divided into 3 parts: Israel, Gaza, and the West Bank.
HISTORY LESSON: Israel is run by the Israeli (Jewish) Government. The WestBank/Gaza areas are supposed to be run by the Palestinians, however Israel is currently occupying (i.e. controlling militarily) the West Bank and have the Gaza strip boarders and coast completely surrounded. The Palestinians are sick of the Israeli military running the show in what is supposed to be their land. Gaza has been taken over by a hostile Palestinian group called "Hamas" and they REALLY don't like when Israeli soldiers over step their boundaries, which happens frequently. Long story short, after being discriminated against and belittled in every sense of the word, the Palestinians start to get angry and take a stand. Hamas has taken a more violent approach. I do not condone anything that Hamas has done because their methods are frequently inhumane, however I am sympathetic to the Palestinian cause because they have been wronged on many levels.
CURRENT HISTORY: Hamas frequently sends rockets into Israel, but Israel is usually able to detect these rockets and destroy them before they land. However in the last few days Hamas has sent more than 200 rockets into Israel. Because Jerusalem is the 3rd holiest site in Islam it has not been been targeted in 40 years... until yesterday.
MY STORY: Yesterday at 5pm I was going downstairs to switch my laundry (the laundry room is conveniently located inside the bomb shelter) when I heard the air raid siren go off in the city. I knew what it was and quickly made it the rest of the way to the bomb shelter/laundry room. The PA system chimed and announced that everyone was to make their way to the bomb shelter immediately. We were only in there for 25-30 minutes (I had plenty of time to switch my loads) before we got the all clear sign from security. We did NOT hear any "booms" or "explosions". We then met in the forum where our program director addressed us. This is what we know:
Hamas targeted Jerusalem with 1-2 missiles (NOT BOMBS, aka they weren't armed for mass destruction). The missile's trajectories were calculated and Jerusalem was nearest target, so the air raid sirens were set off. We had a 3-5 minute warning to get where we needed to be before the missiles would have been in deadly range. The missiles landed south of Bethlehem, so as you can see from the map they were NOT EVEN CLOSE. They landed in unoccupied areas and no one was injured. The media (Deseret News, KSL, etc) really took this to the max by saying all this stuff about us holding tight while bombs fell, which is a complete exaggeration. Heaven help the media. The Israeli government is confident that Hamas has few if any remaining missiles that would have the potential to reach Jerusalem, but regardless the national security force (IDF-Israeli Defense Force) and the Jerusalem Center security staff are both equipped to protect. I felt safe and was never in any sort of peril.
If you read the recent Deseret News article update you will know that our schedule for the night carried on as planned and at the JC we attended PROM!
On a happier note I went to Prom and did my hair and full make-up for the first time since I left! We left the forum in a hurry because we were all behind schedule and wanted to get all done up before dinner at 6:30. Because the ratio is 2.5 girls to 1 boy it was a Polyga-Prom. The boys drew names and picked up their dates at the door. We ate dinner in the Oasis (our cafeteria), took pictures, and then danced the night away. Pretty epic!
Thanks for all of the prayers, calls, emails, thoughts, etc. I love you all and am grateful to have so many supporters and friends. The people that need your prayers are the Palestinian civilians who are innocent and caught in the midst of the fighting. {pray for peace}
Love, Kaylen
P.S. If anything happens in the future and you want to check up on the security here at the Jerusalem Center you can check it on our website and it will update you on how things are going here at the JC-- http://ce.byu.edu/jc/security.php
Here is the sweet and condensed version:
The Holy Land is divided into 3 parts: Israel, Gaza, and the West Bank.
HISTORY LESSON: Israel is run by the Israeli (Jewish) Government. The WestBank/Gaza areas are supposed to be run by the Palestinians, however Israel is currently occupying (i.e. controlling militarily) the West Bank and have the Gaza strip boarders and coast completely surrounded. The Palestinians are sick of the Israeli military running the show in what is supposed to be their land. Gaza has been taken over by a hostile Palestinian group called "Hamas" and they REALLY don't like when Israeli soldiers over step their boundaries, which happens frequently. Long story short, after being discriminated against and belittled in every sense of the word, the Palestinians start to get angry and take a stand. Hamas has taken a more violent approach. I do not condone anything that Hamas has done because their methods are frequently inhumane, however I am sympathetic to the Palestinian cause because they have been wronged on many levels.
CURRENT HISTORY: Hamas frequently sends rockets into Israel, but Israel is usually able to detect these rockets and destroy them before they land. However in the last few days Hamas has sent more than 200 rockets into Israel. Because Jerusalem is the 3rd holiest site in Islam it has not been been targeted in 40 years... until yesterday.
MY STORY: Yesterday at 5pm I was going downstairs to switch my laundry (the laundry room is conveniently located inside the bomb shelter) when I heard the air raid siren go off in the city. I knew what it was and quickly made it the rest of the way to the bomb shelter/laundry room. The PA system chimed and announced that everyone was to make their way to the bomb shelter immediately. We were only in there for 25-30 minutes (I had plenty of time to switch my loads) before we got the all clear sign from security. We did NOT hear any "booms" or "explosions". We then met in the forum where our program director addressed us. This is what we know:
Hamas targeted Jerusalem with 1-2 missiles (NOT BOMBS, aka they weren't armed for mass destruction). The missile's trajectories were calculated and Jerusalem was nearest target, so the air raid sirens were set off. We had a 3-5 minute warning to get where we needed to be before the missiles would have been in deadly range. The missiles landed south of Bethlehem, so as you can see from the map they were NOT EVEN CLOSE. They landed in unoccupied areas and no one was injured. The media (Deseret News, KSL, etc) really took this to the max by saying all this stuff about us holding tight while bombs fell, which is a complete exaggeration. Heaven help the media. The Israeli government is confident that Hamas has few if any remaining missiles that would have the potential to reach Jerusalem, but regardless the national security force (IDF-Israeli Defense Force) and the Jerusalem Center security staff are both equipped to protect. I felt safe and was never in any sort of peril.
If you read the recent Deseret News article update you will know that our schedule for the night carried on as planned and at the JC we attended PROM!
On a happier note I went to Prom and did my hair and full make-up for the first time since I left! We left the forum in a hurry because we were all behind schedule and wanted to get all done up before dinner at 6:30. Because the ratio is 2.5 girls to 1 boy it was a Polyga-Prom. The boys drew names and picked up their dates at the door. We ate dinner in the Oasis (our cafeteria), took pictures, and then danced the night away. Pretty epic!
Thanks for all of the prayers, calls, emails, thoughts, etc. I love you all and am grateful to have so many supporters and friends. The people that need your prayers are the Palestinian civilians who are innocent and caught in the midst of the fighting. {pray for peace}
Love, Kaylen
P.S. If anything happens in the future and you want to check up on the security here at the Jerusalem Center you can check it on our website and it will update you on how things are going here at the JC-- http://ce.byu.edu/jc/security.php
FASHION SHOW!
I thought I would dedicate a whole blog post to my wardrobe and terrible hair styles... because it's worth documenting.
This is my Sound of Music dress: Maria!
This is my atrocious tourist combo.. khaki's and asics. Pains my soul!
Yucky sweaty
This was my passover outfit. I actually looked decent that day because I wore my bangs down.. RARE.
Get a load of that warrior braid!
Denim has been a hit here..
Arab night!!
Tye-Dye? Why not
Where does Jackson start and where do I begin?
My Family History and Genealogy shirt... at a Jewish cemetery
These steps are ones where they are fairly certain Jesus would have walked. Pretty neat
frump!
Twin Day! Me and "S.T." Khakis, BYU t-shirt, hairband on the right, watch on the left, pink nails, same hair and earrings :) fun stuff
Then there is the fanny pack, which is ALWAYS in style.. plus two side braids! Double Whammy
This next outfit is my personal favorite. I get compliments (legitimate compliments) ever time I wear it. I bought the skirt at DI for $4 and mom absolutely hated it. She said it was ugly, but I kinda liked it! The waist was about 3 inches too big so I sewed it up. When I got to Jeru it was nick-named my "party skirt" and when paired with chacos, a denim shirt, and a fanny pack I think the result is quite nice....
Needless to say I need to burn just about everything I brought, but I'm so glad that I can wake up and debate wearing makeup and then wear my hair wavy every single day. It's the best. I have only blow dryed my hair one time.. and that was today... for the JC PROM! I will post about that later and give a quick security update with things going down here in Israel, but everyone is safe and sound here!
Adios!
11.03.2012
The Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan
Marhaba!
Monday we went on our 2nd large out of Jerusalem field trip to the country of Jordan..
Monday we left and went to Mount Nebo where Moses first looked across the Jordan river into the Promised Land, but was not permitted to go into it because the Children of Israel were not very obedient.
Skipping all of the lame sites where we looked at foundations of old cities and broken columns (they really are cool, but after looking at 15 they all tend to look the same).
Our second day we travelled to PETRA! It was incredible. We walked through a slot canyon and then through a crack in the canyon you get a glimpse of the Treasury
The Nabateans carved it OUT OF THE MOUNTAIN.
There were camels there and we got to ride them :)
.. remarkably its looks more comfortable than it was
After Camels we hiked to 'The High Place'. It was a place.. that was high. Weird!
Everyone LOVED Petra and I think part of the reason why is because it looked so much like Southern Utah and reminded us all of home.
After the high place we hiked to "The World's Greatest View".
And it was a pretty incredible view of the Monastery!
Dirty feet.. My chacos are green and black if you couldn't tell..
Swollen fingers.. my hand is the one in the middle. When it's warm and I'm walking a lot my fingers BLOW UP
The day after Petra I spend a pretty great night in the capitol city of Amman. A group of us went to an internet cafe, the locals pulled out a guitar, and it turned into a full little porch concert. It was a beautiful night. I shared a smoothie with one of my favorite people Jay, and then we danced to one of the songs they played :) SO MUCH FUN! I skyped my mom that night, which always brightens my week.
On our last day we went to the river Jordan
This is me and Jordan at the River Jordan. There were a million flies swarming us while we were there, but there is an undeniable peace connected to that place. I really loved it :)
We were gone Monday through Thursday. The rest of this week has been spent doing homework and recuperating from an exhausting "vacation".
I am over half way done. I cannot even believe that!! I miss my family so much, but at the same time I don't want this to end. Initially it took me a couple of weeks/a month or two to get my bearings here, but now things are going really well and I can't imagine it coming to an end.
Love from the Holy Land
Klinny
10.13.2012
$25
Crew sweatshirt, retro t-shirt, Jeru sandals
BYU sweatshirt ($45)+ retro tshirt ($20)+ leather sandals ($20)= $85 at least
9.28.2012
.turkey time.
Sunday we returned from our trip to Turkey! What a crazy trip. They had us going from 6am to 8pm. It was exhausting and I am glad to be home, but it was pretty fun :)
Quick flash through pictures!
Israeli airport on the way to Istanbul:
Inside the Blue Mosque. TOTALLY beautiful
Huge Basilica cistern
The Grand Bazaar= some great shopping :)
Ferry ride up the Bosphorus Strait between the European side of Istanbul and the Asia side
The ramp at Troy.. if there was a Trojan Horse.. it came up this ramp....
.
.. and this is exactly what it would've looked like!
... haha jk
We stayed at 2 beach front resorts on the Aegean Sea.. which was pretty stinking fun
Beachside Turkish Dance Party.. the party ended when 3 drunk men showed up haha. Everyone got really awkward, stopped dancing, and then one of our tour guides grabbed the mic and said "OK! Time for bed!"
This was my favorite site we visited in all of Turkey. Assos. This is one of the places that Paul visited on one of his missions. There were no other tourists, it was early, misty, and BEAUTIFUL.. You can see Greece in the distance. Too bad we couldn't hop on a boat!
This is the theater at the Pergamon Acropolis
Temple to Artemis.. This pic makes the columns look pretty small...
.. but that is a lie. They are HUGE
This is our traveling classroom-- us, sitting on antiquities, listening to Bro. Judd through our receivers, and taking notes.
.. but that is a lie. They are HUGE
Library at Ephesus
Stretchy/Chewy Ice cream. Definitely the most bizarre ice cream I've ever eaten.... The flavor wasn't particularly unique, but it definitely was melting-- weirdest. consistancy. ever.
Mosques=head scarves
Ulu cami Mosque in Bursa
Then one of the main attractions was the Hagia Sophia (pronounced "eye-a sophia")
Roasted corn on the street.. everyone was eating this stuff so we tried it.. it was not good.
Another highlight was going to a restaurant and getting this lovely treasure put in front of me...
I won't lie it tasted pretty good, but I'm not a fan of scales and eyeballs.. Jim Gaffigan said it best:
"I am amazed that we're still serving fish with the heads on there. Don't you always feel like that eye is looking at you? Like, ‘hey, you don't mind if I watch while you eat my body, do ya? Don't be distracted if a little tear comes out. You can just tell yourself it’s just butter.’”
Then 7 days later it was all over. This is our awesome tour guide Yesamin (Jasmin, fitting since we were in the country of Aladdin!). She was with us the entire 7 days. She came with us all the way through security because she had so much fun with us and didn't want to say bye yet! She was awesome.
Well lots of people came home with a bad case of the "Turkey Trots" and a head cold, but I sanitized my hands and brushed my teeth with a water bottle so I came out unscathed!
This week has been a little more intense than other weeks. We had our Old Testament MidTerm and it was tough to study for because there is SO much information, but I think I did ok. Monday we went on a field trip to Jericho.. and and Monday we are going to the Shphelah, which is the the hilly mid lands between the Judean Hills and the Mediterranean costal plains.. anyway we're going to go to the Valley of Elah which is where David slew Goliath and you know I'm buying a sling shot for my future seminary/sunday school lessons :)
Peace out!
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