Inspired

I'm so bad at blogging.

Duh.

And I'm even worse at writing.

Duh again.

And I'm the very worst at downloading pictures. And we all know that's one of the main reasons we like to read blogs....is to look at the updated pictures, right? I know you're all shamelessly nodding your heads right now.

I know I'll never be as good as my friends or sister, but as I read theirs I get inspired. So I frantically try to fold my mountain of laundry so my kids will stop complaining about clothes to wear every morning because they can't wear school uniforms during spring break (darn it!) And because if I don't hurry and type my thoughts right now I'll forget them thanks to my stupid, debilitating disease that alters my memory & really has made me learn to be quick when it comes to things like this.

But even as I'm typing right now, I have to think hard about how to update you about the past.....what?.....(counting)....6 months of happenings here. Holidays, birthdays, school functions, family stuff, etc.

Too hard.

(ahem)

I have an almost-teenager who is almost taller than me, constantly steals my shoes, is loved & is known personally by ALL the teachers at her school & asks me every day if she can start driving. "Uh, not yet, dear...."

I have a pre-teen who has tons of friends, keeps her head buried in books, even ones she's read 17 times & is a sports freak. She's still my drama queen.

I have a 10 year old who's favorite thing to do right now is origami & draw geometric patterns. He's just started minor league baseball right now, is a great pitcher & when asked how he still gets straight A's on his report cards, just shrugs & smiles.

I have a new 8 year old who proudly, with a huge, happy spirit got to experience the wonderful blessing of baptism. He's loving the world of cub scouts right now along with baseball & still goes back to the comfort of the world of technology for children....aka: the Wii.

And last, but NEVER least, I have a 4 almost 5 year old who loves his friends, preschool, tackling his brothers, bugging his sisters, talking non-stop to his deserving father while enjoying a shower together (hmmm...wonder where he got that trait from?) and will never fail to remind his mother why he was meant to be last in his family :)

I have a husband who still adds his gifts to the huge world of auto transit. Still tickles his children endlessly until they wet their pants. Still lends his maturity to his family although being the youngest. Still is a spiritual giant & a great example. And still will always have that huge heart that He gave to him.

All this is just an extension of mine. I can't believe sometimes that they are all a part of me. A part that I joined. A part that I made. Embarrassingly, I feel guilty that I'm not giving enough back to them. That I need to show my gratitude more. Give my service more. Show them by my actions that I care what kind of person they see.

Because I do care.

I care about what happens in my children's learning; what they hear and who they hear it from. I care about my extended family and their trials & happiness. They mean so much to me. I think about those friends who have to think about their families more & know just like me, that some priorities take precedence over others. And because of this, we'll keep our friendship alive through other ways. I care about others in the world who have lost everything because of natural disasters that we don't have control or reasons for. My heart breaks for them & gives me more reason to rise up & be a better example.

I love how I get to hear a host of sweet angels sing to me every week. I have a strong testimony that there are very few things that can bring us closer to heaven than the spirit of song. And I am even more lucky as I get to bathe in that spirit hearing it from 200+ primary children. It's definitely one of the most trying callings I've ever been asked to do, but certainly without a doubt the most humbling. The many composers of the Children's Songbook were truly inspired.

Kind of how I've felt today.

It's inspiring, yes?

Tentatively working together

Alright. Approached the camera this morning, talking in a soft voice, carefully plugging in cords, typing precise keys, etc. And voila! It worked, thank heaven. So here goes.....more picture updates:

First day of school.

Riley, 8th grade (oh, and I tried my darnedest to rotate these pictures, but this is one thing the camera decided not to do, oh well)

Meagan, 7th grade

Noah, 4th grade

Gabe, 2nd grade

And Eli, who wanted to go to school with the rest of them.

Meg's 12th birthday. Her brother wanted to know all of the presents.

We did all the girl's nails by a good friend of ours, Lyndsey.

Some of Lyndsey's work. :)

This is probably Eli's best friend, Archer. They love each other and are always walking to each other's house.

This is THEIR chair, eating their cheese.

And they love their TV........

We call them Ebony and Ivory (Micheal Jackson & Paul McCartney) or chocolate & vanilla.

Mack & Rachel's boat

We got to go out on my brother in law & sister in law's boat this summer. My kids loved it! Mack, Rachel, McKenna (niece), Tanner (nephew) and Jansen (half-nephew). They were so nice and helpful with my kids who are pretty uneducated about the boat trips. So I have to give appreciation to Riley who is turning into a great photographer. Love you sweetie!

Ry & Meg. They're getting so big!

My cute boys. Gabe is being baptized next Feb. & Noah just got his Bear in scouts.

This 4 year old LOVED being on the boat. He tried to jump out a couple times.

And this is him on the kids' water ski. He did awesome. And he was mad when his turn was over.

And Gabe on the kids' ski. He did the whole, "Look Mom, one hand!"

And here's Noah. He wanted to try the real skis'. But then he got a little scared. But he liked this. :)

This is the only picture we have Meg on the skis'. She actually got up on the fourth time! She was so good! She had her birthday a couple weeks after this and wanted to go out with friends on their boat so she could show off to them. Didn't work out with everyone's schedule, but I think she'll always be a water girl. :)

This is Eli, Meg & Gabe on the water tube. It was soooo funny to see them becouse Mack was going back and forth with the boat so they could ride the waves.

Eli: trying to decide if he likes this....

Meg: saying, "go faster!"

Gabe: holding on for dear life, while hysterically laughing.

I know

You always hear about illness, disease, defects, cancer, etc. And for some, it's not something they have to deal with. And for others, it's a way of life.



It's hard.



It's emotional.



It's scary.



It's frustrating.



It's embarrassing.



It's sad.



When it hit me, it was a bit climatic. I was in college with 5 great roomies having the time of my life. They were very supportive and stayed at the hospital with me until my parents flew in. When I got home, received tests & doctors poured all over me, it seemed a little anti-climatic. "You need to do this....you have to look for this......you have to remember this...." And on and on and on.



It is something you think you can survive through. After all, Heavenly Father doesn't give us anything we can't handle, right? But at the time, the wish of healing just wraps around you. "When you Wish upon a Star" becomes your favorite song. You look at others with all their personal struggles and you always think yours is worse. Why me?



Side effects are debilitating. They hit you at unwanted times. But then why would you want them at any time? My drugs are meant to be "as more time goes by, you get used to them." Who knows if that's true. Some work great for one & horrible for others. Not a one size fits all. But how I wish it were that.



But....



I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for my home. I'm grateful for my friends. And I'm grateful for the gospel. I read last night about the apostle Peter being on the ship in the stormy seas. And then him being afraid when he saw Jesus walking on the water, "It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear." Then "Jesus spake unto them saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid." And Peter walked on the water when he was asked. Because he had faith. And he wasn't afraid even when he was minutes before.



Being afraid is something I detest. And it's now something I have to deal with. I've made it a choice. It's also a choice to be strong. To be confident. To be secure. And to have faith. He knows me. He knows my challenges. And he knows that I can overcome them.



I know I can have the faith to overcome this. I'm in it for the long haul. And even though I detest it, it keeps me grounded.



That's the most important thing of all.

The List

Where do I start? Yes, I know.....it's been so long. Please understand, but 50% of avoiding my blog is the frustration I have posting pictures, which I love to do. We just have this dumb program that I can't seem to coordinate with my camera. That or I have no idea what I'm doing. (which is probably true) But the other 50% of the blog avoidance is the constant motherly excuse that I don't have time. But hey, you can check this out every 2-3 months to see if I really did update it. ;)

But seeing as I don't have 2-3 hours to tell about EVERYTHING, here's the list:

** we're slowly adjusting to our smaller, temporary house. It's quite the change from the old one (smaller bedrooms, smaller kitchen, no office so computer in our room, no play area for friends and a HUGE yard that needs lots of sprinkler work to get it green again) But our ultimate goal is a bigger, better house. Just need to appreciate what we have and make it work.

** long summer, girls trip to parent's house, boy's fun week at home with dad and lots of hot days in the pools.

** getting back into the school life with new teachers, new school changes and homework that has dramatically increased. So has the study time (hmmmm....now how can that happen? I mean, my kids are just getting older, why should they get any changes at all? ;)

** changes in my unknowing, ever-increasing, stupid, inconvenient, embarrassing, depressing and just wanting to cry my eyes out disease that struck me 16+ years ago. It's very hard especially when you're dealing with some of the most un-feeling doctors who just have theories about maintaining your condition. Long story short, I'm now, again, adjusting doses of 2 medications to see if they make these horrible side effects disappear. Just pray for me, please.

** the ever-ending wait to see if Eli gets into a special needs preschool program offered by the school district. He had a brief test in late May and they asked for another eval. a couple weeks ago. I'm really hoping he gets in, simply for his hyper-activity and some language delays he's having. If he doesn't qualify, I'll have to look for another preschool and decrease our budget dramatically to pay for it, which is HARD.

** loving having family together last week. Especially with my grandma who's having difficulties as many of the elderly do. And being able to visit with others, thanking Heavenly Father for his blessings of love, support, families and the gospel to get ourselves through all challenges.

** and last I'm able to comment on: September is the waiting month for decreasing the Arizona sun and heat! We cannot wait, seriously. I mean we're lucky if it's 80 or lower on Halloween.

OK well, that certainly isn't everything that's happened in our family, but it's some of it.

But check back in the future.....who knows what you'll find. :)

Sweet & Silly

It's been a very weary day.


I got up wondering what I could do to entertain my rambunctious 4 year old so he wouldn't be as bored as me.


After the kids were off to school, I made my bed (and others), started a load of laundry, tried to stomach a pretty pathetic breakfast & got some games out to play with my son.


He grew tired of always losing and wanted to watch one of his favorite shows.


I put away the game and sat down by him on the couch to where he proceeded to climb around me & lean against my back. (a typical couch position for Eli)


I turned around, kissed his cheek and said, "I love you."

He leaned around, cupping my ear with his hand and whispered, "I love you, too, bum bum." He was laughing hysterically.

My only smile today. Thanks buddy.

Blessings

Being a PW native (never mind that I feel very Arizonian now) I was 15 when the Portland Temple was dedicated. Pres. Benson conducted the dedication & I remember the prayer so vividly. But one of my favorite parts was when Pres. Monson told about the Willamette River, the freshwater port that runs next to the city, where the barnacles that attach themselves to the underside of sea vessels are loosened & washed away. He compared this to the temple, that when we enter those holy doors we find our troubles washed away & feel the comfort the temple brings. Will & I were sealed in this temple & I'm always bragging to everyone how pretty the white Vermont marble is and the dark mahogany wood that decorates the inside. It's set in a beautiful grove of evergreen trees that make the temple appear even whiter and more majestic. Again, I was only 15 at the time and although the youth were prepared by our leaders about what this dedication meant, I didn't understand the true reason of the temple until I was in that sealing room with my soon-to-be husband staring back at me. And more so now as I've grown to love and appreciate what temple work means to me.

And today was another one of those days where I could see how the Lord has blessed this vast valley with another temple. The dedicatory prayer, offered by Pres. Monson, was beautiful, but I have another favorite memory.....when Pres. Eyring told about how he loves it here, although he lives in Utah. He told about visiting his grandparents when he was young and even though they didn't have much, they made family visits so special. He grew to love his time here and it holds a special place in his heart. The new Gila Valley temple is so pretty.....I love the beautiful landscaping & the tall windows over the gracious front doors. And as the temple matron said in our session, ".....this temple will be filled more than you know...." looking towards Pres. Monson with tears in her eyes. Yes, it will. And the future Gilbert Temple will be a great blessing to those of us who live close

And be filled, too.

I love my temple blessings. I love listening to our prophet and his counselors express their love for us. And I love how Christ can bless our lives through temple worship.

My trials are hard right now. They seem to be never ending and at times it feels like I suffer alone day in and day out. But I am worthy to enter the temple. And I do have ways to get there. And I know how I feel when I'm there. That's what gets me by. And today was a great reminder.