Mama and Baby

See, there is the face again: "Mom, what are you doing?"

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

The cutest thing happened the other day. I held Josh up in front of the mirror and he just stared at his reflection. He would smile and this kid smiled back at him. He would make a confused face and so did the kid. He thought it was funny at first but I think it confused him pretty bad, he had no idea who this other kid was his mom was holding and he didn't like it. It sure was funny though. :)

Moments of Josh

This is one of his favorite looks around me. It says: "Mom, what are you doing? I am very nervous with you acting this way." He makes so many faces, it is like he already talking, but without saying anything. Even since he was teeny-tiny, he would raise his eyebrows and make faces. He is so cute.

This is of him smiling, almost. It is so hard to get him to smile in pictures because the flash drives him crazy.

This is from his first bath, isn't he the stinkin chubbiest kid? His tummy is huge!

And this last picture is so funny. Kenni gave Tyson a toy gun for Christmas and Tyson loves to stick the little target bullets unto Josh's head. It is so funny, he looks like a little dinosaur. So funny!

Insomnia

So for the past few days I just can’t fall asleep. Tyson falls asleep early (usually as soon as we start reading scriptures) hehe, and Josh finally goes to sleep around 11 and I just stay up, laying there in bed for so long, trying to fall asleep but all the things I need to do keep running through my mind. And it is little things like checking my email, just random things that can totally wait until morning. It is so frustrating. I wonder if I am a writer and so I just need to put things down on paper and my thoughts are getting so piled up that they just can’t lay dormant anymore. Perhaps that is it. Who knows? So if I write a ton of blogs, that is because I can’t sleep. ;)

Twilight

Perhaps some of you have heard of this book, but for those of you who haven’t, it is great. I am reading the series for the second time now. I know, a book about vampires seems dumb, but it really is good. It is like going back in time to high school and all the silly romance and worries and it is just so much fun. Tyson teases me because I think every body is a vampire now. Seriously, you should read them, especially Heather, I really think you will like them. The main character, Bella, reminds me of you. Not so much the way she acts, but the way she thinks. I just love her to pieces. But maybe you won’t like them, but I think you will.

Parenting

Being a mom is probably the best thing in my life. I love it so much. I have never been so tired, never been so worried, and never been so happy and fulfilled. When people talk about being single, or "kidless," I sometimes get jealous, because I don't have that freedom anymore. Every decision I make effects Josh. Even at 12 weeks old, he is starting to mimick me. He smiles when I smile, and gets anxious when I'm upset. The burden is immense, much more than I ever imagined. But I have never had such a rewarding experience either. When he learns something new, I feel like it should be national news. And my favorite is that I am his world. He looks to me for comfort, for food, for rest, and for love. It is so terrifying and yet so special, I just cannot explain it. I do not ever blame people for waiting to have kids, because sometimes I wish we could have been more prepared, but I also wish everyone could know this happiness. I know all of you will love being moms, but take my advice and live it up while you aren't. Cuz once you're a mom, you're a mom for eternity. It's great, and I would never go back, but the Lord gives you time to get ready for a reason. :)

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! (a day late)
I love this day, I just love holidays. So Tyson and I switch up who is in charge of Valentine's Day and our anniversary. So this year, I was in charge of V-day. So I hid cards all over the house, and I took him on a date to where we had our first kiss two years ago on v-day. It was freezing, so our date lasted like 5 min, but it was still way fun. He gave me a dozen yellow roses and tons of chocolate, I was so excited because I didn't even expect anything. I have to say having a husband is such a blast. He is so much fun and he loves to suprise me, which is so fun because I love suprises. But anyways, I keep going off, I wanted to say that I got a hair cut yesterday and I totally have bangs now. It is kind of weird and I feel like a shaggy dog, but I think it looks way cute. I will post a picture as soon as we find the cord to the camera...
I love you all!!!

Bad Dream makes me realize a Good Life

So last night I had a dream, or nightmare I guess

I should say, about what would have happened if I had decided not to marry Tyson. I was standing on the steps to a huge building in a gorgeous wedding dress but I wasn't marrying Tyson, I can only assume that it was Mike I was going to marry. And it was like my baby, all our memories never happened. And there I was standing there at the pinacle moment of my life, and I had chosen a different path. I felt lost and empty without my honey bunches (that's what I call Tys). I knew that I couldn't marry anyone else, that my heart was and always would be with Tyson. I woke up to the early morning light seeping through the blinds, the murmur of rain on the windows and the roof, and my little baby Joshua breathing in my ear. I sat up and looked over and there was my wonderful husband who is so good to me and I have never been so happy and relieved to know that a dream was just a dream. Tyson is crazy and so funny and so perfect for me. I was always a sucker for love stories, and it is cheesy, but just the thought of not having the husband I do, I know everything would be different, I would be a totally different person, and I would have been so hallow without him. I am so thankful that the Lord let me choose what I wanted most and He helped me figure out what was best for me.