Was reading the sunday papers when i came across 1) the contract for services of honeytrappers and 2) the expectations of Singapore women on their dates.

1) There are already many factors that test any relationship. why bother setting a trap to see if the other party will succumb? the whole affair reeks of selfishness and mistrust, as if they will only be gratified if the trap ensnares the prey. this whole concept plays solely on the vulnerability of human beings and im not so sure if the hunter will be fully convinced IF the first time round failed. try for countless times and im sure u'd succeed, with your pockets much lighter i guess. so go ahead, gratify your self-righteousness and make urself broke at the same time. it's the only logical thing to do when you are already convinced but have no evidence:) ignorance is sometimes bliss but ignorance and a dash of trust is nirvana in a day when we increasingly dont know what is what.

if you cant trust ur partner to behave, then it is already over. using honey trappers to gain evidence to get out and a fat parting sum is wholly unethical and deplorable. burn in hell, whores. human beings are creatures of affection and inundating assaults on the emotional core will cause even the most resilient to buckle, unless of course he is a saint or his emotional core has been removed. then i'd say that there is a future for androids cos we really want 101% loyalty and it may be cheaper to get a dog. it doesnt really help when you dangle all my favourite foods in front of me when im on a diet. lust VS gluttony, which is the greater sin? for greater effect, use money instead of food.

perhaps these people have failed to see that something is lacking(love, care, concern, communication) or refuse to believe that there is an inherent problem in their relationships so they are adamant that the fault doesnt lie with them. get a life. people always choose to take the easy way out. it is never easy to take the first step to communicate the problem (education takes generations!) but all it takes to point the finger is to lift it. hasnt it always been the case since the proliferation of radical extremists? disillusioned with the way the world is going(im beginning to see why), they destroy with reckless abandonment, hoping to use fear to control the people and hoping to shape the world as they really want to see it. bet historians all over the world would be turning in their graves cos we didnt see world being cocooned in peace and immense joy under the rule of adolf hitler. these are warped cases of mahatma ghandi gone wrong and im glad that the human psyche is more resilient than that.

2) even though the sample size of Lifestyle's survey is small and could be an inaccurate representation of the general female population in our beloved motherland, i have to be concerned with the random sample of 200 persons in the survey for who knows, this randomness may be a fair representation of the the huge sample space of say, 2 million(thanks squirrel!)? this is especially so when the responses resonate so deeply with most, if not all of them (JC students can only dream of such scores).

no doubt confident, assertive and practical, i cannot deny that women are equally as capable as men in most if not all aspects of life, save the inherent physiological differences. but take a look at female bodybuilders and all notions of that would go to the wind. i digress. all the talk about equal opportunities at the work place, and women rights (i dont see no men's charter or people brandying men's rights)is purely hypocritical when they expect to be treated as the fairer sex when it comes to dating. admittedly, acts such as opening and holding of doors are social graces that should be encouraged and in fact should not only be limited to the opposite gender. however, free meals, safety escort services, "celebrations" and dressing up and not having to carry handbags really seem to weigh alot on the list for ladies, but dont they only reflect a deeper sense of insecurity that underlie the facade of confidence and independence? it just screams superficiality and shallowness in mindset and thinking. and it doesnt really help that an even greater overwhelming majority of men would like to conform to these stereotypes, perhaps just for the sake of ingratiating themselves with their dates(i cant really say girlfriends. maybe girlfiends)

it is with little wonder why divorce rates are skyrocketing when relationships are based on such superficial matters cos the foundations are not deeper than 6 feet underground. moreover, putting the pressure on men to perform certain things makes it a lopsided relationship and it is not difficult to see why there are increasing difficulties in today's relationships. how long can you deceive yourselves? granted, some may argue that paying for meals, bringing her home, holding "celebrations" and dressing up and carrying handbags can be seen as willingness to provide for the other, concern for her safety, placing her as a top priority and catering to her every whim can be seen as his true devotion to the cause. ever wondered how mutual consent to intercourse is not rape but one-sided insistence is? it may be a bit far-fetched but the point is that love, care and devotion is not regimentalised but cultivated by both sides. If pandering to each and every whim comes at the expense of total disregard for the other's life then our society would be better off making the economy more robust. i cant help but feel sorry that these over-romanticised notions of courtship that come from sensational western media have been totally imbibed without first being treated (damn disney and haapily-ever-after). and in comes all the sedimentation, and what-have-you. think NEWater minus the ultrafiltration and reverse osmosis and UV light treatment. there is no harm in the a little indulgence but one must stay firmly rooted to the ground, as is apparently not the case.

Dont take all those nice gestures for granted and be sure to reciprocate in kind. after all, it takes 2 to tango.

it feels good to be lost.

met with daren, jz, daniel and jimmy yesterday at JLN KAYU. it's supposed to have some really gd prata but in the end we went for the supposedly cheaper version which had more patrons. IMHO the food was so-so but because they forgot that we had chocolate prata so we had a discount. too full to talk. but we easily spent over 2 hours there talking about everything under the sun. kinda nostalgic and sad at the same time cos some were leaving for down under. and daren was so distressed that internet access would be limited there :D dont worry, we'll miss you. we may not all be in 483 but we were once 42/7. :) a pity that some people couldnt make it due to work commitments.

i've come to realise that agreeing to meet is largely a personal decision and is dependent on one's priorities. of course, circumstances vary and it's difficult to decide on a time that all are available since it is unfair to assume that everyone works 9-6 and has 2 off days every week that will fall on the weekend, but it can be disheartening to know that repeated attempts and early warnings have failed. thus i appreciated the effort from those who made time to come (who knows how long more before our numbers dwindle to a few) and i can only try to understand and respect the decision of of those who chose not to or who were unable to come. of course, after a harrowing day, one can be rather hard-pressed for an early retreat to fight another day or to soldier on. and i can truly understand that because i hated the times when i only had time for work because everything seemed urgent(and why is that so) and had no time for food (terrible days. at least we could eat outfield),home,friends and other social activity. my colleague had said that, "there is a time to learn and there is a time to earn." despite not having earned much, i believe i had learned much from my previous stint, especially wrt assimilating new processes, understanding human office behaviour, understanding the type of worker that i am and most importantly, work-life balance(well, it does seem that i have a certain fatal attraction to being overwork and underpaid, but that's another story altogether). i dont have to care what others think(the world is overpopulated anw) cos that will only restrain my full potential, as long as i know what i want.

so despite feeling really lazy, sleepy and abit funny in the alimentary canal, i dragged my reluctant self to meet my classmates from 2-7 at AMK despite having been there only slightly less than 2 hours ago and i nvr regretted it. effort comes in more ways than 1. :)



also met brandon and kp yesterday afternoon and amos yest evening. came to the conclusion of how shady the world we live in is. so much upselling and ripping off. and shortchanging. i think whoever started the anti-capitalist movement was probably disillusioned with reality. but as always, advocate moderation. and stay away from bad, avaricious influences. i shall not be so trusting anymore. if you cant kick ass from down here, get up there and bang all the tables. grow up, you.

stop it

As we celebrate new year after new year, donning red and exchanging mandarin oranges and red packets, how much of the symbolism and meaning of Lunar New Year has been retained in our world of instant gratification, hedonism and capitalism. What then, is the significance of the Lunar New Year?

A chance to make merry (as with all other holidays) to indulge in our Dionysian urges, feast (get fat and try for the rest of our lives to get rid of those excesses), and stop working for a couple of days all in the name of tradition? As scientific advances and technology breakthroughs forge ahead, do we still make a gigantic ruckus on NY's eve to chase away the mythological demon? Or make an attempt at not sleeping into the New Year to preserve the longevity of our parents (more like stories to instill filial piety, especially to those who are tied to mama's apon strings)? And how much does the symbolism of the red packet weigh against what is inside the exquisite red papers (i suppose some ppl will be happy when it's black if it contains a few more 0s at the end)? Why then do we wear red (new fabric at that), decorate the house with "auspicious" items (someone tell me why they are considered so), and have certain things for CNY that we normally do not have despite our rising affluence.

Somehow, all festive seasons have become lucrative tools of the service industry to commit licensed robberies, not as if prices are not rising fast enough. No offense to those in the service industry but it just feels like evil ideas of greeee-day corporations. Want bak gwa? Queue for 2 hours and i will sell you at an auspicious price of $50 per kilo, chao-tar parts included. A hassle to prepare reunion dinner? Make a reservation with us for an auspicious price of $8888 for a table of 10. (Fine print: due to overwhelming response, we cannot guarantee the quality of our food and service.)

As you can clearly see by now, im not the most festive person around but i do appreciate the chance to get together and get a glimpse of so-and-so, to catch up on one another's lives and just to huddle together to watch TV and comment on the lousy food this year cos of the lousy caterer who charged an exorbitant price just because of the festive season. Each holiday, the ingredients on the plates change but the central idea is to get together. Why then do we have to wait till the holidays to do so and get so caught up in other things through the year? Must we have a government declared PH before doing so only to suffer from bad traffic and flaring tempers of ppl who do not get offered seats just because they are crumbling under the weight of overaged toddlers(brats)?

And before we totally loose all the significance and symbolism of the Lunar New Year(the irony of such a holiday, then)and for that matter, all other major festivals, someone enlighten me on why certain things must be done in certain ways before they become a matter of going through the motion. and for that matter, before the traditions and symbols get overpowered by Marketing Execs with PhDs in sociology and human nature.



I saw the bus stop as i was walking down the overhead bridge just now. brought back memories. Having used it for over 10 years, it feels strangely alive.

it had been a hectic 2 months, with no nights and no days. only work, 14 hours a day and counting, wkends included. it had been a rewarding experience nonetheless but everything should be taken in moderation. met many new people in a short span of 2 months - funny thing is everyone had their strengths but everyone else seemed to be focusing on the other meaningless things. so weird, working relations. im sure they are just too adult to admit it. :) i wanted to test my limits and i got it - the endless late nights in NS paid off, having survived a 7-day workweek totaling 82.5 hrs and continuing the following week with equal amounts of man-hours. i think i need some pain to feel alive, some sort of fatal attraction to such...torturous jobs? and at the end of it i didnt feel relief or jubilation but just...confusion. "it's over?" i complain about work so much but i feel equally lost without something to do. Thus, this break wont last too long as before long i will be too bored. Michael Pollan said in "The Botany of Desire" that boredom arises not because of a lack of things to do but because of the human mind's protective mechanism against wonder. imagine feeling the same sense of wonder everytime you do something, as if each time was your first time. i think it would overwhelm but then perhaps it would rid the world of boredom. and that, is mankind's fascination with intoxication.

i like the feeling of suddenly putting an end to the adrenaline rush. of being able to lie on my back, damp shirt plastered against my back and the hard wooden bench. and watch the leaves of the rain tree jiggling against the vast, endless sky and feeling the cool breeze swirling on my flushed cheeks. and sensing the changing intensity of sunlight due to passing clouds, losing the notion of time as it got replaced with a gradually slowing heartbeat. i wish i could be lost in that forever but that is a luxury best left in novels and fairy tales.




Happy CNY to one and all! As we celebrate the many Christmases, New Years and Lunar New Years, and flood the network with endless SMSs (even though i dont have a habit of doing so), i'd like to take some time off to remember the many wonderful people that ive met in the past donkey years. and it is the beginning of the end of humankind as we know it??? (what did i just write?)