YeeHaw! -- The Coca-Cola Caper

Raw Video...


Yeah, that's a Coke machine. Dude snatched it from the front of a Dollar General Store in Riceville, Tennessee. Just wrapped a big chain around it and took off down the highway. It wasn't long before concerned citizens called the cops. After a chase of several miles, he was tazed for his trouble and charged with vandalism, evading arrest, resisting arrest, and theft. See how many cola related puns you can count in the local newscast.

the local newscast (WVTC-9)...

Idiots

So I'm a news junkie, but my tastes tend toward the political. I don't pay much attention to celebrity news or the offbeat human interest stories. I'm not even sure why I clicked on the story about the supermarket that wouldn't write "Adolph Hitler" on a birthday cake. I think it was just curiosity, wondering who in the hell was celebrating Adolph Hitler's birthday, and wondering if it was, in fact, Adolph Hitler's birthday. I forgot to get him anything last year.

As it turns out, two twisted individuals have scarred their young son for life by naming him Adolph Hitler Campbell. My favorite part of the story? This tidbit...

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name."

Well, duh, Sherlock. Did you ever stop to think there might be a reason for that? It bad enough to name a poor helpless kid Adolph, but making Hitler his middle name ranks right up there with leaving the kiddies in the car with the windows rolled up in the middle of August while you pick up a few items in the store. But if you're going to name him that you might as well plaster the full name in icing on the tyke's birthday cake.

Idiot of the Month: Michelle Malkin (Special Lifetime Achievement Award)

When I started this blog I had a little feature called "Idiot of the Month." I discontinued it after just a couple of installments, but the time has come to bring the "IotM" back and give a special lifetime achievement award for idiocy to Michelle Malkin.

I first ran across Malkin when she was making the rounds promoting her book In Defense of Internment: The Case for "Racial Profiling" in WWII. As an Asian-American woman (she is of Filipino descent), it was more than a little odd to hear her arguing that it was a good thing that the United States interred Japanese-Americans during the war, but whatever floats your boat... A short time later I ran across her on TV defending poor, misunderstood Joseph McCarthy. That was when I marked her down as special...short bus special. She's gone on to write other books: Invasion: How America Still Welcomes Terrorists, Criminals and Other Foreign Menaces to Our Shores and Unhinged: Exposing Liberals Gone Wild. Of course, there's always a place for such special people on Faux News, but she left after Geraldo Rivera's outburst in a Boston Globe interview...

"Michelle Malkin is the most vile, hateful commentator I've ever met in my life," he says. "She actually believes that neighbors should start snitching out neighbors, and we should be deporting people. It’s good she’s in D.C. and I’m in NY. I’d spit on her if I saw her.”

Like Ann Coulter, controversy follows Malkin around. Where there is none, she invents it in the recesses of her special little mind. Everyone by now has heard the latest. Dunkin Donuts had an online ad featuring Rachael Ray. Ray is wearing a black and white scarf with fringe and a paisley pattern. Most people didn't think anything about it, but Malkin saw a keffiyeh, which means jihad or terrorism or Islamic extremism or something insidious to her warped, twisted, special little mind. Malkin got all the other mouth-breathers excited and Dunkin Donuts ended up pulling the ad. Hey, they were just trying to sell some iced coffee.

John Scalzi had a great take on the "controversy" at Whatever, with a look at what Dunkin Donuts's press release would have said had they been able to be brutally honest...

Because Michelle Malkin is so appallingly stupid and/or ignorant that it appears that she can’t tell the difference between a paisley scarf and a kiffiyeh, we’re pulling our ad of Rachel Ray enjoying our iced coffee. We do hope that once Ms. Malkin extracts her head from between her own ass cheeks, she stops by one of our many establishments and samples one of our fine iced coffees, any one of which undoubtedly tastes much better than the crap that typically fills her mouth, via her brain, at any given time.

Idiot of the Month: Don LaRose aka Ken Williams

Ken Williams, the mayor of Centerton, Arkansas, resigned on Wednesday and told authorities an interesting tale. It goes something like this...

He was born Don LaRose, and in the mid-70s he was a preacher in Indiana with a wife and two kids. He was kidnapped and brainwashed by Satan worshipers and forgot all about being Don LaRose until recently when he took a truth serum. He took the name -- Bruce Kent Williams - from a man who died in a car crash in 1959.

Here's where it gets really good...

The information went public, Williams said, because he runs a Web site about Don LaRose and his disappearance. LaRose's former family found the Web site and started inquiring about its author. They found the site registered to a Ken Williams and went from there.

Williams said his current wife is standing by him and the two of them want to continue living in Centerton. He said he plans to continue living as Ken Williams.

Also, his resignation was signed with two names, he said.

According to police, Williams is under no investigation for any wrongdoing.

I guess polygamy is not a crime in Arkansas. A local television station has video of this idiot.

Idiot of the Month: Tn. State Rep. Rob Briley

Like the Photo of the Day which might not be daily, this might not actually be something I do every month. I guess it depends on how often the idiots rear their heads. Some months I might have to do a poll listing three or four and take votes on who gets the prize. I hate that I have to give the inaugural award to a Democrat.

Let's hear it for Tennessee State Representative Rob Briley (D-Nashville) who led police on a 100-mph chase before eventually being arrested for DUI, evading arrest, vandalism (he kicked out a window of the police cruiser) and several lesser offenses. The punchline? Until Saturday, he was the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee and was also on a study committee to recommend changes in the state's DUI laws. He remains a state representative but has stepped down from the committees. Lawmakers are said to be "mixed" on his legislative future.

Of course, someone has posted the dashboard camera video of his arrest on YouTube...



Like most of us, he handled things really well until they snapped the handcuffs on. If you didn't get enough on Part 1, there's also a Part 2 of the video.