Influenza. The definition has always seemed obscure to me.
The term “flu” seemed like it was applicable to anything. When someone vomits
for a day, they call it a 24 hour flu, but it is often described as more of a
severe cold which sometimes turns to bronchitis or pneumonia, and sometimes can
be deadly. Of course the bird flu and the swine flu, and don’t forget the H1N1
flu, all got mixed up in the picture and I realized that people displaying
animal like behavior may also be diagnosed with the flu and are highly
contagious, which is why I avoid going down to the strip.
Well, this week I contracted the “official” flu and
discovered why the name is so easily confused with so many things. The fact is,
the real flu is not just a runny nose, sore throat, a cough or a fever: it
actually encompasses every symptom the body’s immune system can possibly throw
out there. The name actually derives
from the latin roots: “In” [meaning ‘in’] “flu” [‘every possible way’] “enza” [‘terrible
illness’]. You may have recognized these roots from the word ‘in-flu-ence,’ or [‘in’]
[‘every possible way’] [‘people do what you say’]. (See: Gregorchianmur, Latin Can Mean Whatever You Want it To Because Nobody Checks
References, 2012, p. 308)
It all started with
the feeling of nausea and exhaustion, which, being pregnant, I attributed to it
being a normal day. Then I got extremely cold and my whole body began to ache.
The body aches worsened and forbade any form of sleep the first night. By 2
a.m. I gave up on sleep and started cleaning and making bread. Then I had the
brilliant idea that I might take a Tylenol. Having been pregnant or nursing at
every moment of my life since 2006, the idea of taking a drug to relieve symptoms
has ceased to occur to me, but I realized this case may justify a pain killer
and Tylenol was supposed to be safe during pregnancy. So I took 2 capsules, and
then drew a hot bath with some Epsom salt. The bath really helped, but because
I couldn’t keep from vomiting a few times, I lost all the Tylenol I had taken
and continued a pretty restless night.
The next morning I continued with the vomiting, chills, headache,
and severe body aches, but then my immune system threw in a runny nose and diarrhea.
This is where the animal like behavior began as well. I watched my children
dump cereal, cracker crumbs, and banana peels all over my floor, the dishes,
garbage, toys and everything else piled up everywhere, and I stayed on the
couch and let it happen. You could definitely call it a swine flu at this
point. Nathaniel had left his phone in the car all day so he was unaware of the
state of things until he came home anticipating a nice lunch and discovered a
barn. He took off work the rest of the
day to take care of me and the kids, and started to clean the swine’s quarters,
but by evening time, even Immuno Man (the guy who misses every disease we go
through) started getting chills, fever, nausea and body aches.
By day 3 we added a cough and a sore throat to my list and
Nathaniel began piling on all the same symptoms I had acquired. Also, there
appeared to be some brain impairment as well, as all the productive things we
could be doing from our sick bed like reading or writing were all but
impossible to perform, thus leaving us to the sole occupation of watching Judge
Judy and People’s Court episodes on You-Tube throughout the entire day.
Nathaniel discovered these shows one boring night when I had taken a girls
night out with some friends and has since become one of daytime televisions
most loyal evening watching fans thanks to You Tube. He seems to feel so much
better about his life to see pathetic people
get what’s coming to them by these quick witted judges. We found it had
medicinal qualities as well for people lying in bed all day with fever, chills,
etc. etc. etc., but its cheering effects were not as potent as we had hoped
because the contrast to our own lives was becoming frightfully less apparent.
Instead of being able to say, “Wow, these people are pathetic! So glad we do
not live our lives anything like that!” we can at least say, “See! Other people
are pathetic too!” We think this may be the appeal for most of the daytime
watchers.Day four progressed into a very deep and painful chest cough with heightened congestion and sustained fever, and the house had progressed to be all but unbearable. Day five and six has been more of the same, but I’m happy to say we’ve had the energy enough to begin sifting through the ruble in our home and the semblance of order has begun to return.
Is the “everything illness” done unveiling its symptom
surprises yet? We can only hope. At least I have not broken out in cankering
boils. But I am starting to believe the mortality rates of influenza could be
underestimated given that they only track those who actually contract the disease.
I am curious how many of their children do not survive the overdose of mac and
cheese and Disney movies or the treacherous condition of the home during their
parents’ infirmity. I also wonder how many spouses kill over from the barrage
of complaints for every symptom known to man. We may never know the real
statistics here. I just hope that my little family can recover.
