Come on down

Things to note:

• I was functioning on 3 hours of sleep
• It was a brand new car. It’s only natural that my adrenaline would go into overdrive.
• No, I will not repeat these awesome dance moves for you in person.

Digital Television

Found this video. It's funny because it's true. The digital transition at the retirement home was a nightmare. We're still feeling the effects of it, but it has calmed down significantly.

I know it's small, but it's the only legal copy I could find since they took it off Hulu.

It comes from "Talkshow with Spike Feresten" on Fox.
Click here for video.

Beware the Ides of July

Everybody warns you about the Ides of March, but you hardly ever hear anybody talk about the Ides of July.

Today:

• The department of health services continued their annual inspection of our care center. They started yesterday and will be here until Friday.
• The department of social services showed up unannounced for our assisted living facility.
• LAPD came by my office to ask a few questions. They were just conducting an investigation about somebody in our neighborhood. (We didn't know him)
  
• 3 employees had car accidents
• I was one of them, and mine was a hit and run. Don't worry. I'm ok, I got the license plate #, and a police report has been filed. It's not like my car was in the nicest condition to begin with...although it did drive. A few months ago I had an accident, but that one was fixed with packing tape.

(Notice the tape holding the bumper on. Click on photo to enlarge)

I'm thinking that tape just isn't going to cut it for this one.

Anybody selling a cheap, reliable, used car?
Anybody want to buy a cheap, unreliable, abused car?

Avuncular meanness: A quantitative study

AVUNCULAR MEANNESS:
A QUANTITATIVE STUDY

S. GeroStudent
M. Moo

INTRODUCTION

For many years, Uncle Craig has asserted with some pride that he is the meanest uncle (ChickenSteven, 2007). Up until now this has only been supported with anecdotal evidence and shameless self promotion. Our review of previous literature has found no published works on avuncular meanness. This study is the first to quantitatively assess the relative meanness of Uncle Shaun and Uncle Craig.

METHODS

Subject, a four year old boy, was recruited using a convenience sample. The child was given an oral structured interview and asked to assign a linear estimate of meanness for each uncle. A baseline was established by having the child assign a linear estimate for paternal meanness as well. Three trials were performed to ensure the reliability of this measure. Interrater reliability was achieved using two independent evaluators in conjunction with photo documentation.

RESULTS

How mean is dad?


How mean is Uncle Shaun?


How mean is Uncle Craig?


DISCUSSION

There was high agreement between the two evaluators. No significant differences were found between the baseline, paternal meanness, and the relative meanness of Uncle Shaun (p<.05). The findings, however, did not support Uncle Craig's original hypothesis. Statistically significant differences were noted between all trials for Uncle Craig and Uncle Shaun with relative meanness for Uncle Craig consistently scoring lower than both Uncle Shaun and the child's father (p<.01). Although not within the scope of this study, the evaluators did note a qualitative difference in the subject's facial expressions that further supported our findings.

CONCLUSION

Although the data did not support the Uncle Craig Hypothesis, we feel that this study represents groundbreaking work in the area of avuncular meanness. The methodology is novel and lends itself well to our follow up study: Avuncular Nerdiness.

Hornectomy

Five years ago I was sitting in a class at BYU resting my head against my hand when I felt a small lump. It wasn't really visible in the mirror, but I could definitely feel something. So I ignored it. It got bigger to the point where I had a few doctors look at it over the years. They all said the same thing. It's a sebaceous cyst. Just wait. Sometimes they go away. Come back if it gets bigger. Finally it became big enough that I would would usually just keep my hair long enough to flop over it. Otherwise I would get, "Oh no! What did you do to your head?" Due to its location, I affectionately referred to it as my horn.

A rare photo where the horn was actually visible
(circa 1 year ago)

In my last doctors appointment when I brought it up I was given the option. "You can either have a scar or a lump. It's up to you." That was an easy decision. I picked scar. Scars are rugged and manly. Lumps...are...well freakish.

So today I showed up to work like this. By far the top two guesses were "You got beat up by your girlfriend didn't you?" and "Did you fall?" So basically I'm either in an abusive relationship or I'm accident prone.

Anyway, I'm pleased with the results. Turns out 4 doctors were wrong. It wasn't a sebaceous cyst. Turns out it was a lipoma. Neither are serious. This picture was taken 12 hours after the surgery.There are 4 faint dots that show how big it was. I think they did a nice job keeping the scar small considering the size. I get my stitches removed in a week.

And now for the news

I forget what news looks like in other parts of the world. Here the local news is somewhat of a cross between regular news and Entertainment Tonight. Today while at the laundromat I got to catch the afternoon news. It went something like this.

For our lead story we take you to Hollywood where a crowd of fans and mourners are gathered as part of a vigil to pop star Michael Jackson.

---(Reporter interviews people on the street)----

And now for world news. In Hong Kong, hundreds of Michael Jackson fans gathered today to remember the King of Pop who passed away yesterday in his home. The crowd joined together in singing "We are the world".

In other news, in Moscow people took to the streets in the largest moonwalk parade in history. Fans moonwalked for several blocks as trucks carrying sound equipment blasted "Thriller" and "Remember the Time".

Now we go to John with politics.

Thank you Susan. During his regular briefing meeting yesterday President Barack Obama expressed his condolences to the Jackson Family stating that Michael Jackson was a "spectacular performer and musical icon".

And now for the weather.

It's a beautiful yet tragic day here in Los Angeles. With sunny skies and highs in the 80s don't forget your sunscreen when you head out to one of the Michael Jackson vigil sites being held at various locations today.

That's it for tonight, but stay tuned tomorrow as we bring you exclusive details on the funeral that will be held for Farah Fawcett

Being isolated in my Hollywood bubble, I wonder was this how it was everywhere or was this unique to LA? Was there actual real news today? If so, please let me know so that I can stay current.

**Disclaimer, I was only half listening to the news so I might have some of those details wrong. Also, here's an article that I found amusing about fans gathering at the wrong star in Hollywood.

Wedding, Friends, and Monuments

I took my first vacation since starting my grownup job. I went out to DC to visit friends and then drive down to North Carolina for a wedding. While in DC I stayed with my friends Neal & Candice and during the day would meet up with my friend Kathy to sightsee. It was a quick trip, four days in DC and 1 day in NC. It was kind of like trying to do Disneyland in 1/2 a day, but we managed to squeeze in a lot in a short amount of time.


Not pictured: The international Spy Museum, The Vietnam War Memorial, and on my last day after Kathy left I went to the Holocaust Museum.

New Camera

In preparation for my upcoming trip to the east coast for a friend's wedding, I went out to buy a new camera. My last one broke 4 1/2 years ago, and I'm just now getting around to replacing it. After a little research, I ended up getting an Olympus FE-370.

I must admit that so far I'm quite pleased with my purchase. It has cool features that I don't really understand yet. It has both smile and face detection modes as well as 17 other modes. Cameras sure have improved since my last one...or at least they have more features. Of course I had to try it out, and what better way to try it out then by going over to visit my nephews.

As you can tell this camera is great for portraits, action shots, and photo evidence that I am the best uncle ever.






Notice how it detected all four faces here. Yep. They're all there.

.
Is there any doubt why I'm the favorite uncle? (no offense to all their uncles who might read this. I'm sure they love you too.)

Ethan was very intrigued by the smile detection and face detection features. When it was his turn to say the family prayer he asked that I would be blessed to figure out how to work the smile detection. I was hoping he would pray that I would get into med school, but I guess I'll take whatever blessings I can get.

And just because I was trying out ALL the features (at least all the ones that I could figure out), here are 2 videos. Scott didn't realize I was recording and was doing anything he could to try and get me to take his picture.

Ladies Man

Zak Efron has nothing on me. He may be big with the tweens, but I have tapped into a much larger demographic. A few stories from yesterday to demonstrate my point.

Walking through the lobby I heard Cassie call out, "Hello Darling!" I gave a quick wave to Cassie and the two ladies with her. As I turned I heard "Hello honey!" Turning back around I saw LaJune trying to look innocent. With that Ordella, not to be left out, yelled, "Hello Sweetie Pie!"Anyone who knows me well knows that I am not a huge fan of terms of endearment. Sweetie, honey, or dear will usually cause my stomach to churn. But somehow when an 80 year old calls me darling it just makes me smile.

Later that afternoon I was walking through the lobby again when I saw Barbara. As Barbara thanked me for something I did for her Stella piped up, "He's helping you?" "Don't be jealous, Stella," I teased. "But I want you all for myself. You're just too popular. All the ladies love you."

Same lobby, even later. This time it was Julia. "It's good to see you, Julia." "It's always good to see you. You know why? Because you're a mensch. You know what that is? Somebody really special." If an honest to goodness yiddishe mama said it, it must be true.

I wasn't the only ladies man in the lobby yesterday. Same location. Different characters. Arthur, a resident, took it upon himself to greet every visitor who came into the lobby. One of these visitors came in and gave him a huge hug. Later when she came back she gave him a huge hug and a kiss on a cheek. "Hey Shaun, you know that woman who just came in? I have no idea who she is." Smiling, he added, "I still have it."

Aging

As a gerontologist I often try to see aging through rose colored lenses. I share stories of flirtatious centenarians, talk about how rewarding my job is, and from time to time share funny quotes and stories. The truth of the matter is aging is hard. The body slows down, you can't do what you used to do, and you begin to lose many of your friends to death. They say that stereotypes are there for a reason, and although contrary to popular belief we aren't just eating jello and creamed corn at the retirement home, many of the ageist views we hold as a society have an element of truth.

Some of the most ageist individuals are old people themselves. In our retirement home we have all levels of care: independent living, assisted living, and also a small nursing home. When I first moved into the community I naively thought that having all levels of care would lead to an environment where higher functioning residents visited and assisted their friends who were living in the nursing home or receiving assisted living services. This does happen to a small degree, but mostly the residents try to ignore the lower functioning residents. In fact they can get quite upset if forced to deal with individuals who are losing physical or mental capacities. "They need to take her away. Nobody wants to look at that." The nursing home sits in the corner of campus, and residents try to avoid thinking about it. It's too personal for them. It's a reminder of what might be waiting for them.

Beyond just not wanting to associate with the frail, I've found that older adults will often marginalize themselves. Yesterday when I asked a resident if there was anything she needed, I wasn't surprised when she told me about a few things that she wasn't happy with in her room including her carpet. What did surprise me was her attitude about it. She explained, "I used to get down on my hands and knees and clean up the spots, but I'm too old for that now. If I were back in my own home, I'd call them up and demand for it to be cleaned. But that time is past now. It's too late for demanding. Now we just ask for things and hope that they get done."

All around me I see examples that prove the point made by the anthropologist Ashley Montagu when he said, "The idea is to die young as late as possible." Yesterday I asked a resident how he was doing. "Not so good, Shaun. Never get old" he told me. I responded, "Well there's only one way that I know of to keep that from happening, and I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet."

I am often asked how I can work in a field with people who are declining in health and dying. I guess it would be more than I could handle if that's all I saw and focused on. Yesterday alone we had a resident die, another get diagnosed with cancer, another move to a room closer to the nurses because she requires more help, and several more who either left for or returned from the hospital. Perhaps in some ways I'm no better than the residents. Sure, I'm dealing with the frail and the strong alike, but at the end of the day I'm not focusing on the negative. I'm just remembering that a resident called me at the end of my day to tell me she loved me. Yep. The world is looking quite rosy.

Out of the mouths of babes

Tonight I babysat my two nephews.

Uncle Shaun: Did you know that your Uncle Neal and I shared a room when we were at BYU? We had bunkbeds. Uncle Neal had the top bunk, and I had the bottom. We would stay up late talking...mainly about the girls we liked.

Ethan: But you're still not married. (Nothing like having a 6 year old point out your singlehood) Maybe you will never find the right one. (Ouch!!)

Uncle Shaun: I sure hope I do.

Ethan: I already found the right one. She's in my class at school. We both have crushes on each other.

He must get this from his mother (my sister-in-law). My side of the family tends to dither a little more when it comes to dating and commitment. Hmm...maybe I should be taking notes from nephew instead.

Jim (from the previous post) is moving tomorrow.

Me: Jim, you can't leave. Who will tell me when it's time to go home?

Jim: It is kind of late. What time is it?

Me: 6:20

Jim: Yeah. That's late. I'm moving out of state, but I like this place. I think I'll come back when I'm old.

Me: How old are you Jim?

Jim: I'll be 90 next January.

Home Life

At 5:08pm yesterday one of my residents appeared in the doorway of my office. This particular resident has dementia and is always accompanied by a caregiver. He looked rather upset.

Me: Hi Jim! How can I help you? (in my most cheerful voice to counteract his scowl)

Jim: What is wrong with you? Do you have a bad home life? Don't you like to go home?

Me: Don't worry about me Jim. I'm just finishing up some work and then I'll head home.

Jim: It's after 5. GO HOME!!

Me: Don't worry, Jim. I'll head home soon. I just have to finish up some work.

Jim: I'm not worried. You think I worry about you? Go home!

At that moment his caregiver showed up and encouraged him to leave me alone to do my work. The caregiver apologized to me which I found strange. Why do caregivers and family members feel that they have to apologize for the behavior an older person in their care? I had, in fact, loved the conversation and it gave me a nice distraction from the work keeping me there late.

Jim turned and walked out. As he was walking down the hall I heard him yelling. "Doesn't like his home. LOVES his job. What's wrong with him?"

Today it was 4:59pm when Jim showed up again at my door. This time he was smiling as he waited for me to acknowledge him.

Jim: Don't worry!

Me: Ok. I won't. You don't worry either.

Jim: You think I worry about you? But it's 5pm. What's wrong with your home life?

Me: Jim, I'm single.

Jim paused, and then flashed a big smiled as he put his hand to the side of his mouth as if to tell me a secret. "You're smarter than you look." With that he turned and left. Apparently it's ok for a single man to stay late.

Tag, I'm it!

My sister-in-law tagged me to do this 25 random things about myself thing. Anybody who feels so inclined may consider themselves tagged and join in the fun.

1. I love old people.
2. No really. I LOVE old people. I used to live in a retirement home until I got a full time job there, and they kicked me out.
3. Speaking of which, I am the director of resident services for a retirement community. I help out with social services, supervise the receptionists, and help new residents with their transition to life in the community.
4. I used to want to be a pediatrician. I loved kids. When I was 15 I babysat 3 children Mondays-Thursdays for 10 hours per day. On Fridays day I volunteered in the pediatric wing of the hospital.
5. I knew I was getting old when kids that I used to babysit started going to college. I really knew I was old when one of them got married.
6. I've applied to med school...twice. Last year I didn't get in. Hopefully the timing is right for this year. I'm waiting to hear back from Dallas and San Antonio.
7. I was born in Mexico City and am dual national.
8. I live in Hollywood with two aspiring actors.
9. If I don't eat or sleep enough I get really grouchy.
10. I hate seafood. That includes shrimp and sushi.
11. I really hate to dance. I'd rather eat sushi.
12. I love listening to music on pandora.com. It's a site where you input a few songs or artists that you like. Based on that it plays music that is supposed to be similar to your preferences. Oddly enough, one of the criteria that often pops up in the music I enjoy is "danceable grooves". Maybe I have an inner dancer in me trying to get out.
13. I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Guatemala City from 1999-2001.
14. My freshman year at BYU I would donate blood as often as I could. I was sad when I came home from Guatemala and they told me I had to wait 3 years until I could donate again.
15. Right before the 3 years were up I returned to Guatemala to live for 3 months in a Mayan village to do anthropology research. I had to wait another 3 years before I could donate.
16. I love to travel so I was disappointed when the 3 years were up and I could donate again. It meant it had been entirely too long since I had been anywhere cool. (obviously coolness is directly proportional to the likelihood of contracting some horrible disease) I have resumed donating blood pretty faithfully but long to go traveling again.
17. I own organ shoes. I took 5 semesters of organ lessons during college, but I'm feeling really rusty. I just started organ lessons again, and I'm pretty excited about them.
18. I'm comfortable with my nerdiness. You have to be pretty comfortable being a nerd if you're going to be a male clarinet player in the marching band. It doesn't get much nerdier than that.
19. Sometimes I will randomly think about what I would do if an earthquake hit at that very moment.
20. I like languages. I have studied Spanish, Hebrew, and a little K'iche'. I have an ever growing list of languages that I would love to learn.
    
21. Although I have never been to Israel, I have a strange affinity for the Jewish culture and the Hebrew language. The first time I really remember hearing Hebrew was in an old testament class my freshman year at BYU. I thought it was beautiful, and it brought tears to my eyes. I took 5 semesters of Hebrew and lived in the Hebrew house at the BYU foreign language housing.
22. When I was little I used to love to eat fluffernananutters (sandwiches with peanut butter, bananas, and marshmallow cream). I probably would still love eating them, but I can never bring myself to buy the marshmallow cream when I'm at the store.
    
23. I feel really guilty when I throw items away that could be recycled.
24. I have a few pairs of slacks that produce really bad static cling. I carry dryer sheets in my pockets so that I can rub them across my pants to reduce the static througout the day.
25. Did I mention that I love old people?
    

Classic Emails

Many people have commented that I don't share as many stories about the retirement home as I used to. I guess I'm a little wary of doing that now that I'm an employee, especially one who is in charge of social services. Much of what I do is confidential, and you never know who might be reading this blog. Suffice it to say work has been both stressful and rewarding.

So instead of sharing the present, I'll share the past. Today I was going through saved emails from 4 years ago. I found this great one from my sister-in-law who was providing me with "objective" reasons why I should consider attending USC. I'm glad they were there to help me make such a wise choice.


Top 10 Reasons that USC is the place for YOU

10. USC has a strong psychology dept, gerontology dept, a medical school, offers a minor in Jewish studies, and has a great marching band

9. You can wear shorts year round.

8. Cheap fares from LAX to anywhere you want to go, including Guatemala and Mexico

7. Ethnic food from wherever you want

6. The Hillel Jewish Studies Center is closer to campus than the LDS institute, which is only 1 block away.

5. Summer nights at the Hollywood Bowl (not football!) - concerts for one measly buck from such artists as the LA Philharmonic, John Williams, etc,, etc

4. You don't have to be a Spanish major to work as a Spanish lecturer at USC --- free tuition PLUS stipend!

3. Jon's Grocery Store (mmm- yogurt soda - love it!)

2. Free food at Erin, Michael, and Ethan's house

And the number one reason that USC is the place for you.......

If you go anywhere else, you'll never be able to complain about anything without hearing Michael say, "You should have come to USC!"

Top 7 Reasons why you don't belong at USC

7. "But I've always wanted to live through a hurricane!" (they only hit the East coast)

6. "Too much sunshine depresses me."

5. "I love East coast winters!"

4. "I can hardly wait to go apartment hunting in areas where I don't know anyone!"

3. "I'd rather cook Sunday dinner on my own."

2. "Video is just as good as seeing my nephew in person."

1. "There must be a hundred schools with good gerontology and psychology departments that offer a minor in Jewish studies, have a renowned medical school, and a great marching band!"

Economic Crisis

Overheard at the bank:

Customer speaking to a teller: I know I don't have good credit, but I really want to buy a macbook. I don't have the $1500. What should I do?

Overheard at Target:

Woman speaking on her cell phone: I am here to shop right now. Can't you extend my line of credit or something?. . . You don't understand. I'm here at the store right now! I am trying to shop. What can I do? . . . No, I'm at the store now!"

It all reminded me of a sketch from SNL for a revolutionary debt management program called "Don't buy stuff you cannot afford"



To be fair, let me say that I don't know the unique situations of these individuals. I don't know why the woman at the bank needed the Macbook, and I don't know what the woman was shopping for at Target. It could be there are legitimate reasons behind their purchases and need for credit.

Catching up

I know I haven't posted in a long time. Here's the quick, bullet-point version of what has happened in the interim.

• I moved out of the retirement home to a new apartment. The commute to work is short, and the price was ideal. The roof only leaks above the bathtub and one spot in my room (although they say they have fixed that now.) The neighborhood is safe-ish, and the police have only barricaded my street twice. Really, it's lots nicer than it sounds. You should come visit.

• My friend Kathy came into town on business for a month. She was extremely helpful in getting the apartment set up. When we weren’t shopping for stuff for the apartment, we were doing fun stuff like going to see Wicked, visiting our friends Chris and Amy in San Diego, or visiting some of the sights here in LA.

• I have two new roommates. Both are LDS. Both are aspiring actors. One is also a singer/dancer. It’s a lively apartment.

• I had two interviews for med school. One in Dallas and one in San Antonio. Now I’m just waiting impatiently.

• I attended my grandmother’s funeral in November. It was nice to see family and nice to think of Grandma reunited with her husband and many others of her loved ones.

• I got strep throat. It kept me away from the retirement home for several days. Two highlights from this experience: One of my residents sent me flowers. Another resident who has aphasia and always seems angry came by my office when I returned and shouted “I MISSED YOU!”

• I spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my brother and his family here in LA. It’s nice to have family close now that I have my real job and limited vacation days.

There. You're all caught up now.