I've been praying down a list of literally hundreds of names of unbelievers, put together by my church, from individual requests submitted by church members. The list is daunting... and soul-saddening... and gives me a more realistic picture of the vastness of the number of people that will be celebrating a holiday this weekend, created because of a Savior, whom they personally don't have a relationship with.
I got to thinking about all the world "offers" in competition to the One that offers something so much sweeter. There exists plenty of "pretty" in this world today. But we would be challenged to find anything pure, holy, or perfect outside of Jesus Christ. Our society gives so many other alternate things to follow and strive towards... money, success, popularity, good looks, fame, or even just a sense of control of one's life. I completely understand how one of these could look more appealing. In fact, I can't say that I, as a believer, don't struggle towards these things myself. That struggle will always be there. However, I have hope in the something Greater that is fighting for me and helping me overcome those temptations.
It almost makes me mad - mad that the world could be so enticing. It scares me with my children. I understand why some parents are overprotective or try and keep their children in a little "bubble" their whole lives. I guess some might say I am doing that by having my daughter in a private, Christian school. I think there's a fine line, though. They have to be brought up and trained to honor and learn about God, but not completely oblivious to the world they live in. My husband and I are trying to do that, but my heart almost stops when I think about what they might choose instead of a relationship with Jesus.
"...the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). We are told to be self-controlled and alert. I am praying that those people on the prayer list, including my children, will have open eyes and an awareness of that prowling lion and that they will run to the open, safe arms of the Savior, Jesus Christ. May you too find that safe, saving relationship this Christmas season. Merry Christmas!
Showing posts with label devo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label devo. Show all posts
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
[day 7] testing
My quiet time today finished out Acts 21. In this chapter, Paul has finished several missionary journeys and headed back to Jerusalem, where, what else but more persecution, awaits. The synopsis in the book I am using as a guide says, "Faith is not faith until it is tested." Paul's faith seemed to get stronger and stronger through every imprisonment and beating.
I introspectively turned to consider my life... it wasn't outside persecution, but my faith was tested when we lost Nathan. The very title I held, mother, was compromised. I still had Lynn, yes, but by losing my son, it was also a hit on the "job" I held, part of my identity.
My husband, close to two years ago (20 mos after losing Nathan), very similarly has his faith tested when he lost his job. He had to recheck his identity and his purpose when his title was taken from him.
This morning it hit me, as we have described these two losses as something very different in our lives. But honestly I think the trials were more similar than we've thought.
These trials as they were, have demanded actions of faith from us. Well, let me rephrase that. They have given us opportunity to display our faith. Would we continue to declare the truth - with our actions and words? We could have used these loses as excuses. Excuses to turn to find fulfillment elsewhere, excuses to turn our backs on God. Don't get me wrong, I am far far from perfect. At times we did turn elsewhere. We looked to find comfort in earthly things... past times like shopping, work, or internet surfing... emotions like deep sadness or anger (not that these emotions themselves are wrong, but by lingering in them or actions were un-Christlike in consequence)... relying solely on other people like friends, spouses, or characters in a book.
Kay Arthur writes this end-of-the-week synopsis in my study book:
Kind of a deep subject today.
I don't know if you are facing trials today or not, but may I encourage you to fight the good fight of the faith. Don't let what might be a very real excuse, keep you from the Savior.
I introspectively turned to consider my life... it wasn't outside persecution, but my faith was tested when we lost Nathan. The very title I held, mother, was compromised. I still had Lynn, yes, but by losing my son, it was also a hit on the "job" I held, part of my identity.
My husband, close to two years ago (20 mos after losing Nathan), very similarly has his faith tested when he lost his job. He had to recheck his identity and his purpose when his title was taken from him.
This morning it hit me, as we have described these two losses as something very different in our lives. But honestly I think the trials were more similar than we've thought.
These trials as they were, have demanded actions of faith from us. Well, let me rephrase that. They have given us opportunity to display our faith. Would we continue to declare the truth - with our actions and words? We could have used these loses as excuses. Excuses to turn to find fulfillment elsewhere, excuses to turn our backs on God. Don't get me wrong, I am far far from perfect. At times we did turn elsewhere. We looked to find comfort in earthly things... past times like shopping, work, or internet surfing... emotions like deep sadness or anger (not that these emotions themselves are wrong, but by lingering in them or actions were un-Christlike in consequence)... relying solely on other people like friends, spouses, or characters in a book.
Kay Arthur writes this end-of-the-week synopsis in my study book:
Are we going to turn back, to not declare truth if it costs us our freedom? [or for us, our "perceived identity," as our persecutions were not physically restricting.] How dare we! How will we never face our Lord without shame? How will we look Paul [main 'character' in Acts, amazing enemy-turned-follower of Christ] in the face in our eternity, when he was our example of what it meant to be a follower of our Lord?Shame. Yikes. That's the last thing I want to feel when I face my Lord at the moment of my death. I long for His embrace as a faithful servant. In the hard times and the easy.
Kind of a deep subject today.
I don't know if you are facing trials today or not, but may I encourage you to fight the good fight of the faith. Don't let what might be a very real excuse, keep you from the Savior.
Monday, October 3, 2011
[day 3] prayer & printer ink
Shew, ok. Time to take a breather from laundry and write a blog post. I hope yall had a great weekend. Knock out any excuses of your own perhaps?
I thought I'd write today about prayer. I've been giving in to the excuse of not having any printer ink to complete my quiet time. It's a sorry excuse really. You see I print out the chapters I am studying onto computer paper so that I can then go through and mark the words according to the study. (I don't have a problem writing in my Bible, but just don't have a Bible with enough room between words for marking!) I didn't have chapter 20 printed out before running out of ink, so I just stopped having a quiet time. Which meant I've slept in and also neglected having a time of prayer as well. Honestly, those days went horribly... I slept in (well, went back to sleep after hubby got up and headed to gym) which meant I woke when Lynn's alarm went off and then couldn't get my shower in before helping Lynn get ready for school and Zane waking up. So, shower time had to wait which just cut into my "me" time during Zane's naptime. Ugh. I am such a routine person, so adding that to a lack of quiet time with my Lord and my days were all thrown off!
Ok, so that was the excuse and the ramifications. Thankfully, today is a new day and I am back on track. I've printed out the next (& final) seven chapters of Acts. I started my day today with prayer as well. Not that today will go perfectly - I already feel like the proverbial headless chicken with all I have to do - but there is a sense of peace within my heart and the "communication lines" are open with God. As I do my chores, I can be in dialogue with Him.
I thought I'd write today about prayer. I've been giving in to the excuse of not having any printer ink to complete my quiet time. It's a sorry excuse really. You see I print out the chapters I am studying onto computer paper so that I can then go through and mark the words according to the study. (I don't have a problem writing in my Bible, but just don't have a Bible with enough room between words for marking!) I didn't have chapter 20 printed out before running out of ink, so I just stopped having a quiet time. Which meant I've slept in and also neglected having a time of prayer as well. Honestly, those days went horribly... I slept in (well, went back to sleep after hubby got up and headed to gym) which meant I woke when Lynn's alarm went off and then couldn't get my shower in before helping Lynn get ready for school and Zane waking up. So, shower time had to wait which just cut into my "me" time during Zane's naptime. Ugh. I am such a routine person, so adding that to a lack of quiet time with my Lord and my days were all thrown off!
Ok, so that was the excuse and the ramifications. Thankfully, today is a new day and I am back on track. I've printed out the next (& final) seven chapters of Acts. I started my day today with prayer as well. Not that today will go perfectly - I already feel like the proverbial headless chicken with all I have to do - but there is a sense of peace within my heart and the "communication lines" are open with God. As I do my chores, I can be in dialogue with Him.
"The children that walk down this hallway I am vacuuming - have mercy on them, Lord, and help them to see their need for You. Guide them to a relationship with You. The husband who looks in this mirror I am wiping off - continue to chisel and refine him to reflect You to others. Thank you for these clothes I am folding, Lord. You have taken care of all of our needs. We have clothes to wear, a house to live it, and food on our table. You know my needs and plan for them before I do. Thank you."I thank God that His mercies are new every morning and that just because I have neglected communicating with Him, He has never turned His eye from me.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
knocking down walls
God has this amazing ability to know us. He truly knows us because He created each of us, formed us, and gave us our own subtleties that make us us. He knows just what walls need to be knocked down to truly open our eyes.
I've just gone through Acts 10 and 11 and while it wasn't the main point of this Holy Spirit -focused lesson, something stood out to me. Here's the passage:
The past: Peter was Jewish (an Israelite), and as found in Deuteronomy 14, there were only certain animals which they could eat. To them, to eat something that was unclean was an abomination to the Lord. This was just one distinction that kept them set apart from the Gentiles (or non-Israelite peoples).
The future: God was about to have Peter witness to a Gentile named Cornelius and his friends, whom Jews should have no business being around.
Why I find this so neat: God took mercy on Peter. He didn't allow Peter to receive the request to visit Cornelius, without taking away a stereotype. Without first putting his mind at ease.
If you think about it, there are so many stereotypes out there, some around nationality, others around gender, others based on looks, others centering around monetary status, goodness I could go on! God took away the "fear" of the stereotype of a Gentile's uncleanliness from Peter, right before he was asked to approach that type of person.
A real scenario in my life: I was hesitant to approach an individual who was sitting all alone. That person didn't look like me or dress like me. Without even meaning to, I wrongly summarized that we would have nothing in common and there was no point at going over to strike up a conversation. However, when that gal began to cry, the stereotypes weren't so true anymore. She was human. She was in some sort of pain. I could identify that she had the same basic needs as I. In that moment, that need was comfort. I could try and give that.
I wonder if Peter was stuck on the whole uncleanliness thing and that's why God brought that vision to him. I wonder if God knew that should be the wall He should tear down for Peter, to allow him to overcome a stereotype and so something uncomfortable (& unlawful), and to give him the boldness to go and see Cornelius.
Have you ever had a time when you realized just how wrong a stereotype you had was? Did this realization come after the moment had passed or were you able to change your initial reaction/action?
I've just gone through Acts 10 and 11 and while it wasn't the main point of this Holy Spirit -focused lesson, something stood out to me. Here's the passage:
Acts 10:9 Peter went up on the housetop about the sixth hour to pray. 10 But he became hungry and was desiring to eat ; but while they were making preparations, he fell into a trance; 11 and he saw the sky opened up, and an object like a great sheet coming down, lowered by four corners to the ground, 12 and there were in it all kinds of four-footed animals and crawling creatures of the earth and birds of the air. 13 A voice came to him, "Get up, Peter, kill and eat !" 14 But Peter said, "By no means, Lord, for I have never eaten anything unholy and unclean." 15 Again a voice came to him a second time, "What God has cleansed, no longer consider unholy." 16 This happened three times, and immediately the object was taken up into the sky.Random, I know. But it's the past and future to this that makes this subtle "little" vision such a big thing.
The past: Peter was Jewish (an Israelite), and as found in Deuteronomy 14, there were only certain animals which they could eat. To them, to eat something that was unclean was an abomination to the Lord. This was just one distinction that kept them set apart from the Gentiles (or non-Israelite peoples).
The future: God was about to have Peter witness to a Gentile named Cornelius and his friends, whom Jews should have no business being around.
Why I find this so neat: God took mercy on Peter. He didn't allow Peter to receive the request to visit Cornelius, without taking away a stereotype. Without first putting his mind at ease.
If you think about it, there are so many stereotypes out there, some around nationality, others around gender, others based on looks, others centering around monetary status, goodness I could go on! God took away the "fear" of the stereotype of a Gentile's uncleanliness from Peter, right before he was asked to approach that type of person.
A real scenario in my life: I was hesitant to approach an individual who was sitting all alone. That person didn't look like me or dress like me. Without even meaning to, I wrongly summarized that we would have nothing in common and there was no point at going over to strike up a conversation. However, when that gal began to cry, the stereotypes weren't so true anymore. She was human. She was in some sort of pain. I could identify that she had the same basic needs as I. In that moment, that need was comfort. I could try and give that.
I wonder if Peter was stuck on the whole uncleanliness thing and that's why God brought that vision to him. I wonder if God knew that should be the wall He should tear down for Peter, to allow him to overcome a stereotype and so something uncomfortable (& unlawful), and to give him the boldness to go and see Cornelius.
Have you ever had a time when you realized just how wrong a stereotype you had was? Did this realization come after the moment had passed or were you able to change your initial reaction/action?
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
church
So back in Acts... I've also been reflecting on what those 3,000 Israelites did after their conversion & receiving of the Holy Spirit within them. I'm going to cut and paste to make it easier:
This passage clearly shows us the humbleness that ought to bind us together... the openness to learning from one another... the unselfishness of sharing possessions... the everyday ordinariness & "messiness" of life shared. Verse 47 says as a result they were having favor with all the people. So surely if nonbelievers saw this lifestyle today, they couldn't help but to be drawn to Jesus as well.
Amidst studying this, my husband and I have discussed searching for a new church to attend. It's a post for another time, but we feel that we are in an unhealthy church, whose focus isn't quite straight. We wrestle with staying and praying/working with them through this, but also feel that we've done the biblical process of talking with the leadership about it and haven't seen a change in the 9+ months it has been since those discussions. In no church will we find perfection, however we both desire a church of humble openness as found in Acts.
It's made me look inward, for I know if I don't start with me, I can't expect to find it in another. Am I in awe of God's work? Do I have a glad and generous heart? I challenge you to think about the church you find yourself in. Are you doing your part to contribute to the facade or are you worshiping and sharing in humbleness?
(Acts 2) 42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.This is a sweet, simple, pure picture of what God's church should look like. The awe and wonder that each Christian believer should have for God. I fear, well, I know, that so many of Christians have given the false impression that we have it all together or that we are somehow better than those that are unbelievers. We lose the simple awe of God when something amazing happens. Acknowledging Him as the sole reason we don't sink in submission to the world. We think it was something we did that made it all come together. From the little things to the big things, it's only by His grace and mercy that we make it through.
This passage clearly shows us the humbleness that ought to bind us together... the openness to learning from one another... the unselfishness of sharing possessions... the everyday ordinariness & "messiness" of life shared. Verse 47 says as a result they were having favor with all the people. So surely if nonbelievers saw this lifestyle today, they couldn't help but to be drawn to Jesus as well.
Amidst studying this, my husband and I have discussed searching for a new church to attend. It's a post for another time, but we feel that we are in an unhealthy church, whose focus isn't quite straight. We wrestle with staying and praying/working with them through this, but also feel that we've done the biblical process of talking with the leadership about it and haven't seen a change in the 9+ months it has been since those discussions. In no church will we find perfection, however we both desire a church of humble openness as found in Acts.
It's made me look inward, for I know if I don't start with me, I can't expect to find it in another. Am I in awe of God's work? Do I have a glad and generous heart? I challenge you to think about the church you find yourself in. Are you doing your part to contribute to the facade or are you worshiping and sharing in humbleness?
Sunday, June 26, 2011
cuts, pierces, & pricks
My new quiet time material has me studying the book of Acts. As much as I enjoyed (in an eye-opening, convicting, deep look, sense of the word "enjoying" lol) walking through Paul's books, I decided to study another New Testament book that I really have never dug in and studied for itself: Acts.
I've just ended Acts 2, where the author is recounting the crowd of Israelites' response to Peter's sermon (in which he reminds them of the prophet's Joel's prophecy promising the Holy Spirit's indwelling in the last days. Then he reviewed recent events - how they just crucified Jesus, and how God raised Him up again. Might these be the last days? Because with the resurrection complete, God had also continued fulfilling His promise of sending the Holy Spirit to those who repented and believed.)
Verse 37 of Acts 2 says when they heard this, they were "cut to the heart"(ESV)/"pierced to the heart"(NASB)/"pricked in their heart"(KJV) and wanted to know what to do next. Peter tells them repent and be baptized... There were about three thousand souls saved that day. Do you know what 3,000 people looks like all together?!
The ability for God's truth to speak straight into our lives amazes me. The fact that so many hearts were convicted with the overwhelming need to repent after Peter's message that day? Incredible. The Holy Spirit was truly at work that day.
We have a very personal, very loving God. He knows our needs but knows that He is the best answer to them. However, there's no cajoling or convincing, just the truth laid out there. Ultimately the decision comes down to us. He speaks to our hearts, He cuts, pierces, and pricks, but do we listen?
Have you listened - and responded?
I've just ended Acts 2, where the author is recounting the crowd of Israelites' response to Peter's sermon (in which he reminds them of the prophet's Joel's prophecy promising the Holy Spirit's indwelling in the last days. Then he reviewed recent events - how they just crucified Jesus, and how God raised Him up again. Might these be the last days? Because with the resurrection complete, God had also continued fulfilling His promise of sending the Holy Spirit to those who repented and believed.)
Verse 37 of Acts 2 says when they heard this, they were "cut to the heart"(ESV)/"pierced to the heart"(NASB)/"pricked in their heart"(KJV) and wanted to know what to do next. Peter tells them repent and be baptized... There were about three thousand souls saved that day. Do you know what 3,000 people looks like all together?!
The ability for God's truth to speak straight into our lives amazes me. The fact that so many hearts were convicted with the overwhelming need to repent after Peter's message that day? Incredible. The Holy Spirit was truly at work that day.
We have a very personal, very loving God. He knows our needs but knows that He is the best answer to them. However, there's no cajoling or convincing, just the truth laid out there. Ultimately the decision comes down to us. He speaks to our hearts, He cuts, pierces, and pricks, but do we listen?
Have you listened - and responded?
Saturday, June 4, 2011
challenges
I'm having a sulky day. I have been incredibly productive this morning, from gardening with Lynn to laundry to cleaning to feeding the kiddos. On the surface (lol, literally, as my "surfaces" are clean now, haha) I am pleased with how my time has been spent. However I'm not on the inside. I have this stirrings of discontentment going on. It needs to be rid of.
My twitter friend Lisa from Lisa Writes retweeted someone yesterday with this quote: "Contentment is the direct fruit of having no higher ambition than to belong to the Lord, at His disposal." -S Ferguson
Ouch. I'm not allowing myself to be at His disposal. Oh, I think I'm flexible and willing but have I really put self second to all else? In my more selfish moments I even whine to God about what's the "point" of being "just a mom" and can I really be expected to drop everything to be the perfect "helper" of my husband? I flop between "is that really all?" to "how can I be all that?"
On her blog, Lisa's recent blog post titled, "Today's Chapter" references a John Piper Challenge to Women.
#1 hits the nail on the head. Is everything I'm doing glorifying God? Certainly my selfish actions do not.
#9 Speaking of my husband, do I "influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer?" My holiness. I fall so short.
#10 Am I seeking to "raise up children who hope in the triumph of God" or am I just trying to get through each day with no accidents, squabbles, or too much tv time?
Do I see the "awesome significance of motherhood?" Do I carry on with life with no thought to the significance of my actions, words, selection of past-times?
Anyways... I am challenged by the list, totally humbled, and will spend more time pondering his points. I have much to consider and much work to be done.
I'll leave you with lyrics from a new Steven Curtis Chapman song, "Do Everything." In a nutshell, it advocates Piper's #1 challenge.
You're picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We'll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you
Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do
Link to full lyrics (he addresses more than just mothers).
My twitter friend Lisa from Lisa Writes retweeted someone yesterday with this quote: "Contentment is the direct fruit of having no higher ambition than to belong to the Lord, at His disposal." -S Ferguson
Ouch. I'm not allowing myself to be at His disposal. Oh, I think I'm flexible and willing but have I really put self second to all else? In my more selfish moments I even whine to God about what's the "point" of being "just a mom" and can I really be expected to drop everything to be the perfect "helper" of my husband? I flop between "is that really all?" to "how can I be all that?"
On her blog, Lisa's recent blog post titled, "Today's Chapter" references a John Piper Challenge to Women.
#1 hits the nail on the head. Is everything I'm doing glorifying God? Certainly my selfish actions do not.
#9 Speaking of my husband, do I "influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer?" My holiness. I fall so short.
#10 Am I seeking to "raise up children who hope in the triumph of God" or am I just trying to get through each day with no accidents, squabbles, or too much tv time?
Do I see the "awesome significance of motherhood?" Do I carry on with life with no thought to the significance of my actions, words, selection of past-times?
Anyways... I am challenged by the list, totally humbled, and will spend more time pondering his points. I have much to consider and much work to be done.
I'll leave you with lyrics from a new Steven Curtis Chapman song, "Do Everything." In a nutshell, it advocates Piper's #1 challenge.
You're picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We'll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you
Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do
Link to full lyrics (he addresses more than just mothers).
Monday, May 16, 2011
wisdom
Into James 3 this morning, reading about wisdom,
Just last night (& so many times!), I prayed for wisdom for Mr. H and I as parents. Really and honestly, what I meant was, "Lord, help us to understand what to do with these children you've given us. Help us to know what to do when they disobey us over and over again in stubborn defiance, to know how to react when they say stupid things, and to know how to love them when at moments we don't even really like them."
This morning, after reading in James, that prayer was put into new light for me... when I prayed for wisdom, God heard me asking, "Help us to be gentle, to be pure and peaceable. Help us to be reasonable, having mercy and good fruits, unwavering without hypocrisy." Kinda puts a new spin on parenting, huh?
13 Who among you is wise and understanding ? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
The study guide asked me to look at the differences between wisdom from above vs. earthly wisdom. Pulling straight out of the text above, wisdom from above means gentleness, purity, peace, reasonableness, mercy, good fruits, unwavering, and without hypocrisy.
Just last night (& so many times!), I prayed for wisdom for Mr. H and I as parents. Really and honestly, what I meant was, "Lord, help us to understand what to do with these children you've given us. Help us to know what to do when they disobey us over and over again in stubborn defiance, to know how to react when they say stupid things, and to know how to love them when at moments we don't even really like them."
This morning, after reading in James, that prayer was put into new light for me... when I prayed for wisdom, God heard me asking, "Help us to be gentle, to be pure and peaceable. Help us to be reasonable, having mercy and good fruits, unwavering without hypocrisy." Kinda puts a new spin on parenting, huh?
Thursday, April 14, 2011
follow your... heart?
photo © 2011 Francesco Pappalardo | more info (via: Wylio)Hunkering down (haha, that is such a funny phrase), I am still in the first chapter of James in my quiet time. [God's word is becoming even more captivating to me as I go deeper into these books of the Bible, so you're going to have to endure another post about James' writing.] ;)
Yesterday I looked at the difference between trials and temptation (for reference, turn to James 1:12-16). Trials seem to be defined as something outside of us, most cases its a situation that we encounter or get into. Temptation on the other hand is all self. It's when we are carried away (v.14) or lured away by our own lust. Lust, obviously, comes in all forms... the physical variety but also lust for control, for money, for recognition, etc.
I think what makes trials so tough is that usually we are weakened during those times: our pride was hit or our health has declined, etc. However, when we are focused on the trial and how it's effecting us, it's then that these lusts creep in and we more easily indulge in temptation. The problem with temptation is that it's sin and when sin is accomplished there is death (v.15, see above) - spiritual death, a "victory" for Satan if you will. It's so easy to be going through a trial and allow yourself to give in to temptation. We think we have rights or something. Like, I don't feel well right now so it's ok that I just mouthed off at my spouse/children. Um, no. Falling into the temptation of anger because you are going through the trial of illness (for example)... don't think so. We have allowed ourselves to be lured into the temptation to sin.
Cross referencing over to Proverbs 6:20-29, the writer is cautioning against the temptation of adultery. Verse 25 talks about not letting the desire get to your heart. Interesting... temptation being linked to the heart... But I thought some of those great mantras in life say that we are supposed to "go with what your heart tells you" or "follow your heart." What I'm reading instead is that the heart is where it can go all downhill? The heart is where temptations are rooted? Here are a few more references to the heart...
Matthew 15:18 "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. 19 "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders." (emphasis mine)
Genesis 8:21 "... the LORD said to Himself, "I will never again curse the ground on account of man, for the intent of man's heart is evil from his youth ; and I will never again destroy every living thing, as I have done." (emphasis mine)
All through Exodus (start in ch. 7), we read that the "Pharoh's heart was hardened" - therefore he didn't listen to God (via Moses).
The first commandment is to have no other gods besides God. And how are we to do that... Dueteronmy 6:5 says, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might" (emphasis mine). Guard your heart. For out of it has the ability to flow love for God or the power to lead you astray.
What do you think? Have you thought about how much "power" your heart has? Looking back at a temptation you've given into, were you following your heart (i.e. an emotion or a self-justification for a "right" that should be yours)?
Before you follow your heart, make sure you heart is lined up with the source of truth.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
suffering turned into shamelessness
I've moved into the book of James in my quiet time study material. I'm just in chapter 1 (day 4) and for today, the guide has me rereading versus 1-11 again. It then directs me to Romans, where trials are addressed as well. The question is, "What happens as a result of trials?"
The thought out, pondered over answer leads me to this... In times of trials we are usually totally humbled. Personal experience: our losing Nathan. I was/am humbled over the reminder that it's not my body that sustains life; it's only through the hand of God that life is created and completed. My body was fine. Nathan's body was fine. But somewhere along the way fluid production stopped that week. Who knows, fluid could've been low because Nathan had already been gone and I was without his production those two days before we discovered it. Or it could've been the lack of fluid production from him or me that stopped his ability to live. Regardless, as a woman, whose responsibility it is to house and sustain another human being, it's humbling when that doesn't happen as it is "supposed to." We realize we can't do it on our own. So, in that humbling time, God sustains us. We have to have patience, endurance, and reliance on Him. Enter the character-building. Personal experience: I am a different woman than I was on May 23, 2008. My character, my personality, my actions and thoughts about things are now different. I see life through a different lens (haha, how appropriate for a photographer ;). The byproduct of that character change? Hope. A breath of fresh air. The realization that there is hope of a future. God is carrying us, sustaining us. Personal experience: This God-given hope allowed us the trust in Him to step out and try conceiving another child. Zane is here because of that cultivated hope. Praise God for hope! The combination of the endurance, the character-building, and the produced hope leads to a life without shame. Whatever it is that is going to hit next (good or bad), will not lead me to hang my head. God's love has been poured into my heart by the Holy Spirit through the saving faith that allowed me this progression. Personal experience: I am here blogging about our loss. I have been able to extend God's love, give testimony to His graciousness, and walk the grief walk with others. There is no shame in humbling myself to feel grief and sadness again as God allows me to minister to others.
I sure don't like the suffering and trials, but I can't help but be in wonder when I stop to look at what He does with them!
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)The quick answer is that suffering produces endurance, which builds character, then giving us hope without shame.
The thought out, pondered over answer leads me to this... In times of trials we are usually totally humbled. Personal experience: our losing Nathan. I was/am humbled over the reminder that it's not my body that sustains life; it's only through the hand of God that life is created and completed. My body was fine. Nathan's body was fine. But somewhere along the way fluid production stopped that week. Who knows, fluid could've been low because Nathan had already been gone and I was without his production those two days before we discovered it. Or it could've been the lack of fluid production from him or me that stopped his ability to live. Regardless, as a woman, whose responsibility it is to house and sustain another human being, it's humbling when that doesn't happen as it is "supposed to." We realize we can't do it on our own. So, in that humbling time, God sustains us. We have to have patience, endurance, and reliance on Him. Enter the character-building. Personal experience: I am a different woman than I was on May 23, 2008. My character, my personality, my actions and thoughts about things are now different. I see life through a different lens (haha, how appropriate for a photographer ;). The byproduct of that character change? Hope. A breath of fresh air. The realization that there is hope of a future. God is carrying us, sustaining us. Personal experience: This God-given hope allowed us the trust in Him to step out and try conceiving another child. Zane is here because of that cultivated hope. Praise God for hope! The combination of the endurance, the character-building, and the produced hope leads to a life without shame. Whatever it is that is going to hit next (good or bad), will not lead me to hang my head. God's love has been poured into my heart by the Holy Spirit through the saving faith that allowed me this progression. Personal experience: I am here blogging about our loss. I have been able to extend God's love, give testimony to His graciousness, and walk the grief walk with others. There is no shame in humbling myself to feel grief and sadness again as God allows me to minister to others.
I sure don't like the suffering and trials, but I can't help but be in wonder when I stop to look at what He does with them!
Monday, March 7, 2011
the "fix"
"Sin comes in many varieties, but one of the primary strands is what I call a legitimate illegitimate sin. We attempt to meet a legitimate need, but we do it in an illegitimate way. We aren't patient enough to wait for God to meet the legitimate need in the legitimate way He has prescribed, so we look for a quick over-the-counter fix." (p.120 of Soulprint by Mark Batterson)
Ugh - why do we do this?! We are such a "fast food"-minded society. You can "have it your way" whenever you want. No need to slave over a hot stove, just pull up to the nearest drive-through, and wa-la, food at your fingertips. Just like our roaring stomachs can make it hard to wait for dinner, when discontentment and selfishness roar their ugly sinful heads off it is even harder to wait on the Lord.
My family has almost passed the fourteenth month mark of my husband's being let go from the church. We have been in the process of praying about and applying for Army chaplaincy for almost ten months now. We have slowly begun applying to a few church positions for about three months now. Some days more than others, I am tempted to look for that "quick over-the-counter fix." What can we do to make our monetary situation better? What can we do to make ends meet? The reality is that God has so amazingly provided for our family these 14 months. In really stopping and thinking about things, I don't know why I waste my time even looking for a quick fix! The lack of patience is a sin. Honestly, I'd much rather have His "legitimate" fix in my life than mine any day. Help my trust and patience in waiting on You, Father!
Ugh - why do we do this?! We are such a "fast food"-minded society. You can "have it your way" whenever you want. No need to slave over a hot stove, just pull up to the nearest drive-through, and wa-la, food at your fingertips. Just like our roaring stomachs can make it hard to wait for dinner, when discontentment and selfishness roar their ugly sinful heads off it is even harder to wait on the Lord.
My family has almost passed the fourteenth month mark of my husband's being let go from the church. We have been in the process of praying about and applying for Army chaplaincy for almost ten months now. We have slowly begun applying to a few church positions for about three months now. Some days more than others, I am tempted to look for that "quick over-the-counter fix." What can we do to make our monetary situation better? What can we do to make ends meet? The reality is that God has so amazingly provided for our family these 14 months. In really stopping and thinking about things, I don't know why I waste my time even looking for a quick fix! The lack of patience is a sin. Honestly, I'd much rather have His "legitimate" fix in my life than mine any day. Help my trust and patience in waiting on You, Father!
Monday, February 14, 2011
love
Valentines Day... creates a lot of buzz on the topic of love. I've been studying 1 John 4 this past week. You want to hear about love? Turn to it, but don't expect to hear about the mushy stuff. Expect to hear about the command to love. Command? To love? Yes.
In verses 7 to 21, I marked the word love/loves/loved a total of 27 times! In those verses you will find the ultimate definition of love (v9: "that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him"), you will see where love comes from (v7: "for love is from God"), you will hear that we need not have fear (v18: "perfect love casts out fear"), and you will see that we have received the commandment to love (v21: "whoever loves God must also love his brother").
The study had me cross reference a few additional verses that included similar thoughts on love. One that stood out to me was Romans 13: 8-10, specifically v10: "Love does no wrong to a neighbor ; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." Galatians 5:14 says something very similar. Think about it - if we choose to love, there is no room for hate/murder, envy, strife, adultery/sexual immorality, judgment, favoritism, etc. Choosing love means we choose peace, patience, kindness, self control, putting others first, etc. [See Galations 5:19-23]. Ultimately, when we choose love we are choosing to abide in Christ. To fulfill His commandments. Our lives display the fruit of the spirit. The book of 1 John talks a lot about how through our actions, we can either identify ourselves with Christ or with the devil. "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him" (ch4,v16).
It's really made me evaluate how I love. Do I always choose love? No. Do I need to? Yes.
A couple of more questions for evaluation: Is my love restricted to only those that love me in return? Do I show my love in both words and actions? Do I take God's love for granted? Do I remember to praise the One who gave me the ability to love?
Happy Valentines Day, everyone. Go out and love.
In verses 7 to 21, I marked the word love/loves/loved a total of 27 times! In those verses you will find the ultimate definition of love (v9: "that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him"), you will see where love comes from (v7: "for love is from God"), you will hear that we need not have fear (v18: "perfect love casts out fear"), and you will see that we have received the commandment to love (v21: "whoever loves God must also love his brother").
The study had me cross reference a few additional verses that included similar thoughts on love. One that stood out to me was Romans 13: 8-10, specifically v10: "Love does no wrong to a neighbor ; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." Galatians 5:14 says something very similar. Think about it - if we choose to love, there is no room for hate/murder, envy, strife, adultery/sexual immorality, judgment, favoritism, etc. Choosing love means we choose peace, patience, kindness, self control, putting others first, etc. [See Galations 5:19-23]. Ultimately, when we choose love we are choosing to abide in Christ. To fulfill His commandments. Our lives display the fruit of the spirit. The book of 1 John talks a lot about how through our actions, we can either identify ourselves with Christ or with the devil. "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him" (ch4,v16).
It's really made me evaluate how I love. Do I always choose love? No. Do I need to? Yes.
A couple of more questions for evaluation: Is my love restricted to only those that love me in return? Do I show my love in both words and actions? Do I take God's love for granted? Do I remember to praise the One who gave me the ability to love?
Happy Valentines Day, everyone. Go out and love.
Monday, January 31, 2011
my actions
I've been spending my devotional/quiet time in the book of 1 John lately. I am walking through a Bible study written by Kay Aurthur and David Lawson, entitled, "God's Love Alive in You." I wanted to see what Kay Aurthur's inductive method was like and this is a simplified way of using it.Anyways, I am in chapter 3 right now and it's opened my eyes... our actions matter. In verses 16-18, the writer John says, "By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." Back in chapter 2, he said, "Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness" (v9).
How much of my life is focused inward? How much of my day-to-day is centered around myself? I have been challenged to review my roles and felt conviction that I wasn't treating those roles as worthy as they truly are. I've tried to begin some daily habits to help put things in priority and take the focus off myself. But now God's Word is showing me that it's also about those outside my family.
Because music is always playing in our house & car (funny story, I'll tell you at the end)... reading over these verses reminds me of the song My Own Little World by Matthew West. "What if there's a bigger picture?
What if I'm missing out?
What if there's a greater purpose?
I could be living right now
Outside my own little world"
I have really seen my daughter blossom since becoming a big sister. I have seen more nurturing out of her in this past year than I have the previous six years. She truly loves her little brother and is (mostly) kind and gentle with him. She shares all her toys (the safe ones) without question. She is not a gentle person by nature. She is a rough and tumble gal that already has that female tendency to try and manipulate down pat. She has a lot of head knowledge of Christ, but I am praying that He penetrates her heart so that she will see her need for Him. Even with the birth of a sibling that has made her "own little world" expand, has her world been expanded enough? Are we doing enough as a family to expose her to the world outside her house? We volunteered as a family last summer at a warehouse to pack food for delivery to disadvantaged seniors. The experience was one that was perfect for Lynn to be able to help. My hubby's been talking about going back and making that a monthly thing. I agree. It's time to step out.
"Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours
Give me open hands and open doors
Put Your light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me" (Matthew West)
Just because I promised the story at the end... my seven year old daughter asked me in the car one day if the car would run without the radio playing (it's always Christian stations)... I never realized how much it's on! Typically when we're talking, I'll just turn it down and we'll chat with it still on. We do talk quite often in the car, so I don't think it's keeping us from connecting, however it did make me question if it was a distraction for her. Kinda funny in a random sort of way...
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
wonder how she felt
The words from Francesca Battistelli's song "You're Here" have me pondering the miraculous yet mysterious relationship between Mary, the chosen mother (yet quite human and sinful) of Jesus and the precious boy that was her baby (yet the Savior of the world).
Did she ever feel intimated? Did she ever bend over to pick up that little one and think about the enormity of who He was and just step back a moment? Was she afraid to take him anywhere for fear of something happening? Creator, King, Maker... in the form of a helpless infant... in her care! "You made the world before I was born; Here I am holding You in my arms tonight." Man. I. just. can't. even. fathom.
Here are the lyrics but you can actually download this song for free at Amazon.
Hold on now, i gotta take a deep breath
I don`t know what to say when i look in your eyes
You made the world before i was born
Here i am holding you in my arms tonight
Noel, noel, Jesus our Emmanuel
You`re here, i`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my savior, king and creator
you could`ve left us on our own, but you`re here
I don`t know how long i`m gonna have you for
But i`ll be watching when you change the world
I look at your hand, they`re still so small
Someday you`re going to stretch them out and save us all
Noel, noel, God with us Emmanuel
You`re here, i`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my savior, king and creator
You could`ve left us on our own, but you`re here you`re here
Someday i`m gonna look back on this
The night that God became a baby boy
Someday you're gonna go home again,
But you leave your spirit and flood the world with joy
You`ll be here, i`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my savior, king and creator
You could`ve left me on my own, but you`re here you`re here
Hallelujah you`re here hallelujah
You`re here
Did she ever feel intimated? Did she ever bend over to pick up that little one and think about the enormity of who He was and just step back a moment? Was she afraid to take him anywhere for fear of something happening? Creator, King, Maker... in the form of a helpless infant... in her care! "You made the world before I was born; Here I am holding You in my arms tonight." Man. I. just. can't. even. fathom.
Here are the lyrics but you can actually download this song for free at Amazon.
Hold on now, i gotta take a deep breath
I don`t know what to say when i look in your eyes
You made the world before i was born
Here i am holding you in my arms tonight
Noel, noel, Jesus our Emmanuel
You`re here, i`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my savior, king and creator
you could`ve left us on our own, but you`re here
I don`t know how long i`m gonna have you for
But i`ll be watching when you change the world
I look at your hand, they`re still so small
Someday you`re going to stretch them out and save us all
Noel, noel, God with us Emmanuel
You`re here, i`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my savior, king and creator
You could`ve left us on our own, but you`re here you`re here
Someday i`m gonna look back on this
The night that God became a baby boy
Someday you're gonna go home again,
But you leave your spirit and flood the world with joy
You`ll be here, i`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my savior, king and creator
You could`ve left me on my own, but you`re here you`re here
Hallelujah you`re here hallelujah
You`re here
Monday, November 29, 2010
black & white
Read this tweet by Mark Hall from Casting Crowns some time ago and jotted it down: "James 2:10-13 It's amazing how we see the lives of others in black-and-white and our own lives we see in gray."
It really is true, though, isn't it? We are so quick to judge others, but yet come up with an excuse which makes it ok when we ourselves do the very same thing. I find myself falling into the easy trap of judgment... "I can't believe she did this..." or "Can you really believe he said that..." It's not that I'm even saying this to another person, as in gossiping, but I think it to myself. The very fact that this train of thought comes into my head at all is sin. Selfishness. "Judgmentalism." Yet inevitably if we ourselves were in that same situation, we might have reacted the very same way.
Ah! Why do we do this?!
Father, help us to see others through the lens of your love. Help me to remember that "mercy triumphs over judgment." (James 2:13)
Ah! Why do we do this?!
Father, help us to see others through the lens of your love. Help me to remember that "mercy triumphs over judgment." (James 2:13)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
this is the way
Mom emailed me a verse the other day which whispered to my soul: "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" (Isaiah 30:21). Oh how I crave that guidance. Only I so selfishly want it tailored to my specific future and want it right now.
Earlier in the chapter, Isaiah says,
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,"
Looks like he says that's not what the Israelites were doing, but how unbelievably, mercifully good God is because a little later on, God is saying that He will continue to answer them, when they cry for help. I guess really that's what I'm trying to do...crying out for His help... trying to simply walk in His way, in repentance and rest (trying not to overthink, not to get ahead of Him by rushing into conclusions)... in quietness and trust (remembering when even on the low days, not to let my emotions run wild - either in stressfulness or in sulkyness, lol, but in trust). Out of those will come His leading and His strength. He'll guide, "This is the way, walk in it."
Sigh. Some days that seems beyond my human abilities. Guess that's the point :)
Earlier in the chapter, Isaiah says,
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,"
Looks like he says that's not what the Israelites were doing, but how unbelievably, mercifully good God is because a little later on, God is saying that He will continue to answer them, when they cry for help. I guess really that's what I'm trying to do...crying out for His help... trying to simply walk in His way, in repentance and rest (trying not to overthink, not to get ahead of Him by rushing into conclusions)... in quietness and trust (remembering when even on the low days, not to let my emotions run wild - either in stressfulness or in sulkyness, lol, but in trust). Out of those will come His leading and His strength. He'll guide, "This is the way, walk in it."
Sigh. Some days that seems beyond my human abilities. Guess that's the point :)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
grace
How do we teach our children the idea of loving one another, but not accepting the sin of another as ok? How can we teach our children right and wrong without condoning another for their (wrong) actions? For example... I was riding behind a man and his mother, both have visited our old church. The mother had her arm out the window, holding a lit cigarette. My immediate thoughts were judgmental ones (to my dismay, for which I asked God for forgiveness - being honest here). But, it got me to thinking. I want Lynn to know that smoking is not good for her, that she needs to avoid cigarettes and smoking. However, I do not want her to walk away with the idea that those that do smoke (or insert anything else) are any less "better" of an individual than her because she chooses the better path.
"Grace is revealed in the cross, which reminds us that Jesus paid the price for our sin and the sins of our children. The cross shows us we deserve nothing but judgment and hell, but we, like our children, are saved only by grace. This grace understands that we don't get to claim the moral high ground, looking down on the poor sinners beneath us... When we gaze at the cross and see that it is all by grace and not by our merit, we see the Gospel as truly great. We also see that the Gospel is not just important for conversion, but is important each and every day of our lives. We openly admit that we are no better than any other sinner. We all need grace." p 158 of ApParent Privilege by Steve Wright.
That is what I want to convey to my children. We gaze at the cross and see that it is all by grace. I want to have a spirit that oozes that thankfulness. To be a person that demonstrates that same grace in loving my children and others. That when I see an individual, I see another person whom God has sacrificed His son to save. To not view myself more highly than another just because of blessings I have received or choices I have made. And that is all what I want to teach my children. I just feel so unqualified to do that when I myself am so unqualified for the grace that was given to me. I guess that's the point.
"Grace is revealed in the cross, which reminds us that Jesus paid the price for our sin and the sins of our children. The cross shows us we deserve nothing but judgment and hell, but we, like our children, are saved only by grace. This grace understands that we don't get to claim the moral high ground, looking down on the poor sinners beneath us... When we gaze at the cross and see that it is all by grace and not by our merit, we see the Gospel as truly great. We also see that the Gospel is not just important for conversion, but is important each and every day of our lives. We openly admit that we are no better than any other sinner. We all need grace." p 158 of ApParent Privilege by Steve Wright.
That is what I want to convey to my children. We gaze at the cross and see that it is all by grace. I want to have a spirit that oozes that thankfulness. To be a person that demonstrates that same grace in loving my children and others. That when I see an individual, I see another person whom God has sacrificed His son to save. To not view myself more highly than another just because of blessings I have received or choices I have made. And that is all what I want to teach my children. I just feel so unqualified to do that when I myself am so unqualified for the grace that was given to me. I guess that's the point.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
yoked
When I think about being yoked to something, it usually comes across as a negative thing... being pulled down. Even when it comes to being yoked in marriage, comedians usually use the bond as the brunt of a joke. I was challenged today to think otherwise.
One of the definitions of "yoke" is the use of something that represents a bond between two parties. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus tells us to rest if we are burdened and heavy ladened. Then immediately He tells us to take His yoke upon us. Seems counter-productive, doesn't it? He's telling us to rest, which to me means taking off something, disconnecting myself from others or commitments. But that's not what He instructs. Put on my yoke, He says. But check it out: His yoke is easy, and His burden is light (v. 30). So by putting on the yoke of Christ, we actually lighten our load. Wow. What an image. Be silly with me here and imagine putting the yoke of Christ as if we were wrapping ourselves with a light, feathery boa. If we wrapped that boa around another, we'd be yoked, but with a light load. Certainly is a lot more appealing that making the load heavier. So let's try it. Rest today by taking His yoke. Tim Tangen from EBC, says the "Biggest enemy of rest is our selfish ambition." What are we striving towards that really doesn't matter? What is zapping our time, our energy, & our strength that doesn't allow us to rest? Let's take off those selfish ambitions and work by putting on the yoke of Christ. When we're yoked to Him, he'll lead us to what He wants for us. The burden will be easier and lighter as it will be shared with Him.
One of the definitions of "yoke" is the use of something that represents a bond between two parties. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus tells us to rest if we are burdened and heavy ladened. Then immediately He tells us to take His yoke upon us. Seems counter-productive, doesn't it? He's telling us to rest, which to me means taking off something, disconnecting myself from others or commitments. But that's not what He instructs. Put on my yoke, He says. But check it out: His yoke is easy, and His burden is light (v. 30). So by putting on the yoke of Christ, we actually lighten our load. Wow. What an image. Be silly with me here and imagine putting the yoke of Christ as if we were wrapping ourselves with a light, feathery boa. If we wrapped that boa around another, we'd be yoked, but with a light load. Certainly is a lot more appealing that making the load heavier. So let's try it. Rest today by taking His yoke. Tim Tangen from EBC, says the "Biggest enemy of rest is our selfish ambition." What are we striving towards that really doesn't matter? What is zapping our time, our energy, & our strength that doesn't allow us to rest? Let's take off those selfish ambitions and work by putting on the yoke of Christ. When we're yoked to Him, he'll lead us to what He wants for us. The burden will be easier and lighter as it will be shared with Him.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
just thinking
Being a psychology major in college, I have always been incredibly interested in genetics and personality and pretty much the uniqueness of individuals. I enjoy finding out what makes an individual "tick" as opposed to another. Recently, with what we're going through, I've been more observant of differences... between husbands and wives within a married couple (myself included), between teen girls, between people in the same job position, between parents. Different people respond differently to the same situation. It's so easy to get caught up in right and wrong and think that our selfish way is the best way. I'm guilty of judging others. God is working on my heart for that. ("Mercy triumphs over judgment." James 2:13). He gave me an interest in people, but I need to make sure that my interest doesn't turn into judgment. That is left for Him, not me. Each of us are unique, completely created by God. ("...by your will they existed and were created." Rev 4:11).
It's hard not knowing what's next. It's hard living in a town that you know you came to because of the church you're no longer a part of. Nothing is holding us here, yet I feel settled here and I'm not ready to leave here. What gives me hope is that God has created me, my husband, my daughter, and my son uniquely for the experiences that He is going to allow us to go through. We may each respond differently to those experiences, as they will impact us each slightly differently, but the common ground is that if we cling to Him, He'll guide us through. It won't matter if it's my way or someone else's way if it's God's way we're going.
It's hard not knowing what's next. It's hard living in a town that you know you came to because of the church you're no longer a part of. Nothing is holding us here, yet I feel settled here and I'm not ready to leave here. What gives me hope is that God has created me, my husband, my daughter, and my son uniquely for the experiences that He is going to allow us to go through. We may each respond differently to those experiences, as they will impact us each slightly differently, but the common ground is that if we cling to Him, He'll guide us through. It won't matter if it's my way or someone else's way if it's God's way we're going.
Monday, December 28, 2009
avoidance
One of the blogs that I am subscribed to is 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter. Surfing through (youth) girls' ministry sites lead me to an article posted here several months ago. I encourage you to check it out if you minister to or have girls of your own.
A post last month has been rolling around in my head and I cut out the section that caused me to stop and think. The post is titled Learning to Suffer Well by Jamie Lamb.
She says, "I've been reading Thomas Merton's, "The Seven Storey Mountain" (a great read) and when I hit the following sentence I had to stop for a while and think...actually I've done that a lot with this book but this is one of those times when someone else puts into words what you've been rolling around in your head for a long time. Here's what he said: “The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.” (boldness added by Mrs. H).
The article's main topic is about our sense of entitlement and our desire to avoid suffering.
It got me thinking about my loss and how if I'd been afraid of suffering again, we never would have tried to have another child. Never trying again would mean that I would have never had Zane.
We limit ourselves thereby limiting what we will let God do in our lives when we let fear of suffering overtake us.
Sure, the nine months of pregnancy wasn't always easy. Many days I wondered why I was even pregnant again. Why we were opening ourselves up to the possibility of another loss? Fear got in the way many days. I had to ask God to take away that fear of loss. Fear of suffering can be paralyzing. It can keep us from achieving what God has for us... the fullness of joy after the heartache of sorrow.
A post last month has been rolling around in my head and I cut out the section that caused me to stop and think. The post is titled Learning to Suffer Well by Jamie Lamb.
She says, "I've been reading Thomas Merton's, "The Seven Storey Mountain" (a great read) and when I hit the following sentence I had to stop for a while and think...actually I've done that a lot with this book but this is one of those times when someone else puts into words what you've been rolling around in your head for a long time. Here's what he said: “The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.” (boldness added by Mrs. H).
The article's main topic is about our sense of entitlement and our desire to avoid suffering.
It got me thinking about my loss and how if I'd been afraid of suffering again, we never would have tried to have another child. Never trying again would mean that I would have never had Zane.
We limit ourselves thereby limiting what we will let God do in our lives when we let fear of suffering overtake us.
Sure, the nine months of pregnancy wasn't always easy. Many days I wondered why I was even pregnant again. Why we were opening ourselves up to the possibility of another loss? Fear got in the way many days. I had to ask God to take away that fear of loss. Fear of suffering can be paralyzing. It can keep us from achieving what God has for us... the fullness of joy after the heartache of sorrow.
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