I GOT A JOB!!!

Ok, picture this:

Last Friday, I jump up from my desk and then I jump up and down screaming, "I GOT A JOB!!! I GOT A JOB!!!" Over and over again.
Last Friday, I was offered a position with RCS Millwork. Sort of a purchasing, material overseer type position. It doesn't actually exist, they are creating it for me. They wanted me enough to make a position for me! It still doesn't sound real yet. We met yesterday, discussed the terms, and came to an agreement. I accepted! I start on January 3rd. I have all next week off. I am excited, and scared. But the pay is an increase, and allows us some movement in the upcoming year. Hopefully we can find somewhere larger larger and nicer to live. Maybe plan to add to our family in 2013.

So, Merry Christmas, I have a Job!!!

new opportunities!

I've started a new blog for the project that I am working on. I can't call it a company, but it's definitely an exciting possibility. If you are interested in my services, let me know!!!

Affordable Arts Designs... my new logo

the end

My Company is closing.
After 70 years, the Onthank Company has decided to shut its doors. And this is incredibly sad to me. I'm not saying that I love my job (because I don't) but I like it at times. I Love the people that I work with. We have gone through so much. We've had weddings, infertility, babies and grand-babies. We've lost coworkers to other employment and lay-offs. We've lost one friend to tragedy, something that haunts a few of us daily.
I had planned on being at Onthank for a while. Maybe long enough to move up the chain a little more, or to have the company compensate me for all the work I've done.
The last 2 years have been hard. Having to constantly talk around our situation to our customers, having to go against morals and honesty, losing friends to lay-offs.
I should be happy to be able to find another job with a company with less stress. Instead, I am scared to death. I haven't had to look for a job since 2003 when I moved to Sioux City to be with Scott, without any job prospects. It was terrifying. And things are different now, we have Weston. He has daycare, etc.
And to bring my personal feelings into this, because it is personal, it may be business, but it's still personal to me, this puts a real damper on our family planning. We had put into action all the beginnings to try for another baby early next year. Obviously, we can't go through with that at this time. Even the best company would more than likely require one year on the job before granting maternity leave. And there is no way I can have another baby without a job. Everything is dependent on the next job.
So, thank you Onthank Company - for giving me a career that I felt uniquely qualified for (and is becoming glaringly obvious that I will not find again), for now depriving me of spending 8 hours a day with people I love and customers I adore, and for sending my family-planning to the back burner because this in 2011 and not 1950, and we both have to be gainfully employed just to have children.
I think this Friday may be my last day, not that anyone has said anything for certain, and I am not going to promise not to cry.

Homonymy

Mom in the '60s or 70s on Christmas

Looking at this picture, it's no wonder that I love plaid, big hair, and more than anything, vests! I love Vests! I have 9 I think. At least 4 sweater vests, 3 suit vests, and 2 long cotton ones - one of which has a lace back and lace panels.
That being said... definition states:
In linguistics, a homonym is, in the strict sense, one of a group of words that share the same spelling and the same pronunciation but have different meanings. Thus homonyms are simultaneously homographs (words that share the same spelling, regardless of their pronunciation) and homophones (words that share the same pronunciation, regardless of their spelling.) The state of being a homonym is called homonymy. Examples include: stalk (like a corn stalk) and stalk (the act of following/harassing a person.)
(thank you Wikipedia.)

So, why the Grammar lesson, you ask?
Well, first of all, I like grammar. And everyone could use a grammar lesson once in a while. But seriously, upon reflection this past weekend, I think my Mom and I are Homonymy. We are the same, but with completely different meanings.

My parents have sold our childhood home. Their home for the last 18 years. My Dad was in the Navy until the summer of 1990. Prior to that, we moved every 3 years to military housing. So in 1990 we moved to Clinton, Iowa. In 1992, my parents purchased their first home. And it was a doozy. Built in the 1860s (I think) it was 2200 sq and 2 stories with 4 bedrooms and 1 upstairs bathroom, an unfinished basement that still had the original oil drums from when the furnace was converted from coal to oil, before our own natural gas, and no central air conditioners. It had many previous owners, the last of which was a middle-aged bachelor who started projects and then... moved onto something else. So my parents had a lot of work to do with their first home. But they (along with my aunt and uncle) did it. They made a huge house into a home. And we loved it. So... Shannon and my little family travelled back to snap some pictures of our old house and our hometown. To have something to show for the 18 years of memories that we made. We plan on making Shutterfly books to hold these memories.

Mom and Dad are scheduled to sign the papers on their new condo on Thursday, November 10th.
Scary... a whole new place to live.

Guess what? I am wearing a sweater vest today. Navy blue over a white button down... with my hair in a high (but much smaller) bun.
The Homonymy continues.

Career Woes

I love the people I work with. I love some of our customers. It's just becoming difficult to be here. This economy is not helping a Family-owned business. And neither is our Congress or President - which is sad considering we've been in business for 67+ years. But there is only so much an employee can take. And I think we've all hit our limits:

Instagram!

I've recently joined Instagram... kind on a photographic Facebook App for my iPhone. I got turned onto this by CJane at CJane Enjoy It... I love the square photos and the filters that take any picture back to the days of non-digital photography. Beside the filters, one of my favorite features is the "Tilt"... this allows me to to focus on a specific part of the picture and gradually unfocus the rest of the picture. I always wanted to learn how to do this with a real camera.
So... here's a tour of my favorites so far from my growing collection of pictures that no one "follows."

This is my Post-Tango picture. Tangles of curls pried from tons of hairpins, lipstick worn off, and eyes still lined and a little drowsy. Sometimes I look at this and think I look angry, the rest of the time I look at it and think, "Wow... I've never felt so empowered and sexy."

Last Friday - We went to Valle Drive-In in Newton, Iowa. It was a first... for all of us. I love this picture of my boys waiting for the "Dark Time, so the movie can start" (Weston.) I love how Weston is so very comfortable... leg thrown over the chair and all. I felt the situation deserved a retro touch.


"Leave. Me. Alone. Mom." Yesterday... Weston's dark mood seemed to fit this dark filter. I love how his lips are pursed in frustration.



Yesterday we were at Adventureland. Weston rode the Chuck Wagon ride, this is the closest to a Farris Wheel as he can get. I chose a filter that would be reminiscent of tintype photographs... a little burnt looking around the edges. I love taking pictures of this boy.


Hydrangea Explosion... These petals were literally the size of Weston's head. This picture got a little saturated in a Photo Shop App on my iPhone, and then a blurred filter on Instagram. It just glows now.

Tango 2011

*** Pictures to come ***Ok, so it was beautiful and fun. the food was mediocre. Pretty but not as delicious as usual. I felt a little self confident in my strapless dress. I wish someone had told me to never sit down, because the "girls" literally rise so far to the occassion that I looked awful. All boobs and nothing else. And so white in pictures! And Shannon looked amazing, but her dress never showed the details in the pictures. Which is incredibly sad considering how stunning it was in person. Lots of sequins, lots of silk, and even a few uni-pants (or silk jumpsuits, if you must.) My favorite person of the night was a young blonde who looked like she walked off the beach at the Hamptons for this. Dress: browns, burnt-raspberry, teal, white, woven with gold... Small little triangles for a top that were perfectly spaced apart to show her sternum with skinny straps, detailed, beaded empire waist, flowy (to the ground) bottom. Small heeled sandals, flowing sun-kissed blonde hair on perfectly tanned body. I want to be this girl. Not kidding. Perfection... alas, I have no pictures of her to show, you'll just have to trust me on this one.

it's coming...

8-20-10: this is me in my doorway pose for my husband. He wasn't there. I just wanted to show him what he was missing. And then I made Sister Shannon pose too. (at the bottom) I have a thing for doorways. I love them. I love the sizes (especially big ones,) and the different materials used, and all the designs. And the fact that they always have a purpose. Crazy thinking I know. Anyway, this post is not about doorways. It's about Tango.

Tango is the Children & Families of Iowa's biggest and most elaborate fundraiser. It's spearheaded by some of the wealthiest women in the area. There's food, drinks, music and best of all - fundraising! The goal is raise as much money as they can through donations, tickets sales, a silent auction, a live auction, and new this year - Gaming Tables!!!

And it's tomorrow!!!!

So, Shannon has to work the Shelter Table, and I will be helping her. The plan is to wear a beautiful strapless royal purple dress and fun hair done by my friend Jean. Shannon is wearing an amazing black dress that does wonderful curvy things! I promise, pictures to come! And yes, most of them will be of the food. ;)

I think I have become an Emotional Sponge

My Dad once said that his children are "Human."
And by that he didn't mean that we were human, 1 step above the apes. What he meant was that we were Human - we possess an enhanced version of the things that make humans... well human. For example, according to Dad, my sister can empathize with anyone. And she can take in the pain of those around her and then project what they need to cope. This is what makes her an amazing social worker/advocate and will soon make her an exceptional therapist.
My brother sees things. He sees the past, the present, and though we'll never know for certain, I think he also sees with a little 6th Sense as well. I think this in some ways is more difficult to live with, or it certainly seems so for him (and that creepy kid from the movie.)

And that brings us to me. I have the talent to read people, and places. In the first few minutes of a meeting, I know whether or not the person I am with is a... good person, an honest person, a person that I want to be around. I'm not right all of the time, but if I am meeting this person alone, I am usually pretty close. Obviously this skill has helped me out along this journey of life, specifically on job interviews and as a bartender. I get feelings about places... and sometimes, I just turn around and leave. Sometimes I wish I could do that with people.

So, why am I telling you this?
Yesterday we drove up to Cherokee for a "Celebration of Life" party. It was more memorial service than party, but it was nice. My friend Jess' mother-in-law Denise passed away suddenly Sunday night. Only 49 years old, and it has been suggested that it was an asthma attack, and considering the conditions outside this year, it's not surprising that an asthma attack was fatal. Anyway, this has been an incredibly hard week on my friend. Her husband is useless on a good day, so imagine him with his mother's shocking passing. So... I walked into the VFW for the party. I stopped to chat with my godsons. And then I found her. And she came sobbing into my arms. And I fought back tears. For the rest of the day I fought back tears. While I normally wouldn't have cried during a memorial in front of so many people who looked at me as if I were an oddity, I brushed aside tears that just wouldn't stop. I felt sadness and fear and anger. I was overwhelmed by strong emotions. I knew Denise, she was a very nice woman. But other than the interactions within my friend's family, we didn't know each other that much. So where were these feelings coming from? I think I actually became an emotional sponge. I was feeling all of Jess' emotions. Her sadness and loss of Denise. Her fear of the future with her husband and their son, her anger towards Denise's family for thinking ill of her and abusing her husband's rights - the greed pouring from them instead of grief. I felt everything she felt, as if it were my own. Once I was certain that there was little else I could do for my friend, we said our good-byes and left. And I almost cried all the way to Scott's mother's home. I told him that I was feeling Jess's... everything. And that she was so sad at my leaving her and at being responsible for her husband; and that I thought there was worse to come.

We left Cherokee about 90 minutes later. And I "knew" something had happened with Jess. And I was right. Denise's family treated her poorly, they spoke so low so her half-deaf husband couldn't hear what was being decided about his mother's estate. Etc. etc. etc. I felt raw inside. I had wicked headache brewing. You know the kind... the one that you get after you've been sobbing and crying all day. Except I hadn't been. None of these emotions had happened to me. But I soaked them all up, just like a sponge. It took 2 Excedrin and 2 Tylenol PM to tame the headache. And the drug-induced coma I had been hoping for only lasted maybe 5 hours with another hour of laziness. Not enough to reset my system, but enough to give me a head start. I'm available for calls... but I don't think I will be calling up North for a while. I need a break. And a way to block this new level of empathy. Either that or I need to become a sponge for an overly happy person. Know anyone like that?

Post Birthday Reflections...

3 Going on 23, enough said.

We had a great party Saturday. Lots of fun. Lots of friends, and LOTS of family!

It was a long day, but I figure when people drive 3 hours for your party, well then it should be worth it. :)

Weston wanted to go to Adventureland on Sunday. So after brunch with my family, we went. Weston rode all of his favorite rides, got a tattoo, and played some games. A great day again.

I've said it before, and I'm saying it again - I Can't Believe my baby is 3 years old! Yesterday I realized that he will start Kindergarten in 2 years. 2 years!!! OMG. Where has the time gone?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WESTON!!!

Weston turns 3 on Sunday, July 31st.
His big (and because it's both sides of the family, it's always big) party is Saturday. Pool party with a Party Room and Nacho bar plus games.
So... new background for a few days in honor of my
Bouncing (off the walls) Baby (not so much) Boy.
Happy Birthday, Weston!!!

28 weeks along








newborn










1 year old










2 years old










almost 3 years old

Old School

So my friend - really? maybe little-not-really-related-sister would be better... .

Anyway, Erika posted a blog about her top 5 Backstreet Boys videos. And as I watched all 5 of these videos... I got a little nostalgic. I remember Backstreet Boys and N'Sync (I was definitely more BSB) in late high school and early college. And while I wanted to say that they were for young teens, let's be honest, I had the BSB cds. I went to the concert. I even had a favorite. They were a boy band! And I love Boy Bands.

It was 1989, August I think. And my mom was in Iowa with my grandma who was dying of cancer. And we didn't have school yet, but my Dad brought the 3 of us back to Pensacola to get ready. I was in our room, and my Dad yelled up the stair to turn the channel to whatever number it was, that there were so cute boys singing on Oprah. And who was it you ask? It was New Kids on the Block!!! And I was smitten. That was it. The beginning of my Boy Band love.

So, flash forward to Erika's blog reminding my of my love for BSB. And so from the blog, I turned to my iPhone. And I went to iTunes. And I started looking up music. I got 5 New Kids on the Block songs. And from there I started looking for all of my missing 80s faves. I downloaded 5 songs from the Jets, 2 from Debbie Gibson, 3 from the Beastie Boys, Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart (speaking of great videos), and I tried to download the entire Footloose soundtrack. Only there isn't enough room! And I deleted over 100 pictures. So tonight or tomorrow, I am going to have to plug into the main computer at home and start reorganizing my music. And maybe, just maybe, there will be room for Kenny Loggins!

Harry Potter: DH2 Review

So we went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.

Long story short; we wanted to go to the 9:15 show, we ended up at the 10pm show. Years ago that wouldn't have made a difference. Now... I felt old trying to stay awake and did some long blinking. Yeah, i know.

Upon 3 days of reflection, it was a good movie. It really was. And I'm sure as time goes by, I will learn to love it. That being said, if you have read the book recently, or have a photographic memory for the written word - wait a while. Get the book out of your head. Forget your favorite parts as much as you can. (I didn't wait long enough. And I Do have the photographic memory of the written word.)

***Spoiler*** Turn away now if you don't want to know!!!***
My favorite part of all the HP books are the Weasleys. I love this family, I love their dynamic. I love how they have absorbed Harry and Hermione as if they were always there. I love the humor of the siblings. And ok, I love the twins, Fred and George. I think that Fred and George have some of the best scenes in the books. And I am always disappointed that Fred and George are not included in the movies as much as in the books. In Deathly Hallows, it's the twins who provide a much needed break from the doom and gloom of Harry's life. And the Director cut it out!

My favorite part of the book was during the fighting at Hogwarts. Harry and friends had killed the 6th Horocrux, and were heading back to the fight. They ran into the Weasleys... including Percy Weasley who has been disconnected from his family since he chose the Ministry of Magic over the truth about "You-Know-Who." During the fighting, Fred was giving Percy crap about coming back, and Percy responded in kind. It was a really funny. And heartbreaking when Fred was killed in an explosion minutes after Percy's joke - with a laughing grin still on his face.

This entire scene was left out of the movie! These family scenes - viewing the bodies of Fred, Lupin, Tonks, and little Collin Creevy in horror, seeing his family, the Weasleys, huddled in grief... this is what made Harry accept his fate in the Forbidden Forrest, not entirely the memories of Severus Snape in the pensieve.

Other things I wasn't thrilled by:

1. Snape's death in the boat house instead of the Shrieking Shack. add to that, Nagini not being in a protective bubble. I was looking forward to seeing Snape's death in the bubble.
2. Dobby not being buried in the garden of Shell Cottage, but instead far away on a sand dune.
3. the changes made solely for the benefit of 3-D: Harry and Voldemort fighting in the rafters and not the Great Hall; Nagini fighting with Hermione and Ron (never happened); the order change of Neville killing Nagini at the very end, and that being the reason Voldemort wasted away. (Where did the wasting away come from anyway? that was just... eew.)
4. the Herbology group throwing mandrakes, etc. and Prof. Trelawney throwing crystal balls at the Death Eaters. that would have been cool, even in 3-D.

Things I really enjoyed, even if some of it was pure imagination:

1. Having Ollivander retell the story of the Deathly Hallows at the beginning, even though he had no idea of the Hallows in the book, only of the Deathstick, aka Elder Wand.
2. Only calling the Elder Wand by that name and not the 4 or 5 other names it had in the books - way to keep it simple for the non-readers!
3. Hermione and Ron's escapade in the Chamber of Secrets. big kiss here, but i still missed Harry telling them to basically get a room after the fighting (in the book.)
3.a - Ginny and Harry's big kiss in the middle of the chaos, then running in opposite directions to kick ass!
4. Molly Weasley calling Bellatrix a "Bitch" in a PG-13 movie! It.Was.Fabulous!
5. Snape's Memories. They were beautiful, even if some were missing.
6. The end with the Big 3 disposing of the Elder Wand and reflecting and being together on the bridge to Hogwarts, nice ending.

All in all, this was a good movie, no matter what I've said. And I think as I move away from the books a bit, I will enjoy this movie a lot.
And if you are wondering at which part of the movie I did some extended blinking? Well... it may have been when the dragon was flying away from London and deciding where to land. There. I said it. I'm sorry, Harry. :)

my current obsession

Right now I am re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, aka Book 7. I've read it twice before, but I am now reading it again in preparation for Part 2 of this movie.
I love Harry Potter. He is an endearing character. Even more endearing are Harry's Friends. The development of these beloved characters throughout these 7 books is just outstanding. I have grown to love them as much as Harry. I cry when they die. (Ok, that just may be hormones that never went away from pregnancy, but still - I cry.
Deathly Hallows Part 2 opens Friday. I will be camping and not able to go. I'm pretty bummed. And I like camping. But this? This is Harry Potter! The end of a decade's worth of movie magic.
These characters have fought for so much. And it's finally over and things will happen that will surprise the viewers who haven't read the books. I can't wait to be in the theater when these people gasp over the revelations. The shared excitement is something to behold.
I spent the weekend having all sorts of Harry Potter movies playing on ABC Family (ch. 32 in DSM.) Weston watched a bit with me. You see, Weston was born on July 31st... the same day as our hero Harry. I tell him this all the time. I hope it encourages Weston to read all of the books, which I, of course, have.
These actors will always be known for Harry Potter. They have grown up as these characters right in front of our eyes. I wish them continued success in whichever field they choose - Acting, modelling, continued education. But surely the choice is theirs! And their future is bright.

a little bit of what's in my brain...

And now it's July. I swear this year is flying by faster than ever before. Weston will be 3 years old 3 weeks from today. It's crazy. He's brilliant and vain and ornery as hell. He exasperates me 80% of the time. He has perfected the temper tantrum. (Much to my dismay.) What is it with toddlers? I'm not sure what's worse: a toddler or a teenager? I'm sure that one day, scientists will discover that human beings going through hormonal and emotional changes (toddlers and teenagers) have the same chemical imbalances and brain patterns, etc as some bipolar patients. Then again, maybe they already have and I'm just unaware. That wouldn't be anything new.

So... what have we been up to? Well, we have season passes to Adventureland in Altoona. Weston's free, so that's nice. We don't feel guilty for going for a few hours and riding the rides or just going to the water park and then leaving early. We've been 3 or 4 times, enough to pay for the passes. And Weston loves it. He loves the rides that make me sick to my stomach. He's mad that he's not tall enough for the roller coasters, but he loves the water rides. He's such a "boy."

We celebrated the June birthdays with a big family "to-do" in Cedar Rapids. Picnic, pool party with the kiddos, and a nice dinner at TJ's in CR (try it, you'll like it!) Then we followed with some family pictures outside, and they turned out great! We moved Shannon from the Southside to Ankeny on the 11th. By "we" I mean the movers she hired (thank god.) But it still took the whole family to get everything done. On the 24th, Shannon joined us for a trip to Kansas City to watch the Cubs play the Royals. The Cubs lost, but we had a great time. The Royal fans were so nice, and Kauffman Stadium was just beautiful. We sat in the outfield by the waterfalls. And I have found a new love for the Map App on my iPhone. It saved us a few times when i got turned around. And yes, I am admitting that I got lost. And that I am not a nice person when I have a back seat driver or get lost.

So... that brings us to July. We had a nice Independence Day weekend. Shannon and I visited the Des Moines Farmer's Market for the very first time. I swear, it's like a carnival for adults! So much fun. Scott and Weston and I traveled to CR to visit our friends, the Knights, back from Delaware. Enjoyable time with the kids, etc. Reaffirmed my dislike in Red Robin. Home by 6pm. Mom and Dad stayed with Shannon for the weekend. They brought dinner over and we took Weston to see the fireworks. Scott stayed home to rest. He's been putting in ridiculously long hours (like 20 hrs straight and back at work less than 6 hrs later.) for weeks. He is still recovering. Monday, Aunt Linda & Uncle David came up from CR and we all celebrated our Independence with a traditional American Summer past time: grilling and picnicking! Loads of fun and great food! this was at Shannon's new duplex in Ankeny. It's coming together so nicely for her, and she has a great back yard, nice and flat. Perfect for Weston to learn how to play golf!

That bring us to now. A relaxing weekend at home. We took Weston to Cars 2 yesterday. I love going to movies with him. He's so funny to watch. Weston didn't want to go anywhere today, so here I am, blogging, searching the net, getting ready to start dinner. We're camping in Paullina next weekend. And then Weston's birthday party is the 30th. Pool party. tons of fun!!!

Alright, it's 5pm, and i need to start dinner. I hope to be better at this. sometime soon. :)

Photo Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

it's been a while... April is gone, and May is on it's way out too.

Sorry that it's been so long.

Let's put it this way, you know it's been a while when my sister asks when I am going to blog again. :(

I'd blame Facebook, and while that's partly true, it's not exactly true. I just haven't had any urge to be on the computer. I'll be doing something or just sitting somewhere and a great blog idea will come to me, and I'll be working it out in my head for while. Then when I'm ready to put it into words or start writing or whatever you want to call it, I just can't bring myself to get onto the computer. I have this fabulous little netbook that I used to be so in love with. Absolutely in love with. And on occasion, I am still in love with it. I love that I can use it in bed or at a campground if I choose. But, after spending all day on the computer at work, the last thing I want to do is "work" at home. I even Facebook on my phone to avoid the computer. (Though if you ask my sister, it's because I am a "tech-whore." Her words, not mine.) So, that's my reason - I hate acting like work at home. Freud it all you want, I generally feel the same about work too.

I heard about a study on the news a while ago... you live longer if you like the people that you work with. I love the people that I work with. It's the reason that I have stayed here even though times are so bad that I have nightmares about this place. I spend 9 hours a day around these people, and I truly like them all and love some of them. (Just some, not all.)So... what's been going on in the Land of Erin?

Weston turns 3 in about 10 weeks. I've reserved the room for his birthday party and need to work on the invites so I can get RSVPs since it's a pool party. Underwater theme. Something different than Cars or trains. And speaking of, Weston is very much into CARS 2 and Thomas the Train, and suddenly Curious George. He's getting to the point of being a little mouthy and definitely a toddler. He seems to be eating rarely, though if he's hungry, it's a thunderstorm of "Mom!!!!" But he's such a "little boy" now. Oh, and he's in love with babies.

Which brings on our next topic. Baby #2. It's not that we don't want another baby. We very much do. It's the affordability of another baby. Can I afford over $500 every 2 weeks for daycare? And where would we put it? And will my job work with me? Will my job still be here??? So many concerns. But I am definitely feeling the baby fever. Scott is feeling it. And Weston? Well, if you ask him, he says no. He has Baby Elle (our friends' little girl) and he's good with her.

And on the note of another baby... I was standing next to my husband the other day, and I was pretty close. I was shocked to see that without shoes that I barely come up to his shoulders. And it made me blush. Sometimes the way Scott looks at me reminds of when we started dating and I just giggle. Yes, girlish little giggles. I wish I could have more of these moments. I wish that Scott and I could have more of these moments together. I loved how we were at the very beginning. In the "new" time. I loved how we were when I was pregnant and just after Weston was born. We were so good as a couple. We were so loving. Now... we're tired. Constantly tired. I think it's mostly my fault. I'm so stressed lately. And I've been battling some wicked spring headaches. But in general, I'm quiet. I've got so much going on in my head, that I just don't want anything coming out of my mouth. So I don't say anything. But I am trying. During those "good times" I noticed something... we touched. A lot. Nothing naughty, well not all the time, but in general. He'd play with my hair, I'd lean into him on the couch, we'd hold hands. So, I am trying to do that. I want to do that. It's an effort that I can make. And I think it's helping. It makes me happier. And anything that does that is a good thing, right?

So... the last thing on this agenda is Mom. You've been waiting the whole time for this part, right? Mom is doing... AMAZING!!! She is getting so much stronger! Her numbers are great and the bone marrow donated by that young man has taken control! What a wonderful young man!!! (We joke that all Mom ever needed was a Young Man inside her!!! tee-hee!!!)

So, that's it now. This is already long enough. Any topics you'd like me to reflect on next?

Have you seem our Eagles???

Well... ok, Decorah's Eagles. But Still, Iowa. Check this out!!!

unFriending

In this socially conscious world, is the death of a friendship marked by the "unFriending" of someone on Facebook?

I haven't seen The Social Network, but if you have... is the answer in there? Does the mini-Mark Zuckerburg tell us how to end a friendship for all the world to see?


Remember when you were a kid? When someone hurt your feelings, you told your Mom and they either called the other kid's mom or they said to let it go. And when you let it go, what did that mean? They were no longer invited over to your house for play dates and birthday parties. And then... it was over. Frienship ended. For about 5 seconds, because then the mean kid became a nice kid who shared their Fruit Rollup with you. And suddenly you're friends again.


Remember middle and high school? I have diaries detailing the fights that made up these 7 years. Your "group" starts out as 15 or so girls... it grows and shrinks over time. Someone told a secret or stole a boyfriend while at the skating rink, and suddenly the group is divided on sides. Fractured from the whole for a lot longer than elementary school. Then high school starts and suddenly the groups are merged and split again, mainly based on class load and interests. And while there's fighting, it's more mature. And a lot more devious. Think Gossip Girl without all the money, clothes, and grand scale. Same thoughts and plans on a much smaller stage. I mean seriously, in the 90s... the worse think I could think to call someone was a slut. And even then I would feel guilty that my mom whould find out. But... once fractured, high school friendships didn't generally grow back together. If anything, the divide grew larger and more definite until graduation. Your parents wonder what happened to that girl who practically lived here every weekend, and no matter how you explained what happened, they don't get it.


College friendships tend to last. Maybe it's the fact that the most growing up you do emotionally is from 18-25. And it's your college friends, and the ones you've kept since high school that grow with you. These are your first "adult" friends.


And this brings me to Facebook.
I refused to join this thing in the beginning. It seemed too young. Something my sister was doing in high school, and I was so past High School. (Yes, with capital letters.) So, I didn't joing Facebook until 2008 or 2009, after my son was born, and my sorority friends were dragging me (kicking and screaming) into the era of the social network. And suddenly I was "friends" with over 200 people! People I knew from elementary school and on. And it was like we've always been friends. I knew their stories, and they followed mine. It was like they cared with 100 or so characters. It was almost as good as my high school reunion. I was a mediocre follower for a while. I posted pictures and commented a few times, but after a while, I became addicted. I followed my "friends," I played a game or 2, I commented on a million things a day. And I started trying to post things to see what people would say. Facebook has come in handy, especially when I need parenting advice or general questions answered. But I think it also has a way of de-socializing us too. My sister calls me a "Facebook Whore" or "Post Whore" saying that I am being antisocial by being on my new iPhone while we're together, constantly checking Facebook. Part of me thought about giving it up for Lent. Then I realized that I am not Catholic, so I don't have to give anything up. (Yep... addicted.)
Anyway, desocialization by Facebook: So, we feel like we're super involved in our friends' lives because we read their posts and see their pictures... it's like we're always there. But we're not. Not really. And after a while, when you think about it, you realize that you haven't seen your friend in almost 6 months. And they don't seem to realize it either. And suddenly it's like you don't even know each other. And then a FB post is taken the wrong way (like a text message, but don't get me started on Text Wars.) and the next thing you know, you haven't seen any posts for a while. And when you go looking, you can find this friend amongst your friends. And when you search all of FB for them... you discover that you are no longer "friends." You have 2 mutual friends (did they unfriend other people as well?) but that's it.
Not Friends.
Unfriended.
The end of a 6 year relationship.
With the click of a button.
Is this what our society has come to?
(I hope not.)

design?

So what do you think of the new design? The background, header, and font changes... do you like?
I needed a change and decided to focus more on me. Is that selfish? I just figured that this was my blog, so it should reflect me today. And I love pin-up girls and the style of days gone by. I especially liked this Art Deco design... the colors are a little too gold, but I liked the rest so much that I ran with it. I am going to try to blog more and Facebook less. Facebook has become highly addictive. Ok... so I am somewhat addicted. I am by no means as addicted as my Aunt in Texas who plays Mafia and Vampire Wars all hours of the day and night. I'm not sure what's going on there... I'd have to join one of her games to probably find out.

Well, if you are reading this, let me know what you think of the design. I'm interested and Vain enough to want to know. :)

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

It's been a while, I know. I feel like I haven't spent a weekend at home since the 1st of the year when we were sort of, but not really, snowed in. Weston has been gone so often that when I picked him up from daycare, I found him on a play cell phone talking to our cats, Fiona and Nola, and telling them that he'd see them Thursday. It was a Monday. :)
It's been a big 6 weeks of 2011 so far. We've had new babies born. And Mom is recovering nicely from her Stem Cell transplant. She was able to leave the hospital about 10 days ago. She needs to eat more and take her meds better. And then there is the depression... but it takes time. And thankfully we now seem to have some.

This is Weston with our friends Dee & Eric's daughter, Elle. Elle was born on January 27th. And Weston got to see her at just under 30 mins old! And he was in love. In this picture, Elle is 3 days old and Weston is already holding her! It feels so good to have friends who love my son so much to include him in their happiness. That day... he really seemed like a Big Brother. And it gave me so many ideas and put so many thoughts into my head. But then, last Thursday (2/10) we were at the Mall and Weston was just awful. So hyper, running everywhere, just plain embarrassing. I actually told him that this was the Reason he is an only child. That if he were a good boy, we'd think about giving him a brother or sister, but naughty boys don't get these. I can't believe I said this to my little boy. In general, he's a good kid. He's happy and talkative. And I've been spoiled by him for so long, that it's taking me a little while to get going on the punishment thing. Time Outs have been effective so far, but hard to handle when he refuses. But I am doing my best to stick to my guns.
Other friends of ours had a daughter at the beginning of the month. I haven't met her yet. They do not want small children around her, and I am always with my toddler. They think he'll get her sick. Funny thing is... they're breastfeeding. Babies have the best immune system for the first 3 months of their lives, more so when breastfed. But... whatever. It's their choice. But I am going to say it: it hurts being shut out like this. I begged to see their daughter multiple times each week for the first 3 weeks of her life. I was denied each time. There was always some excuse: family visiting, plans, does Weston have a cold? It made no sense. So I stopped asking during weeks 4 and 5. Just gave up. And it hurt. Her father was a huge part of my life. He was a part of Weston's life too. He visited in the hospital, was there the day he came home, the years after. So... to be so excluded when we discussed visiting the week before she was born... just plain hurts. Today I asked again if I could meet this little baby. And was told again that there is family visiting. I reminded him that I know this family, would it be ok to stop by? And I was told that he would get back to me. Crack~ another piece of my heart breaks. I must be a masochist when it comes to friends. Anyway... I guess I am forced to watch this baby grow up on Facebook. And I will never really meet her. It seems absurd.
*** In Response to this post, proving he still reads it (ha!), this beautiful little girl is not breastfed, she is bottle fed. And her doctor warned them about RSV... so they are being extremely cautious. Ok. I understand that. I was wrong about the feeding methods. But what about me? Why the evasive behavior when I want to visit? Also, he mentioned that I haven't shown interest in our friendship over the last year. Ok, I am the only one who started any conversations on getting together. So, that would mean that I have shown a lot of interest. But, they were always busy, and we were out of town a lot. My Mom was sick and almost dying for most of 2010. That takes a lot of time. Sorry we couldn't be more accommodating.
So, today is Valentine's Day. I used to hate this day with a passion. (About the only excitement that I ever experienced on Valentine's Day was the 5th grade when my box won for the best decorated and Nicole Cronk's mom brought us Ice Cream Sundaes for our class party.) I never had a boyfriend between Halloween and V-day. All of my favorite holidays. Until my husband that is. And he has certainly tried over the years to make this a day to remember. Today, he did a very good job. This year, I told my husband that I didn't want a card or anything. I just wanted to make dinner for him and Weston. But I did get him a box of Chocolate Turtles. And he came home with these potted Mini Yellow Roses for me to take to work. And they are beautiful. He said that he hopes they brighten my days at work. (I am thinking he thinks it will help at home too.) I am guessing it's no secret that the Yellow Rose of Texas had an influence of my favorite color of rose. Scott and my Dad have both been sending me yellow roses for years. These are just like little balls of Sunshine on my desk. I hope I can keep them healthy and alive. I made Weston a valentine and we got him a small present, so I hope he enjoys that later.
My little man wants Pizza tonight, so he gets his wish! Party pizza for Weston. I am making Scott and I fillets with Garlic Mashed Potatoes and sauteed green beans. I think he'll be happy.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day with someone to love!!!!

Mom update

Mom is doing as well as can be expected. She is exhausted this week. This is the week that all of the Chemo side effects present themselves. She is also having multiple shots into her stomach to promote the regrowth of her immune system. These shots are normal after chemo, but they hurt a lot. And they bring down her moral a bit.
But other than that, she's doing pretty good. She's walking and riding the stationary bike as often as she is able.

yea!!!

WE HAVE STEM CELLS!

Mom is doing well!

She had her stem cell transplant just after 2pm yesterday. It was about an hour late from what we were told in the morning. Which of course did nothing for Mom's anxiety. It took about 20 minutes and was an amazingly simple process.

Mom was anxious and nervous... teary all morning. She rested and we took a walk. She found a stationary bike at the end of the hall, and rode over a Mile!!!! We had a simple lunch and chatted and took lots of pictures.

There was the potential for problems - shock, even death. But luckily everything went perfectly!

Her nurses, Paula and Stephanie, stayed about 20 or so minutes after the end of the transplant to make sure everything was ok. About a half hour after that, the nurses, doctors, etc on the floor came in and sang "Happy T-Day" to Mom and gave her a big gold balloon.

She was just beaming after the sing-along!

We have been blessed so far. Now it's just a matter of not rejecting these stem cells and beating this shitty disease.

Interesting Facts:

1. You could actually see the Stem Cells travelling through the lines from the bag to the Hickman Port in Mom's chest.
2. It will take about 4 days for the Stem Cells to travel to their perfect resting place within Mom's body to everywhere that they need to be. And they get there through the blood stream all by themselves. Pretty Darn Cool if you ask me.
3. Once this whole thing is a success, Mom's blood type will match her Stem Cell Donor's, even if it is different than what hers is now! So... Mom was born as a B- (haha, B Negative), and her Stem Cell Donor is a B+. Well, after Mom's body accepts the transplant and grows her own immune system back, she will now match the Donor's type: B+. (this is just an example. We know nothing about the donor. Not even the blood type.) Crazy and Awesome isn't it?

Thank you so much for all of your Prayers and Positive Thoughts. Keep it Up!!!! I have become a true believer in the Power of Positive Thinking.

TRANSPLANT DAY

Transplant Day is tomorrow!!!

Some time between 10 am and 2 pm, Mom is receiving her Stem Cell Transplant!!!

Shannon and I are travelling from Des Moines tonight and staying at her friend's house... so we don't have to wake up so early tomorrow. I am going to miss Weston though.

If all goes well (and it will) we will be back in Des Moines by dinner time tomorrow.

Cross your fingers and include us once again in your thoughts and prayers! Thanks!

2011

Wow... didn't realize I was this far gone. It's been almost a month.
Time to gt back to posting. Soon. As soon as I can.
-E.