I LOVE PARENTS MAGAZINE! I just read a funny article about being a mom .. .. enjoy!
MOM WANTED
Job Listing: Mom
The right candidate for this unpaid volunteer position thrives in a fast-paced environment with a lot of moving parts that may or may not be wearing pants. It's a hands-on role with responsibilities that include making carrots look interesting and helping to shape people you'll worry about for the rest of your life.
Requirements:
Must be self-motivated and have eyes in several places on head. Should be able to withstand school fund-raising committee meetings and have a cold for three years straight. The right candidate will be able to take criticism, possible from a red-faced person lying on the floor of Costco. Being able to turn milk cartons into a birdhouse at a moments notice is a plus.
Benefits:
Some of the most incredible moments of your life
A holiday devoted to you once a year
The opportunity to sometimes get help raking your driveway
Key Responsibilities:
60% Feeling so much love you think you'll melt into a puddle
8% Stepping in puddles
7% Rescuing doll from dismemberment
6% Stacking books into a pile and saying: "We have to get a better system for our books!" and then watching as all the books are pulled out of the pile.
5% Daydreaming about sitting in a French cafe having a conversation that doesn't involve poop
4% Laughing uncontrollably (in a good way)
3% Laughing uncontrollably (in a scary way)
2% Getting locked out of a childproofed cabinet
NOTE:
Sick days may be accrued but not used until sometime in the 2030's
Due to the surprising popularity of this position, we cannot reply to every applicant.