Nothing More Than Feelings

Here are a few pointers of how to talk about your feelings with your husband.

1. Make sure you're on the same page.
B: Hey, what's this thing from Old Navy on the card? Did you go there recently?
N: No, I returned something online, that should be a credit, not a debit.
B: Oh yeah here it is.
N: Screw you.
B: Sorry, I wasn't saying you can't buy stuff, I was just wondering what that charge was about.
N: Oh, no, the screw you was for something else.

2. Don't attack unnecessarily.
B: Was the "screw you" necessary?
N: Well, no, but I thought I would make my point better that way.
B: Ok, so not ok. What did you want to talk about?

3. Don't jump to hasty conclusions
N: Do you hate me and your unborn child?
B: No...
N: Well then I'm going to continue buying iron supplements (side note: pregnancy has made me anemic)
B: Ok, that's fine. All I said was that they were really expensive, could we try something else?

4. Be flexible.
N: No! That supplement is really effective and it absorbs very well and it's what the midwives recommended.
B: Ok, fine. Keep buying them.

5. Don't beat a dead horse.
N: Besides, iron rich foods aren't enough and my prenatal vitamins don't have enough iron in them apparently.
B: Ok, fine. Keep buying them.
N: This is your child! How dare you.
B: Ok, fine. Keep buying them.

6. Know when to quit.
N: Ok.
B: Ok.
N: Good. Moving on.

Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Suicide Note

"Oh, you're starting to waddle!"

Excuse me while I remove myself from this earth.