Sadie Hollis : Home Birth

Sadie Hollis,
  On the wonderful, marvelous night you were born.

The back story goes like this: In December of 2016 on a Wednesday night Jones stayed with us while Jordan drove for the van ministry at church. When she came to pick up Jones she said she was, "so tired she could cry". The next day or maybe even later that same night she told me she was pregnant. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I was so happy for her and so happy that I wasn't pregnant. Or was I? Over that next week I became increasingly paranoid that I, too, was pregnant. Jordan encouraged me to take a test and I was in fact PREGNANT. Your Daddy and I were smiling, laughing, hugging and kissing. Just like we did when we found out we were pregnant with your brothers. And just like the two times before, your daddy prayed.

Fast forward to our second and last u/s at 20 weeks. Hank was set on you being a "sister" from the moment we told him we were having a baby so he went with us to Dr. J's office. I had a dream the night before about our appointment and what happened in my dream is exactly what happened in reality. 3 lines. We saw 3 lines and just like that I was dreaming of what my DAUGHTER would look like and who she would be. Your daddy was shocked but your brother was not. The look of shock on your daddy's face was of no worry to me. He rises to every occasion and is such a pillar of strength and steadfastness.

My pregnancy with you was not without challenge. I felt strongly that I was to birth at home and finding a midwife that was willing to travel to Alabama for a woman who has already had two precipitous births, took about two weeks. Not long after finding a midwife and a doula I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I was so discouraged. I already ate a diet healthier than everyone in my life, was there room for improvement (of course but I was emotional and irrational)? How would I avoid the meds, but more importantly how would I avoid the unwanted side effects from the meds? The diabetes education class at the hospital that was mandatory for insurance purposes was of zero help and the information on the Internet was useless also. Thankfully my beloved OB was still doing my prenatal care and spent hours with me at several appointments EDUCATING me. We went through every page of my food and exercise journal figuring out exactly what my body could tolerate at what time of each day. Dr. Johannson assured me that I could do this and that as long as I took care of myself that this condition would not interfere with the birth I was dreaming about for you. He was right and once he helped me get my diet straightened out I felt better than ever! Anything for my babies! After my diagnosis I didn't gain a single ounce and prayed daily that you would be born at the perfect weight on the perfect date (having a big gestational diabetes baby was intimidating to me and I also didn't want to have a home birth and have to worry about baby's blood sugar after delivery).

Now for the big event! Our home birth supplies were ready to go and the boys and I had been watching water home birth videos on YouTube for weeks. Our ESTIMATED due date was Tuesday, August 8th. We woke up that morning and your daddy went to his first day of school (with students) and I took the boys to story time at the Anniston library. Hank and Miles enjoyed it and so did I. That night I walked up and down the auxiliary road while Miles followed me crying and having a two year old meltdown. At one point I think Hank was crying too. I jokingly told Mom and Paige that they must know it's almost time. We put the boys to bed around 8 or 9 and curled up on the couch for a few episodes of Friday Night Lights. Your daddy and I exchanged foot rubs with coconut oil and ylang-ylang. He concentrated on all the points on the ankle and shin that are said to help start labor. We headed to bed at 11pm and made guesses about how much you'd weigh. At 11:30 I had my first contraction and I hadn't fallen asleep yet. Before I go on, let me tell you about the Wednesday night before. I was up from 2:30am-8am with about 4 contractions an hour. I couldn't sleep through them but I also had to concentrate to breathe through them. I did a lot of hands and knees thinking you may  just be in a wonky position. The next day at my 39 wk appointment I asked Dr. J to check dilation (so I could tell my GA midwife where I was at after laboring during the night). I was already a very stretchy 5! So, back to the night of my EDD (a week later).  My contractions were 8 minutes apart for the first 2 and after that they got closer and closer. I called Jackie, our midwife, first and then Paige, Brittany and Jordan. Right after that my water broke while I was taking a break on the toilet- how convenient, no mess to clean! Will then called our doula, Sharon. All during this time I am leaning on the bathroom counter listening to my bethel station on pandora, swaying and singing. When I got tired I would just sit on the toilet and rest. Will was in the laundry room during this time. He already had the birth tub blown up and was trying to hook the hose up to the washing machine outlet to fill the tub up with water. So I am laboring alone and thinking to myself, "do not have her on the toilet". I knew there was no way Will would have the tub filled with water in time so I wanted to move to our bed but because my waters were broken I didn't want to deal with the hassle. I say to your daddy, "I don't know why you're fooling with that hose. We don't have time. I don't even care about the tub anymore." He continues to work knowing that I'm in transition and there is nothing he can do for me at this time. After a few more contractions Paige arrives. She is here for one or two contractions and then I tell them, "This is it. She is coming." I don't think either one of them believed me because it hadn't been one hour since my first contraction. During the next contraction I made believers out of those two and your daddy caught you in our bathroom at 12:28am. You started crying instantly and you were so pink and healthy looking. Your cord was very short- about 10 inches- so we sat and waited for our placenta to be birthed while you were skin to skin with me and wrapped in a gatorade towel (Coach's daughter). Sharon, the doula, and your Memommy arrived. After that (about 10 minutes) we took a bath together and floated our placenta in a bowl beside us. Then Daddy cut your cord and we made our way to our bed to cuddle and ride that birth high together. You were my smallest baby despite having diet and exercise controlled GD. You were 7 lbs (remember how I prayed for you to be the perfect weight?) and 18 1/4 inches. You had a head full of black hair and looked a lot like your brother, Hank. I have no idea what song was playing but we were listening to my bethel station on pandora. You were beautiful and perfect and your daddy said, "The Lord was so good to us. This birth went perfectly." He was 100% right. Having you was a powerful reminder of God's grace, protection, and goodness. Preparing for your home birth was exciting because I knew it was God's plan. He prompted me to birth at home and gave me perfect peace. I also knew we would birth unassisted because I birth faster than anyone could have made it to our house. Your brothers slept through it all so when they woke up it was better than Christmas morning. I'll never forget those bright eyes as they crawled in our bed and looked every inch of you over and held and kissed you. I believe they loved you deeply before they ever laid eyes on you or held you in their arms. The joke surrounding your birth was that there was a new OB in Alexandria- Dr. Will Ginn. Having your Aunt Paige there was very special to me. As you grow up you will understand why completely. Your Uncle Todd, Sally, Nana, Jordan, Brittany and Cora were all there the next morning.  They too will be some of the most important people in your life. Little girl, you are loved. I will always remember the wonderful, marvelous night you were born.

Don't you ever grow up

I have so much to catch up on here about the boys but tonight, for my records, here is a tid bit. Last week Hank taught himself to take his shirt off by himself. No big deal? Huge deal! He can now fully undress and dress himself. My baby is growing up. He is needing me for less and less and is communicating more and more. This past weekend we got Hank a big bed and the crib is sidecarred to it. Lots of space and a low to the ground sleep surface for both boys. Tonight was their first night in the new set up and all I wanted to do is crawl in there with them. However Hank reminded me that I had to get out of his bed and go get in mine and be quiet. He is such a little man now and him turning 3 is proving to be much harder on me than any of his other birthdays or even Miles' first birthday. I love them both so much and I love watching them grow. Some days are so long and I desperately need an hour of cardio by myself yet the months and years just fly by. I don't want to forget any of it. Okay, maybe the parts that I almost lose my mind but everything else...the pudgy cheeks, button noses, mullet curls, how I still have to help H reach the sink or water fountain, the tiny crocs, the all night nurse-a-thons, the ergo back carries, the way Miles loves on Maw Maw, the way H  still doesn't pronounce "s" in any words. Help me Lord to treat every day like a blessing and an opportunity to minister to my family.

*I had to climb back in their bed twice before I was able to finish this post. And I guess that is okay. I got a queen size on purpose because I know many nights will be spent in between my two boys. 👶🏻😴👶🏻

Babies and Best Friends

I always wanted to have babies at the same time as my best friends for the obvious reasons like:

-you talk about pregnancy all day because each of you care about it equally at the same time.

-you can try to force your kids to be besties because they will hang out all. the. time. Beginning at birth.

-zoo trips, cfa play place. Nuf said.

But now that my friend Jordan has joined the mom club there are so many more reasons that get trumps like:

-all out of wipes? I got you!

-forgot an extra outfit and baby just exploded breastmilk poop all over his? No worries, I got this!

-baby bored with his toys? Search your besties diaper bag for new entertainment.

-did you leave your snacks in the car? I have extra because when there are two or more toddlers present you need two of everything! Thanks Shea!

-need to run an errand? Don't want to pump? No worries, I have a boob for each baby!

-up every 30 minutes last night switching sides for the baby and have a short fuse with the toddler? No judgey eyes from your bestie mom friend!

-need encouragement when you are too tired to thumb through your Bible? I bet your girl has got you with a scripture text like BAM.

This list could go on and on but you get me. Having babies at the same time as your bestie is where it is at! I highly recommend it.

(Sorry Miles you got left out of this fun)

Miles: 9 Month

Stay a baby forever, pleaseeeeeee

This month:
-you said "mamama" atleast once. So you may not have meant it but we're putting it in the books!
-you are pulling up to your knees regularly.
-you started going from crawling (army style) to sitting.
-we celebrated your cousin, Ridge's, first birthday.
-you started giving high 5s.
-your 3rd tooth popped through. Top right.
-you started crawling a few steps at a time on your hands and knees.
-you are trying to pull up on everything!
-top L tooth through 4/23/16.
-you weighed 20lb 7oz on 4/11/16.

Hank cuteness:


H- "Ma, you love Daddy."
Ma- "Yes, I do. He's my best friend."
H- "He is a nice boy."


One of our friends, Anna, left two baby dolls at our house. Hank lifts his shirt to tandem nurse. Proud moment. #normalizebreastfeeding

On the way home from Georgia:
H- "I love Daddy because I work with him. He's nice. He will cut grass. He will fix a big hammer. He knows us."

When praying you often thank God for:
-getting to go to Nana and Gigi's and Pap's.
-Taylor, Pay, Cade.
-Maw-Maw, Memommy, Hollie, Rowan, Ramsey, Ridge.
-your food, your drink.
-Milesy.
-getting to go fishing, catching fish.

Your Sunday school teacher informed me that you are the one who always prays and your classmates all look at you when it is time to pray because they know you are going to be the one to say the prayer.

You can finally steer the gator at Memommy and Pap's.

When I was a nanny...

I knew it all. I juggled multiple kids like it was a walk in the park. Why? I left after an 8-10 hour day, took my pug for a walk on the cliffs with my roommate, came home prepared a meal with out being interrupted to change a diaper, sit with somebody while they poop on the potty, pull chairs to the counter for one to "help" me cook, put chairs back at the table when said helper doesn't want to listen, discipline helper when tantrum is thrown, oh, crap! something is boiling over!! Sorry, back to the point. Then I ate my dinner, cleaned the kitchen (no interruptions during these tasks either). Then I either when out with friends or binge watched shows with Bea. After that I would go to sleep and sleep for a solid 8 hours. I mean never even roll over, solid. Sun would come up, I'd run a mile and hit the 8E and start my morning routine with the children I loved more than anyone in the world. I wasn't exhausted. I was young, rested, and full of life. I had no problem making decisions about what was best for those kids in each situation. I was not mentally, physically, or emotionally exhausted. I was in tune with their bodies and how much sleep they needed or when they'd be hungry again. Plus I didn't have to worry about any major parenting decisions. My boss gave me the orders and I carried them out. No lost sleep over where they should go to school, organic everything or nah, spray the outside of the house with pesticide and risk having kids and dogs exposed or nah, discipline allllll day long or turn my head because I'm tired of the battle, neglect the house for extra time outside or stay inside just to have a big mess again by bedtime, cook something special for my man or frozen pizza again. I was 20 something playing mom by day and enjoying every single bit of San Diego by night and on the weekends. Fast forward a few years. I get married. Will is pampered and taken care of like a king. Fast forward another year. Enter Hank. Then two years later. Enter Miles. Life is crazy!!! There are so many days I am asking the Father to renew my mind, please, just renew my mind. I am exhausted. I have been waking up SEVERAL times a night for 2.5 years, I have had leaky breastfeeding boobs for 2.5 years, I care more now than ever about what is going in and on our bodies, Will works more than than ever, I'm home more now than ever, I repeat myself a bagillion times a day, I bandage bumps and scrapes, lunch turns into food art, my strong willed child turns every day events into super toddler negotiations, I save the dogs and cats from the toddler, I save the baby from the toddler, I pay the bills, run the errands, did I mention I breastfeed and my body thinks I need 3500 calories a day? This is my Life. The one I have always wanted since I was old enough to think that far down the road. All of those things listed above that sound like complaints? They really aren't. I want to do those things for my family. Maybe just not all of those things in one day or every single day. I read a post from another blog my sister suggested I read and have Kleenex handy. It was about the stage of life I'm in. Well I did. And I cried. I related with the words there about feeling like you aren't doing anything well. I love Will and think about him all day but I'm not that great at loving him when he gets home because I'm worn out. I love Hank to death. It there are days I feel like I have only yelled because I'm sick of the twonager attitude. I want Miles to stay a baby forever but I do want to sleep again. Renew my mind. Lord, you have to renew my mind. I nap with my boys every day and I won't feel ashamed or embarrassed about it because when I look on each side of me and those precious angels with long lashes and squishy cheeks are in that deep breathing stage of sleep, there is NO where in the world I'd rather be, or anything I'd rather be doing than raising my boys with Will Ginn. How blessed am I to have a husband who works so hard to provide for our wants and needs, who desires and loves sustainable living and farming like I do, who loves to be active and eat healthy like I do, who came from such a great family, who never and I mean never complains about anything. Most of the time he leaves me wondering if I contribute anything positive to our family. My Maw Maw and my Mom tell me frequently, "these are the best days of your life". I know they are right. These babies never get enough of me. I can meet almost all needs with the magic boob milk. So Lord, renew my mind. Help me to always remember that I need to live in the present and make great plans for the future. Because when this season is over that doesn't mean the fun and the love is too. Help me to embrace each new phase and to be open to transforming daily because I HAVE to start resembling Him more and me less. Have to. Cheers to coffee, iced from Jack's preferably, dates with my man, swing sets from Nana assembled by Pap, and all the things little boys are made of. Play ball!

Just for the record

 I need a prayer wall where I can write down answered prayers like Mrs. Clara in War Room. The pen needs to be attached to the wall and there needs to be no paper involved because life in this house is crazy lately. In the meantime I'll write down the answered prayers here while it's raining outside, Hank is watching a movie, Miles is babbling, and the pups are snoring.

 Not too long ago I prayed for a virus to stop and not be spread. Well it was my prayer and about 10 others praying the same thing.....and we were spared.

I prayed aloud, Priscilla Shirer style, in my kitchen for complete healing for my flu infected toddler. Boom, done!

I prayed for a girl that I could invest in, boom!

I prayed for stay at home mom friends that were like minded and that loved Jesus.... Boom, friendships growing.

I prayed our stolen dog would make it home again... Boom, pug snores fill the living room.

I prayed for health for my grandmother.


Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised. He is a personal God and he is kind. Thank you Lord.

Miles: 8 Months!

This month:

- You are 20lbs!

- You loved teething on an apple

- Hank and Mama got the flu (first time ever). Mama nursed you through it and you stayed well!

- You are scooting everywhere. You are still on your belly but have picked up speed.

- You rode in the buggy at aldi and loved it! You proudly smiled at everyone in the store.

- You have been cracking us up with all of the funny faces you've been making. 

- You learned to clap! So precious!

Hank is 2 1/2 and has been such a pleasant boy lately. Quick to listen and obey (most of the time), ever growing vocabulary, the best imagination, and has been so helpful with brother. Still loves to spend the day at Nana and GiGi's once a week. Used his Valentine's money from Memommy to buy two snakes and a snack. Had the nasty flu that took a full 7 days to get over. Went to his first church Easter egg hunt and made resurrection rolls and loved it. Already has a farmer's tan from playing outside in the nice weather. Requests cinnamon toast for breakfast daily. Went fishing every day last week. Weighs 26lbs and is 35.5in. He *is* two but I really do enjoy him most days. Since it has warmed up we have visited some parks and the outdoor CFA play place and gone on daily walks...heavenly! He requests Li's place for lunch after church every Sunday. Hilarious. Has been asking to go to Ramsey's house to play trains a lot lately. Love you Hank and I am so glad I have you to keep me entertained with your stories and to keep me laughing by trying to boss everyone around. 

Proudly showing his boo boo.