Lying

I stumbled upon a set of parenting advises while surfing the internet one night. This slide caught my attention - because Eunice did tell lie for a short period of time (throwing away her lunch but told me she finished them). I often wonder then, how did she learn to lie? Was it because of me? It took me a while to tell her not to tell lie, and also to remind myself not to overreact to a small matter, but instead, I tried to spend time talking to her to understand why or the reasons behind.

That's why this slide caught my attention and I reflected a little. And after I read this, an incident happened the next day. This time, I remembered and applied what I read.
(Re-post from my facebook post)

A cooled iron, which was in standing position, now on a sitting position and the water spilled on the storage box.

EG: WHO DID THIS? WHO TOUCHED THE IRON?
Two girls dashed over.
Nat: (Instantly) Not me!!!
I looked at Eunice.
Eunice: (Blank face) What happened?
EG: Who went and put the iron down? All the water spilled.
Eunice: Not me.
EG: It has to be one of you!
I asked again: Who touched the iron?
Nat: Not me!!
I asked Eunice: Is it you?
Eunice: (Blank face) No...
I squatted down to Nat's level and looked into her big round eyes, and asked softly: Mei, is it you?
Nat: No!
Me: Mei, please don't lie. Is it you?
Nat: No....
Me: It is you, right? Don't lie, Mei.
Nat: (Softer now) No.....
Me: Daddy is not angry. He just wants to know who did it. There's a camera in his room. If he finds out you're lying he'll get really angry.
Nat: (Immediately hugged me really tight and eyes got teary)
Me: Is it you?
Nat: (Sobbed and nodded)
Me: Why? You wanted to iron clothes is it?
Nat: (Continued sobbing and nodding)
Then I passed to daddy for some cuddle time....

This morning, I asked her: Why did you lie yesterday?
Nat: I don't want daddy to get really angry....
Me: He's not angry. He just wanted to know who did it. Can you lie next time?
Nat: No.
Me: Good.

EG and I actually still laughed whenever we talked about it. I can't forget how the little girl hugging me tightly, biting her lips, and still trying to say "Not me" with a guilt face and teary eyes - probably her heart and mind were battling. I told EG that I could have scolded Nat badly because I was sure it was her. But I remember what I read. Until today, she remembers it too and still will tell me, we cannot lie. 

Retrospectively, I also try to imagine if we would have let this go, how will this impact on a 3yo? She might find out that by telling lies, she's "safe" from being punished. And how would her young and innocent mind process this incident if we didn't have time to talk it through?

Anyway, I thank God that it ended well. It's a very good parenting experience for both me and EG too.

Junior Monopoly

We bought a set of Junior monopoly from a car boot sale at a super cheap price last year, and during the recent holiday, we finally got the chance to take it out and play with the girls.

It is a much simpler monopoly - not much strategy needed. I think it's mostly depending on luck!

But our girls took it very seriously in every game. Eunice cried a few times when she's running low on cash, and Natalie will be whining non stop if she has to keep paying. That actually makes the game less fun! I talked to them, especially Eunice, about being resilient. They got better after a few lectures, that's because I always go bankrupt first. And today, while I was making my CNY cookies in the kitchen, I heard EG laughing really loud and then someone crying.

So, what happened was - Natalie was winning the game (somehow she always wins) and had a big stack of cash. She kept saying,"I have heaps of money!"... But Eunice was losing - she didn't have any ticket booth to collect rent from so she kept paying rent. And her eyes started to get teary. EG told me Natalie went to see Eunice's eyes closely and said I think she's going to cry! And that makes our not-so-resilient girl cried out loud. What happened next was, Natalie quickly offered her a stash of money, telling her it's ok, I can give you some money!

Nat gave some cash to Eunice, hoping to make the sister feel better

And EG started laughing really loud. I also heard Natalie said,"It's ok. I don't cry because I win." And EG laughed even louder telling her, it's easy for you to say that because you win!

Anyway, EG told the girls that they both won the game tonight because they're in the same team. And that solved all the teary moments.