Every once in a while I remember that I never wrote about Margo's birth. If you are interested, here's how the whole thing went down. I actually wrote this in May and it's just been sitting in the back end of Blogger. Today seems like a good day to publish it. Note there aren't any parts I'd deem too graphic, though I do mention the word cervix. But that's about it.
As you may recall, Margo was due on Wed., Nov. 26. Of course back then we didn't know it was Margo, because we didn't know if our baby was a boy or a girl. It was just "the baby." Well, I had been hoping that the baby would hold off until after Thanksgiving because my parents were in town. And if you've ever had my dad's Thanksgiving dinner then you know why I'd want to enjoy that fully before dealing with the whole labor thing. Well as you know,
we got to enjoy Thanksgiving and then a couple days after that. It got to a point where I was really wanting to get the whole labor thing started. We went for long walks to try to get things going. For one of our walks we decided to walk up the
water tower at Volunteer Park. In our minds this was going to be very strenuous and start labor for sure. But it ended up taking like 5 minutes and we laughed because it was not difficult at all. And it didn't start labor...
We had an appointment set up for Wed. Dec. 3 for a check-up to see if we needed to induce. But at 3 am on Monday, Dec. 1, I woke up with cramping in my lower back that was the start of my labor.
They always say you should try to sleep through the early part of your labor since you won't get any sleep later, so I tried that, but couldn't sleep. I went into the living room and started watching Season 1 of "24" to distract myself. That didn't work too well. I woke Pete up and said I thought I was going into labor. I told him to keep sleeping so he went back to sleep. I stayed in the living room. At some point the cramps turned into contractions and I woke Pete up so we could start coping with and tracking them. We put in our Seinfeld Season 1 DVD so we could have some laughs while we dealt with labor...I do remember a chuckle or two but it wasn't long before Seinfeld was just background noise for us.
Our labor at home was also marked by a call from our dear friend Willis. You're asking yourself, why answer the phone if you're in labor and you don't want to talk? Well - here's why. He first called our home phone, which we didn't answer because we were, well, busy. But then he called my cell! In my mind that could mean there is an emergency and Willis is trying desperately to reach us. So Pete answered and when it was just ol' Willis bein' ol' Willis, with no emergency, Pete said, with some impatience, "IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME, WILLIS!" Pete then confessed that I was in labor and swore Willis to secrecy, because we didn't want to jinx the labor and possibly stop it. Yes folks, it's true that labor can be jinxed. Anyway Willis swore to keep our secret, and thus Willis entered the story of our labor, as he has entered all of our major milestones, including our first date, engagement and wedding.
Our doula, Rebecca, had told us about an online tool called
Contraction Master where you track your contractions. We weren't supposed to go to the hospital until my contractions were 4 minutes apart, 1 minute long, for one hour. We ended up having some issues with the handy-dandy contraction website (Pete clicked "Enter" instead of the spacebar a couple of times) but ultimately around 11 am we had hit the mark, so we called our midwife practice and Rebecca and headed off to the hospital -- Swedish Ballard.
By the way, contractions hurt a lot.
The drive to Ballard was not fun. At one point on the Aurora Bridge, Pete was behind a really slow minivan going about 5 miles an hour and I tried to be calm about it but eventually I suggested that he go around so we could get to the hospital faster. And he kindly did.
At the hospital we were greeted by a nurse who didn't seem to know we were coming, yet pretended to know, but then called us by the wrong names. This was upsetting, but luckily we never saw that nurse again. All of the nurses the rest of the time were amazing!
Rebecca met us at the hospital. Kathleen, the midwife on call, checked me and I was dialated to 4 cm. Everyone was really impressed with this - "I can't believe this is your first baby - you're so far, so fast!" Pete and I were excited by this. I got into the Jacuzzi and it really helped me feel better and work through the contractions.
Pete and Rebecca were an amazing team.
As time went on, as tends to happen with labor, they got closer together, more intense and more painful. I think it was about 6 pm when I hit my wall - I wanted to get back in the Jacuzzi because that had helped so much a couple hours before. When it didn't help even one bit, I knew that I wanted some sort of pain medication.
Kathleen checked me again and I had only progressed to 5 cm. After over 6 hours, barely any progression. It was very discouraging. After all that time, we thought for sure I'd be close, or at least closer, to the 10 cm we were aiming for. If we'd been close we would have asked for a milder pain medication, but after so much work and no progress, I asked for an epidural.
My pain medication plan had been: I wanted to try labor without an epidural, for a couple reasons, but I wasn't opposed to it either. So I wasn't disappointed when I decided to go for it. And I felt that I'd suffered for a while and gave it my best shot. We'd spent a lot of time walking, rocking, different coping strategies and I was unable to either a) get in the zone b) stay distracted.
During our time in the birthing suite, we had my MP3 player hooked up to the stereo and set it to play my "airplane mix" which is a ton of mellow songs to help me snooze on a plane. I think probably a lot of the songs drove Pete crazy, as they include lite hits from folks such as Air Supply. But his favorite moments were when "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" by Meatloaf came on, and his #1 moment - when Johnny Cash's cover of "Hurt" came on right when the anesthetist was putting the epidural needle into my spine. She told me to curl my back "like cooked shrimp". After she left the nurse told us that Emily is everyone's favorite anesthetist, and she was going to retire soon so they were going to throw her a party including a platter of cooked shrimp because that's her favorite line. Our nurse during the largest chunk of our labor was Linda. I really loved Linda. I hope she is doing well. It's funny how the nurses come in and out and shifts end and you just never see your nurse again, and it's kind of sad.
Anyway I was absolutely GIDDY after the epidural took effect. I was having a great time and suggested to Pete and Rebecca that we throw a party. But Kathleen said that we should all take a nap to prepare for later. She said she'd come back at 9. They had also started me on Pitocin, which I'd agreed to, to try to kickstart the baby's progression, as the baby hadn't started to move down into my pelvis yet, and my water hadn't broken yet either. Kathleen didn't want to break my water to encourage the baby to move down, because it was a possibility that if she broke my water, and the baby came whooshing down to my cervix, there was a risk of
cord prolapse, which is very dangerous and could become an emergency. So Pitocin is a drug that regulates, increases the frequency and intensity of contractions.
So Kathleen said she'd come back at 9 to check my progress and we'd go from there. Unfortunately while we were trying to nap, some CRAZY SOUNDS started happening outside. It sounded like a drunk person was playing a tuba on the street outside the hospital. We called the nurse, who called some other people in to try to figure it out. It would start and stop and no one could figure out what it was. Eventually someone figured out some hospital maintenance folks were doing some loud maintenance. They were asked to stop!
I don't think I slept during our assigned nap time because I was too keyed up. Pete and Rebecca slept some. When Kathleen came back to check on me, I'd made NO PROGRESS despite the Pitocin. Neither my cervix nor the baby had budged. We were super bummed. At this point Kathleen recommended a cesarean section. Her main concern was the combination of my water not having broken yet and the baby not moving down. If my water broke on its own, that could lead to cord prolapse too.
Kathleen didn't order us to have a c-section, but suggested it. So Pete and I discussed it, with some input from Rebecca, and decided to go for the c-section. We felt that as a midwife, Kathleen would not recommend a c-section unless she thought it was necessary. During our pregnancy, we read a lot of books and talked to other pregnant couples, and there is a feeling out there, with some statistics to back it up, that some OB/GYN's push for c-sections when they're not really needed, because then the labor moves along quicker and - some say - the c-section is more dramatic and interesting for the doctor. I don't have stats for you, this is just what I recall anecdotally from our labor prep studies. And that is partly why we chose a midwife as our practitioner instead of an OB/GYN.
I think that was about 10 pm. After that things moved very quickly. More drugs were administered to me. We asked that Rebecca be allowed to come into the operating room with us. We'd heard that doulas aren't always allowed in the OR. Luckily the staff for our surgery was fine with it. Pete and Rebecca went ahead because they had to get washed up and put scrubs on. I said goodbye to Linda and I felt really sad that she wasn't coming with us, because she'd been there with us for so many hours. She squeezed my hand and they wheeled me away.
The OR was on a different floor. The doctor on call came and met us in the hallway. She was the nicest doctor ever - Dr. Kurachi. Everyone else introduced themselves. The nurse asked me my name and had me confirm what kind of surgery I was going to have. Glad they double-checked that! We asked the staff if Pete could announce the sex of the baby, and they all agreed.
Pete and Rebecca stayed up by my head while the doctor performed the surgery. Rebecca had promised to narrate what the doctor was doing, but I started to feel queasy so I asked her to just tell me when the baby was out, which she graciously did.
When Dr. Kurachi saw the baby, she said that the baby's head was resting on my pelvic bone, and wouldn't have moved down anytime soon. She also said the baby was sticking out its tongue - probably mocking us all for trying to get it to come out before it was ready! Yes, I'm saying "it" because at that moment we still didn't know boy or girl. It was 11:55 PM on Dec. 1, 2008.
Most of you have probably heard this part of the story. The doctor held up the baby so Pete could announce the sex. "It's a...boy?" he said. All of the staff shook their heads, covered in masks of course, so he then said, "It's a girl!" He had been confused about the umbilical cord...
So that is how Margo was born. The nurse took her to be weighed and Pete stayed close by her. She was crying but stopped as soon as Pete spoke - she recognized his voice! Very soon after, while the doctor was still finishing my surgery, Pete brought Margo over to where I was. She was beautiful and sweet and we loved her right away.
Recovering from a c-section was not my favorite but it also wasn't as bad as some people have experienced, so I was relieved about that. It was hard to sleep because I had these automatic squeezers on my legs that would squeeze my legs every 5 minutes or something, for circulation I think, and I couldn't sleep through that. I slept well once those got taken off. In some ways, getting the hang of breastfeeding was harder (and, to tell the truth, sometimes more painful) than recovering from the surgery.
Pete had called my parents, and they were waiting for us when we got back to our room. The rest of the night we had a nurse named Cindy and she helped me get started breastfeeding Margo. We were really good at that while we were still in the hospital. It was after we got home that things got a bit dicey in that department, but we worked with a lactation consultant and eventually she and I both got the hang of it. As Meredith said to me during the tough times of breastfeeding, "Whoever says breastfeeding comes natural is on crack!" Funny, yes, but also a good motto that helped me - and Margo - through!
Anyhoo, we went home on Thursday around 5 or so. We were so happy to be home. Pete had gone to get Sally so she'd be home when Margo got there. He'd taken Margo's little kimono so Sally could get a good sniff of her new sibling. Sally was great with Margo from the beginning.
The end, for now. I'll have Pete take a look and see if he remembers any other details.
We love you Margo! We're so grateful you and all the joy you bring to our lives. You are so funny and sweet!
