Monday Night Brushstrokes: Thoughts on Leopards and Fat Turkeys

Here are some things that I want to remember about Family Home Evening last night.

It was Mr. E's turn to do the music. He loves to choose the songs and does a good job directing them. He is especially good at the wide armed cut-offs at the end. He forgot the name of the song that he wanted to sing so he stood up front of the room while we all rattled off the names of every possible song we could think of, with no success. He kept insisting that the song was in "the little songbook with all of the colored pages." Hymnbook? No. Primary songbook? No. It was one of those moments when as a parent you know you should put your foot down and say, "All right. Enough of this. Just pick a song so we can sing already" But you also know that saying this will ruin any chance of anyone feeling the spirit and you'll have a REALLY grumpy little person for the whole rest of the time. But he finally agreed to let his sister pick the song. And he still ended up grumpy for the whole rest of the time.

The lesson was taught by PC, twelve years old. It was on gratitude. His words are in quotations, my thoughts are in parenthesis.
"You have to get gratitude out of your mind." (ok, what??????)
"I mean gratitude can't just be in your head. You have to get it out of your head." (still not clear buddy, keep going...)
"I mean you have to get gratitude out of your head and into your mouth." (oh, I see where you are going with this but try again)
"It's like that guy in Stake Conference said. You can't just have gratitude in your head. You can't just think that you are grateful for something. It doesn't count if you just think it and keep it in your head. You have to say it. If you don't say it then you aren't really grateful at all." (Wow, you were paying attention in Stake Conference. Good job.)

This thought was followed by the story of the Ten Lepers. After we convinced Mr. E that this wasn't a story about leopards, PC told the story. Then he asked PK, fifteen years old, what the nine lepers did. His answer: "They took off and said, 'See ya, we're out of here!' " (ok, try again....) "I mean they didn't really say that but they were probably so excited about being healed that they only thought about themselves and left, you know, being so excited, and only thinking about themselves. (There we go. Good job.)

Closing song was by Mr. E. As I mentioned before. it's serious business when it's his turn to do the music. So we let him choose the song and then we go with it. This time is was no exception. We sang the traditional Thanksgiving hymn: "Five fat turkeys are we. We slept all night in a tree. When the cook came around, we couldn't be found. And that's why we're here you see." Look for it in the next edition of the hymn book. I'm sure it will be included. We sing it every year.

All of this was pretty typical for FHE at our house which is why it makes me laugh. It never goes as planned, there are always a few disagreements and usually a quarrel or two. Someone is always "reassigned" to a different place to sit. A lesson is always presented but not always heard, least of all thought about and understood by all. One of the adults usually raises their voice at least once and the following phrases can be heard every week: "Sit up." "Sit still." "Don't touch your brother." "Are you even singing?" "Put that toy away until we're done." "You are this close to loosing your treat."

Which is why I love this quote by Elder Bednar:
"Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as 'He’s touching me!' 'Make him stop looking at me!' 'Mom, he’s breathing my air!' Sincere prayers occasionally were interrupted with giggling and poking. And with active, rambunctious boys, family home evening lessons did not always produce high levels of edification. At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.

Today if you could ask our adult sons what they remember about family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening, I believe I know how they would answer. They likely would not identify a particular prayer or a specific instance of scripture study or an especially meaningful family home evening lesson as the defining moment in their spiritual development. What they would say they remember is that as a family we were consistent.

Sister Bednar and I thought helping our sons understand the content of a particular lesson or a specific scripture was the ultimate outcome. But such a result does not occur each time we study or pray or learn together. The consistency of our intent and work was perhaps the greatest lesson—a lesson we did not fully appreciate at the time.

In my office is a beautiful painting of a wheat field. The painting is a vast collection of individual brushstrokes—none of which in isolation is very interesting or impressive. In fact, if you stand close to the canvas, all you can see is a mass of seemingly unrelated and unattractive streaks of yellow and gold and brown paint. However, as you gradually move away from the canvas, all of the individual brushstrokes combine together and produce a magnificent landscape of a wheat field. Many ordinary, individual brushstrokes work together to create a captivating and beautiful painting.

Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results. “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33).

I am so grateful that he was inspired to give us that counsel. That it's ok if Mr. E thinks we learned about leopards. And it's ok that we sang about fat turkeys. Because I know that the leopards and the fat turkeys and even the constant pleas for sitting still are brushstrokes of yellow and gold and brown that will hopefully produce the masterpiece of my life.

(And if anyone has any idea of what "the little songbook with all of the colored pages" is, will you please let me know??)

Deja Vu

This is my view from my recliner. I really don't have much to say about this other than this is what is going on in my life and I need to document it. Most people who know me also know that I fell and broke my ankle 2 and a half years ago. I was still experiencing pain and swelling and after some further testing we found out that the broken bones did not heal together as they should have. The technical term is "non-union." I guess I am stubborn all the way down to my bones. The problem with non-union, other than pain and swelling, was that the borken bones were constantly moving and shifting, causing some other problems in the joint. So the next step was to go back in and do a bone graft in the space between the broken bones. Some joint work was also needed to tighten up the loose and damaged joint. Surgery was three weeks ago. According to the surgeon, it went well and I have every reason to expect a complete recovery and 100% use of my ankle in a year from now. I was very happy that we decided to do it because there was more damage inside than was originally predicted. So now another recovery begins. The first week was pretty dicey as I depended a lot on some heavy pain medications. Thankfully that part is over and I'm slowly adding some normal back into my days. It's always a wonder how you learn to appreciate little bits of normal. I won't be walking or driving for at least another month, maybe longer. I hesitate to wish time away but I hope the next month flies by.

We have been so blessed by the many, many kindnesses shown to us. It has been such a blessing to witness daily the kindess and goodness of family, friends, neighbors and ward members. I really do have so much to be thankful for!

Random Acts

Sometimes, even in the craziness of everyday life, little random acts of kindness manage to happen spontaneously. I didn't set this one up or even have to suggest it to either one of these two boys. I felt lucky enough to have a camera close by.


Thanks, guys.

Birth Order and Flossing

I've always been fascinated by birth order and the differences that usually result within a family. I remember writing a paper on it in college. I'm the oldest child in my family and I can say that my life growing up was not the same as my younger siblings. Which is ok, because as I've gotten older I've learned that differences are good. It would be terribly boring to live with carbon copies. I will say that there were some definite perks that came with being the oldest. I got to do everything first. Drive, date, graduate, get married and when I did those things it was a pretty big deal in the family. I got to stay up later than the younger kids, spend more time with friends, along with other privileges that came with the words, "Because she's older." But there were also the disadvantages trailing along with those perks. More responsibility, lots of babysitting, more chores, being told "You need to set an example" and "We expect more of you." And the ever-present request on every road trip, "Lisa, we're almost to the rest area. Help everyone find their shoes." The good and the bad. It's a package deal.

Now that my own little family is complete, I look at my own children and see those same patterns inevitably forming. My oldest feels that I ask way too much of him. I try not to, because I have that oldest child perspective, but sometimes it's just the way it is. And he usually holds the perks over the heads of the younger ones, as well. Then there's my youngest. According to all of his older siblings, he lives a charmed life. I admit, I do spoil him. He's the baby, and holding on to the last things that he does leads to a little bit of spoiling. I still rock him to sleep if he wants me too because there is no other younger child needing my attention. He gets away with more because he is just so dang cute. There are definite perks to being the baby. But then there's the disadvantages. Like when he was a baby and hardly ever got a good afternoon nap because he was in the car with me running the older kids around. I don't take him to the doctor as often or make sure he washes his hands as often or wears a jacket as often, just because my parenting style has definitely relaxed a little bit. He didn't get to nurse as long because I got busy and he spent a lot more time with babysitters because I was working. Looking back on his six years, I've sometimes felt guilty that I was not the doting mother with my last child that I was with my first child. But my life is not the same as it was and I'm definitely busier than I was. My husband asked me a little while ago if the kids had been flossing their teeth. It was an innocent question, not meant to be accusatory at all. But it was a stressful day and I nearly came unglued. I wanted to say, (but thankfully didn't), "Flossing? I've made sure they are fed, rested, bathed, dressed, brushed, washed, wiped, and hopefully taught and loved. When am I supposed to get to flossing?????" Life definitely gets fuller as time goes on and life for the first child is definitely different that life for the last. And that's ok. Good and bad. It's a package deal.

But what goes around comes around. Today I took the last child to the dentist. Turns out he has 8 cavities. Eight! I asked the dentist why he would have so many when my other children have all had really healthy teeth. His answer, "Lack of flossing."

Food for Thought

A friend sent these thoughts in an email. I got a good laugh and thought I would share. Enjoy these little pearls of wisdom!

Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

When Mom's away...

I was moving pictures from my camera to the computer when I came across this one. Apparentely the kids had used the camera to document some fun that they had while Trevor and I were out the other evening.

This is what I found:



Hmmmmmm. Interesting. Makes me wonder what else was going on. Oh well, nobody called to report any serious injuries and at least Mr. E is smiling so I think I won't look into it any further. Some things you just don't want to know.

Six

Happy birthday today to Mr. E!

Here are six things that I love about you:

1. Your enthusiasm is so catchy

2. You are a really fast runner

3. You like to snuggle up next to me at church

4. You know how to tie your shoes

5. You still like me to read you a bedtime story

6. You'll always be my baby. (Sorry, buddy!)

Can you feel the love?

Brother #2 is getting ready to go on a scout campout. He gathers everything up to head out the door. He hugs Mom, who says "I love you and be careful" and he says "I love you" back. He hugs Sister #1 who says "Love you." He hugs Brother #3 who says "Love you." He walks past Brother #1 and says "See you." Brother #1 replies, "Later." (No hugging for these two.) So Mom says to Brother #1, "Is that all you're going to say to him?" Brother #1 thinks about it for a second and calls out to Brother #2,

"Don't die!"

Ok, not exactly what the Mom was thinking, but at least it's something. And maybe it's implied in there that "I don't want you to die on your campout because I love you." Yeah, we're going to go with that. Ahhh, brotherly love!

Rough day?

We're slowly getting into the swing of things around here. One week of school down and many more to go! The newness has definitely worn off and everyone is tired. While getting ready for school today, Mr. E said that he just wanted to lay down all day and watch movies. And with 2 kids taking an A-hour class, our morning routine has started a lot earlier this year.

I think this picture of PK taken after school one day this week pretty much sums things up:



(Notice that his phone and the remote are still within immediate reach. I think if there was a way to have these surgically attached to his body, he'd be the first to sign up!)

Giddy

Maybe this is why I decided to become a teacher. Because this stuff makes me a little giddy with excitement and anticipaton:





I wish the pictures were scratch and sniff because there's nothing quite like the smell of a brand new box of crayons. Doesn't it make you want to sit down for a little coloring time?

Ready

Twas the night before the first day and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Ahhhhhhhh........

Fifteen

Happy Birthday PK!

Here are fifteen things that I love about you:

1. You are really funny.
2. You are dependable.
3. You have great taste in music.
4. Your younger cousins say that you are "really into fashion."
5. You've decided that it's ok to have curly hair because the girls like it.
6. You do an incredible Brian Regan impression.
7. You have lots of friends.
8. You're always home on time.
9. You keep your room mostly clean most of the time.
10. You are almost done earning your Eagle Scout award!!!
11. You are the only one who will drink egg nog with me at Christmastime.
12. You are a hard worker.
13. These days, you know more about the computer than I do.
14. You remind me that it's important to have fun.
15. You are very patient with me as I am trying to figure out how to be a parent.

Shopping Day

I went on two different rounds of back-to-school shopping today. Two kids in the morning and the other two kids in the afternoon. We covered the basics: shoes, haircut, new shirts for the first day, lunch box for a couple of them, water bottle for one, socks, underwear, and school supplies. Mission accomplished. And it wasn't horrible. I think the key was dividing it up and not taking everyone at once. It made for less meltdowns, theirs and mine. And here's a few insights that I came away with:

To PK: I'm glad that we found the perfect pair of board shorts. And don't worry, I'll stop calling them swim suits. And thanks for chatting with me. Now I know that you think that "precooked bacon is pretty much the greatest invention ever." I like it, too.

To PC: Yes, it was raining crazy hard when we were inside Target. And you're right, if something happened because of the storm and we were stuck inside Target we could survive for at least a year. But you're also right, Costco would be another good place to be stuck in.

To Miss A: Thanks for pointing out that Target would be a better place to be stuck in because there is bedroom stuff and blankets and if the air conditioning went off we would need lots of blankets. Ok, so maybe not in the summer, but we would have lots of pretty bedroom stuff to lay on, and, you're right, we could try on clothes all day long.

To Mr. E: Thanks for wanting to go up the escalator because even though we didn't need anything on the second floor, I felt like a really good mom when I said, Ok, lets just ride the escalator up and then back down. But then I felt like a crummy mom when I realized you didn't know that it was called an escalator and you're almost six years old. So let's plan some more trips there to take another ride, ok? And did you know it was a little sad for me when you wanted to try on a shirt and we were next to the men's fitting room and when I said that I couldn't go in there you said that it was ok, that I could just stand right at the entrance and you could go in and try on your shirt all by yourself? And then you did. And I was a little sad because your brothers and your sister all tried on clothes today and nobody wanted me to go into the fitting rooms with any of them. It's a funny thing to be a little sad about, but moms get a little sad about plenty of funny little things.

Thirteen

Today, thirteen is the luckiest number I can think of.
Yeah, I think you know why.

Dear Mom...

Dear Mom,
This another one of those "payback letters." You know, the ones that say thank you for the things that you put up with when I was young that I didn't ever think to say thank you for until I had little ones of my own and was going a little crazy. I've thanked you in the past for putting up with fussy babies, tantrum-throwing toddlers and fussy eaters. But this week I've come across something else that I need to thank you for.

I thought that my mornings of waking up sleep deprived were over when my babies started sleeping through the night. But then I became the mother of teenagers and I'm once again trying to disguise the dark circles under my eyes. So thank you mom, for waiting up for us until our curfew time. Because, heaven forbid, we come home earlier than absolutely possible. And thank you for letting us stay out on weekdays during the summer. Even though you and dad still had to get up early the next day because to you it was just a Wednesday night but to us it was like the weekend because we had no school or any real responsibilities the next day and could sleep in as long as we want. And thank you for putting up with the endless times that we said, "You could just go to sleep, Mom, and we'll just come home and go to bed." Ok, I've heard that at least a hundred times already and that's just ridiculous. Are they waiting for me to say, "Sure, you bet, I'll just go to sleep and be mostly unconscious while you are out playing in the street and you just come in whenever you want and lock up and go to bed." Yeah, I don't think so.

So there it is, Mom, another payback for you. Sorry it took so long.

A Good Day

Today was a good day. Here is my list of what was accomplished.

Bathrooms cleaned......check.
Bathtub cleaned........check.
Sheets washed and put back on beds....check.
Refrigerator cleaned out......check.
Hallway swept and mopped.......check.
Sliding glass door cleaned.....check.
Bathroom floors swept and mopped....check.
Garbage cans emptied.......check.
Stair railings dusted.....check.
Family room dusted........check.
All carpets vacuumed......check.
Laundry sorted for tomorrow....check.

Kids taught the meaning of work.....check.
Kids taught that if you do a job half way you'll have to do it all over again.....check.
Kids complaining that they are slaves and would almost rather be back in school....check.
Mom very, very happy......CHECK!

Today's Terrific Tip

This may be old news to some but I came across a great website to help with my scripture study. You can create a reading schedule and receive daily emails with your reading assignment. You can choose which standard work you would like to read and also choose a rate of study. For example, I'm trying to read the Book of Mormon in 60 days so it sends me my assignment based on that goal. You can also set up a schedule to keep up with the gospel doctrine reading assignments or seminary reading assignments. Each email also comes with the reading selection available to read on the screen, with or without audio. I've loved having the daily reminders come on my email. Here's a link to the website. Check it out! Happy reading!

http://www.readthescriptures.com/

Thanks for the ride, Woody and Buzz!

We saw Toy Story 3 this week. It was so good! I was curious to see how they would wrap the story up and I thought they did a great job. I was surpised to find myself really emotional at the end of the movie. I'm not giving anything away by saying that in the movie Andy is on is way to college and we learn the fate of his toys. As I was watching the movie I thought about how much Toy Story has been a part of our family. The first Toy Story movie came out the year that PK was born. So when our first two boys were little, the Toy Story movies and characters were a big part of our lives. Every birthday and Christmas for the next several years brought a toy from Toy Story that was wished for and dearly loved. I guess that is why it was an emotional thing to say goodbye to these characters. Because my little boys that loved Woody and Buzz are not so little anymore. And while they're not headed off to college just yet, I know the day is coming all too quickly.

So thanks, Woody and Buzz. It's been a great ride. To infinity and beyond!

Monday Memories

Seventeen years. What a lucky person I am to have spent the last seventeen years crazy in love with the man of my dreams. The longer that we've been married the more I am grateful that we are still crazy for each other. Here are the lyrics to my new favorite love song. It's written by Kenneth Cope. I love it because it portrays a love that has endured through time. Young love is exciting and romantic. But love that has stood through life's experiences is lasting and deep. I love the phrase, "There's a soul that loves my soul." I look at our wedding pictures and see that exciting young love. But I look at us today and see that soul that loves my soul.


There's a heart that know my heart
One that sees the hidden truth
And believes when most cannot
It's you, it's you, it's you.

There's a smile that cheers and charms
There's a touch that gets me through
There's a voice that lights the dark
And it's you, it's you, it's you.

Tenderly, so carefully
You help me to my feet
Faithfully you're there for me
Inspiring, reminding...

There's a soul that loves my soul
And all the years are more than proof
There is one who won't let go
And it's you, it's you, it's you.
Unchanged each day it's you.

By the way, it's a great CD. You can listen to it here: http://www.danielbeckmusic.com/music.htm

Thoughtful Thursday

Have you ever noticed the little thoughts that are printed inside the labels of Dove chocolates? I opened one today and this is what it said: "A bubble bath can matter more than a clean kitchen.--Susan, Mechanicsville, VA."

Hmmm....thanks for the thought Susan. Here's a couple thoughts from Lisa, Gilbert, AZ: "A clean kitchen can make me feel better about practically anything." or "Who wants to get out of the bathtub to a dirty kitchen?" Sorry, Susan from Mechanicsville, but this week I'm opting for the clean kitchen.

Wednesday-- What's Up?

We took the kids to Disneyland in February. It is a great time of year to go. We took them out of school and were there Thursday through Saturday. This was our magical year because PK is just about too old and Mr. E was just old enough to really enjoy it. We were able to travel with cousins which made the trip extra fun. This was our first time staying at a hotel right across the street from the gate and I wouldn't do it any other way. Aside from the rain, the trip was pretty much close to perfect. Mr. E was tall enough to go on most of the rides and it was so fun to ride with the whole family. Although, we did learn that just because the child is tall enough to go on the ride does not mean that he won't be totally scared to death of it. Yeah, poor kid, the first thing that we did on the first morning there was Space Mountain. He sat next to me and after clawing my arm off and screaming the whole time he said that he hated Disneyland and wanted to go home. Sorry buddy!

Here are some picture from the Happiest Place on Earth. It really did live up to it's name!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Tuesday's Terrific Tip

When you walk into a room, do one thing to make it better because you were there. This can be something quick and easy such as picking up one thing or putting one thing away or straigtening one thing, etc. You can even do this when you're walking through a room to get somewhere else. In just a few seconds, you've made an improvement in that room and you can go on with what you were doing. Every little bit counts!

Monday Memories

One of the reasons that I teach preschool is that I love 4 and 5 year-olds. It is easily my favorite age. As I was talking with a couple of boys in my class this morning, it struck my how much I miss the days when my oldest boy was 5. Over the years I have noticed how life changes and how I find myself reminiscing a lot about when my children were younger. But today was different. I really, really missed this five-year-old. I missed him in a way that you would miss someone who is no longer around, not someone who has grown and changed and you miss the person that they used to be.

Today I felt as if this big boy:
and this little boy:

are two totally different people and I have an empty space in my heart where the younger one used to be. I love the big boy more than ever. He is funny and kind and dependable and good. But here is what I miss about the little boy.

I miss choosing his clothes for him in the morning. I miss buying clothes for him and knowing that he will wear anything I give him.

I miss the days when he would rather be home with me than anywhere else. I miss the days when I was the one person that he would rather play with than anyone else.

I miss holding his hand in the parking lot.

I miss him coming home from school, excited to tell me about all of the new things that he learned that day telling me how much he missed me while he was gone.

I miss the days when he got hurt and would come running to me for help.

I miss the days when the only person he would write a note to was me.

I miss the days when my opinion was the only one that mattered.

So now that I've put these thought down, it seems that what I miss is the fact that his world used to revolve around me and now it doesn't. Sounds a little selfish of me. I'm so glad that he's growing up and life really is about letting go, which I'm doing ok with. Maybe I'm a little sentimental because today he's spending the afternoon working on a gas-powered go-cart that he bought. His friends are coming over to help him and they're using spark plugs and gasoline. When really, I wish I could spend another afternoon like this:

Wednesday-- What's Up?

I loved that Easter fell on General Conference weekend. It made for a very relaxing Sunday. My family did a good job paying attention to a good part of each session of conference. We had fun with our traditional conference meals and treats. But by the middle of the Sunday afternoon session, things were on a downward spiral and this is how it ended up:

Good times.....good times.

Tuesday's Terrific Tip

I recently went through all of the cords in the house. The ipod USB cords and the three digital cameras' USB cords and the video camera cords, etc, etc, etc. We had to do some detective work to remember which cord went to which device. You think you will never forget what goes to what but you inevitably do. I put a piece of masking tape around each cord to label it like this:


Then I figured out that they are much easier to store if they are kept individually in little ziplock bags. It keeps them from getting tangled up.


And please don't think that I have nothing else to do but organize cords! It became necessary when I couldn't put my camera's memory card in my new computer and had to use the USB cord, which I couldn't find. Although, I do love the challenge of a good organizing project!