Brewer Phillip

I'm so excited to have a few minutes to share how Brewer made his exciting entrance into our lives and how he's kept us on our toes ever since. 

Saturday, Teton Valley and the rest of Eastern Idaho had a bad blizzard. Every road out of the valley was closed. I told Phil that Brewer better not come. Later that night, at 9:45,  my water broke while I was in bed. I was not expecting my water to break, and as I rushed to the bathroom I started second guessing myself. I would say that Phil went into panic mode, and I was in some state of shock. Boyd on the other hand was thrilled. He was in bed (not sleeping yet) and Phil went in and got him. Phil said to Boyd, "We gotta go, baby Brewer's coming!"He jumped out of bed and was so thrilled that he got come with us. There was a sense of chaos and scrambling as we loaded up the car. Even as we were leaving I wasn't positive that my water had truly broken. We made a couple of phone calls and decided that maybe we would stop by the Driggs hospital to do a quick litmus test. They told us it was going to take an hour so we got up and left. While we were getting gas I was able to chat with my OBGYN on the phone and she told us to come straight to the hospital. Thankfully, even though it was still snowing and extremely windy, one road opened up and we able to make the hour and half drive to Idaho Falls. During the drive I started to believe a little more that my water had actually broken and even had a few very minor contractions. As we were pulling up to the emergency room entrance at EIRMC I knew for certain that my water broke. We made it just in time to save the car too because I lost a good portion of my water as I stepped into the parking lot. Awesome. We checked in and they took us to our room and ran some tests to make sure that my water broke. Although the nurse couldn't officially say that my water had broken until after the tests came back, she said she was very certain it had. 

I badly wanted to get out of these clothes, but thought I should snag one last picture. Thank goodness my pants were black.

(Oh yeah, Boyd got a haircut)

Phil's Grandma and Grandpa Monson came and picked up Boyd shortly after we arrived, and Phil and I tried to settle in for the night. I was comfortable, not really having too many contractions that I could feel, but I still couldn't sleep. I was too anxious. Phil slept a few hours but he couldn't sleep well either, especially on the awesome hospital bed/couch. By 6:30 nothing had changed and I hadn't progressed so they started me on Pitocin. It seemed to move things along very quickly. By 8:30 I was feeling like I was about ready for my epidural. The nurse informed me that the anesthesiologist had just gone into the room next door and would be over right after, in about 15 minutes. About an hour later he still hadn't come over and I was starting to get a little freaked out. Phil was awesome! He helped me through the contractions and there may be quite a large bruise on his leg from me--sorry Phil. My nurse gave me a shot of morphine and that helped just enough to last me until I could get the epidural. The epidural went great and I felt immediate relief. About 45 minutes after I got the epidural I was completely dilated. 

I did a couple of test pushes with the nurse while we waited for Dr. Huggins to arrive. She said he was going to come easily and that I was a good pusher. She was checking him the whole time we waited for the doctor to see how he was progressing during contractions, but the thought crossed my mind that she was holding him in (maybe that was the morphine talking). Once Doctor Huggins arrived we quickly got to pushing. After the first push I could feel we weren't too far away. She let me rest for a few minutes between pushes and then it only took one more (long) push and he was there. It was amazing and a lot more low key than when Boyd was born. I was able to hold him right away while they wiped him down and after a few minutes Phil cut the umbilical cord. 

I remember thinking how great everything had gone and how wonderful I felt. The care and attention from the staff was incredible. The labor and delivery experience was so enjoyable. I wish that I could go back and do it over again. I wish that I could have those moments with Brewer back, the first time I saw him, the first time I got to hold him, the first time Phil got to hold him. I would do it over a thousand times. I am so grateful that everything went so smoothly and that it was such a sweet experience--I feel like that was one of the many tender mercies we've experienced so far.

Brewer Phillip Moulton

Sunday, February 26, 2012

11:16 a.m.
6 pounds 11 ounces

19 inches 

Fairly quickly the nurse noticed that Brewer was grunting and while she wasn't too concerned she called a nurse, Heidi, from the NICU. She came over quickly and immediately started looking him over. She laid him on his back thinking that he just had fluid in his lungs. It wasn't very long before she decided that she wanted to take him to the regular nursery just to monitor him. After being there for a couple of hours Heidi decided that there were some tests that she wanted to run, just to be on the safe side and took him to the NICU. 

After running some tests they informed us that Brewer had a heart murmur that was a result of a leak in his aortic valve. They thought that they could just monitor him there in Idaho Falls, but after consulting more with Dr. Jenkins (a neonatologist), who spoke with another neonatologist in Boise, they deiced that it would be better to send him down to Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City, "just to be on the safe side" if he needed any kind of surgery.  It was a total whirlwind. But again, the staff was incredible. Dr. Jenkins kept us well informed and spent time discussing the condition with us.  Heidi was just as concerned about Phil and I as she was about Brewer.

Much of Phil's family came immediately over to the hospital to give Brewer a blessing before he was life flighted with Phil to SLC. Grandpa Monson, Jill, Chris, Ken, Steve, Geri, & Steffani all came to show their love and support. We were all able to gather around Brewer in the NICU and Phil and Grandpa Monson gave him a Priesthood blessing. It was sweet and offered so much comfort. While they were finishing up preparing Brewer for transport, we call gathered back in my recovery room where Phil and I also received Priesthood blessings. It was scary for Phil and me. We were going to be apart for a short time. I was recovering from having had a baby just a few hours earlier and the idea of being alone was a little intimidating. But he was going with Brewer. No one knew what was going to happen and everything was still so unclear. He was going to be the one to face any problems. Thankfully, we have a great family and support. Phil's Dad was waiting for him at PCMC and Jill stayed the night in the hospital with me. Brewer and Phil made it safe and sound to PCMC around midnight.  he was still stable, and everything looked great.

The next morning the team of doctors looked at Brewer's case. They did an echogram and we found out that they were debating between two different procedures to help his heart. The first (the one we were hoping for) involved inserting a catheter through his umbilical cord and using the balloon to enlarge his aortic valve. The reason that they weren't sure if they could do this procedure was because the left side of the heart was borderline too small. If it turned out that the left side was in fact too small, he would have to have open heart surgery. That was extremely hard news to take in, especially over the phone. It's a moment in my life that I will never forget. But at that point, we were still hopeful that we would be able to do the first procedure. The doctors told us that they were going to do another echogram and discuss the case again and make a final decision later that day. 

Some of our AMAZING friends in the valley helped us get our car down to Idaho Falls. We asked them to go into our house, dig through all our drawers, pack some bags, and drive our car all the way down to Idaho Falls so Jill and I could drive down to SLC as soon as possible. Thank you Tiffany and Carlo for dropping everything to help us. I think I was so emotionally and mentally shocked that I moved so slow that morning. I did manage a shower and when Tiffany and Carlo arrived we were just ready to leave--it was perfect timing. Jill and I picked up Boyd from G&G Monson's and we headed to Salt Lake. I expected to hear from Phil. He texted me a few times but wouldn't answer my calls. I kept convincing myself that he just wasn't getting any reception in Brewer's room, but deep down I think I knew we would be hearing bad news. It was so good to see Brewer again. We arrived at PCMC around 3:30 and Steve took Boyd back to Provo for the evening. He looked really good. Healthy. Good color. And very comfortable. That was a change since he was in the NICU in Idaho Falls. After seeing him for a few minutes, Phil broke the news to us. I'm not really sure how to describe that moment. Surreal maybe. But very real at the same time. And heartbreaking. It's not something that you can process very easily. It's so painful to be looking at your sweet baby who is a day old and hear someone tell you that he's going to be having an extremely high risk surgery on such an important organ. After the initial shock wore off and as we were able to spend time with our baby boy I was able to feel a calm. The tears still came and went (and they still do) but this open heart surgery is our only option. It's his only chance. It's our only chance to be with him in this life. 

The rest of that day is a blur. It was emotional and exhausting, but so good to be with Brewer. We have been extremely impressed with every single staff member we have worked with here at PCMC. It's been a joy to interact with Brewer's nurses. They are capable and care so much for Brewer and so much for Phil and me. They have this way about them. They are wonderful.

Tuesday was a great day. We were able to spend the morning with Boyd in Provo. My Mom came over and saw him and brought him a gift. He was excited about that. I was able to shower and then Phil, my Mom and I headed up to PCMC. The feelings we had at the hospital that day were wonderful. There weren't too many tears, and I felt joy. I got to sit by Brewer and hold his hand. At one point I was even able to hold Brewer. It was such a tender moment for me to finally be able to hold my little boy. After I had been holding him for a bit he decided he wanted to wake up a bit and open his eyes. Phil was able to hold him today and he did the same thing. After he had been holding him for fifteen minutes or so, he opened his eyes and looked at his Daddy. I think he recognizes us. I think it's his way of saying hi and telling us that he loves us. His way of telling us that he's strong and he's going to keep fighting. It's been another tender mercy. Maybe the best one. 

We felt uplifted, encouraged, and hopeful on Tuesday. All along the way we have put our faith in Christ and that makes it easier, but the situation is still hard, emotional, and stressful. However, on Tuesday we didn't feel any of that stress. We felt peace. The peace that comes from the Comforter and our Savior. The peace that comes from the all the prayers that everyone has said in our behalf and in Brewer's behalf. That peace and calm that we felt on Tuesday gave us hope. Hope that not every day will be extremely hard and emotional. Hope that we'll find the joy in this process. 

Tuesday evening our family (Phil, his parents, my mom, Amy, Steve, Rachel and I) gathered at a restaurant in SLC to begin our family fast. It was sweet to be all together. After dinner we all headed back to the hospital were we received special permission to all gather in Brewer's room. By this time of the day I was exhausted and feeling more emotional just from being tired (and maybe also from being in day three of recovery). We gathered around Brewer in his room and Phil gave Brewer his baby blessing. It was a neat experience. My Mom, Amy, and Rachel all took some notes of the blessing, and I'll be excited to go through them and write it all down. 

Excited to hold Brewer

Saying Hi to Mom

Just before his blessing

Wednesday Morning before surgery. 

 Saying Hi to Dad

Just before surgery

In case you hadn't read the letter that Phil wrote, here it is. It contains more details of Brewer's condition.

Dear Family,

            For those who don't know, Brewer was born at 11:16 am Sunday.  We are thrilled he is here.  Not long after he arrived, we started noticing that he was having a difficult time breathing and seemed to be working hard for each breath.  To make a long story short, Brewer and I were life flighted to Primary Childrens late last night.  My mom stayed in Idaho Falls with Jerai and they were able to come down this afternoon.  

            It's been a tough day for us here at Primary Childrens Medical Center.  Brewer has been diagnosed with a rare condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS).  4 of 10000 newborns are diagnosed with this.  It's a lot to explain, but basically the left side of his heart is dangerously underdeveloped.  The left side of the heart is what pumps blood to the body, and the left ventricle isn't strong enough to pump blood to the body.  The only way this is treated is by turning the heart from a 2 ventricle heart to a single ventricle system.  This requires 3 different open heart surgeries.  The first surgery is the most high risk (roughly 75% odds survival of surgery and recovery) and will take place Wednesday.  It is a lengthy recovery but if Brewer can make it out of this first surgery, the success rate for future surgeries would greatly improve.  At some point during his life however, the heart will begin to fail at which point he would need a heart transplant.  That could be anywhere from 15-30 years.  Brewer also has some kidney/bladder problems that the docs are monitoring and may require surgery at some point, but right now they are taking a back seat to his heart condition.  

            With this turn of events, we will be temporarily moving Jerai and Boyd back to Utah until Brewer is healthy enough to come home.  I will be up in Driggs working Monday-Thursday, and will close the shop early in order to spend Thursday night-Sunday night in Utah.

           

            While this has come as a big shock to us, there have been several instances along the way where the Lords hand has been evident.  We are so grateful for this.  While we would have never chosen this trial ourselves, we are learning to trust in and rely on the our Savior Jesus Christ.  We have felt his love.  What an enormous comfort it has been for us to know of the Plan of Salvation and the promise of eternal families.The outpouring of love and support we have received from family and friends has been tremendous.  We deeply thank all of you for your everything.  We have felt your prayers on our families behalf and can feel your love.  We are optimistic that Brewer can get through this.  He has a strong body and has been a fighter.  All of his vitals have been good and his levels (heart rate, blood pressure, etc) have been excellent considering his condition. Now we are going to fight for him.  We are very grateful to be at a world renowned childrens hospital that even has a cardiac ICU unit.  We are very confidant in the care Brewer is receiving.  Again, We love you all and thank you for your love and prayers.

Love,

Phil, Jerai, Boyd & Brewer

Sun Valley 2012 Videos

Boyd Skiing

Sledding & Ice Skating

Swimming

Sun Valley 2012

 We had another fabulous year at Sun Valley with Phil's family. Everyone was able to come and stay for the whole trip, except for Nate, who is in the MTC. Boyd was super excited to go to Sun Valley this year. He understood all the fun things we would be doing and was looking forward to seeing all his aunts, uncles, Grandma, Pop Pop, and cousin Emmett. The week leading up to Sun Valley Boyd would recite off all of our future adventures: bowling, swimming, ice skating, skiing, hockey, and sledding. We were most excited for Boyd to try skiing, but he was looking forward to bowling more than anything else.

We were able to take off pretty early on Thursday and stopped in Rexburg for lunch and a couple of errands. Boyd is so easy in the car so Phil and I were able to listen to (for the second time) The Hunger Games on the way in preparation for the movie. After we checked in we decided to walk around and show Boyd all the fun things we would be doing. We headed over to the lodge and fed the ducks for a few minutes. Boyd asked if he could go swimming with them.... Thankfully the ducks are so tame and slightly aggressive that Boyd was a little intimidated so we didn't have to worry about him jumping in the pond. Then we walked through the lodge and saw the swimming pool and bowline alley. It was a little hard for Boyd to understand that we couldn't do everything right then. We walked by the ice skating rink and into the hockey rink/arena?. When we got there the zamboni was cruising around and Boyd had a good time waving back and forth with the guy driving it. We still had about an hour to kill before the rest of the family would be arriving so we decided to head back to the pool. We had a great time. Boyd loves swimming and he doesn't get to do it very often. After swimming we helped everyone unpack, ate pizza, hung out and caught up.

The next day was relaxing. Almost everyone went skiing and the rest of us worked on a puzzle. Phil came back around 1 to pick Boyd and I up and we headed up to Dollar Mountain for Boyd's ski lesson. He was so excited and such a brave little guy. His instructors name was Craig and he was great. At the beginning of the lesson Craig was skeptical that Boyd would last through the entire hour, but ended up keeping him an extra half hour. And even then he was surprised that Boyd didn't want to quit. He said that Boyd did really well for his age and it was so cute watching Boyd interact with him. It was easy to tell that they were both having fun together. At the end of the lesson, Phil went up with Craig and Boyd so Craig could show Phil what they had learned and give him some pointers for the future. I was so glad that Phil was able to go and get some video going down the big hill. 

 Putting his skis on.

 Heading up the bunny hill.

 Getting on the big ski lift after only three runs down the bunny hill.

 Coming down the big hill!

Videos to come...

After everyone returned from skiing we headed over to the bowling alley. I was having some contractions so I opted not to bowl. It was too bad really because bowling was the one safe thing that I could have done. But I was just too uncomfortable and worried enough about the contractions that I was timing them on my phone. Once Phil realized what I was doing, he got a bit nervous too. =) But it turned out to be nothing and after about an hour and half they went away. 

The employee who was running the bowling alley that night was fabulous. Such a fun guy. He gave us a bowling pin as a memento since we come every year. He then gave us a sun valley sticker and some sharpies so we could all sign it. It magically turned into the Sun Valley Cup and the competition between two teams was on. Boyd was even on a team and his score actually counted. =)

The Sun Valley Cup

Amy shot some great couple pics!

Dad, Mom, & Emmett

Poor Emmett. It was so noisy for that little guy. It brought me back a few years ago when Boyd was about that age, he didn't like the bowling alley either.

Amy & Clark

Phil's bowling ball weighed 11 pounds. I'm hoping mine is much smaller.

Rachel & Steve

Grayson & Emilie

Beth & Quinton

Rachel, Steve, Jerai, Boyd, Phil, Mom, Dad, Quinton, Clark, Beth

Grayson, Emilie, Emmett, & Amy

The winners of the Sun Valley Cup

Phil, Boyd, Mom, Dad, Clark, Amy, & Emmett

Mom had the high score. We told her she had to take the cup and display it on her mantle. Some how I don't think that's going to happen. =)

Boyd had a great time bowling and also enjoyed the arcade games. I just made sure no one told him that they actually cost money.

Saturday night we all headed over to the hockey game. It was great that Boyd could stand so close and watch. Although he did test his boundaries over and over again. I think he was over-sugared and over-stimulated at this point. 

Sunday afternoon we kept tradition alive and headed over to our favorite sledding hill. The snow was pretty hard and it was cold and windy. I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did.

Beth and Boyd. Boyd's little antenna is the GoPro.

So stinking cute!

Phil and Boyd heading back up for another ride.

Each year we have a tradition to assemble a puzzle. The girls usually work on the puzzle for the most part while the boys chat and watch sports. In my opinion it's a pretty good trade off--but I'm also a big puzzle fan. Here's the puzzle that we completed and all the assemblers. In keeping with tradition, Dad stole a piece of the puzzle until the very end. He told us he wouldn't take one so we thought we had a missing piece for sure. With so many of us working on the puzzle we were able to finish the puzzle in record time.

Because we finished the puzzle so quickly, Mom and Dad bought another puzzle in town. I'm not sure who thrilled we were about another puzzle, but we were up for the challenge. The problem was, it was a REALLY hard puzzle. There were a couple of times where we debated throwing in the towel because we didn't think we would be able to finish in time. Rachel never lost hope and kept working on it. I would say she was the MVP, but also was Steve. He came in when we lost motivation and got everyone on board to finish it. I think everyone, at some point, contributed to this puzzle. This gang stayed up until midnight, Sunday night, in attempts to finish it. They did a great job! Sadly, one piece really was missing.

Monday morning everyone packed up and we headed over to the ice rink. Boyd was very excited and he looked so handsome in his gear. 

I'm pretty sure that after the first lap around the rink with Phil, Boyd was saying that he was done. Ice skating is hard for little kids, but he did a good job. He would take a break and rest on the bench and then take another lap with one of his aunts and uncles (Steve, Rachel, Amy, Pop Pop and Grandma all took a turn helping him around the rink). 

Taking a little break

I opted not to skate. I wasn't worried about falling, but the activity putting me into labor, which I really didn't want to happen in Sun Valley. So I got to hang out with Emmett Man. He was such a good boy and we had a great time! We watched everyone and took lots of pictures. I think a few people thought I was a little crazy. I think they thought Boyd and Emmett were mine (with the pregnant belly). And if that were true, I would be crazy. =) 

Our last Sun Valley tradition is taking family pictures outside the lodge in front of the sun.

It's fun to watch how our family has grown and changed over the last several years.

Boyd has been refusing to smile during to pictures lately. So he growls instead.

One last group shot

Quinton, Emmett, Clark, Steve, Amy, Rachel, Grayson, Emilie, Dad, Mom, Beth, Boyd, Phil, & Jerai

I'm already excited that I won't be 9 months pregnant (or pregnant at all) at Sun Valley....at least that will be the goal. 

Now if this baby boy would just decide he was ready to come. Tomorrow marks the (gestational) day that Boyd came. So maybe he'll come tomorrow? That would be great, but I'm losing hope that he'll come anytime real soon.