the place i belong

I just spent 25 minutes talking with the nicest missionary from the mission office in Nashville. I had questions about my bike, and he told me that I would be riding on some pavement... but to be prepared to bike on country roads. As ridiculous as it sounds, I started tearing up. "Country Roads" has been on repeat since. My dreams are already coming true.

Do what you WANT to do.

Work on a ranch, with horses.
Lifeguard.
Live in the South.
Get married in the temple.
Become a master of horses. Teach others how to ride.
Teach high school social studies classes. Help kids form their opinions of the world. Inspire them to do exactly what they want to do.
Have a photography business on the side.
Travel.
Live in DC and attend George Washington University for grad school.
Continue on in my love for conspiracy theories.
Have 3 boys and 2 girls.
Get involved politically. On a local neighborhood level, like my Papa.

black, white & grey

All of the promises we made are haunting me. All I want to do is regret and be angry. Sometimes I wish I could forget somehow. But it's hard to regret something that once made you happier than you had ever been.

NASHVILLE, TN.

I am going to my dream mission. Literally a dream come true. 

My call is better than anywhere else I could have imagined for myself. 

&&&&& to top it all off, I will be teaching the spanish population whom I love dearly.

Tennessee-- get ready for me. 

You're right where I'm supposed to be.

thanksgivin'

So. Because i'm not a kid anymore I don't have to switch off holidays between my parents every other year. Which means I see my mom and my dad on thanksgiving and christmas. My mamma and Richard have the tradition of going coming up to Sundance and staying at a family friends cabin every year. We stayed up here for two nights but then I also went and had dinner with Papa and Lora and her side of the family. It was really nice to see everyone. I got to pick apart the brains of all of the RM's in the room. While at the cabin though it was hard not to miss Michael. I'm so proud of him & cant wait to be out there serving a mission with him. 

So anyway, after having brunch with my mamma on Thanksgiving at the cabin I was driving through the canyon alone and thinking about how nice it would be to be doing all of this with someone. Not just someone, but him. My whole life it's been me going back and forth from my moms to my dads. And as I was driving through the canyon yesterday listening to Keith Urban I couldn't help but think how nice it'll be to finally be with him. That one person who will always be with you. Your best friend. Always there to have your back and keep you company. To look up the directions on the map while you drive. To hold your hand as you walk into a crowded room together. Now don't get me wrong-- I love that I am doing this all by myself right now. I love that I'm okay with being alone and doing it on my own. I love the phase of life I am in right now. I'm just really looking forward to being with that someone who is unlike anyone else. 

oh and a late HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you. 

i am thankful for my split family. my true friends. my family away from home, in rexburg. my dads house. my moms house. all of the crummy apartments i have lived in. the roommates i have had. my education. my freedoms. byu-idaho. this beautiful world we live in. my good health. books, music, blogs, infinity scarves, victoria's secret, travel, target, coconut oil, thai food, ice cream, kind strangers, hot showers, horses, dogs, birds, country music, pictures, cameras, ziplines, swimming, cabins, smelling like campfire, nertz, settlers of zarahelma, alone time, down comforters, rainy days, trains, new beginnings, fresh starts, and having something to look forward to. i am grateful for those few people in my life that i feel at home with, no matter where i am. i am grateful for love, for laughter, for tears, and for hugs. for big dreams and hardships. most of all, i am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the opportunity i have to live and serve him. 

some good advice i have received about preparing to serve a mission: listen to as much music as you can & make time to be alone. 

xoxooox

Zoobie Free

I love coming home on Thanksgiving break.
Provo is a ghost town.
Empty roads & stillness.
I love that I live here.

Called To Serve

Today is the day & I couldn't be more at ease. Waiting for my mission call and preparing to serve this mission has been full of opposition--but has mostly helped me to recognize the overwhelming amount of tender mercies in my daily life. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and the plan he has for all of his children. I cannot wait to share this plan with others. All I want to do is share the hope and happiness that the gospel provides. I know that families can be together forever. And that we can be made new through our brother and Savior, Jesus Christ. I have faith that what is meant to be, will find a way. 

Ah, God is great and mighty to save.

“God is hastening His work. And He needs more and more willing and worthy missionaries to spread the light and the truth and the hope and the salvation of the gospel of Jesus Christ to an often dark and fearful world.” 

—Elder Jeffrey R. Holland  

{October 2012 General Conference}

p.s. I'm secretly hoping for somewhere latin. I love the crap out of hispanic people. Like literally. I love them sooo much. I love them & the culture. I would also be 100% okay with Italy. Or Portugal. Or anywhere in Europe. But I really just need to humble myself and be okay with a visitors center in the midwest. And after today I can honestly say that I will be okay with that. Because today, I have felt so peaceful and just grateful. I know I am going where I am supposed to go. Also... I'm crying I'm so happy and excited.