Sigh ..... I'm not going to watch American Idol anymore. Seriously. Not because it blows most of the time. But because of David Archuleta (of course I'm shallow. Whadya expect? geez. And that boy is one sweet motherfucker). He's 17. I'm not. He keeps reminding me of that.
He keeps reminding of something I never had when I was 17. In fact something I don't even have now.
He reminds me of those occasionally sad Saturday nights spent watching WCW Monday Nitro (yes, on a fucking saturday) or reading a book. He reminds me that I never had true love when I was 17. He reminds me what I lost out on. He reminds me of the one regret I may carry with myself for the rest of my life. He reminds me of the time I was so scared, so petrified of who I was. He reminds me of a me that I rarely remember now-a-days. A me that is millions of miles away from who I am at this moment. Seeing him brings back those memories again.
I don't want to think about that time. Though I do have some happy memories, I always end up with a heavy heart when I think about that time. (could I be more sappy?)
Whenever someone tells me that how happy their teens was and that they'd like to go back to that time, I really want to kick all of their teeth out. Hmmmmm I wonder why?
So I ain't gonna be watching Idol again. If he wins, just don't tell me.
