Flint's Smoldering Labor and Home Water Birth Story

You know what they say about assuming? … Well, you shouldn’t because you just never really know.

Flint is my fourth baby to be born naturally. My first was born in the hospital (about 3 ½ hours of active labor) after my water broke at home. My second was induced at the hospital, but still natural. Nothing really progressed with pitocin during the first 1 -1 ½ hours, but after the doctor broke my water, she was born 1 ¾ hour later. My third came at home in a birthing pool after 4-5 steady hours of contractions and 30 minutes after my water broke.

So, we just assumed this little baby would also be a labor and delivery anywhere from 3-5ish hours. Boy, oh, boy were we wrong. This little man pushed through after 22 hours of labor. Let me tell you all about it.


Short version: Contractions started around 1am Wednesday August 22. After a period where contractions didn’t intensify, I drank an herbal tincture to help soften the cervix. That slightly worked, but not enough to break water. I had contractions all day--around 30 seconds, ranging from 2-5 minutes apart, occasionally slowing down to 10-20 minutes apart. Around 3pm I drank another herbal tincture. Finally at 8:45pm my cervix was ready and my water was broken. Baby Flint was born about 2 ½ hours later.

Sam’s version: Flint wanted to come as quickly as his siblings but his sack was just too damn hard to break through, so it took forever.

Long version: 
In the wee hours of the morning Wednesday August 22, I woke up to contractions. They felt like waves--like a wave of squeezing in my low-low abs. I sat through a few of them making sure they were really there and not just random cramping or baby movements. I looked at the clock: 1:27. I got up to use the bathroom, settled back in bed and tried to sleep. I would nearly fall asleep when another would start. They weren’t painful, but they were noticeable. A little after 2AM I started timing them. They stayed between 2-5 minutes apart. I timed for about an hour and then Sam woke up. I called our midwife at 3:20AM and she headed over. Sam filled up the birthing pool, and I started moving around trying to keep the contractions coming. When our midwife, Rebecca, arrived, she checked baby’s heart rate, my heart rate and blood pressure, etc. The contractions were still there, but not intensifying.

After a little while, Rebecca asked if I’d like my water broken. Yes--let’s speed this up and get the baby out before the children all wake up. She checked my cervix and dilation, but it wasn’t the right time. The cervix was still too thick, and it was turned up and back--not in baby-descending position. She gave me an herbal tincture of cotton root that supposedly helps soften the cervix. It causes some contractions, but not strong ones, and they will work alongside the contractions I was already having. She said within the half hour I should be feeling some.

She headed home to eat breakfast, etc., and said she’d be back by 7am. I got in the birth pool but kept falling asleep, so I headed to bed. I noticed the contractions pick up and stay more steady while lying down, which went against everything I’ve ever read (go on walks and move around to keep contractions steady...laying down can make them slow down). I dozed in and out of sleep. I heard Sam get the kids ready for school and take them. Rebecca came back and listened to heart beats. The baby’s head was definitely down and low--just waiting for the cervix to let him out. Sam drained the tub.

Rebecca packed up her stuff and headed home. I’d call her when things intensified. But they didn’t. I fell in and out of sleep, catching up some from what I missed all night. Then I’d try to eat (nothing sounded good), walk around, bounce on the birthing ball, do hip circles, sit in a squatting position, do pelvic tilt exercises. I noticed the contractions slow down when I moved around, but back in bed they were steady. I did have some blood spotting, so the cervix was thinning...just slowly. Rebecca called it “smoldering labor.”

After a slow, long day of expecting to have intense contractions at any moment, Rebecca came back to check on me around 3pm. Cervix had thinned, but still not ready for water to break. She gave me a different herbal tincture --cohosh-- and said once again it should pick up soon.

Winston came home from school and was devastated to see me walking around without a baby. He ran back outside and hollered at his friends who were on the sidewalk, “No baby yet! And she’s not even in the tub!” They all shouted out with audible, “No way! Are you serious! Arg!” I knew exactly how they felt.

Before dinner we called Sam’s mom to see if she could take the kids for the evening. Contractions had not picked up, but they didn’t stop. We weren’t sure when anything would happen and figured it’d be easiest to have them go now rather than arrange for it later. Sam and I were bored. I wasn’t in pain, but I was tired. I spent bouts of time moving around. I even pulled out the breast pump and used it for 30 minutes--something many swear by (even Rebecca was shocked that didn’t kick up the contractions). While watching a movie to pass some time I moved a lot and contractions stayed pretty consistently around 2 ½ minutes, but weren’t any longer than 30 seconds.

During this time there was also a great rain and thunderstorm. We hadn’t had rain in months! I hoped the pressure change was going to produce a baby and not a false labor.

Rebecca texted frequently for the status. She asked if my water was broken in other pregnancies and how long it took baby to be born after that. She came back around 8:45pm to see if the cervix was ready to let her break the water. And it was! It was in the right position and thinned, dilated to a 4. She struggled to break the water. She was able to grab one layer of the sack and break it and immediately felt baby’s head drop even lower. But the sack was tough and thick and it took more effort to grab and break it. She presumes the toughness of the water sack was the culprit of the long, smoldering labor all along.

Only a couple of contractions later I felt the contractions change. Longer? More intense? Both? I was content to lean over an exercise ball while staying close to my bathroom, but Sam and Rebecca encouraged me to get in the birth pool. I think I got in around 9:45PM. It felt so nice. I continued to breathe through contractions as I had been all day. A slow 4-count of breath in, and a matching count out. The break in between was nice and relaxing, especially in the pool. I tried not to watch the clock. I had been watching the clock all day and I didn’t want to be disappointed if this part of labor was slower than I hoped.

I breathed and relaxed and moved my body around in the tub. I noticed the contractions change from a rumbling in my low abdomen to a rush near my tailbone, surging into my low back, and wrapping around to the lower abs. The contractions started to take more from me. I had to force a more audible breath out. At some point I noticed the clock said 10:45PM.

Holding the handles while breathing through a contraction

When I started to feel the tightness in my tailbone, I would move my body so that I could hold on to the handles of the birth tub. I would also either plant my feet directly under me, my knees under me, or my feet would push against the opposite end of the tub. There was also a little seat in the tub that I could push my low back against to alleviate the growing intense pressure in my low back. Each of my labors have been intense in my low back. Sam has always been a huge help in applying counter pressure to my hips. Being able to push my feet/knees and pull on the handles really gave me a place to direct the energy surging through my lower body. Things had picked up and I knew the end was near.

During this pregnancy I thought a lot about my most recent delivery of Nico. It was so great, but the last 30 minutes were intense and looking back I wasn’t as mentally prepared for it as I thought I was or as I wanted to be. My first baby took me by surprise, of course, as there is much you don’t know until you experience it. My second, I felt more prepared and she came quickly. The third I thought I had down, and if you watch the video of the end, all seems well, but reflecting back on it I was a little nervous as I recalled the details of the pressure and intensity of the end. Yes, I had done it before, and also with that realization was the memory of the intensity. I hoped this time I would be able to utilize my breath more and create a more positive I-can-do-this attitude during this final transition and crowning. I knew it would hurt, I knew the pressure would be extremely uncomfortable, but I wanted to be able to focus on one contraction at a time with positivity.

During one of the first really intense contractions I noticed my exhales were no longer enough to work with. Rebecca also noticed and reminded me to make “mmmmmmm” sounds. She also placed a cool, wet towel on my shoulders, and poured warm water on my low back. I started to use the “mmmmm” sounds and quickly realized it was taking the place of using my lower abs and pelvic muscles to push. I didn’t need to push with my muscles--when I “mmmmm”-ed the body kind of took over and opened.

Soon my “mmmmm” turned into very primal groans and moans. I laughed a little in my mind, but with each one my body was able to push down and open. I could feel the baby making it’s final stretches. I told Sam and Rebecca the baby was coming. I stood up and squatted during a few contractions and when I felt him blasting near the last curve of the pelvis Rebecca told me he was almost there and to get back in the water (so he wouldn’t drop into the water from the air).

He's here! 

One contraction and moaning I felt him pass around that curve. The next I felt him push further away from it and thought he had crowned. I reached down and felt he wasn’t quite there, but I had opened and was ready for him. Next contraction his head came. I reached again thinking he was all out, but it was about half his head. Then came some slight burning and an urge to push. Next contraction I moaned his whole head out. I pushed against him slightly with my hand so I wouldn’t push him out and tear. He had lots of hair and I ran my fingers through it while I tried to hold him in as I waited for the next contraction (no easy task). It came, and he turned his shoulders slightly and flopped out. I reached into the water and picked him up. He cried a little until I snuggled him into my chest. It was 11:10PM, just under 2 ½ hours from when my water was broken.

He was out. I did it. I had focused on one contraction at a time. I was able to use that primal moaning to help me open up instead of having to force myself to push against all intuition that you shouldn’t push out a spiky-hard bowling ball. And I didn’t once say, “I can’t do this.” The handles on the tub combined with the moaning, the counter pressure on the hips, and the cold towel on my shoulders all gave some form of relief during those last few incredibly intense contractions. I was a sweaty, hot mess! I even begged Sam to turn the fan back on (he turned it off during my last few contractions so that the baby wouldn’t get cold once he was out).

Baby Flint soon started sucking and chewing on his fingers, so I nursed him. He latched on immediately! He was a pro! And he didn’t want to stop. The after-birth uterus cramping started immediately as he nursed (and yes, they get worse with each baby! Some of that cramping over the next few days was stronger than the contractions I had during labor!).

Thick thick water sack and placenta

We let the cord stop pulsing before Sam cut it. Sam held the baby while the placenta was delivered, and with that came the remains of the water sack. Rebecca was astounded at how thick it was. She showed me the details of it, and yes, it looked really thick. I wonder how long it would have taken to have that baby if we hadn’t broken the water?

After the placenta came, I got out of the tub and laid on the couch with a happy-to-nurse new little baby. He was wide-eyed and beautiful. I’m always amazed at how tiny a newborn is --yet at the same time, how in the world did that baby grow and come out of me!?

He weighed in at 7 lbs on the dot (my largest baby by 3 ounces), 20 inches long. All vitals were perfect. I also was doing great. Rebecca noticed 2 tiny paper-cut-like tears. My throat was a little sore from all that lovely primal growling I released, but otherwise I had the same feelings of relief, empowerment, and an adrenaline rush I had with my other babies. It felt so good to be done and to be holding my sweet little bundle.

As I reflect on this delivery, and my other deliveries, I’m amazed at the natural God-given abilities of our bodies. Not just the miracle of conception, but also in the details of labor and delivery. Some say birthing is like a marathon; I’ve heard others say pregnancy is the marathon and delivery is the finish line. Either way, I’ve never ran a marathon. But I do know that labor gets to a point of no return.

I remember kicking away and trying to flee from the feelings of needing to push during delivery of my first baby. I might have given up and stopped running if that were a marathon. But you can’t in labor. The body completely takes over, and in my four births I learned that you can either kick against it (it’ll happen anyway), or I can do my best to work with it. In a marathon I’ve heard the mind has to take over to push the body through. In my birthing experiences, I’ve had to let my mind release and let the body take over. I didn’t end up with a quiet, calm birth that I deep-down hoped for, meditated on, and read about, but I did conquer a slightly nervous spirit and I was able to provide a positive birthing atmosphere along side my helpers, Sam and Rebecca, for which I will always be grateful.



I just wish the labor hadn’t smoldered for so long...

And now we are a family of six!

Nico’s Home Birth Story

SHORT Version

I experienced random Braxton Hick’s contractions throughout February—some days more than others. Nothing regular, but still had me worry enough to rest a little more than I usually do during 35-37 weeks. When 38 weeks hit, Sam and I went hiking a few different times with the kiddos. I did Zumba full out, sat and bounced around on an exercise ball, and moved around as much as my hips would let me.

Tuesday evening March 1^st, baby teased me with 3 hours of random contractions. Thursday morning March 3^rd (39 weeks) he teased again with 3 hours of random contractions. Early Friday morning, I woke up at 1:47am with contractions. They were steady, 4-6 minutes apart, even as I laid down. Called the midwife at 3:03am. Dilated to 6cm when checked at 4am. Dilated to 7cm when checked at 4:30am. Got in the blow-up water birth tub around 5:45am. Water broke on its own around 6:40am. Baby born at 7:00am on the dot in the water. 6 lbs 13 oz, 20 ½ inches. Our other kids were asleep the whole time, and came downstairs within a few minutes after he was born. It was a great experience!

LONG Version

start at the very beginning

The beginning of this story actually begins about 7 years ago when I was pregnant with my first and was asked by a friend, “What’s your birth plan?” To which I responded, “Uh, birth plan?” I was then handed this pamphlet  that really opened my eyes and lead me to wanting to have a natural labor and delivery.

Around the same time, I had a few friends planning home births and/or birthing naturally at birthing centers. I read their birth stories cautiously and with wide-eyes. I remember the first few made me very squeamish knowing the baby inside of me would have to come out [gulp]. But the more I read, the more comfortable I became with the process, and the more it helped ease my concerns. However, I was perfectly content with my doctor and having a hospital birth; home births were fine, but not for me.

For details on my hospital natural labor and deliveries with my first two children, see here and here, plus my own two cents on natural birthing written years ago here.

We had good experiences at the hospitals and really felt a great connection with our family doctor. Unfortunately, Dr. Joseph B. Liddle passed away after a battle with cancer about 1 year after our 2^nd baby was born. I was definitely saddened; he was so young; he had been my doctor for 13 years (basically all of his time out of med school and training); he had delivered our two children; our family loved going to appointments with him; he was a great man. His passing meant I had to find a new doctor. I spent some time sifting through what our insurance covered and learned there are almost no family practitioners that deliver babies any more. Malpractice insurance rates are too high; it’s all left to specialists. When I learned this, I stalled in my search. I didn’t feel like sorting through the many OB-GYNs   there are in the Salt Lake area (and finding one supportive and encouraging of natural birthing); I’d figure it out later.

When I learned I was expecting baby #3, I decided to see what my insurance covered as far as midwives. As I searched online, there was one that popped up with a birth center. I read Rebecca Williams’, CNW, MSN, website which had all her stats and her training and sent her an email to see if she was accepting new patients. We met and both Sam and I felt like she would be a great fit for us. She has a beautiful birth center and we figured we’d utilize it. But, as pregnancy progressed, and knowing how quickly I deliver babies, the idea of a home birth became more appealing to both of us and we decided to do it.

We mostly kept it a secret because we knew there would be resistance from members of our family and some friends. When asked what hospital we were delivering at, we’d say, “Oh, our midwife has a birth center and doesn’t deliver in hospitals.” One of the worst things we as humans do is tell horror stories and “you-can’t-do-that-because-of-this” stories instead of sharing support and encouragement. We felt confident knowing our previous labor and deliveries, Rebecca’s track record, and that all signs of my pregnancy were normal, low-risk.

Early on a Sunday morning near the beginning of February (I was about 35 weeks along) I experienced my first constant contractions. I took it easy that day, and they didn’t stick around. This happened once a week or so for the majority of February. At my 36 ½ week checkup, I was dilated to 1 cm, but firm. Labor wasn’t going to happen soon. Once I hit 37 weeks, I stopped worrying picked up my pace with Zumba again, attending classes and working out at home. At 38 weeks, Sam and I took the kiddos on a few hikes. During the next week, I spent time doing yoga and Zumba, as usual, but also took Sapphire on longer walks along the Jordan River Parkway and to play at the parks. Sam even massaged pressure points in my legs, feet and hands that can help induce labor. Not to mention time alone together. In bed. You get the idea--we wanted our baby out.

On Tuesday evening March 1^st (38 ½ weeks), I had my first long stretch of contractions, lasting a little longer than 3 hours, but only when I was standing. I was cleaning the house and helping the kids with a variety of activities, so I was mostly up and about. When the kids went to bed, I had Sam blow up the water bath that Rebecca had given to us and I called Rebecca. My contractions weren’t regular or increasing in intensity, so she said to call her back if they did either. Her thought was they were “getting organized” but not yet serious. Sure enough, about 30 minutes later they totally stopped.

Thursday morning (39 weeks) Sapphire and I headed to the parkway to walk and play at the parks. I had contractions all during that time, but very similar to the previous Tuesday. When I drove home they stopped but resumed while walking around in the home. Around 3 hours after the first contraction that morning they stopped completely. I spent the rest of the day making a delicious crock pot Chicken Tikka Masala and finishing some tasks for work that couldn’t wait. I hoped the baby would come soon, but really had no idea. The next day Winston didn’t have school, so I talked to the kids about going to visit Grandma for the day before meeting with Rebecca for my 39 week appointment. Thursday evening Winston had parent-teacher conferences and we again went to the park to let them run around, before going home and heading to bed.

real labor begins

I was having a dream that some of my employees were emailing reasons why I needed to vote for Donald Trump. One employee after another emailed me, and with each email I read, I shuddered. Then I realized those shudders were contractions. I woke up and noticed the clock: 1:47am. I used the bathroom, went back to bed thinking they would stop, and chuckled at the thought that Donald Trump put me into labor. The contractions didn’t go away. I pulled out my phone and starting timing them. They were about 30-40 seconds in length and 4 – 6 minutes apart. I almost fell back asleep with each one, but when they came I had to focus on deep breathing. I timed for about an hour and then woke up Sam and called Rebecca at 3:03am. We headed downstairs to our family room and looking at the clock I guessed the baby would come by 5am, judging on my other deliveries.

As we waited for Rebecca, Sam got everything ready to fill up the tub, and moved everything else out of the room and gave me a blessing. I leaned on an exercise ball, rolling and swaying back and forth. A little before 4am, Rebecca arrived and walked in reciting the nursery rhyme Monday’s Child, “Friday’s child is loving and giving.”

By 4am, Rebecca was ready—all her equipment was moved in, the tub was being filled. She checked me—6cm and “stretchy.” We discussed breaking my water, knowing it would speed things up. But I already had 2 labors with water broken and I wanted to see what it would be like without breaking it. So, I went another 30 minutes (4:30 by this time) and had Rebecca check me again—7cm, with a bulging water sac. I decided not to break it. The contractions weren’t intense. I could breathe through them as I moved from ball to squats, to child’s pose, to standing and swaying. Some contractions were similar to menstrual cramps, others were in my low back, but most were a rumble or surge in my lower abdomen. Rebecca put some menthol oil on my low back which cooled it and eased any tension. There seemed to be more time between each contraction than I ever had with my other labors. I knew without that intensity I wasn’t close enough to have the baby by 5am.

So, from 4:30-6am, Sam and Rebecca chatted about some of his running adventures while I moved around from ball to floor to swaying and frequently used the bathroom. Rebecca occasionally monitored the heart rate of the baby. Sometimes it was during a contraction, sometimes in the water, sometimes during a rest. He was doing great! A little before 6am I noticed the contractions were intensifying. I think they were still about as far apart, but each one was more productive. Occasionally I could even feel the baby moving down inside of me—something I never felt with my other babies.

transition and delivery

I started to get hot, which reminded me of the last stretch before my other babies were born. I decided it was time to get in the tub. The water was warm and felt excellent on my low back during the next few contractions—especially the hot water Sam turned on to bring the temperature back up. Rebecca rubbed more menthol oil on my back (and my chest because I was very congested with allergies), and also added clary sage to the water, which supposedly speeds up labor. She also put a wet, cold towel around my shoulders—which felt wonderful. During contractions she used a cup to pour water over my back, which helped me remember to relax my shoulders and give in to the contractions. The contrast of the hot water pouring and cold towel felt great on my skin. After about 25-30 minutes of this tub time, I got out one more time to use the bathroom. I had some strong contractions while upstairs and Sam came to make sure I would make it back downstairs.

By then I was getting very warm and unsure I wanted to get back in the warm water. I headed to the door leading out to the garage to get some cool air. I had a very strong contraction standing in the door and headed back to the couch to lean on the arm during the contraction. This might have been my first vocal moaning through a contraction. Rebecca massaged my shoulders and rubbed my back during this contraction, which felt so nice. Rebecca must have been afraid I’d either break the water or the baby might be born right there, because she put a bunch of disposable absorber cloths and towels under me. I went back to the door of the garage for cool air one more time before getting in the tub. It was about 6:40am. I realized we had been lucky that the kids were still asleep in their beds, but that wouldn’t last much longer. I asked Rebecca to break my water. She suggested I reach myself and see if I could feel it. I reached up but couldn’t feel anything, no water sac, no baby head. Rebecca reached for her instrument when my water broke all by itself.

During the next contractions I had a difficult time getting comfortable. Oh, how I remembered those same feelings of searching for a way to position my body to work through the contractions with my other labors. I knew this was the end—I was so close. And I was so uncomfortable. But I could feel some weight or movement of the baby. I kept waiting to feel the urge to push, but it wasn’t there yet. Just intense pressure during the next few contractions as I tried to adjust my position from kneeling in the tub, to squatting, to being on hands and knees. 

As one intense contraction started, I shifted back into a squat and that was an immediate feeling of pain, so I stayed on my knees and raised my hands to lean over the tub. “I need something,” I said, and Rebecca grabbed my hands. That was it—I could squeeze her hands and pull through the contractions while Sam leaned over the tub and pressed on my low back. That contraction or the next was the first urge I had to push. Man, that feeling this time was awful! If you want graphic description, here you go: it felt like I needed to poop. Not just a simple poop—I needed to push quickly-or-else, no matter that it felt like a bowling ball would erupt through my flesh. I think I even said, “I hate this feeling. It feels like I have to poo—why does it have to feel that way?” Rebecca told me to ask God about that.

So, I had a few of those awful-feeling contractions as I searched for the best position, trying to rest during the breaks instead of thinking of how strong the next contraction would be. Sapphire was born with me standing and squatting and it was not the intense need-to-poop feeling, but with this labor each time I leaned into a squat position my body protested. So, on my knees leaning forward was how I was to stay. I gave in to the urge and pushed with the next 2 contractions and thought for sure the baby was crowning, but I reached to feel and there was no head. “It’s not working” is something I think I said. Rebecca said my rectum had flattened, meaning the head was on its last bend out. Rebecca reminded me to moan deeply for the next push, and boy oh boy did I feel baby’s head crowning. Quickly moving, but ring-of-fire burning. I needed Rebecca’s hand and it felt as though Sam couldn’t push on my back hard enough, but Rebecca could only give me one hand because the other was supporting the baby’s head as she told me not to push, to slow down and wait for the next contraction. I wanted the baby out, but I could feel what she meant and I didn’t want to tear. So I breathed deeply, the next contraction not coming soon enough. 

Then it came and the head emerged, completely underwater. Sam chuckled as he could see his face, lips all puckered out in a kissy face. Rebecca said he had lots of hair and told me to look. I leaned my head down to see, but my belly was in the way and I was too slanted forward to see down below, but I could feel it with my hand—and there was a lot of hair! I rubbed his little head and felt some of the vernix glide off into the water. Rebecca grabbed a photo, “You’re going to want to see this.” 

I again wanted to push but she encouraged me to wait for the next contraction. His head emerged at 6:58, and Rebecca commented, “Will he be a 6:59 baby or a 7:00 baby?” I was surprised to feel my body pause. There was still an uncomfortable feeling with baby’s head out, but my body was resting for the final contraction. Finally the next contraction came and I felt his shoulders slightly twist and then that familiar release of pressure as he flopped out of me (that release feels so nice after all those need-to-poop feelings—believe me!).

It was exactly 7:00am. Rebecca pushed him toward me in the water and said, “Catch him.” I looked down and oh! How I wish I had a photo of this sweet new baby gliding in the water toward my knees! I picked him up and kissed him and held him close as I sat back against the tub. I was so happy to have him in my arms (and not against my rectum!) and to have him in our family. [I didn’t cry then—probably too much adrenaline—but I am shedding tears now remembering that sweet moment.] He cried a little, but was wide-eyed and content as soon as a warm wet towel was draped over him in the tub.

From the time my water broke to birth time was only twenty minutes. I commented that if there is a next time, I’m breaking that water earlier! Not long after that I reflected again on those intense 20 minutes of pressure and discomfort, chuckled and said, “I’m never doing that again.” [And now, of course, there is this familiar after-birth high that wants to try it again! Why can pain have that effect?]

meeting siblings 

At 7:03am, Winston came down the stairs definitely looking surprised. We always tell Winston to go back to his room until it is a 7 on his clock (otherwise he is up too early), so out he came as soon as it was. We showed him the baby and asked if he heard anything but he said no and was surprised and excited his little brother was born in that tub he had seen the days before. At 7:08 I heard Sapphire’s door open and I called her to come downstairs. It was sweet to have them there so soon after the baby was born to meet him and welcome him to our family. I thought the baby would have been born sooner, based on my other deliveries, but it was great timing.

Winston called my mom and Sam’s mom to tell them the baby was here. He was excited to be the one to tell them. He said it was born in the tub at home, but Sam’s mom didn’t hear that part. My mom knew because she asked me flat out a couple weeks before if we were having it at home.

after birth and cleanup

We allowed the umbilical cord to stop pulsing completely before Sam cut it. There are many benefits of doing so, including allowing blood from the placenta to flow into the baby, with many good nutrients that they are continuing to study and learn about (like a natural pain killer similar to ibuprofen—who knew?—and more blood to infant which can help keep blood sugar high), plus it helps shrink the placenta inside of me which can prevent hemorrhaging. We offered Winston to cut it, but he didn’t want to. Sam took the baby and Rebecca helped me deliver the placenta and get out of the tub. I was completely amazed at how clean the water was after the baby was born. There were small chunks of vernix and two larger blood clots from the womb, and that was it. The water was still clear. I didn’t tear, so there was no blood until after the placenta delivered. After that, I laid on the couch and nursed the baby. Right about that time my mom arrived. The kids were excited to head to her house for the day and for a sleepover, and barely let her stay to hold the baby.

In the next moments, Rebecca made sure I was comfortable, measured the baby—6 lbs 13.8 oz, 20.5 inches—made sure he was breastfeeding, with Sam’s help used a sump-pump to pump the water out of the bath through the window out to the front yard, took blood samples from the placenta, packed up all her things, helped me get upstairs to clean up, put the baby in a sunny warm spot and did his check up, and then headed out. My mom was amazed as she watched this and commented she wished she had done this with her babies. Rebecca was back Sunday afternoon to check up on baby and me.

reflection

Rebecca said that 3^rd babies usually follow their own birth story and not usually like the other babies before them. Sure enough with ours. I never had contractions prior to birth day with my other kids. With Winston my water broke and then labor started. With Sapphire I was induced, but didn’t feel any of the Pitocin-induced contractions until the doctor came in and broke my water. Winston’s labor was 3 hours, Sapphire’s was also about 3 hours (but born 1 ½ hours after my water broke). Little Nico’s was just over 5 hours from when I woke up with contractions. The intensity of this labor was a LOT less than the others, as they say it will be when you don’t break the water. But the last 20 minutes when it was descending and crowning was as intense as I remember from my other two labors. As Rebecca said, I allowed this baby to have his very own birth story. We didn’t interfere with anything. There’s a soft and pleasant feeling that comes with that thought.

thoughts on home birth

Utah has one of the highest rates of home births in the nation, with 2.89% of births being in the home; US average is still only 1.36% (CDC data found here). More and more insurance companies are showing their interest in home births (my insurance covers it), as the statistics show good results (sometimes better than hospital births). 

There are many benefits of having a home birth. Many are listed on Rebecca's website here. From the book Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: The Wisdom and Science of Gentle Choices in Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting by Sarah J. Buckley, MD I learned:

• Many studies show at least as good maternal and infant mortality rates as hospitals, but many studies show better rates. 
• There are also much less interventions during birth, leading to less tears, less c-sections, more alert and better conditions of babies, better breastfeeding outcomes, and better transition to motherhood for mothers within the first months postpartum.
• a more recent study than this book shows that "among low-risk women, planned home births result in low rates of interventions without an increase in adverse outcomes for mothers and babies." 
• The Netherlands have the highest rate of home birth in the Western world and some of the lowest rates of intervention with good outcomes for mothers and babies.

Since my first pregnancy, I have read 11 books about natural labor and deliveries that have helped me prepare for labor, understand the birth process, understand interventions and when/why needed, read many birth stories including with and without epidurals and C-sections, VBACs, in and out of hospital. My favorites are written by medical doctor women who themselves wanted better experiences than hospital settings: Birthing a Better Way: 12 Secrets for Natural Childbirth by Kalena Cook (click here for my review of the book; this is a great one even if you do plan an epidural hospital birth) and Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: The Wisdom and Science of Gentle Choices in Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting by Sarah J. Buckley (my review here; loved the science and explanations of hormones during and after labor and how those are interfered when induced or C-section; and the science-based explanation of effects of hospital interventions). My favorite for pain management is: Mindful Birthing: Training the Mind, Body, and Heart for Childbirth and Beyond by Nancy Bardacke (my review here).

As I mentioned earlier, I reflect fondly on my two hospital deliveries. There are a few things that were a bother, but overall we had good experiences. Because I went natural with all three, I have healed similarly. I could walk around easily right after birth. I could use the restroom and have not been sore (other than after-labor pains--those were intense! Anyone who can handle those after birth cramping, especially during breastfeeding, can handle a natural labor and delivery! There were every bit as painful, if not worse because they lasted longer than a typical contraction.). 

I have been grateful for my ability to heal well after each birth. But nothing will beat this home birth. My own home, a setting undisturbed. A wonderful supportive husband and midwife to help me labor but no others. My own bed. No nurses bothering me or the baby in the wee hours of the morning. I didn't have to go anywhere or worry about anyone but me and my baby. It was beautiful. I would do it again, and I would highly recommend it.

We Love the Library

This is the typical-sized stack of books I bring home from the library every 2-3 weeks. I've been scouring the children's bookshelves on my knees picking dozens of books at a time for about 5 years now, and I love it! 

I love it because there are so many gems in children's books. I love discovering books old and new, beloved authors for generations and brand-new, first-published authors. 

I love it because of the great messages in many of the stories. I especially love the ones that make me AND my children laugh. And occasionally I find some that make me cry, and I love those, too.

Usually, a handful of what I bring home we only read once, because they are...well...boring. To the me AND the kids. Some times I love a book more than the kids (like all the Sandra Boynton books--they are great...but my kids don't think so). And there are always a few that my kids want to read one time (or three or five times) too many.

But the majority of the books are fabulous! Over the last few years, my love for picture books has grown. In fact, it's not uncommon for me to use them when I teach adult classes. We all can learn from them!

Thanks to the library pamphlets of age-appropriate books, I'm always able to find books and authors that match the development of my kids. The only problem is there are too many books and life is simply too short to flip through all.

If you know me, you know I like to purge and declutter. This is why I love the library so much. I do buy books (and of all stores, bookstores rank up there next to Target on my list of favs), but I'd rather utilize the library to save money and storage space (occasionally, of course, there's a book we borrow from the library that I MUST own). There are so many reasons to love this library routine of ours.

And, of course, a major bonus to these stacks of books is the benefit my kids get out of it. They, too, are gaining a love for books and learning more than studies can even pinpoint. Plus, we get to cuddle and spend some one-on-one time together. 

What's not to love about a big, heavy, fresh stack of children's books?

A Nanny: Wouldn't It Be Lovely?

Sometimes I daydream about how nice it would be to have a nanny. I've never had one. I've never been one. I couldn't afford one. And I don't actually want one--I'm way too particular about doing things the way I want it done. Just ask Sam.

It would, however, be nice if I had a nanny handy in these specific situations.

1. When the baby is napping and I need to go to the store. When my baby sleeps, I usually get a lot done around the home and/or for work. But sometimes I need to run to the store. Most of the time I can get to the store after I drop the preschooler off but before the baby needs a nap, though not always. Morning nap comes quickly and it sure would be nice to have a nanny to hang around at home, listening for the baby that probably won't wake up, while I run a quick errand.

2. When the baby is sleeping and I need to go pick up or drop off the preschooler. This happens all the time lately...poor little one's nap is cut short way too often. Hey, I'd even be okay with the nanny dropping off and picking up.

3. When cooking dinner. I saw this meme a few months ago and thought is was perfect. Why is it that while you can do other chores around the house without much difficulty (usually), making dinner is incredibly difficult for the children? That is exactly the precise moment every day that they want everything and anything from me. If a nanny were around I could think about the meal without burning it or forgetting an ingredient. Or simply have dinner ready in half the time, as I'd be distraction free. That'd be lovely.

4. When I get ready in the morning. Most of the time, I can get ready before the kids wake up. Or at least on the days when I wake up at 5:30AM to exercise. Those are always my best days. Other days I wake up later and try to squeeze in a workout, but I might not get done before they awake, or the baby wakes earlier than usual. I can get ready really quickly when someone isn't pulling on my leg or begging for breakfast.

5. When making a quick trip somewhere--up the road to a neighbor's to drop off stuff, etc., when I have my arms full. Sometimes loading/unloading kids in car seats or using a stroller isn't conducive or is more effort than it's worth. We just don't live in a world where the kids can stay in the car longer than a moment.

6. When I need a power nap. Every now and then my kids will play nicely together in another nook of the house, but no matter if they just began or have been playing for a while, as soon as I lay down on the couch they are all over me. It's like the very thought of "oh, it'd be nice to have a nap" is a magnet for the kids. No matter what they are doing, they have a sudden and urgent need to find me and prevent such a nap. Even if the nanny only kept the children in the other room for 5 minutes, it'd be worth it.



Of course, sometimes my husband is around to fill these nanny-needs. Sometimes. We're pretty busy folks, and we do a lot of passing of the batons (the batons are the children). One day my kids will be older and they can fill these nanny-needs. Until then, I'll keep daydreaming.

My Son Eats Like a Rabbit

The last year or two it has been quite a battle getting my son to eat. But I think I've finally figured it out. It's not that my 4-almost-5-year-old son doesn't like to eat, it's that he's a rabbit--or at least he eats like a rabbit.

He will always eat rabbit food. You know, fresh pieces of fruits and veggies--unseasoned, uncooked, un-sauced. Cold, crisp, cut pieces of lettuce, carrots, radishes, red peppers, green peppers, yellow peppers, gold peppers, cauliflower, cucumbers, celery, kale and cabbage. Juicy, fresh pieces of apples, oranges, grapefruit, pineapple, watermelon, pears, peaches, plums, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and grapes.

He doesn't just eat rabbit food, he eats like a rabbit, too. He nibbles and nibbles and nibbles, and while it looks like he is chewing lots of food, he really is just very thoroughly chewing the same. little. bit. over and over and over. Lots of nibbles, very few bites. It takes For. Ev. Er. I think he burns more calories eating than he actually absorbs from the food.

I know, great, huh? My son enjoys eating vegetables and fruits. Yay! He'll stave off many chronic illnesses, like heart disease, cancers, high blood pressure, etc. etc. etc. 

BUT. I think the realization that my son eats rabbit food has brought another realization: No wonder he is ornery and whiney often! I mean, really, how many of you have tried a diet of purely veggies and fruits? Don't you get hungry for carbs? Brains need carbohydrates to function. Doesn't your body crave fat? Fat and carbs are awesome sources of energy (calories) that my son doesn't get much of, because he's too busy chewing that stick of celery.

I've tried adding calories to things--peanut butter to celery (he refuses), peanut butter to apples (riiight), nutella to numerous fruit (no way), ranch or other dip for raw veggies (he'll run away), butter and cheese to potatoes (maaaybe, but not without a fight).

Not too long ago someone recommended that I try concentrating on feeding him high-calorie breakfasts. I realized we tend to already do this, but I made a more concentrated effort to do so. He's pretty good about eating breakfast, as he always wakes up with an appetite (I wonder why...). It seems to work. He'll almost always dive into a bowl of maple and brown sugar instant oatmeal (I switched to full-sugar kind cooked with whole milk for extra calories; sometimes he has two packets), a pancake or two with chocolate chips, or pieces of toast with butter, honey and scrambled eggs. He's usually great about drinking a cup or more of whole milk, so at least there's a good chunk of energy for him.

There are other things he'll usually eat. This kid loves kidney beans, cheese, cookies and brownies. But that's about it. I'm doing my best to practice patience as he is yet again hungry because he won't eat more than a few pieces of lettuce and a clementine. Good thing he's cute!

Granola: The Super Human Food

My husband has been running like crazy. Like trail running. In the mountains. For hours on end. The snow doesn't even stop him. I can barely keep up with his running blog: orangetrailmonkeys.blogspot.com

My food budget has been forced to expand due to all his running. We now add items like cliff bloks, protein powder drinks, frozen burritos, and powerade to our regular shopping list. Not to mention he just eats more and more ice cream to keep up with all those burned calories! I keep telling him it's expensive, but a lack of exercising would one day be more expensive, so I guess it's okay.

(Side note: you know what's amazing? Sam weighs more now than he ever has since I've known him. Running is filling out his body in a good way. No longer skin and lurpy bones.)

One food Sam eats way more quickly than I get around to making is granola. When a fresh batch is in the pantry, he eats a large bowl every morning. This recipe fills a whole #10 can, but he downs it in about a week. I'm lucky to get some to sprinkle on yogurt for a snack (which is so yummy!).

I've tried making a few different granola recipes. Most Sam likes, but some he hasn't. This one I created by combining a few and adding my own changes. One day I want to add peanut butter, but I have yet to try that.

It's easy to adjust granola recipes. Don't have oil? Use applesauce or melted butter. Out of nuts? Don't add them. Don't like raisins? Forget about them. Like coconut? Sure--add it in!

Homemade Granola – Runner’s Superfood

8 cups rolled oats

1 cup sliced almonds

1 cup chopped pecans

1 cup chopped walnuts

½ - 1 cup shredded coconut

¾ cup honey

1/3 cup canola oil

1/3 cup applesauce

¼ cup packed brown sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

2 tablespoons ground cinnamon

dash salt

dried fruit (optional, add after baking)

*Note: this is doubling the recipe and it makes enough to fill a #10 can. You will need to bake it in 2 batches.

1.     Preheat oven to 350F.

2.     Mix oats, nuts and coconut in a large mixing bowl.

3.     Combine honey, oil, applesauce, brown sugar, vanilla, cinnamon and salt in a pot on stove over medium heat. Mix until smooth (no need to boil).

4.     Pour honey/oil mixture over oat mixture. Mix until well incorporated.

5.     Line 2 large baking sheets or jelly roll pans with parchment paper sprayed with baking spray. Pour half granola on each pan.

6.     Bake each pan for 10 minutes. Then stir to prevent burning. Bake another 5-10 minutes until desired texture. Remember, the granola will continue to cook after removing from the oven.

7.     Stir well upon removing from the oven if you’d like a non-clumpy granola. If you want it clumpy, don’t stir much after removing from oven.

8.     After cooled, store in airtight container. Eat with milk like cold cereal, or perfect in a yogurt parfait.

*Tips:

o  This granola will be slightly crunchy. Reduce heat to 275F and bake for 25 minutes if you want a softer granola. Or “bake” in the microwave.

o  If you don’t like any of the nuts or coconut, or don’t have all of them, they can easily be omitted. Sunflower seeds can also be added.

o  Oil, butter, and applesauce can be easily interchanged, based on what you have on hand.

oHoney and brown sugar can also be interchanged. Also can use corn syrup, though not as flavorful.

One day while this was baking Winston walked in the kitchen, took a great big sniff and said, "Mmmm...that smells yummy." He's right--baking this makes your house smell mmm, good!

Ah! A Blog Post!

It's been more than 7 months since a blog post appeared.

7 months!

That's about half as old as Miss Baby Belle, who isn't much of baby anymore...

I will NOT attempt to make up for the last 7 months, however I do really want to post some highlights. So, I'll cheat and pre-date some of the future posts coming, including a couple of cute collages of Miss Belle's growth and a fun record of the funny things Winston has said the last few months.

Happy New Year, one and all!