The OMFG moment.

When after 9 months of using my phone, I realised a cool shit thing it can do. Took me long enough, wow.

Im so drowning in school work. Sometimes, you just study until you wanna cry cause it's just too much shit. And all the assignments and quizzes that weigh so little yet affects everything. And the worse part about smu, class participation. I'm so screwed this sem. I haven spoke up at all. Fuck. I hate class part, shit balls.

I can't remember the last time I slept in peace.

Why.

MR posted this on instagram. Exactly.

"I don't understand how someone can just go from person to person. I don't understand how someone can drop their feelings just like that, how they can be dating someone one day and then two days later be going after someone else. I don't understand it. It takes me a very long time to get over someone and fall for another one. So, I guess, this is just something I can't understand. How feelings can be so fragile, how commitment can be so meaningless that there's really nothing invested. How, if someone wanted to just pack everything and head off somewhere else, to someone else, they could because everything they "had" was completely meaningless. How am I supposed to believe those feelings was real? How can someone try to tell me that it's the same as what I've felt, things that have taken me months to get over?"

Sigh.

The prof better not be wrong.

Sibeh dulan now. I just spent the past 40 minutes staring at the exercise my prof gave out as homework. And the examples he give, and what is stated in the textbook, and what is commonsense, DONT MAKE ANY SENSE. I read the instructions to the exercise at least 15 times to make sure I didn't understand anything wrongly. BUT THE STUPID EXAMPLE CONTRADICTS THE QUESTIONS. And I gave up. Shall email him tomorrow. I rather it be me being stupid and not understanding what he wants, than him having typos (which he always does) which end up causing me 40 minutes of my already-insufficient time.

40 minutes, I could have finished like, say, 6 pages of my pol science readings. ARGH.

Bloody instincts.

I always had a hunch about it. It was like this very strong instinct that cannot be proven cause there's no evidence. And I always thought i was just thinking too much because it doesn't seem very much possible. But today, right before I left home for project meeting, I was finally able to put the pieces together. It was a "wow, so i was right about it this whole time", and a "fuck, i fucking knew it. fuck it" moment. Thanks to it, I am so fucking affected the entire day. Yes, it doesn't matter anymore. You're no where near the word, 'worthy'. But please. I don't wanna ever see you again in my life. And another you, I pray that I won't ever bump into you in school. God damn it, please hor.

I think I have every right to be angry with you. And the unexplainable sense of betrayal.

Whoever's reading this, don't ask me about this. Tyvm.

Buzz.

The weekend came, and flew away.

And I've yet to have time to even on my macbook to configure.

Almost 2 in the morning, There are a million things not done.

Ahhhhh.

Lesson no. 19: The sun and the sea make everyone happy.

Lesson no. 20: Happiness is a certain way of seeing things.

Lesson no. 21: Rivalry poisons happiness.

Lesson no. 22: Women care more about men about making others happy.

Lesson no. 23: Happiness means making sure those around you are happy?

Yea, there's no 18.

For I am blessed.

The realization of the immense amount of love in my heart. Towards the few special ones whom I love so dearly. It doesn't matter what kind of love it is. I'm thankful I have these people in my life who are so love-worthy. Haha.

所谓人生如戏 唱聚散和分离
有多少人能唱进你心里
我们都应该庆幸有人住在心里
有牵挂其实是一种福气

Lesson no. 15: Happiness comes when you truly feel alive.

Lesson no. 16: Happiness is knowing how to celebrate.

Lesson no. 17: Happiness is caring about the happiness of those you love.

Happy birthday anan! ♥

Happens to be the 100th blog post! Woots!

Anyway anan, I could probably write a whole essay about how I feel towards you. But I just hope you understand I really love you like a hell lot although we always have our stupid fights. Okay, I need to go finish my essay which is due tomorrow now. STOP NOT REPLYING MY MESSAGES HOR ):

Anyway gf, your cupcakes really tasted good! REALLY! From deep down bottom of my heart (: ZHEN DE LA!

Today was a awesome day. Somehow.

And by 'awesome', i meant not-exactly-awesome-awesome, but it wasn't miserable!

Met up with gf for lunch at KFP and discussed about pa, and talk cocked much. Thank god we always make all these work fun, if not...ya. 有你真好, as much as you ALWAYS, without fail, agitate me by your relaxed lifestyle, watching tv, baking, cooking, reading, and whatever ): but yeah asnl!

Was feeling quite very miserable when I had to leave for the lesson which i dread the most. Was complaining to gf about how it's like some essay writing module, crafting good arguments and thesis. BUT, today's class turned out so fun! Had group discussions where we ended up talking rubbish. Then the guys were explaining to me how operations for sex change goes, and they had to be so freaking explicit about it. And because i was the only girl in the group, they started talking about all the sick stuff. And when i ask questions, none of them wanted to explain to me. And when its time for us to present, we had nothing on our paper so we just anyhow bombed, yet our presentation ended up, not bad! But I just sat through the entire class laughing and laughing away.

Met Sean after school for dinner, and we just sat there talking rubbish too. Well, he did all the talking while i was eating. Been years since we had a meal together, just the both of us. We were probably 14 the other time we sat at that same coffee shop, having lunch before going to school together. Oh mannnn, all grown up now.

And the things we talk about now are so different from the last time we had a proper talk. His pilot plans, his future money-making plans and of course, all his clubbing nonsense, which is ridiculously interesting and funny.

All time favourite boy ♥

Yeah, freaking good mood today, after 4 weeks of school. But the thought of completing my essay tonight, is haunting me. Sigh, kbye.

Barely afloat.

Keep looking up. Just so the tears don't roll down.

F.

So bloody tired.

So little time.

So much things to do.

Identify and describe a technology/innovation that has been important for the emancipation of women. #godblessme

People are kinder to a child who smiles.

Lesson no. 13: Happiness is feeling useful to others.

Lesson no. 14: Happiness is to be loved for exactly who you are.

Praying that today will go fine.

Hoping that she'll be genuinely surprised.

Taking lessons in unhappiness.

Lesson no. 9: Happiness is knowing your family lacks for nothing.

Lesson no. 10: Happiness is doing a job you love.

Lesson no. 11: Happiness is having a home and a garden of your own.

Lesson no. 12: Its harder to be happy in a country run by bad people.

We both know time will further the distant. What should I do?

Lesson no. 7: It's a mistake to think that happiness is the goal

Lesson no. 8: Happiness is being with the people you love.

Lesson no. 8b: Unhappiness is being separated from the people you love.

Back to mugging.

Looking forward to next summer.

I swear I've clocked at least 24 hours of studying this week (excluding the time I'm in school).

Seriously, its only week 2.

Lesson no. 6: Happiness is a long walk in the mountains.

Good night world.

34 hours into not sleeping. Falling asleep everywhere.

The old monk said, 'The basic mistake people make is to think that happiness is the goal!' And he began to laugh.