Giddy Up!!

Reagan has been taking riding lessons for several months (and a few months this past summer).  She really enjoys it.  She LOVES the PONIES!!  Today was a new milestone for her.  She was able to ride solo, without a leader.  Up until today she has had an instructor helping guide her horse by walking along side of her and holding onto the reins.  She was SO PROUD of herself and was beaming when she ran out of the stable to tell me she got to ride "all by herself"!!  (Not, that I didn't watch and record her walking around the arena all morning!!)   So....here are a couple of pictures and two videos!!  Trust me when I tell you I could have posted a hundred!!


She looked all grown-up and so tiny all at the same time while sitting a top that horse this morning.

She was so proud!  She smiled so big when she saw me standing over here taking her picture!!

This was at the beginning of the morning.  She does a good job stopping (helped by the instructor) and listening to her instructions, and then continuing on.

This one is my favorite.   She stops, listens for instructions, continues, and then does a great job turning the horse around without bumping into the other horses. 

Middle School Talent Show

Middle School Talent Show....not sure there are many words to describe it.  It was interesting!!  But, i have to say, I am so very proud of all the kiddos that got up on that stage and demonstrated their talents, gifts, and passions.  That is something I love about this school, they really encourage all these kids to be confident in themselves and step out of their comfort zone at times.

Two weeks ago Landon came home from school saying he was auditioning for the talent show.  I was proud!  I asked him what he was going to do, sing, play the piano, etc.  He said he was going to solve a Rubik's Cube.  After working through exactly what that might look like on stage we came to a solution.  He knew just standing up there and solving the cube, even though it would take him less than 90 seconds, would be boring for his audience and would feel like an eternity.  He decided, after some other suggestions, to create a "background track" on Garage Band on his iPad.  So, here he is, at the Middle School Talent Show solving a Rubik's Cube with an original song playing in the background.

He is so confident, I LOVE it!!!

I Wear A Lot of Bracelets

I wear a lot of bracelets. 😁 I have a favorite necklace that I wear almost every day, so I choose to adorn my wrist with special pieces. I can get away with 6-8 bracelets, but 6-8 necklaces and I'd feel like Mr. T. Plus, I can see them, and hear them jingle throughout the day. Each of these bracelets has a meaning. Some are milestone markers, some reminders for various things/goals/people/moments.  Each one very special to me.

I got two new ones today that mean the world to me. My mother's actual handwriting. I always loved my mom's signature, and tried so hard to emulate it when I was "choosing" mine. (I could never get my R's like hers.) The other is how she signed my 16th birthday card. She usually signed things "Mother", and only occasionally Mom, and I loved that. These words mean the world to me, because I know they are true. Now, I can carry a piece of her with me every day.

Boys Weekend

My boys had an opportunity to take a weekend trip to a camp in Alabama with some other dads and sons.  A friend of ours attends this camp for a month each summer...a month!!  I'm not sure how his mom does it!!!  Alpine Camp for Boys is a Christian camp in Mentone, AL.  They have an amazing summer camp program.  They also offer father/son weekend adventures during the school year for 250 fathers and sons.  The weekend retreat has become so popular the camp had to open up a THIRD weekend this year to accommodate those who want to attend, and there is STILL a wait list.  Praise GOD there are so many men willing to invest in their sons in this way!!  This little adventure was a fun and encouraging weekend for both Landon and Shannon!!

I was surprised to receive so many pictures from the dads throughout the weekend.  Based on the departure picture, I wasn't sure if we would get ANY!!  The dads pulled through!!  (Probably because the mommies were a little vocal about sending pictures!!)

Packing for the trip was a challenge!  They needed to take bedding/sleeping bags, and several additional items.  I tried to keep Landon's things as organized as possible for him  I knew dad would be there to help, but they still need a mother's touch, even when far away from home!   One of the items they said they needed was fishing equipment and tennis rackets!  We called an audible and passed on the tennis rackets because they were having to pack all this into a suitcase.  I did manage to talk Shannon into checking a bag for the trip. This is the man who can travel 2 weeks in Asia in a carry-on.  He despises checked bags!!!  I talked him into ONE checked bag for the both of them.  That was my challenge...get them packed for a three day weekend, including bedding/pillows, towels etc., and keep it under 50 pounds.  I took on the challenge and let me say, the bag weighed 50.0 pounds at the ticket counter!!  #precision  

We were trying to get a picture of the whole group before they left.  The moms were afraid this was going to be the only picture we got all weekend.  Due to some other travel schedules from some moms, some hungry boys, we didn't get a picture before they got through security. To be honest, I wasn't sure it would happen at that point....  But the dads managed to make it happen.  I'm not sure it didn't have something to do with the fact that one mom was also traveling that day so she was able to get past security and just so happened her flight was leaving from the same gate as the boys on the flight before them.  She said she announced to the gate passengers that the boys were REQUIRED to get a picture before they left!!  Here is the group of dads who took their sons on this adventure.  I hope and pray that they made some amazing memories, and that the boys will remember this trip for years to come!!  Since I think one of the moms is making a photobook, it will probably be remembered for a while.

Shannon didn't disappoint.  From the get-go he was sending pictures...he knows!!  These first two pictures made me smile.  First one, because I'm so thankful for Shannon and his passion to share and show Landon what it means to be a man of God, to live out his faith, and be an example for our son so he can have someone to look up to and model himself after.  Landon loves his dad and they have a great relationship.  I pray that weekends like this help build those memories for him.  Aside from the day to day, it's these special times they can bond.

The second picture makes me smile because it is EXACTLY what I would have expected from Landon.  I was not the least bit surprised to see this picture come across my phone!  Landon may be only the 2nd person in history to read emergency response card from the airplane seat pocket.  That's my boy... I love him!!!!

I'm going to upload a lot of the pictures that the boys sent home during the weekend with little explanations (as I understand them).  But, I want to start with this video.  Landon is deathly afraid of heights. He is a "toe dipper" and doesn't jump into ANYTHING lightly.  He has been trying to work himself up to the zip line at Camp Thurman every summer for the past three years.  He inches a little higher on the Tarzan Swing each term (he goes twice a summer).  In 6 terms at CT he has gone from refusing to get on, to getting on at the lowest level, to incing up to about half-way to the top.  When he heard there was an option for a zip line at Alpine Camp he said he was going to try and do it.  I prayed that he would ether be comfortable and confident enough to do it, or comfortable or confident to stand up and say he wasn't doing it, and not be embarrassed.  He was confident enough!

I was in tears when this came across a text message from Dad.  I was so proud!!  He was so proud of himself too, which is worth so much more!!

If it isn't working you can see it on Instagram here - https://www.instagram.com/p/BTMuOSMjwC2uvaJpYAEwlxKZsKLphfkXOYBvl40/?taken-by=shodges25

Here are some other pictures of the weekend.  Looks like they had a great time!!

All the boys made it safely on Friday afternoon.  Here they are waiting for dinner.  They forgot about the time change (their flight landed in the Eastern Time Zone, and then they unknowingly drove across the imaginary time zone line and back into Central.  So, they thought they were 30 minutes LATE to dinner, and ended up being 30 minutes EARLY!!  It's like that Sunday morning when you forgot to turn your clocks back!! 

The first evening was an awesome time making s'mores around the campfire.

Breakfast on Saturday!  Everyone looks well-rested and hungry!!!

Gladiator Ball...a tradition... Seems like its a lot like Slap Dodgeball from Camp Thurman.  Landon did get the first (and only one I think) injury during this game.  The object of this game is to slap a small ball across the "arena" and try to "tag" the other players (like dodgeball) but below the knees.  Landon took a big huge swipe at the ball and consequently scraped his knuckles across the concrete.  He's got the bloody knuckles and a fake story to go with it!!  Something about a huge bear, and he saved everyone's life!! :)

Archery - Landon shot a 45 out of 50!!

On the last night it rained...and rained...and rained...  The boys hung out in the cabin and played some card games...

 Shooting.  Dad was happy to show Landon a thing or two!  Landon has a little bit of experience here...thanks to some fun afternoons at Grandma and Grandpa's!!

 Such a great group of men and boys.  So thankful they had the opportunity to do this. Hopefully there are many more weekends and adventures!!

Girl's Weekend

Well, Reagan and couldn't let the boys get away with having all the fun!  Since the boys were gone for a long weekend, Reagan and I decided to have some adventures of our own!!

We got started as soon as possible.  Right after school we headed to Starbucks for chocolate milk and a cake pop!!

We had big plans for the evening.  They included doing things we can't usually do...like eating in mom and dad's bed and watching movies!!  She chose Chick-fil-A  for dinner and insisted on wearing her Elsa costume!!

We played some Memory.  She loves this game.  This version is made from pictures of our family!  It was a Christmas gift from a cousin! We love it!!

She's really good.  Landon and Reagan are great at this game!!  She won every match during one round.  She legitimately won every one!!!

When bedtime finally appeared, we had a sleepover.  She insisted on sleeping in her sleeping bag since we were having a slumber party!!  Worked for me...kept her mostly contained on that side of the  bed!!!

 We started the next morning with her regular riding lesson.  She loves these horses!!  She does very well.  I'm impressed such a small thing can control such as majestic animal!  After her lesson she always wants to snuggle her horse!!

After her lesson we changed clothes and headed to the nail salon.  She was SO EXCITED about doing this!!  She had been looking forward to it for days!!  The poor nail technician only had to redo them one time!!

After church on Sunday we headed home and did a little bit of cleaning.  (It may be girl's weekend, but the chores still have to get done!!).  Reagan LOVES to be outside.  No matter what we are doing, this is where she wants to be.  Today is was bubbles.  The automatic bubble blower wasn't working correctly, so she was having to go old-school!!!   She didn't mind one bit!!

We watched Trolls in the media room and of course played it in Party Mode and sang along to all the songs!!!

At some point during the weekend we played with the Snapchat filters....I liked this one!!!

 About 5:00 we left to go pick up Daddy and Bubby at the airport!  Reagan was very excited to see Daddy.  She went running across the baggage claim area when she saw him come through the doors.  She might have enjoyed Girl's Weekend, but she was VERY HAPPY to have her Daddy back home in her arms!!  I think he was happy to be there too!

Closure

“And that my friend, is what they call closure.” – Rachel Green

I wasn’t real sure why I needed to make this trip, but I knew I did.  I had a beating in my chest so strong that I couldn’t ignore it.  A month ago Jen and I had to end our calls due to some crazy rule about providing services across state lines….dumb!!  (I totally offered to use my Big Spender Winnings from Super Supper to pay her fees to get licensed in Texas. She laughed, but never flat out said no…I can hope!?!)  I had two months, and four calls to “process” this new information.  Jen and I spent our remaining calls talking about the last call and beyond.  I was trying to do my part on my own to work through the process of saying goodbye.  I journaled and painted and talked to a couple of friends.  I was really trying.  When the time came for our last call I thought I was ready.  I had written Jen a heartfelt Thank You note and said all the things I wanted and felt I needed to say.  I spent several hours in my studio working through stuff.  Out of my journals and processes came a “poem” (used in the loosest since of the word) and a painting.

The bicycle became a metaphor to help me move forward.  I also wanted her to know that I’m sure she has held the same role in the lives of many of her clients in the years prior, and especially now, as she was having to say goodbye to many of her current clients.  She was the one who helped teach many of us how to ride our own bikes and continue to move forward.  It brings to my mind a quote from Albert Einstein, “Life is like riding a bicycle.  To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”   I was very pleased to see the little bike painting on her bookshelf while I was there today.  (I have a copy hanging on the wall in my workspace upstairs to remind me to keep moving forward.)  I included the little “poem” on the back to help get my message across as best I could.  I’ve always felt short of words when it came to telling her what she has meant to me these past 7+ years.

So, after that last call about a month ago, I suddenly realized I wasn’t done.  I wasn’t ok.  I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but I needed more.  I needed to look her in the eye, say a heartfelt Thank You, and give her a big-‘ol-hug (or two or four).  I wasn’t sure what words I needed to say, but I knew there were more.  I made the trip.  Shannon was awesome about it from the get-go.  He understood I needed something, and that something was going to require me to make a trip to North Carolina.  So, here I am, a thousand miles from home, for about 24 hours.  A quick trip, but enough. 

I had my “session” with Jen this afternoon and although I had no idea what I needed or wanted from this hour, we managed to fill our time…and a little more….  It was so good to see her face, see her smile, and sit in that baby-blue office again.  It has been so long since I've actually sat across from her.  It really does make a difference. She is so easy to talk to…guess that’s good, since it’s her job!!  I mean, I've managed to spill the beans for over seven years...2-4 times a month!!  (Totally meant to take a selfie with her and forgot!!)

Another aspect of this place that I felt I really needed to encounter again, was “The Duke Trail” (Al Buehler Trail) on the Duke University Campus.  It is a beautiful, three-mile trail around the Duke University Golf Course.   While I was here at Structure House many years ago (and the return visit the following year) this trail became a sort of spiritual place for me. (You can read about my first trip here.) I can’t really explain it in words, but the journey around this trail has become a special thing for me.  I’ve tried, in all my visits, to capture it in pictures, but I just can’t.  I just cannot capture the essence of this place in two-dimensional images.  It's so much more.  I did my best this evening, and I may try again in the morning.  (I just couldn't capture what I wanted in pictures.  I just can't.)

I flew in this morning, leaving DFW at about 7:00, and pretty much headed straight to Jen’s office when I landed.  After a quick stop at the hotel to freshen up I grabbed a quick lunch and headed to Structure House.  After my chat with Jen I went back to the hotel, changed clothes, and hit the trail.  I’m staying at a hotel on the Duke Campus that is on the golf course and trail.  Uber convenient! 😊  I walked out the door and onto the trail.  I had previously downloaded a custom playlist just for this walk, but decided that I didn’t want the distraction of someone else's words.  I needed to fill my mind and spirit with different words and my voices.  I took my time.  I think I averaged a 28-minute mile!!  (The Duke University Cross-Country team passed me no less than three times, running in the same direction!!  As did several other groups of Duke athletes.) I was in no hurry, no rush, no need to make it around in record time.  I stopped to take pictures and just listen.  Listen to my mind and nature.  I noticed the wildlife. The squirrels, the birds, especially this one woodpecker….  There was a male cardinal that “followed” me for quite a while.  He hopped along several trees along the path right next to me.  I noticed him.  You know what they say about spotting a red-bird… It was an hour and a half that really spoke to my soul.  I am so glad I took the time.  I do plan to go back out in the morning and take a final trip around the loop before I leave.  If the sun will show itself, it will make for some better images.  Or I may decide to leave the camera at home, listen to my playlist, and just let the feelings flow.  I know there will be tears.  I’m ready to say goodbye, but it is still hard.  

_______________________________________________________________________________

If you're interested in reading about my previous trips to Structure House, you can start here.

First Trip - 2009 (starts with this post)

Second Trip - 2010 (starts with this post)

Something Good

To say that the past few weeks (couple of months) have been a challenge, is an understatement. Some AMAZING growth, but sometimes shedding that too-tight-skin can hurt in all these new places. 

With the addition of my new planters and lights, my back porch has become one of my favorite places.  I spend A LOT of time out here.  Today I needed to seek wisdom from the one place I know will always be there.

I posted this to Instagram the other day, but wanted to document it here as well.  It was a powerful afternoon for me.  

Some days have you feeling like there are these people tugging at all your loose threads and you're beginning to unravel.
I'm having one of those days.
I grab The Word, grab the last clean coffee mug in the cabinet, and just look to God for guidance! After several minutes I realized what my coffee mug said...and it was...something good.#godisgoodallthetime #thenasiwasjustsoakinginthesunandsilencetheyardguyshoweduptomow #ifyouwanttodestorymysweater #holdthisthreadasiwalkaway #theselasttwohashtagsaremildlyinappropriateforthispost #cantgetthissongoutofmyheadtoday

Reagan's Spring Show

She finally got her chance!  Reagan finally had an opportunity to get on "the big stage" at "the big school"!!  The PreK Spring Performance was held in the Fine Arts Building.  Reagan talked about this for WEEKS!!  Every time Landon has a performance, whether at school or at Casa Manana, she wants to know when it's her turn to be on the stage.  I think we have a super star in our midst!   The auditorium was full of excited parents, grandparents, and family members.

Isn't this a fabulous looking group!!!!  This was taken at close to the end of her performance.  Can you spot her?  Front and center, BIG ARMS!!  She is so animated when she performs.  Its so sweet.

My friend Deme gave me the heads up that usually the parents will bring flowers to the girls after their performances.  I knew Landon's friends did after their big shows, usually just the main characters, but I didn't want Reagan to not have flowers if everyone else did!!  Well, maybe she WAS the star!!  ;} 

After the show we took some pictures near the flagpoles with her "fans" and her friend.  (Notice they have matching shirts...)

I guess I was talking during this picture...doesn't surprise me in the least!

Reagan and her friend, Rhadika.

Reagan and her biggest fan!! 

Gaga and Grandaddy came to watch too!!

This is Mrs.Strode, Reagan's teacher.  In our house Mrs. Strode is the most wise, all knowing, and ruler of ALL!!  I think she likes her!!  And the phrase, "Well that's not how Mrs. Strode does it" is heard all too often!!

Reagan, Rhadika, and their big brothers, Landon and Audit. (shot into the sun....)

Happy Birthday, Lucy!

April 1st was Lucy's 14th Birthday!!  That makes her 98 in dog years.  These past couple of years have been tough on this little girl.

#thatis98indogyears #sheishalfdeaf and #sheisthreequartersblind#sheseriouslyneedsahaircut#shetakesmoremedsthanido #myfirstbaby

The Glide Bike

I learned about the whole Glide Bike phenomenon a little too late for Landon.  He learned to ride a bike the traditional way, training wheels.  He has never been confident on a bike.  Add to the situation a pretty rough crash several years ago which concluded with two missing front teeth, and his desire to ride a bike now is LOW!  I still have hope...

We decided to start Reagan off with a glide bike.  A glide bike is a bike with no peddles.  The kids propel the bike with their feet.  They learn balance before they learn to peddle.  They learn how to feel the tiny adjustments they need to make to keep their core engaged to stay balanced.  The balancing is the hard part, so learn that first and the peddles are a snap!   They can begin "riding" a bike this way at about 18 months.  We gave Reagan a little more time!  When we moved into the new house, she was just turning 2.  So for Christmas the year she was 2 1/2 we got her a new pink (of course) glide bike.  She took off.  She walked that bike all over the house.  Just recently, in the past four months, shes really been able to pick up her feet and glide across the house.  She was anxious to get the bike outside on the "long sidewalk" (everything is relative) and see how far she could glide.  She did pretty well.  She had one hard fall, but I contained myself, let her process it, and not run to rescue her.  She brushed it off and climbed right back on!!

Here are a couple of videos of her in the front yard that evening.

 

Little Rock Visitors and a Trip to Six Flags

Our good friends Karen and Aaron came to Dallas with their two oldest kiddos for their Spring Break.  Unfortunately, their break did not coincide with ours.   We did however, manage to spend most of Saturday with them.  After Reagan's horseback riding lesson and Landon's soccer game, we met up with them at Six Flags.  We love spending time with this family.  No matter how many months have passed since we've seen each other the kids, as well as the parents, just pick up right where we left off!!  They are those kind of people!!

Sweet Ella wanted to ride as many rides with Shannon and I as she could!!  I was happy to accompany her here on the Mini-Mine Train.

 Everyone (although you can't see Reagan down there next to Shannon b/c of my big head, and you can't see Emmie because of Aaron!) on the mini-mine train.  We rode this one numerous times with varying seating arrangements.

 This was Reagan's first attempt at the Runnaway Mine Train (the "big mine train").  Right after this picture I asked her if she was ok.  Her response, "NO! I'm not ok!!"

But this was her response after her second time around!!! She has since asked if we can go back and let her ride this one again!  This girl is going to LOVE Disney World this summer!!

 Here Karen and Emmie (nice tongue) ride around with us one time.

A ride on the "real train" as we make our way to the other side of the park for one last ride before we head out - the Log Ride.  (I know it has a new name now, but it will forever be the Log Ride in my mind.  If you called it what it is really called now, no one would know what you were talking about!)

After we were sufficiently Log Rided out, everyone headed to our house for some Texas BBQ and conversation...and dress up for the girls...and some well needed solo time for Landon!!! 

I had promised Reagan a Dippin' Dots ice cream for being brave on the Runaway Mine Train while at Six Flags, and I totally forgot until we were leaving the park that evening.  So here on Sunday we headed to the mall...on a weekend...which in its self is proof of my love...for a Dippin' Dots and of course a ride on the carousel!!  This time she rode solo while I stood on the outside looking in.  She's growing up right in front of my eyes.