Grace officially started preschool last month, but the process to get her there started last September.
When Grace turned 3, she entered the world of preschool and IEPs. And here in NYC, it is not too far off from the college admissions process.
First, we had to qualify for special education and therapies. In NYC, this is done via a two-hour parent interview, a one-hour speech/feeding evaluation, a one-hour physical therapy and occupational therapy evaluation, a one-hour psychological evaluation and a school observation. After all these tests were done by people who don't know Grace, they were written up and submitted to the Department of Education. We then had a meeting with an administrator at the Department of Ed who read the reports, asked us questions and said "here is what your child is entitled to". The hope is that this administrator's idea of what your child needs matches yours and the school of your choice, or, at least, the school that chooses your child.
Our meeting was with a notorious administrator who I had heard about at prep meetings. She was known for being tough and marching to her own drum and not hearing parents. We must have caught her on a good day, or perhaps a few pics of The Gracer melted her heart, but she was quite reasonable, generous and helpful. She laid out Grace's first IEP, and it's a pretty good one. We didn't get everything we wanted but we got more than we anticipated. So we are grateful for the toughie.
Outside of the Department of Education process, there are the schools. We went on 5 parent tours. These were 1 1/2 - 2 hours long, usually in the middle of the workday, only for parents. We learned about handwriting methods, and singing/reading methods, and social methods, and how they are all superior and the best thing for our child. Oh, and how they only had a few spots for the upcoming school year.
After the tours were completed, we had to decide which schools we wanted to apply to. Which was silly really, because there are only 6 schools in all of Manhattan that easily accept a child with "multiple disabilities". If your child has autism, or a language problem, there are many schools to choose from, but if your child has trouble negotiating stairs ANDs nouns, your options are limited.
So we completed the applications, and we waited to be invited for a "play intake" which is in reality, an audition. So if Grace didn't get a nap that day, or the playdate was during the nap, or she was sick and not completely herself, she might not get in. And if Grace was Grace, and shining her heart as brightly as we know it can shine, she might not get in. All of our therapists and teachers warned us, "cast your net wide". "don't get your hopes up" etc.
And part of the time, we thought, this is dumb: It's PRESCHOOL. She will be tracing her hand and finger painting and singing songs and making friends. But then we read that the way that the brain processes things throughout life is greatly influenced by the experiences and guidance done during years 1-5. So we cared. And we hoped. And we cast the net as wide as 5 schools.
And leave it to Grace, she got into a very well-respected preschool. They are still getting to know our gal, but we know that she will blow them away!
More on her first days in a future post. For now, we need to catch up on getting Sadie into preschool - apparently we are already 2 years behind!
