Small and Simple Things

Last Friday the hospice nurse, and many of us, thought Mom wouldn't be with us Saturday. This morning she gave my little Jill a high five and smiled as she met her 18th grandbaby, Liam Mott, born at 6:40 on June 28th.

I have been in Texas longer than I ever expected, a bitter sweet miracle. Each day my mom gets weaker and more nauseous and I've run out of things to say to loving friends who ask how she is doing. The truth is too hard to put into words.

But as bitter as the bitter is, the sweet is oh so sweet. For the past two Sundays I've heard the sisters on my home ward share my mother's sweet final testimony of God's love in lessons and talks. Through her experience my mom has learned and testified the everyone who will listen that our Heavenly Father loves us more than we can comprehend. Though she's been sicker than I can imagine, and literally at deaths door, she still smiles with the knowledge of that love each time another visitor comes calling.

I've been asked more than once this past year how I can believe in a loving Heavenly Father when he is letting my mother suffer so much. It seems so cruel . . . you're right; it does seem cruel, but things are not always what they seem.

I know that we were sent to this earth to get bodies and gain experience. While we are here we will face trials and challenges of many different kinds that have the potential to strengthen us, if we let them. Some of our struggles are caused by our own poor choices; some of our challenges come from a loving Father who gives us experiences that will help us learn things like service and love and that will strengthen our faith when we strive to do our best. And then there are the challenges that come because we live in an imperfect world and have imperfect bodies.

Heavenly Father did not give my mom cancer. My mom got cancer because she is mortal and susceptible to the sicknesses and diseases of this imperfect world that we live in.

But Heavenly Father loves my mom so very much and has blessed her greatly during her fight and even now. Some of the ways Heavenly Father has blessed her may seem small and simple, but small and simple things can mean the world to a dying woman and her family. Here are just a few of our blessings over the past two years.

Living two years with an aggressive, incurable cancer; being able to see 6 new grandbabies, a son leave on a mission, your last daughter marry in the temple, and your last son graduate from high school and prepare for a mission when you only had "two weeks to a month to live."

Being well enough between treatments to travel and serve and support many friends and family members during happy and difficult times of their own.

Having loving neighbors and friends.

Having the help of three daughters living at home during the most difficult parts of treatment.

Not being able to smell. (That's my personal favorite)

There are more blessings, and many more to come. I'm very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who is mindful of us and blesses us during our trials. I'm grateful for a savior who loves us loves us enough to do what it took to understand our pain and suffering so he could comfort us perfectly.

This is life! We'll have trials until we die; we'll also have blessings if we care to look for them.

Home for a few days

My mom came home from the hospital on Hospice Care last Thursday. Because of her permanent chemo treatment port we've been able to give her pain and nausea medicine by IV every few hours around the clock. She has been unable to keep any food down for over a week, but is still with us and able to hold conversations. We feel very blessed.

Dear Friends

I know you all come here to find out what's going on in our lives. I love you all so very much for keeping up with us and praying for us during this hard time with Mom's cancer fight.

I just want to let you  know that the girls and I are flying down to Texas today on a one way ticket to say goodbye to Mom for the last time.

If my dad were writing this he would say something wonderful like, "The Gospel is true. We have a loving Heavenly Father who knows and loves us, and we know that Families are Forever."

Families ARE forever. I know this with every ounce of who I am, and I know that although Mom won't be here on earth with us much longer, she will be able to help us and love us in very surprising ways for many many years to come.

Love you all!!! I'll see you when I get back.

Secret Hide-out

All of the cupboards under our sinks are to remain empty at all times.
If I forget this new house rule, I have a little helper who will kindly clean everything out and place it on the floor for me.