Happy Halloween!

Every year I promise myself that I'm going to keep it simple and this year, I almost made it!  We never got around to putting up decorations (partially by design) and fortunately the kids chose fairly simple costume ideas.  Enzo wanted to be a pirate, which was easy since we already had one from Olivia's "Captain Jack Sparrow" costume from several years ago.  He was very excited to have a sword, a fact he felt the need to tell everyone he saw.  We also tried to put a red beard on him so he could be Redbeard the Pirate, but the make-up just rubbed off on his costume, so we had to wipe it off.  He was very concerned that people wouldn't know who he was without his beard.  I just told him to say, "I'm Redbeard the Pirate.  I shaved!"  He loved that and got a few good laughs!

 Ellie said she wanted to be a Hobo and I thought that sounded fun.  I wanted to make sure though, that it was more of a "My Fair Lady" style hobo and less of a "homeless person" look, as I thought that might be offensive.  Still, simple enough to throw together my jeans, t-shirt, and boots, a borrowed flannel shirt, one of Scott's ties, and some make-up to show beard stubble and a black tooth, but the icing on the top was Grandpa Larry's battered, old, top-hat, a relic from his days as "Dr. Quackenbush" and his Medicine Man show.  Ellie was a little nervous about using it because she didn't want anything to happen to it but she was very careful and it really made her costume great!

Here's where my simple Halloween plan stopped.  See, Olivia wanted to be a prisoner, but not just any prisoner, she wanted to be handcuffed to another prisoner, but again, not just any prisoner, a dead prisoner.  She had this idea to handcuff herself to a skeleton that she planned to dress in a striped costume, just like hers.  Well, I didn't like the prisoner costumes at the store, or the price they were asking, so I got her 2 pairs of black sweats, 2 black hats, and 2 rolls of white duct tape.  Scott picked up a "bag of bones" that he confidently told me we could wire together to build our own skeleton.  Trouble was, these bones consisted of a skull, 6 inches of vertebrae, 2 leg bones, 2 arm bones, 2 hands, 2 feet, and 2 ribs. ??!!  Olivia came to the rescue and found the perfect rectangle of cardboard we could use as a torso, and while she was busy putting white tape stripes on the black sweats, I broke out the drill, wire, and a coat hanger.  Okay, okay, it was actually kind of fun and when "Steve" was finally sitting up all by himself on the kitchen table, I had to chuckle with satisfaction.  Then when we got him dressed we laughed!  I don't know where these kids come up with their ideas but they have some pretty good ones!

We had a great time going around the neighborhood with some friends and Enzo hung in until almost the end and finally asked to be carried home.  All in all, it was a fun Halloween!

Swimmers take your mark...

Ellie finally got to compete in her first swim meet!  We were very excited because it was held at our home pool and, since she was already feeling nervous and uncertain, it helped her feel more comfortable.  It was so fun to make a fuss over her, making sure she got a good night's sleep and a healthy breakfast.  In the morning we left early, picked up "Aunt Elizabeth" got her all settled, while Scott followed with Olivia and Enzo.  I was pretty nervous too because I had no idea what to expect, but things couldn't have gone better.  It was a meet comprised of only children ages 10 and under, so there were lots of volunteers eager to help and make sure everyone got where they needed to go.  I turned her over to her very capable coaches and found a seat.  One of the little tricks I learned that I also found amusing, is that it is common practice to write the swimmer's event, heat, and lane on their forearm with a Sharpie!  I mean, it does makes sense, if you have a question as to where you should be and when, just show someone your arm!  And it doesn't come off in the water!

We were all so impressed by the smoothness and speed with which the meet was conducted.  No one missed their event, or swam in the wrong one and it was all over within a couple of hours.  I have to say, we feel very lucky to swim where we do.  The facility is only a couple of years old and when they built it, they thought of everything!  The bathrooms are huge and clean, there's bleacher seating above so you have a bird's-eye view of the pool, and they even have concession stands!  There's also a huge scoreboard that lists the swimmers by lane and posts their time half-way and at the finish.  I've heard other parents talk about pools in nearby towns and that there are some that are so bad that they choose to avoid meets held at certain pools!  I just wish they could have more meets at ours.

Ellie's biggest concern was being "DQ'd" because of a false start.  The coaches practiced with them the week leading up to the meet and I assured her that we would be proud of her no matter what.  She didn't get dq'd and I don't know that they would have anyway.  In fact, in one heat of boys, half of them dove in when they gave the get ready whistle and the judges couldn't get them to stop!  Poor boys got clear to the other side and had to get out, walk back, and do it all over again!  It was actually kind of funny.  I liked that everyone was mindful of the fact that this was a first meet for a lot of kids and they handled things accordingly.

Her coaches signed her up for the 50 Freestyle, 50 Backstroke, and the 50 Butterfly, and at the last minute they stuck her in a 25 Freestyle Relay to fill in for someone who couldn't make it.  She wasn't the fastest swimmer, in fact, she came in last in every heat she swam in, but her technique was refined.  I guess we need to work on good form, but faster!  Still, it was a good experience for her and a fun time for us.  We cheered her on and she said she could hear us!  Afterward, we spoiled her by buying her (just her!) a smokin' pair of sunglasses, Aunt Elizabeth got her a really cool Speedo swim watch, and she got to pick where we went for lunch, Cici's Pizza!  She kept saying what a great day it was and I loved getting the chance to make her feel like the special Little Sweetie that she is!

Here chickie, chickie!

For the last year, we have gotten together with 2 other home schooling families from our ward every Friday. Most of the time the kids just play and if the weather's nice, we'll go to a park. A couple of weeks ago, we went to a Fall carnival that was put on at a nursing home that is managed by the father of one of the families. The kids were excited by the prospect of games, prizes, and, cue the music, cotton candy!! We were not disappointed. There were prizes for everyone, snow cones, and of course, the cotton candy!  One of the highlights was a mobile petting zoo. Goats, turtles, chickens, rabbits, baby pigs, a llama, a pony, puppies, and best of all, baby chicks! The kids spent almost the entire time in the pen, chasing and catching and loving on all of those patient little critters. They even provided carrots and lettuce for us to feed to them. 

For some reason, Enzo decided he wanted to wear his cowboy boots and hat, and don't ask me why I only have one picture of Olivia.  One of our favorite animals was a super-soft white rabbit, the other was a chihuahua that I thought Ellie was going to try to smuggle home!  We all had a great time and the kids are still talking about it!

Today's going to be a good day!

Why?  Because I'm choosing to make it one!  This last week I found myself in a bit of a funk.  Not a major one like I'm prone to, but just enough to make me feel grumpy and short-tempered.  No matter what, I couldn't seem to focus on positive things and I couldn't remember why being a stay-at-home mom who home schools is something I enjoy!  So last night I did what I always do when I can't get my mind straight, I went to Scott and asked for a blessing.  I can't express how thankful I am that it is as simple as that and that I have a wonderful husband who is worthy of and willing to exercise the Priesthood he holds.  The blessing he gave me told me that although the Lord is always with me, and there when I need Him, sometimes He leaves me to myself to find my own way, in this case, to create joy for myself.  I am so often blessed with little moments of pure joy as I watch my children play or learn something new, or any number of small daily things, however, I was prompted to know that those are gifts from the Lord and I am capable of choosing to create those moments myself, not just enjoy them when they are given.  I need to choose to be happy in all my responsibilities as a wife and mother and that will help create those joyful moments.  I was also reminded that each day I am home with my children is a success.  They won't need me every moment, but in those moments that they do, I'll be here!

*I actually wrote this October 17th, but I didn't get to finish it, I think because one of my children needed something! ;)  I decided not to finish it and just post it as it is. 

"Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy..."

"...Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed he Sabbath day, and hallowed it." (Exodus 20:8-11) 

This is something that I have really gained a testimony of the last few months.  When Toby was first offered to us, our biggest concern was the monthly costs that go along with horse ownership, primarily, boarding.  Olivia had already been offered the opportunity to clean stalls 2 days a week to pay for her lessons, and we were given an opportunity that would pay the cost of boarding: feed all 30 horses, morning and afternoon, one day a week.  Sunday.  Of course it was a difficult decision to make and we prayed hard about it.  In the end, we felt that it would be okay.  We committed to feeding morning and afternoon, which also included cleaning 15-17 stalls, and resolved that we would not allow it to interfere with our Sunday worship.  We would complete our work, be on time for church, fast on Fast Sundays, we would never ride on Sunday, and we would continue to fulfill our callings to the best of our ability and I'm pleased to say, we did it!  We were late the first 2 weeks and felt terrible, so we got up earlier and moved stall cleaning to the afternoon.  We were able to fast, praying for the energy to complete our work, and were blessed accordingly.

But, there were problems.  Despite our best efforts, we were tired and that made it difficult to stay alert and attentive, and participate in our classes.  The afternoon feeding required that Olivia and I spend 2 1/2 to 3 hours at the barn in the afternoon, taking precious time that could have been spent with our family or in service.  Most of all, we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and as such we have covenanted to keep the commandments and take His name upon us, which means we will be examples of what the Lord would have us do.  By working on Sunday, for something that was not essential to the support or welfare of our family, I quickly came to feel that we were not justified in this endeavor and we were not setting the example that we should.  I still think that the answer I received was correct, but I think it was so that we could learn from this and gain a testimony of the importance of keeping the Sabbath holy.

For the last month we've talked and dreamed about how wonderful it would be if we didn't have to feed anymore.  I come home each Sunday evening and collapse in relief at the knowledge that I won't have to do it again for a whole week.  It wasn't that I was afraid of the hard work, in a way, it feels good.  But I think my spirit was reviling at what it knew to be a violation of a very important commandment.  I came to learn that taking a day to rest from our daily labors truly does revive and refresh our spirits and helps us draw closer to Heavenly Father.  I have felt more tired, less patient, and more quickly discouraged these last few months, and home schooling has been harder this year.  I know it is because I did not have that day to rest and devote to spiritual things.  When I discussed my feelings with Olivia, I was pleased to learn that she felt the same way about her ability to focus at church and her guilt at not setting the right example. 

This last week, we decided to pray to know if we should stop feeding and trust that it would all work out.  Our answer came on Sunday when Scott was extended a new calling.  He was called to serve as the First Counselor in the Elders' Quorum Presidency.  It wasn't a huge difference from his previous calling as Second Counselor, but it felt different.  He felt a wonderful desire to work and serve more and be a greater support to the President.  In addition, he was given a wonderful blessing that set our minds at ease and brought the reassurance we had been seeking.  The final straw for me came when he told me that the new President had asked if they could meet that afternoon and he had to say no, because we were feeding.  I knew then that feeding would interfere with his ability to serve in his calling and that we needed to stop.  We both felt the need to act of faith and try the Lord in this and we know that everything will work out for the best. 

Beth was very understanding when I told her that we needed to stop and I felt a huge sense of relief.  Now I'm so excited for Sunday!  I don't know that I've ever felt quite this eager to associate with my brothers and sisters and be spiritually fed.  My prayer is that I won't forget this feeling and fall back into complacent Sunday behavior.  I want to use this to teach and testify to my children of the importance of keeping the Sabbath day holy and treating it like the special day that it is.  I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to learn this gentle yet, oh so important lesson. 

Art 101

I am determined to fit Art and Music into our curriculum this year.  We were a little patchy about it last year but now, I have a plan!  Actually, it was my mom's idea, but it's a good one! We will focus on one artist or composer each week, alternating between art and music.  On Monday we will read about the life and contributions of the person we chose to study and then each day we will either listen to music by that composer or try our hand at the style of art by that artist.

Yesterday, the girls wanted to start with an artist, so I chose Monet.  After we read all about his life and the start of Impressionism, the girls couldn't wait to paint!  We decided to choose one of Monet's paintings (Nympheas c.1916) to try and duplicate. I  joined in the fun too but the best part was to see their interpretations of what they saw.  Ellie had a great time layering colors and Olivia decided to paint her own impression of water lilies from her head.  But they didn't stop there.  Then Olivia wanted to paint the same thing but with her fingers and Ellie went outside to get her own impression of something new to paint.  After Enzo finished his quiet time, he of course wanted to paint too.  It was such a pleasant afternoon.  Everyone sitting around the table, happily creating, with music to inspire us playing in the background.  3 hours later, I had to be the bad guy and make them clean up because it was time for dinner.  But today, the fun continues with Ellie and Enzo back at the table painting again! 

Happy Artists

Ellie's second creation

Enzo

Olivia's "Nympheas"

Ellie's "Impression" and "Nympheas"

Enzo's "Houses"

One of the reasons I love homeschooling is because of opportunities like this. The chance to let them learn something new and then keep going, without time restrictions.   Plus it's fun for me too!  It may not be good but it sure is fun! 

My "Nympheas"

Friday Night

Friday night we loaded up the cooler and the kids and headed out to watch Olivia and Toby run at the last Playday of the season.  We've been to the previous 3 and it's always a great family night.  The difference last night was that I got a chance to run Toby too! It's been hard sitting in the stands watching her have all the fun, and since I've been able to ride quite a bit in the last couple months, I wanted to give it a try.  Well, I certainly wasn't the fastest person out there, in fact, in a couple of events I was the slowest.  BUT, I had Toby running through every pattern and I didn't fall off or knock anything over!  Toby was such a trooper and once again amazed us all at what a wonderful pony he is.  Olivia and I had to use different saddles which resulted in me re-saddling him 9 times throughout the night and each time he bore it so patiently!  Even when at the end, after running 7 different times, and I know he was tired and ready to be done, he gave everything he had.  Olivia placed in 2 events and I actually brought home a couple of ribbons, but that's only because there were 6 riders in my age group and they award first through fifth places.  I had a great time and I was surprised at how much of the riding skills I developed in my teens came back to me.  Of course, I rode primarily English, and this was Western, barrels no less, and a whole new ballgame.  I'm looking forward to riding more so that perhaps, if I run in a Playday next year, I might be able to run a little faster!

Olivia and Toby running Quarter Poles

Olivia running Toby out

My Cupid run

My Barrel run

Me and my girl with Toby

Toby, Paris, Olivia, Ellie, and Me

Enzo helping get Toby ready

Part of our cheering section**

Sadly, though the evening seemed ideal, it took a downward turn.  It was after 1 am when we got back to the barn and unloaded the horses.  There were still lots of people there, some working, some just chatting, and some, like Olivia, were helping turn the geldings out for the night.  I was walking from the back of the barn toward the front when I saw a group quickly forming at the far end.  I heard "She's hurt" so I began to walk quicker and called out "Who?".  The response could not have been worse: "It's Olivia."  I broke into a run shouting "What happened?!" and I was told she had been kicked by one of the horses.  As I finally reached the two other moms that were holding her up, I asked where and was told she had been kicked in the stomach. I took one look at the panic stare in her eyes, the paleness of her lips, and her gasps for breath, and I ran for Scott.  I knew he could do more for her than I could, give her a blessing or carry her out if need be, and I knew I could find him the fastest in the dark.  I still question if I did the right thing or if I should have stayed with her.  By the time we made it back to the barn, she was breathing normally and some of the color was back in her lips.  She put on her bravest face and insisted she was okay.  Scott expertly checked her arm, which had also been kicked, for breaks and her tummy for any indication of injury.  She seemed to be fine so we took her home and watched her closely.  It wasn't until we reached the door to the house and I asked her if it scared her that she finally broke down and cried.  It still brings tears to my eyes.  I find myself thinking "If anything like this happens again... No.  I'm not going to wait for a next time."  I am haunted by the thoughts of what could have happened had she been kicked just a little bit higher.  I have always loved horses and riding, and I love watching her with Toby, but I love my baby girl more. If it wasn't for her sweet Toby, I would want to just walk away from the whole thing.  Call me a coward, but it will be a long time before I'll forget the shocked look in her eyes and the sound of her gasping.  I know I should probably take a few days and calm down before making any rash decisions.  The only comfort I have right now is in the blessing that Scott gave her.  I am so thankful to have the Priesthood in my home and for a worthy husband that is willing to bless us with that heavenly power.  Because of that, I know she'll be okay.  No one actually saw it happen and she doesn't remember much except the pain and then landing on the ground.  She said she was back pretty far from the horse and it appears that she was far enough away to get the weakest blow possible and her arm protected her stomach from the worst of it.   Her tummy is still sore and she has a nasty bump on her arm and wrist, but we are still watching her closely and checking her tummy every couple hours.  Thankfully she is continuing to improve.


*I wrote this Saturday night when my feelings were still very raw. Going to church today and feeling the Spirit there, spending time with my family, and forcing myself to go to the barn today even though I was dreading it, all helped me feel better. I am replacing the fear and thoughts of what could have been with thoughts of gratitude and peace. I know that Heavenly Father watches over us. It's funny, I had prayed many times throughout the week leading up to this, especially on Friday, that we would be kept safe and neither of us would get hurt. I was thinking primarily of myself, seeing as I was the most likely to fall off or something, but I now know that those prayers benefited Olivia and I am so thankful for that. Olivia is doing very well. Still has a sore tummy but it continues to improve, and the swelling on her arm looks better too.



**A special "Thank You!" to our dear friend Elizabeth for taking all these wonderful pictures for us!

Shake it off, just shake it off

Do you ever have days when it seems like you get nothing done?  And not because of some force of nature, or force of child, or something else beyond your control, but purely of your own volition?  Today was one of those days.
 
I have a running to-do list that keeps getting longer and longer.  Some of the items on that list, I am embarrassed to say, have been on there since January (*cough* dentist appointments *cough*) and for some reason I just can't bring myself to get them done!  Most of them are phone calls and inquiries I need to make and there are few things I hate more than making phone calls.  It can take what seems like hours to accomplish very little, usually just getting answers to one or two questions.  Maybe it's been the unbearably hot summer we just suffered that has sapped any motivation I might have had to do little more than shower, get dressed, and pour cereal or make sandwiches for my kids, if even that!

So back to today.  Today, I glanced at my mental to-do list and immediately started walking in circles.  At least, that's how it feels.  It means I do a lot of pacing from room to room, not really doing much.  I may pick up and put a few things away but nothing significant.  In the end, I really cannot account for most of my day. I know I sort of started on one or two items on my list, but things weren't going well and when I circle, I am easily discouraged.  And for some reason it's harder than normal to shake it off, so I circle faster.  Still, everyone got 3 meals and even a snack, the kids were home schooled, and Olivia made it to the barn on time.  I also did one or two loads of laundry, I think.  I'm not really sure because when I'm overwhelmed by my mental to-do list, the blinders go up and I'm not really aware of what I'm doing or the blazing passage of time.  I just keep glancing at my mental to-do list and circle. 

Usually the solution to my circling is to write down said list.  For some reason, getting it out of my head makes it seem smaller.  A little trick I like to play on myself is to include some things that I've already accomplished, just so I can immediately check a few things off.  Gets the ball rolling, I think.

Perhaps there's a reason why I feel especially guilty for my wasted day.  On Sunday, Sally gave a wonderful lesson on Time Management.  But here's the thing, she started by saying, there's really no such thing as Time Management, what it really is, is Self Management.  Ouch.  That one punched me right in the nose, because when I circle, I loose all ability to self manage. Some of the things she talked about, I feel I'm good at, like throwing away junk mail and deleting junk emails. I feel like I can manage phone calls pretty well too.  But she mentioned a few things that really struck me. 

First of all, a myth.  We can't save or make-up time.  We get 24 hours each day and we can't borrow or carry over any of it.  Another point she made is that we are all given the same 24 hours every day.  So why does it seem so often like other people can accomplish so much more than me in that 24 hours.  Apparently, the key is self management.  She said we should ask ourselves "When I get into bed tonight, what do I want my results to be?"  That is a question I most definitely should have asked myself this morning, and probably several times throughout the day.
Of course, "Don't Procrastinate" was on her list of suggestions, but there was also a fabulous list of "Do's".  Do make time for creativity and keep a list of things to do for fun.  And do make time to eat, sleep, exercise, and laugh.  Eating and sleeping have never been a problem for me.  Laughing comes pretty readily at our house most days too.  However, the exercise and creativity ones, I'm not consistent on.  Now that the temperature is cooling off, I'm hoping to start running again.  I'm also hoping I can ride out at the barn with Olivia more often, and there's even talk of a homeschooling swim group that will have space for adults that I'm excited to try out.  As for the creativity one, does this count?  If not, there's always coloring with Enzo. 

The good news is, I think I've been able to shake off today so I can start again tomorrow.  Hopefully I'll be able to walk in a straight line and check off a few things on my list so I can feel good about my day when it's done.  I think I'll go get that list out of my head right now and I even know what I'm going to write on there that I can already check off; yesterday, I made an appointment to get my haircut.  Check!

I think they're pretty great!

Knowing that I get to write everyday has made me quicker to pull out my camera to capture some of the little moments.  Here are a few from today:


I saw an awesome video of  The Piano Guys that my sister-in-law Jen posted on Facebook and we spent about a half hour watching all the videos of them we could find.  Enzo's always been my music man and he loved it!

I love homeschooling!  Two years ago, my kids were usually too tired and cranky to deal with each other nicely.  Now they actually play with and enjoy each other!  It's wonderful!

Homeschooling is another topic that is dear to my heart.  It has been one of the biggest blessings in our family.  It is also a huge responsibility, knowing I alone am responsible for my kids' educations, but it's great because it makes me responsible for my kids' education!  Enzo is already excited about it and asks to do homeschooling almost every day.  His latest discovery is coloring and drawing so today we drew pictures of ourselves and here is his!  He saw me draw a circle head on my paper and then he was off! Orange has long been his favorite color (ironic since that is the color of his hair!) so I wasn't surprised when he took the orange crayon away from me to use for his picture. 

 His description is "Me saying 'Hellooo!' And there's a tree!" 

 I have to say, knowing exactly what my kids are learning has made me much more relaxed and confident. I love being able to grasp every learning moment I have found them much more eager to learn from me than they were before.

 Ellie just started swimming in April and she's really enjoying it.  While her technique isn't perfect, she gives it everything she's got.  Today they were doing relays, it was the end of practice and she was very obviously tired, but she didn't quit!  She didn't even slow down to conserve her strength.  She pushed all the way to the end and I told her how proud that made me.  She was very excited when she advanced 2 swim groups this season and told me she was looking forward to the challenge and that she liked being pushed to do better.  Am I proud? You bet I am!

(She's the pink speck in the second lane!)

Scott has been on a handyman roll lately.  His skills have expanded to include roof repair, car repair, Nintendo DS repair, and sprinkler repair.  This week, he's taken a fancy to soldering.  Yesterday he fixed Enzo's electric helicopter and tonight he fixed my hair dryer that had stopped heating.  I'm not sure if he likes the process or the satisfaction that something that wasn't working before is back in business.  I'm inclined to think it's the process.  Oh, and the tools!  Always the tools!!

Yeah, they are pretty great! 

A word about the title and a few ground rules...

Whew!  This is harder than I thought! I have started, deleted, and started again at least 4 times.  Choosing the title for a blog seems to be one of the funnest, but most difficult parts of starting a blog.  I settled on this one because it seems to fit our situation.  Just working to keep it all together; our family, our busy schedules, a well-balanced life, my sanity, and now through this blog, my thoughts, and our photos and memories.  This is primarily for me and for posterity, with the added bonus that our family and friends can keep up with our happenings in greater detail than Facebook can offer. 
I like structure, rules, and organization (I also like to throw it all out the window and stay in my jammies all day, watching movies and "Star Trek Voyager" episodes with my kids, and eat popcorn for dinner!) so I want to set a tone from the beginning.  That way if I ever veer to the dark side, I can refer back to this post and why I'm doing this.
First, I want to stay optimistic.  I don't ever want to resort to husband or children bashing, or pity parties, but at the same time I want to keep it real.  If this is going to be a record of our lives, that means there will be challenges.  Still, I'd like to focus mostly on the positive. 
Second, I don't want to write to an audience.  While I am aware that others may read this, I will try to forget about that and write for me and my posterity.
Third, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and that is the reason I do everything I do.  I imagine my feelings about the church and the gospel will be prominent features in my posts. 
That's all I can think of right now.  I hope this serves as an accurate record of our family, flexes my brain a little bit, and that whoever reads this finds it uplifting, entertaining, and encouraging.  I know I'm looking forward to it!