Do realtors play Monopoly?

Online banner ad:  "Get a car with bad credit"

Why would I want to purchase a car that has bad credit?

Sign in front of a convenience store ; "89 cents small hot coffee".  I wonder how much they charge for lukewarm coffee?  Room temperature coffee?

Herb Seasoned Stuffing: Cubed White Bread Blended with Select Herbs and Spices.

 Who selected them and how were they selected?

A Corolla with a spoiler.

Oxymoron?  Or just wishful thinking?

I saw a pickup today that was made by Lincoln. Aren't they a luxury car maker? When did pickups become luxury vehicles?

The Tufted Titmouse feeds while hanging upside down.  How do they swallow "up"?

Two rabbits have moved into my backyard.  We all know that means there will soon be way more than two rabbits.  Which led me to wonder:

If humans use rabbits to confirm pregnancy, what do rabbits use?

The Shake of the Month at my gym is Tropical Blossom.

It's made with strawberries.

Since when did strawberries become a tropical fruit?

Sign on a two story building:

RENT THREE FLOORS

Advertisement at a strip mall:  SALT

Stores in the strip mall:  AT&T, Footlocker and Beauty Supply.

I wonder which one is selling the salt?

After the big blizzard, all of the main highways were plowed but none of the exits had been plowed.

Why bother plowing a road if drivers can't get on it or off of it?

The vet wants to do a urine test on my cat.

How do you get a cat to pee in a cup?

I saw a guy at the gym today lifting weights with one hand and talking on his cellphone with the other.  I couldn't help wondering what was so incredibly important that it couldn't wait until after his workout.

Sign on a local pet store:

LIVE BAIT!

Is it just me or is that deeply disturbing?

I work out at a gym three times a week. 

So why is it that I always try to park as close to the store as possible even if it means squeezing into spaces so tight that I can barely get my car door open?

Sign on a truck:

RELIABLE TIRE CO.

As opposed to unreliable tires?

Sign at a local nursery:

FRUIT TREES ARE IN

In what?

Subject line on an email:  Keep Cool with Frozen Hot Chocolate.

How can it be frozen and hot at the same time?

I bought a package of Hebrew National hot dogs.  It has 7 hot dogs in it.  Are odd numbers part of Kosher cuisine?

I saw a woman on a bike pulling into a yard sale.  How did she think she was going to carry her purchases home?

There's a woman at the gym who wears a sports bra over a regular bra.  Kinda like wearing a belt and suspenders.

I was watching an eagle cam today and a popup ad appeared suggesting I search for "used eagle".

What's a "used eagle" and why would I want to search for one?

Why is it called a greenhouse if it's not green?

Cats always land on feet, toast lands butter side down. What if you strap buttered toast to a cat?

I'm reading a cookbook from 1896.

Recipe:  Turtlehead Soup

First Ingredient:  1 Calf's Head

Huh?

I don't understand the controversy surrounding Tiger Woods' apology.  He is obviously in a 12-step program and this is the step where he has to make amends to all the people he has hurt.

Which is basically everybody.

What's wrong with this picture?

Today is Ladies Day at the car wash, $2 off.  Ten customers in line.  Nine men and me.

I went to the grocery store to buy ground pork today.  There was none but they had lots of ground veal.  Why is it okay to sell the meat of baby cows but not the meat of adult pigs?

Times Square bills itself as "The Crossroads of the World" so why is the new New Year's Ball made up of crystals in the shape of Celtic knots, the symbol of a single, small, ethnic group?

Have you tried to buy cheese lately? Almost all of it is low-fat. Besides not tasting right, it doesn’t cook right. Really nasty stuff.


My fellow Americans, please eat less and exercise more so that we put this low-fat nonsense behind us.