"Goodnight Boys"

The last two and half years Mark and I have sung the boys to sleep each night. Eye roll. We sleep trained when Torin was a baby but when the boys began sharing a room and Torin moved into a big boy (twin) bed he became a Jack in the Box. Not wanting to be the goody-goody, soon they were both up and down from bed for a good hour after saying goodnight. Frustration and sometimes yelling ensued. After a month of  nighttime battles, we decided to not to pick that one, and chose peace for everyone. We began staying in the room until they were asleep. Our nighttime routine is to get jammies on, have a night snack (normally some fruit), brush teeth, (honestly sometimes the night snack comes after brushing teeth...shame on us), two books, singing to sleep. Usually the boys are so tired they fall asleep within 10 sometimes 20 minutes. At first it was frustrating and felt like we were giving in,  like we were taking a giant step back since the boys had been falling asleep on their own for a year.

Over time though, this ritual became much less of a chore, and something so special. For nearly 1,000 nights, we laid next to our boys while they dropped off to sleep. I heard their breath go from shallow to deep. I watch their eyes flutter and then close. I listen to a myriad of "just before I fall asleep" questions. I normally sing 5-6 songs (sometimes 10!), and have become quite good at my repertoire. Their favorites are Amazing Grace, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Twinkle Twinkle, Jesus Loves Me and Nigh-Night Ashen/Torin (my made up last song).

This summer brought a shift in the wind and it came sweeping in this week. In June, Ashen began staying up after I finished singing. He asked every night as I tiptoed out the door, "Mom, would you leave the door ajar?" "Yes, honey," I answered. "All night, mom?" "Sure. Nigh-Night." And then he'd drift off to sleep without a problem. He even started saying, "Mom, I don't need you to sing me to sleep. How about just 2 or 3 songs?" In the last two weeks, Torin became more and more restless at bedtime. He wouldn't fall asleep during songs. He said the fan and the sound machine were keeping him awake. Then we stayed at a home with a bunch of other boys who went to sleep without their parents. It inspired both of my boys. When we returned on Wednesday they both said that they could go to sleep without me singing them to sleep. And they did.

Like any milestone of growing up/independence, it is so bittersweet to me as their mom. I grew to really love singing my boys to sleep. As much as I appreciate the extra time in the evenings to just be, I know that my boys will never want me to sing them to sleep again. That era is over. In the midst of it, I never thought it would end--though I knew I wouldn't be singing my college aged sons to sleep.

One thing I've grown to truly believe in and enjoy is a transition is natural and not forced or premature. Kids' timelines are not our own. They are each ready for different phases of independence at different times. Sometimes it's earlier than we want/expect and sometimes it's later. I wish I had known when I became a mother that those are things I can't control (very well, at least!).

My new normal is to say, "Goodnight Boys, I love you." (and then a string of things about not getting out of bed until 6:30am, because old habits die hard!).

Birthday Angels

Sharing his snow cone.

Tuesday  I celebrated my 34th birthday. We continued my childhood tradition of watching the Blue Angels airshow on my birthday weekend. I love that my kids eagerly anticipate this day and associate it with my birthday--there is something reassuring about traditions.

I was spoiled on my birthday. I planned to take the day off of work, but our nanny wanted to work that morning--oh, well, I guess I'll have to do something by myself :-) I got my haircut and went out for crepes with my mom. Lovely.

That evening, Mark took me out to a very hip restaurant that serves thali. It was an unusual and delicious meal. I love every minute I get to spend alone with my man. How can you resist looking across the table at this guy?

He graciously had the stone I bought in the Dominican Republic 8 years ago reset--he gave it to me at dinner. (ThanksM & D too!).

With the reality of mortality so fresh this year, celebrating anothe birthday felt very special. I am grateful to be growing older, healthfully. Each day it truly a gift, and I plan to make the most of it!

Remembering Kenya

I recently came across a few old picture folders on my computer from over 10 years ago. Pictures of young people who impressed my life more than they'll ever know came to life on the screen in front me. Memories revived. The summer between sophomore and junior year of college, then year after college I spent working with them in Nairobi, is a time that I always come back to as a pivotal shift in the course of my life. My career, my children, many of my personal choices about our finances and lifestyle stem from the relationships I made with these beautiful children.  All of these kids are young adults now, so many of them making amazing contributions to Kenyan society. It thrills me to stay in touch with them by Facebook and email, and I recently took some time to send photos to a couple of them to help fill in visual gaps of their history. I hope I can spend more time putting photos together for the rest of them.

I long to see them again. I was last in Kenya in 2006, and it's been far too long. I wish I had more time to write because I'd love to share some stories from my time there. Instead I'll leave you with some photos and a sweet email.

The little girl below in the blue dress is Jayne. She's one I recently sent photos to. I got this email response today:

"Wow thanks a million... am surprised! I was that tiny?

Truly may God forever bless you all for you ever did for us!

Am grateful for everything. I just cleared high last year am about to join university.

Am 19 now...

lots of love and gratitude!

Be blessed!"
 

 

 

Summer is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Methow Valley Retreat

Last fall we were invited by some friends to stay in their beautiful vacation home in the Methow Valley for a week. We jumped at the chance. We decided on the dates last fall, long before cancer was on our radar, and the timing couldn't have been better. The last week of June we spent basking in the most beautiful landscape I've ever laid eyes on. There are only two other places that have similarly spoken to me (for very different reasons): Utila, Honduras and Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. It is a gift to have an experience with a place like this. The whole week we were there, I could not help but hope we might be invited back some day. We even looked up some real estate when we were there, dreaming of living there either part-time or full-time some day. It was truly love at first sight.

The circumstances were perfect. It was the first week Mark was feeling 100% health-wise, which made our new normal more wonderful. We didn't bring any of the kids toys along, other than a soccer ball and bat/ball.  We wanted the kids to find their own entertainment in the outdoors and with each other. Mark and I are big believers in simplicity, though we have a difficult time practicing it in our urban lifestyle, but rural life seems to lend itself so easily to simplicity. We loved it.

We took walks each day down the 1/2 mile driveway, seeing deer and various birds and bugs. Mark and I even took several runs during the week--the land seemed to beckon you out to explore it.


We went on two hikes. This hike was our first, and the photo was taken long before we realized we were on a MUCH longer loop than we planned. We were forced to scale a steep hillside and trailblazed our way back to civilization, much to our younger two's dismay.

The home and 180 degree view of the valley were breathtaking. Their home was designed to bring the outdoors in. The living room had four doors to the outside and windows on all sides. We we so spoiled with such a special home to relax and recharge in.


The view from the patio

We spent time lounging and reading.

 

Later in the week, Mark's side of the family joined us. The kids no longer had to entertain themselves with so many willing adults (especially grandma) to fill that role (toys included).

The town 2 miles away is so fun, with an amazing ice cream shop--and in a Western theme. Exhibit A:

The kids enjoyed taking LOADS of photos of each other. Here are a few, obviously taken by Ashen:

 

 

We took Mark's family up to our hiking spot and made sure to take a defined shorter loop. It was perfect, other than poor Bereket's scraped knee.

Finally, we spent an afternoon at the public pool in nearby Twisp. Such a great spot to cool off.

Fortunately, we were invited back by our most generous hosts and definitely plan to take them up on it. I can't think of a better vacation our family has ever taken--and how perfect that it requires no air travel!

Painting with Preschoolers

Many cringe with a subject like this, but for some reason I'm wired to embrace these types of adventures. Sure, we should have prepped better with dropped cloths (!), but all in all it was a successful transformation of our living room--a family transformation. The tiny rollers are a brilliant way to include preschoolers without a huge mess (Mark was following the boys with a wet cloth all afternoon). We love our new lighter living room, but we haven't quite gotten to the ceiling.

 

Pool Time (Park 4 of 4)

When the crowds and heat were too much at Disneyland, we headed back to the hotel to play in the pool. One afternoon we were there for 4 hours.



I sat and read a book. Bliss.

Note to self: next time let's go to a pool and skip the theme parks! :-)

 

Disneyland! (Part 3 of 4)

Disneyland morning finally arrived! The picture below captures everyones mood quite well.



Unfortunately, someone wasn't a very happy camper. Could it have been that somebody was missing their normal naps?

Somebody else was tired of walking soon after we got there! I underestimated the need for a double stroller. We were switching kids in and out of the single the whole time. I wished it was big enough for me at times!

After Thunder Mountain Railroad (where we used a rider switch and fast pass to allow Mark, Ashen,Torin and me to all take turns going) we hit up our next favorite: Autopia! I thought these series of photos capture the passage of time well:
2012

2010
 

2012

2010

We (he) must have driven cars 10 times.

Bereket was set on meeting the princesses after I offered her the idea as a consolation to all of the cars we'd been driving and her not-so-good mood. I ate my words when I realized the line was an hour long. She prevailed and was smitten by the ladies--even though she has not seen the movies and really knows nothing about princesses. Is it in her DNA?

As someone that is somewhat stranger-shy, I was shocked to see how easily she hugged the princesses. There was awe in her eyes. Yikes! :-)

She was really into meeting characters too. More so than either of the boys (Torin was not intersted at all ).


THe boys were thrilled to be chosen for Jedi Training. The highlight was fighting Darth Vader in front of an audience. I have a great video of them fighting him...I'll upload it if I find time.

The boys favorite ride was (surprise!) Star Tours. This was my first and only time. Mark when with each of them 5+ times. It's a 3D ride that makes you feel like you're flying through space on 3CPO's shuttle. I am easily motion sick, so this was not my favorite.

Vacations call for gigantic lollipops. Enough said.

Though the trip didn't allow Mark and me a lot of alone time (actually practically none!) it was sure nice to spend 5 days together. He was still recovering from chemo and not at full energy, but he made the most of it and was a trooper.

These three are a delight. We only spent 6+ hours a day at the park because they were too tired, but we enjoyed the time with them exploring new places. Life is an adventure, and we don't want to miss out!