Being a big movie freak, I always look forward to the Oscars. So here in bullet-point style I present my thoughts on this yearâs telecast.
* Ellen DeGeneres â
meh. I have nothing against Ellen, she can be very funny. I just thought she
wasnât funny enough for this. She seemed kind of nervous maybe. Let her host the
Emmys. There were a couple of good bits â the vacuum cleaner comes to mind â but overall she was kind of bland. I much prefer the more sarcastic take of Chris Rock or Jon Stewart. Billy Crystal always did a good job too. Hell, I even like
Whoopi. And did you notice Ellenâs girlfriend in the audience? Love the Portia.
* I loved the bit with Will Ferrell, Jack Black, and John C. Reilly. Although Black and Ferrell did something very similar before, bringing in Reilly kicked it up a notch. And was that Will Ferrellâs real hair, or was that for a role? This is the way to showcase
JB to best effect â keep it short.
* The sound effects choir â Kind of cool, but boy did those people look weird making those noises. Can you really make a living making stupid noises like that?
* The dancers? Making the shapes? Kind of cool but more weird.
* I would like to nominate Jessica
Bielâs boobs for something. But it wonât have anything to do with the word âsupportingâ.
* Did you notice that Abigail
Breslin had her stuffed Curious George with her?
Aww.
* Man I hope that Jack Nicholson look is for a movie. Scary!
* Chris
Connelly sucked.
* Celine Dion? Bathroom break.
* So Mr. âAcademy award winning screenwriterâ Ben
Affleck, whereâs that second screenplay? Nine years
wasnât enough time for ya? You know, you being such a well-known writer and all. And seriously, they
couldnât find a real screenwriter to introduce the segment paying tribute to screenwriters? Whatever.
* I love that Wes Anderson commercial, but is that the same one they showed last year? I canât remember last yearâs so Iâm really not sure, but I remember there was one. Eh, Iâm too lazy to research this.
* Apparently Bill
Condon, the director of
Dreamgirls, is a âgenusâ. Thatâs pretty impressive, skipping right over the obvious species route and going straight for your own genus. Way to go Bill!
* Was Eddie Murphy crying, or does he just have really watery eyes? Every time they showed a closeup of him his eyes looked filled with tears. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm just
askin'.
* Hey, Clint Eastwood, could you have mailed in your
Morricone intro any more than you did? He did say at the end that he should have worn his glasses, and maybe that's what it was. If so, quit
tryin' to look macho and wear your damn glasses!
C'mon!
* Panâs Labyrinth not even winning Best Foreign Film is shite. In fact itâs a big
olâ shite sandwich, with horseradish.
* That would have been so great if
Borat would have won best adapted screenplay. I still donât understand exactly how that movie had a screenplay ( I guess to set up the segments - â
Borat walks into an antique shopâ), but it still would have been funny. At least we got to hear Helen
Mirren say â
Borat: Cultural
Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of
Khazakhstan.â
* Seeing Robert Altman in the memorial segment made me remember that I mentioned that when A Prairie Home Companion came out on video I was going to watch it. Well, I did, and I thought it was really good. Itâs kind of a meditation on mortality, made all the more poignant because it turned out to be his last film. I enjoyed it, and this is coming from someone who canât stand the radio show.
* Iâm glad Forest Whitaker won, Iâ
ve always liked his work.
* Having seen all of the Best Picture nominees, I think they were all fine movies. If I had to vote between those 5, I would have voted for Babel, although Iâm cool with The Departed winning too. But to me it kind of seems like one of those âcareer achievementâ type deals because The Departed is no
Goodfellas or Raging Bull. I liked Panâs Labyrinth the best of all the 2006 movies I saw, although it was ineligible for Best Picture since it was foreign-funded. A lot of people thought United 93 was the best movie of 2006, but I havenât seen that yet. I also heard that Children of Men was very good â Iâm waiting on the DVD since it comes out next month. Despite the fact that it seems lightweight, I thought
Borat was an excellent movie. But overall Iâm glad Scorsese finally won.
You all didn't think I was going to do birthdays after all that, did you? Well, you didn't think wrong (huh?).
Today's birthdays are brought to you by
The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation:
Labels: Movies, Television
