Why I love Motherhood

Everything's Sweeter with FOUR!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how Facebook is filled with jokes about children and motherhood.  Everyday friends who are wonderful mothers, who love motherhood, share memes about how ridiculously hard and awful motherhood can be.  I'm guilty of it, just read my last post (from 2 years ago ya I'm a great blogger).  It's fun to laugh at how hard life as a mom can be.  But this morning I started thinking about what kind of a message are we sending to woman around the world who are not yet mothers.

Why on earth would I want to be a mother if every mom I knew consistently talked about how frustrating it is; about how exhausting it is and how it has changed their life forever in the negative.  Think about the last baby shower you went to. Eventually the conversation turns to how horrible your birth story was. And as women, who love to share, we explain "well you think that's bad..." as we continue to one up each other with our horrible stories.  Who would want to get pregnant after that?

But the second problem is, how can we share about motherhood with out bragging or appearing stepfordish? "Hi everyone I love being a mom because I have a perfect family and my home is always clean and my life is always wonderful." Please that is so far from the truth no matter who you are.  So, here's my attempt to express why motherhood is amazing to me in a real way.

1. Motherhood does change your life.  It makes you a better woman.  I thought I understood love, patience, forgiveness, service, compassion, and self control before motherhood.  I'm sure what I have learned in the past 8 years as a mom is nothing compared to what I'll know after years with teenagers, married children, and grandchildren

2. I love being part of the future.  If you want to be remembered for generations and make a difference in the world, then become a mother.  It is so rewarding to see your daughter show qualities of faith, honesty, and compassion.  All qualities she wouldn't have without consistent lessons, and redirecting. The world can be a cold, thoughtless place.  One sure way to influence the world is to raise children of faith, compassion, and love, who desires to make the world a better place. Recognizing that these qualities will continue to pass down from one generation to the next influencing thousands for eternity.

3. Motherhood brings me daily joy.  True joy, not fleeing happiness.  Joy when your child snuggles you. Joy when you child smiles at you. Joy when you look at an infant and feel this overwhelming power of love. Recognizing that you and your husband partnered with God to create life, and provide a loving home for His child to be raised up to return to Him.

Yes, we all have days where we feel like the invisible mother, or the lady about to lose her mind. We potty train and change diapers. We taxi our kids everywhere they need to go.  We yell and nag.  We drag kids out of bed and don't forget our bodies are never going to be the same. BUT... we love it, and would never change it for all the world.  So remember the next time you might "like" a post that degrades yourself or your precious child, what message are you sending?


 

Mommy's Never Get Vacations

Isn't this a nice extended family photo? It is pretty hard, after all, to get a picture with everyone smiling and looking at the camera! Oh wait SOMEONE isn't looking... What is that crazy lady doing? Oh yes, yelling at her children to stop fighting and just smile for the camera!

Why do I insisted on taking family vacations? Inevitably, I find myself on every trip thinking.. . And this was my idea? Lets be honest. Regardless of where you go on a trip, a Mom's version of the family vacation goes pretty much like this...



Before the Trip:

1. Laundry.

2. Pack. Not just suitcases, but snacks, activities, and everything you can possibly squeeze into your carry-on in case of _______________ (fill in the blank of endless possibilities on an airplane ride with children).


3. Clean the house.

4. Keep the house clean.

5. Waking up earlier than needful the day of the trip with a list of everything you dreamed all night about forgetting.

6. Hunt around house for items you forgot.

7. Serve a quick breakfast.

8. Hand wash Dishes so they don't smell up the house. Oh and don't forget to take out the garbage.

9. Make sure husband loads everything in the car.

10. Hunt around for the next set of items you forgot.

11.Run out the door.

Airport:

1. Constantly hustling of the children to get them where they need to be safely and quickly without anyone wandering off. All the while ignoring countless look from strangers who are silently (and sometimes not so silently) critiquing the your efforts. After enduring this so many times I have found the best way to accomplishes this, is Bribery. "as soon as you are sitting in your seat with your seat belt safely fastened, you can have some M&Ms". "I'm really sorry you can't go to the bathroom right now here's some Smarties." Etc Etc. In the mean time someone throws ups, another starts crying and one wets there pants. BREATHE.


"Vacation"

Vacationing with children is really just doing what you do everyday, just in a different place without any routines and a third the sleep. It is full of bathing children, getting them dressed, Fixing their hair (more than normal because everyday is picture day). Dragging your children all over the place so they can enjoy something. And heaven forbid no throwing a fit in front of Grandma.



Airport:


See previous only increase the bribes and the whining about 10 fold. Not to mention you have had no sleep and you patience is well spent.



After the Trip


1. Unpack

2. Laundry

3. Find a place to store the souvenirs, blog about all you adventures, and make a scrapbook so your children remember that they did fun things as a kid.

4. And finally try to reestablish the routines that have more then been forgotten on the trip...

Happy Pioneer Day

Racing Rabbits Number 1!

Daddy finally got his dream of coaching softball. Okay the dream was coaching baseball, but who knows if that will ever happen. At least Brian got to play catch with an offspring. Poor guy has to take what he can get in this house.

Lovin these braids!

We had such a fun season. Samantha was very into the game and even got a few girls out. Too bad it didn't count in this league.

If I was Posting in April

I would've Shown You what we did during conference...

Aren't we cute?(Why is this picture sideways???)

I would've Blagged about Samantha's Artwork on display at the Grocery Store...

And shown you the hailstones that hit our roof late one night.

New Roof Coming Soon.

Memorial Day

It really nice not to have any plans for a Holiday.

I think I am going to cry!

Olivia at 11:30am Yesterday:

Olivia at 7:30pm yesterday

Ballet Photos

Reflections of a BW take 2

Well here I am posting again... My sweet friends, is anyone still out there in the blog world who cares about the Willeys? Who knows, but I guess I can start posting for myself and the Grandparents any how.

Today I ran into a dear friend who I don't see often enough and she asked me how the Bishop's Wife was doing. Ha Ha. It gave me a little moment of reflection over what I have learned over the last year and a half. So here it goes.

1. Being the BW is a privilege. I struggle with saying this. Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not bragging. I don't think we are so awesome because my husband has this calling. Those who see a Bishop's calling as something to aspire to are frankly, clueless. It is a ton of work and your opportunity to offend others is so readily available. But those who would say I never want my husband to be Bishop are clueless too. Watching someone you love learn and develop as they are a tool in the Lord's hand is amazing. Serving the Lord is a blessing. Am I alone a lot, yes. Do we share less with each other about our days, yes. But seeing my husband grow as he receives frequent revelation that he acts on daily, is a privilege.

2. Being alone is easy when it is for the right reasons. Don't get me wrong; putting kids to bed alone is not easy. And when my husband is gone for work that gets old real fast.

But I never resent when my husband is gone because he is serving as the Bishop. Why? Well think about it. How much do you love the people in your ward? Maybe not everyone, but those you know well. Wouldn't you drop everything to serve someone you love? If you knew that someone's testimony was wavering, if someones marriage was failing, if someone child wandering. Wouldn't you be there to love and support them? Wouldn't your scripture study be centered around finding something to bring them, faith, peace, or hope?

I have come to learn that when my husband is gone meeting with someone as their Bishop. This is exactly what he is doing. They need him, well not really him. They need the Lord and my husband gets to be His representative to help others take full advantage of the atonement.

If I knew what was going on in the lives of the members of my ward I would do anything to help them. But I don't, and I don't need too. I just need to remember that when my husband steps out of my house to step in the church, he is going to bless someone who I love. And that makes putting kids to bed alone easier.

3. You love those whom you serve, and the Bishop serves the whole ward, and as the BW that love spreads to you too. My capacity to love the members of my ward has grown expoentially.

4. People are relieved when your children act horribly, in sacrament, as long as you haul them out to avoid detracting from the spirit. Guess what, the Bishop's Family is normal. My children argue, they take their shoes off in the chapel when I'm not looking, and my 3 year yells out "I don't want to go to church!" That is just the way it is. I'm trying to survive sacrament meeting the same as everyone else. And that is okay. People are way more concerned about there own toddler to notice mine. If by chance they are judging me. That's okay too. Someday they will be in my shoes, and they will understand then.

5. I am clueless to what is going on in the ward. Of course to anything confidential but also about things that aren't. I had a friend ask me. "I've always wondered how much the Bishop's wife knows about what is going on." Frankly nothing. The most I know is what time my husband expects he will be home on Sunday for dinner. And I didn't even know that today. Unless it is in the Relief Society email, I don't know about. Which includes all High Priest activities and service projects, and who is pregnant. :)

Last Sunday, was Mother's day. I had a great day. My husband was home for most of it. It seems foreign to have him home on a Sunday. I hope that doesn't sound awful. Brian was sustained into the Bishopric 4 years ago on Mother's Day. Sometime in those years having him gone on Sunday just became life. When you receive a call like this, you feel a lot of pressure to be perfect. My first Sunday alone on the bench was tricky. I never thought I could do it alone. Samantha at age 2 gave me this look that said I can do whatever I want and you can't stop me. She was right and I was terrified. But then life just becomes life and you don't really think about it anymore. You serve, you struggle, you survive, and then you just live. And your life is blessed. I think it is that way with any calling. You feel inadequate because you are, but as you push forward and do your best, your capacity increases and you grow.

Goliath

Have you read this talk? It is one of my favorites. President Monson gave it back in 1987. He tells the story of David who faced Goliath in the Valley of Elah. Goliath wore heavy brass armor and was armed with a spear and sword, David on the other hand came before him with only a staff, sling and five smooth stones.
Appearing ill prepared for the battle David exclaimed “thou comest to me with a spear and with a shield; but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of Hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defiled.”
We all know what happened, David slew Goliath and save the Israelites that day. But President Monson’s point was that if their had not been a Goliath, David would not have become the man that he was.
He further talks about the Goliaths in our lives. And how we respond to them defines our lives and forms us in to the men and women that the Lord knows we are.
He mentions the goliaths that Columbus, Joseph Smith and the Savior all faced . Then He says
"What is the significance of these accounts? Had there been no Ocean, there would have been no Columbus. No Jail and martyr, no Joseph, No Cross, no Christ."

Trials in our lives make us who we are. Either we can step up and seek to overcome or else we will be overcome.

Maybe, Maybe...

NOPE.

(Just an update on my earlier post today.)

Speaking too soon is one of my not so great traits.

Mommy Milestones

There are so many milestones in Motherhood. It starts with your 1st pregnancy and includes things such as: your first sleep through the night, the first trip to the grocery store with a wobbly baby sitting in the child seat, and unfortunately, things like the first time your child says "Your the worstest mommy in the whole world." Today I've had a bunch of milestones all in one day.
#1 No kids in Diapers?!!!
That's right this morning Anabelle had her first Pee Pee in the Pot-ty (yes ,I did the conga dance). This little girl has been showing signs for a while, but I have been to lazy/ busy to get going. So this morning when she told me "potty mommy" right before she filled her diaper, I thought okay today is the day. I pulled out the root beer, M&Ms and put the potty chair in the downstairs bathroom. After a few demos of reward for pee pee by her sisters, Anabelle got the idea. For the next 20 min I kept prodding her to the potty, until I accepted that she need to digest some of her soda before we would have success. I decided to wait 10 more mins and then try again. I got on the phone to make a call and Anabelle went "missing" I found her on the potty seat going all by herself!!!!
Don't be surprised if you come by or happen to be at A. Road Park and get mooned (sorry random fisherman). I not being neglectful, were potty training over here.

#2 No kids in a crib?!!
We bought a bunk bed back in January. A full /twin combo. The plan was for all three girls to share a room. Now this is my third time around. I knew what to expect, and the solution for each problem.

1. Several days of not going to sleep. Solution: Keep her inside the room, she will fall asleep eventually.
2. Crying when I tie the door shut so she can't come out of her room. Solution: Be strong after a few days she will give up and just go to sleep.
3. Fighting nap time til it disappears completely. Solution: Put her in her crib for Naps

Well, like all things motherhood, I didn't anticipate:

Bite your sister because you know that you will get in trouble and mommy will put you back in your crib for the night.

Nice. So all attempts of sleeping in the bed have failed... until TODAY. I guess using the potty signaled something and when I went to put Bella down for a nap she said "bed mommy bed." She has said this before at bedtime and I usually say No because I know the result (poor Olivia). But for a nap, there wont be anyone to bite during her nap. Well long story short. She is sound asleep in her bed. Have you ever heard of a toddler who will nap in her bed but not sleep there at night? No it is always the other way around. This crazy girl. Maybe tonight she wont bite her sister. Maybe she will sleep there since she has done it before. Maybe.

#3 I just told Samantha to turn down the stereo. Unfortunately, this milestone falls among many others that will be repeated over and over again.

Birthday Girl

Bella turned 2 on February 15th. My little Valentine had a pizza party and a heart shaped cake. Then we went over to Build a Bear to make our traditional Happy Birthday Bear. Unfortunately they were all out of record your own sound, because everyone had been in the day before recording messages for there sweethearts. One of the many curses of having a Valentine Birthday. We finally made it back over today to record her Birthday song.

Best Present: Sunglasses and Lipstick. Next year I think we need to have a Fancy Nancy party. This girl is all about accessories. (One of my spell check suggestions: Necessaries - too funny I had to share!)

Brian swears Anabelle switched the cupcake shirt for this one... I guess we have an athlete in the family.

Record Breaking Snow

12.5" That is the most it has snowed in Dallas EVER! Well maybe not ever, but ever since there was a record kept, which is really a long time, and there is no proof if it ever happened before. Okay so more probably fell in a single day in the ICE AGE, but everyday was like that so Whoopdee do.

My girls enjoyed the beautiful snow all morning with their daddy. I like any good Texas Mama rummaged through my food storage to create meals because their is no way I'm going out in this. (Yes I grew up in CO and no the roads were not icy, but 12" of slush might as well be ice anyway). After the quick morning play, Daddy headed off to work without most of the DFW population, and enjoyed a quiet day mostly alone at the office, other than the partner who came in around 11:00 in sweatpants and galoshes.

We don't even own a shovel, poor Brian.

My Poor Tree

My Snowy Valentines

We couldn't believe it when we woke up to 2 inches of snow this morning. It has been snowing hard all day. They say we could get as much as 8 inches by tonight, and that this is the biggest storm we have had since the 70s! Luckily Preschool wasn't canceled because Samantha and Livy had there Valentine party and show today. I am so glad I decided to put them in Preschool together they have become best friends. What more could I ask for.