hmm... juz came back from hospital... daddy juz got discharged... totally drained of energy physically mentally n emotionally... hmm... but glad that he is totally fine now... thanks who all who had send their regards! i appreciate it... =) ppl always say huan nan jian zhen qing... so ya... =) rather clear who's wad... ya...

hmm... tests are comin up nx wk... pls kill me!!! hmm.. if not pls bless me... haiz.. i dunno if i can survive thru... now am feeling hell lotsa stress... so many days din study le... n so many ppl ask me how's my studies.. hmm... dunno how to tell them oso... haha.. so juz say dunno lorz... cos really lost...

hmm... hard to find someone to turn to... no idea why... juz dun wanna tell so much... afterall if ppl really care, they'll bother to ask... if they dun ask, at least u can feel that they care... haha.. but some, the feeling will be v blur.. hmm.... ya...

haiz... had been slping v little recently... haha... n had weird dreams.. that day when Mr G. Bush is coming to spore, i dreamt that i shook his hand... haha.. then i dreamt that there's a lady who had exactly the same signature as daddy... then last nite, i dreamt that ... i cant rmb now... but i know is rather weird... mm.... oh mine.. am i not resting enough?! all my pimples are more obv now le... oh mine oh mine!!!

WHO AM I TO YOU?! hmmm.....

gd nite.. slp tight... evryone dream of me tonight!!! miss me haha!!! siao*

my weekends...

had a great one... went to class outing with my JC classmates... we gals have lotsa to talk abt... or maybe limited to some normal things? but getting tgt with them is real good... make me feel a lot more younger haha... like when u say i goin out w jc frens then is like u goin back to ur 17-18 yrs old self haha... think of this... "i'm goin out w my uni fren".. it juz makes evryth older... sobsob*

sun! went out with jeeda... we went to arcade. it'd been long since i really play there... oh mine! all cos of a bear we spend quite a lot.. but still worth it... haha... feel so young... haha.. think i'm getting older, that's y i am thinkin about youth... gosh*!

hmm... today, i mean juz now! i juz finished my lab report... so tired... n juz look at the time now, it shows 320 am... i haven do my MLE tut... oh mine! think i wake up earlier to do ba...

tml... later, daddy goin to see his eyes... seem to hve sth bad goin on inside... hope he's alrite. gods bless.. hehe... so tired... shoulders are aching real hard... dearest guy, pls come n help me massage... oh mine... think i'm dreaming...

juz went shitting, smelly poo poo! YEEEEEW!! disgusting me! haha... dunno what's w me... maybe tired then turn hyper haha... okie so late le... daddy suddenly wake up. so i have to turn in le... nx time will post my bear's photo haha...

let the secret of beary's power unfold.... MUHAHAHAHA!!!

yeah!!! i pass my advanced theory test le! haha... not as bad as i heard or thought to be... for once, i tot i'm goin to fail when i was in the midst of the 50 qns haha... cos i became very hesitating at one pt in time... thank god! i pass my test haha... well well... other than these, i have my REAL tests coming up... hmm... tml got SS test then starting frm 27th to 5th dec, i've got my final sem papers!! bless me baby! gosh...

haha... so happy! so remarkable... haha... dunno i here zi high for wad... haha... today had my last soci tut... the grades for my grp work is so much better than my individual work! hmm... got A- for both... got back mid term assignment le.. think i am last in class again... juz dunno why i juz cant seem to understand all the weird theories... hmm... how i wish i can think like them... but if i can think like them, i'd been in the FASS le ma... hmm... that is how unfair life can be... haha...

hmm... that's all folks! gotta go wash up n prepare to eat dinner lo haha! happy!

hmm.... time flies... a sem will be gone soon... all the exam are coming up... while all the A n O lvls ppl are enjoying their hols, be it short or long, i'll be pia-ing for my end of sem papers... omg! hmm... since long long time ago, my physics kinda sucks... not sure why i choose engine oso, but ya haha... shld have gone to sci fac to do maths haha... cos i love maths n i have more confidence in maths hehe...

so after the papers, i think i will hunt for jobs le... in case anyone's anyone looking for tuition teachers for maths... pls pls pls look for me... i'll treat u to lunch :) hehe... or shld like v thick skin go teach some other sbj? really dun wanna bring harm to anyone seh! dun wanna them to hate me for their results...

Soo... why ppl dun like to be frank? and they find frankness str fwd and offensivE? eh... hehe... juz suddenly think so this, no nth so ya... :)

anyway, how's the idea of having music to acc reading?

kinda miss the carefree me... hmm... now so tighted down... with so much things, no longer the free n easy me... haha... think that's the outcome of MATURITY... or...?? no idea... but i hope that i can stay happy 4eva n spread my happiness to evryone haha... including the world...

had been so down recently... hope low tide will be over soon... n my dearest guy gotta stay-in, so one person less for me to talk to le... anyway, studies make me no time for anith so ya.. no time to think so much oso... so ya! i wun go bonkers de hehe... fight on meizhu!!!

hmm... my frens in class are all v nice to me... but somehow i cldnt break that barrier i had... juz fear to make frens... since when? since she left i supposed... so long le, yet i still held on! quite useless ah me! haha... remind me of sun yanzi's song... hehe...

oh yah! i have rip the cd into my lappy.. later tcl kill me haha... nvm, think i return her on fri haha... :) tml got theory test. wish me luck... bless me! haha

time flies...

hoho~! juz trying out this... arent these cute?

argh~!!!!

omg... i think i am goin bonkers le... recently happened a lot of things. lotsa bad things which makes me so sad n terrible.. feel like dying soon... all the energy like draining away from this cell... haiz...

recently ah ma go hos... for the 1st few days i go n visit her evryday until that v faithful day when i realised that she doesnt really appreciate me... and the rest... she only care abt that yi da li n family. totally pissed... and with ah ma.. but her!

hmm.. now she think she very big le... hmm...indeed big in size.. hmm... hope god dun punish me for saying all these nasty things... cos the terror they gave me is far beyond these... i cant stand it anymore le...! if possible, i rather she a stranger... i dun wanna her to be my relative!

hmm... my relatives around me create so much fear for me in life. i keep gettin the idea that ppl will grow old to be "blind" to nice ppl ard u, and that kids all have attitude problem... and for once in the past, i felt that i dun wanna have kids in future.. but that was past.. cos there are certainly gd kids ard, esp those that i'm gonna have haha...! hmm... so i doubt i will wanna to live with my in-laws though after seeing how mama suffer...

juz got a phone call! damn it... i HATE her!!! if only i can cursed her without getting punished, i'll!!! all the misery all trap inside me... cant stand!!!

how i wish i am a dumb.. cos i easily say wrong things... really... so now i talk lesser to frens le... dun dare to tok too much... cos i fear.. well in fact, i only talk to my heart frankly... cos it dun talk back n only i myself know wad happened... hmm... ya... after so many trips i no longer share my misery that much le... so no one see my sad side except those closer to me... maybe not all that are close to me... but i really appreciate my family's patience except sometimes, jeeda n xihui... jd acc me thru a lot be it gd or bad, though he made me sad n angry at times, i still appreciate it... xihui... is someone whom i dun always talk to a lot nowadays but knowing that she will be there to listen to my troubles make evryth better.... :)

hmmm.... argh! now blog oso dunno how to say wad happened... haiz.. think i need to go for speech barrier lesson... think this has become a barrier since... a few yrs back... maybe after i lost her... cos after that i dun really like to say my REAL problems since ppl who care will worry a lot... hmm... ya... but keepin it will make them more worry rite? hehe... no one will notice that i am hidin them cos i do it too perfectly le haha..

well well... still feel so tight! haha... anyway, i had a super bad dream last nite. i was crying so badly in the dream that i almost do it in life. but that woke me up haha... so terrible. dreamt that my guy gonna marry my fren, whom he dont willing tobut have too, and still with me.. that i have to ask for a breakup so that he can go marry her.! omg! the thing is so real that it make me feel so bad in the morning.. wad a way to start the day with! hmph*!

haiz..

long blog... i think... sob sob... pls, someone save me out of misery. may gd luck befall me... dun wanna much fortune. juz a better life... how i wish i juz live on a island with a few ppl... i wish i wish i wish...

wishful thinking....

hmm... juz came back from hospital... daddy juz got discharged... totally drained of energy physically mentally n emotionally... hmm... but glad that he is totally fine now... thanks who all who had send their regards! i appreciate it... =) ppl always say huan nan jian zhen qing... so ya... =) rather clear who's wad... ya...

hmm... tests are comin up nx wk... pls kill me!!! hmm.. if not pls bless me... haiz.. i dunno if i can survive thru... now am feeling hell lotsa stress... so many days din study le... n so many ppl ask me how's my studies.. hmm... dunno how to tell them oso... haha.. so juz say dunno lorz... cos really lost...

hmm... hard to find someone to turn to... no idea why... juz dun wanna tell so much... afterall if ppl really care, they'll bother to ask... if they dun ask, at least u can feel that they care... haha.. but some, the feeling will be v blur.. hmm.... ya...

haiz... had been slping v little recently... haha... n had weird dreams.. that day when Mr G. Bush is coming to spore, i dreamt that i shook his hand... haha.. then i dreamt that there's a lady who had exactly the same signature as daddy... then last nite, i dreamt that ... i cant rmb now... but i know is rather weird... mm.... oh mine.. am i not resting enough?! all my pimples are more obv now le... oh mine oh mine!!!

WHO AM I TO YOU?! hmmm.....

gd nite.. slp tight... evryone dream of me tonight!!! miss me haha!!! siao*

my weekends...

had a great one... went to class outing with my JC classmates... we gals have lotsa to talk abt... or maybe limited to some normal things? but getting tgt with them is real good... make me feel a lot more younger haha... like when u say i goin out w jc frens then is like u goin back to ur 17-18 yrs old self haha... think of this... "i'm goin out w my uni fren".. it juz makes evryth older... sobsob*

sun! went out with jeeda... we went to arcade. it'd been long since i really play there... oh mine! all cos of a bear we spend quite a lot.. but still worth it... haha... feel so young... haha.. think i'm getting older, that's y i am thinkin about youth... gosh*!

hmm... today, i mean juz now! i juz finished my lab report... so tired... n juz look at the time now, it shows 320 am... i haven do my MLE tut... oh mine! think i wake up earlier to do ba...

tml... later, daddy goin to see his eyes... seem to hve sth bad goin on inside... hope he's alrite. gods bless.. hehe... so tired... shoulders are aching real hard... dearest guy, pls come n help me massage... oh mine... think i'm dreaming...

juz went shitting, smelly poo poo! YEEEEEW!! disgusting me! haha... dunno what's w me... maybe tired then turn hyper haha... okie so late le... daddy suddenly wake up. so i have to turn in le... nx time will post my bear's photo haha...

let the secret of beary's power unfold.... MUHAHAHAHA!!!

yeah!!! i pass my advanced theory test le! haha... not as bad as i heard or thought to be... for once, i tot i'm goin to fail when i was in the midst of the 50 qns haha... cos i became very hesitating at one pt in time... thank god! i pass my test haha... well well... other than these, i have my REAL tests coming up... hmm... tml got SS test then starting frm 27th to 5th dec, i've got my final sem papers!! bless me baby! gosh...

haha... so happy! so remarkable... haha... dunno i here zi high for wad... haha... today had my last soci tut... the grades for my grp work is so much better than my individual work! hmm... got A- for both... got back mid term assignment le.. think i am last in class again... juz dunno why i juz cant seem to understand all the weird theories... hmm... how i wish i can think like them... but if i can think like them, i'd been in the FASS le ma... hmm... that is how unfair life can be... haha...

hmm... that's all folks! gotta go wash up n prepare to eat dinner lo haha! happy!

hmm.... time flies... a sem will be gone soon... all the exam are coming up... while all the A n O lvls ppl are enjoying their hols, be it short or long, i'll be pia-ing for my end of sem papers... omg! hmm... since long long time ago, my physics kinda sucks... not sure why i choose engine oso, but ya haha... shld have gone to sci fac to do maths haha... cos i love maths n i have more confidence in maths hehe...

so after the papers, i think i will hunt for jobs le... in case anyone's anyone looking for tuition teachers for maths... pls pls pls look for me... i'll treat u to lunch :) hehe... or shld like v thick skin go teach some other sbj? really dun wanna bring harm to anyone seh! dun wanna them to hate me for their results...

Soo... why ppl dun like to be frank? and they find frankness str fwd and offensivE? eh... hehe... juz suddenly think so this, no nth so ya... :)

anyway, how's the idea of having music to acc reading?

kinda miss the carefree me... hmm... now so tighted down... with so much things, no longer the free n easy me... haha... think that's the outcome of MATURITY... or...?? no idea... but i hope that i can stay happy 4eva n spread my happiness to evryone haha... including the world...

had been so down recently... hope low tide will be over soon... n my dearest guy gotta stay-in, so one person less for me to talk to le... anyway, studies make me no time for anith so ya.. no time to think so much oso... so ya! i wun go bonkers de hehe... fight on meizhu!!!

hmm... my frens in class are all v nice to me... but somehow i cldnt break that barrier i had... juz fear to make frens... since when? since she left i supposed... so long le, yet i still held on! quite useless ah me! haha... remind me of sun yanzi's song... hehe...

oh yah! i have rip the cd into my lappy.. later tcl kill me haha... nvm, think i return her on fri haha... :) tml got theory test. wish me luck... bless me! haha

time flies...

hoho~! juz trying out this... arent these cute?

argh~!!!!

omg... i think i am goin bonkers le... recently happened a lot of things. lotsa bad things which makes me so sad n terrible.. feel like dying soon... all the energy like draining away from this cell... haiz...

recently ah ma go hos... for the 1st few days i go n visit her evryday until that v faithful day when i realised that she doesnt really appreciate me... and the rest... she only care abt that yi da li n family. totally pissed... and with ah ma.. but her!

hmm.. now she think she very big le... hmm...indeed big in size.. hmm... hope god dun punish me for saying all these nasty things... cos the terror they gave me is far beyond these... i cant stand it anymore le...! if possible, i rather she a stranger... i dun wanna her to be my relative!

hmm... my relatives around me create so much fear for me in life. i keep gettin the idea that ppl will grow old to be "blind" to nice ppl ard u, and that kids all have attitude problem... and for once in the past, i felt that i dun wanna have kids in future.. but that was past.. cos there are certainly gd kids ard, esp those that i'm gonna have haha...! hmm... so i doubt i will wanna to live with my in-laws though after seeing how mama suffer...

juz got a phone call! damn it... i HATE her!!! if only i can cursed her without getting punished, i'll!!! all the misery all trap inside me... cant stand!!!

how i wish i am a dumb.. cos i easily say wrong things... really... so now i talk lesser to frens le... dun dare to tok too much... cos i fear.. well in fact, i only talk to my heart frankly... cos it dun talk back n only i myself know wad happened... hmm... ya... after so many trips i no longer share my misery that much le... so no one see my sad side except those closer to me... maybe not all that are close to me... but i really appreciate my family's patience except sometimes, jeeda n xihui... jd acc me thru a lot be it gd or bad, though he made me sad n angry at times, i still appreciate it... xihui... is someone whom i dun always talk to a lot nowadays but knowing that she will be there to listen to my troubles make evryth better.... :)

hmmm.... argh! now blog oso dunno how to say wad happened... haiz.. think i need to go for speech barrier lesson... think this has become a barrier since... a few yrs back... maybe after i lost her... cos after that i dun really like to say my REAL problems since ppl who care will worry a lot... hmm... ya... but keepin it will make them more worry rite? hehe... no one will notice that i am hidin them cos i do it too perfectly le haha..

well well... still feel so tight! haha... anyway, i had a super bad dream last nite. i was crying so badly in the dream that i almost do it in life. but that woke me up haha... so terrible. dreamt that my guy gonna marry my fren, whom he dont willing tobut have too, and still with me.. that i have to ask for a breakup so that he can go marry her.! omg! the thing is so real that it make me feel so bad in the morning.. wad a way to start the day with! hmph*!

haiz..

long blog... i think... sob sob... pls, someone save me out of misery. may gd luck befall me... dun wanna much fortune. juz a better life... how i wish i juz live on a island with a few ppl... i wish i wish i wish...

wishful thinking....