Seriously..
Meizhu thinks mum is unfair again. She should know that she shouldn't bring it up n make meizhu feel guilty if she dun do it. I am gettin late for sch n no one actually bothers. Who would offer to send me there? Its little little things that tells me she loves me cos I'm nice to her. She was just tryin to reciprocate.. But she loves em more. She tot material comfort can make me happy but they don't. I can dun drive... Its cheaper that way. I dun hav to pay for e petrol of e entire family's usage.. But I'm doin it.. I hate it when she is unfair to me.. Y cant sister be late? Y muz i be e one to be late? I hate it.. Dun like it.. :(
this has always been meizhu's favourite k song. she din know the reason till now. maybe that's y.. the similar feeling she had... she need to k.. just to sing till drop...
倒带
蔡依林
作曲：周杰伦 作词：方文山 编曲：钟佐泓
我受够了等待 你所谓的安排
说的未来 到底多久才来
总是要来不及 才知道我可爱
我想依赖 而你却都不在
应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆 找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外 却一直都进不来
你累积给的伤害 我是真的很难释怀
终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开 哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
你总是要我乖 慢慢计划将来
我的眼泪 却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代 你该给的信赖
被你亲手 缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白 看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带 只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待 被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块 要怎么拼凑跟重来
终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开 哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
meizhu is so upset. so upset that she dunno what to say, how to say and who to say to. she is feeling so terrible. mum is worried, which is also the reason why i hesitated.
meizhu only wants someone to protect her. someone to love her. someone who understands her. she was once so look fwd to seeing him.. but now she is so worried to see him. she dun want her selfishness to add to his burden. she could only put up a brave front and got unreasonable to push him away. she dun want him to feel sandwiched. but meizhu is still a human. she is not perfect. she could not do it perfectly. she still made him upset.
meizhu dun like it at all. he is a good man, so evryone assumes he is a good lover too. but in fact he isnt really so great.. because he is so selfless to everyone and himself.. except to meizhu. dun like it..
meizhu needs attention. say it thousand times. she needs someone to protect me. hate it. she dun need him to be rich. to be able to give me everything. she just need care concern love attention protection. says it so many times.
she wishes she could get very angry with him... but yet he was doing something he should be doing. but she just wish that he could have made some effort to do sth for her. she is losing that sense of security.
why is he always so readily to do it for his family. yet not willing to change for someone he claimed to love. what is love. just what is love?
meizhu is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO upset...... if crying a thousand day could just heal a bit of her heartache, she would. yet she cant....
love is heartwarming. love is pain. love is RATIONAL too.
maybe, love dun exist.
meizhu hates uncertainty. she always put up a front and can get nasty. but some ppl just dunno her and will fight back... she hates that kind of her. she hates to have to put up brave front. she just wish someone would understand her and tell to stop doing that cos it hurts no one but herself.
she hates to feel that she is gg to get lonely. she dun like it. she hates it when jeeda dun have time to acc her and tell her that his have no choice.. she hates it.. meizhu felt that its a taboo to praise him cos within days their relationship will turn bad. she hate herself for wanting to be like the rest of the gal. she hates to have to accept that she cant afford expectation. she hates to believe that she just have to wait, hoping that some day, things might come true.
she is so upset now cos she cant do anything. she is praying that she gets sick so that ppl will care more. she knows she is childish but she dun care as long as that can get her the attention she wants.
meizhu believes that there is no grey, its either black or white.. she is starting to hate herself more..
meizhu fell down ytd at the shelter under her block, right in front of 2 men. rite~ it was so embarrassing.. if not for her jeans, she'd most prob get cuts on her knee caps. (damn shit.) and if not for the jeans, she wun be able to go for the run today!
so meizhu went for a run this morning! surprising she could wake up in time for the run.. haha... anyway.. her stamina fell like crazy. imagine her panting at less than a km of run... contrast it with her running 9km when she was still light. that extra weight simply make things so much harder. she promises she'll shed those FATS by running..
firstly, she gotta run to complete that 3k, then she needs to improve on her timing, nx, increase the distance. she will join some 5k race to challenge her limits. she can then move on to targeting maybe 7~9k before she goes for 10k. she wants to get the figure she had in sec sch.. she wants others to envy her gd shape, both physical and mental, or rather health. she feels good being better. rite~ she's a Leo. Leo. ya, Leo.
yeah..........................
meizhu is unhappy for she forsees jeeda having less time for her. she is not at all happy abt it. but seriously she cant do anyth abt it.. well, maybe meizhu will just find some entertainment herself when she needs it. come to think of it, she can self-entertain quite well.. so well haha..
Think, before you open ur mouth n talk to your kids.. You'll nv know the impact you made on them.. You'll nv know how some small things may seem so big to them.. Meizhu thinks that a parent shld not be stingy with praise.. Of cos scolding when needed n appropriate is a must.. Nv tell em how life is gonna sucks even that's e truth.. Being parent.. Is nv easy..
last year, meizhu hated herself a lot... especially during the short period that she felt that she had a small crush on someone else. she did admit that to jeeda and is happy that it's all over. that was one of the worse time ever. she felt so guilty. but now its all over and she is happily in love with jeeda wholeheartedly haha!!
that confession did help a lot. cos forcing herself not to think of it actually made her think more.... so she decided to tell... at least she can do sth abt it.. jeeda din say much and she was glad he was understanding... at least aid her to tide that lousy period. she can say that the holiday become much more enjoyable than she expected... maybe that period made her realise how much more she loves him... and how much more she gotta cherish him... wahaha... i hope he is feeling very happy now.
meizhu think that this is a brand new chapter of their lives. she is looking fwd to the nx phase too... she wish to..... haha! okie.
signing off... muacks
meizhu dun like it at all cos she thinks that mum is bias.
she dun like the way mum sides with her brother and his gal. meizhu feels that mum could be more fair.. at least to her and maybe jeeda. she dun want all the materials, rather the little little non materialistic things that could cheer her up.. she wants some appreciation from mum. at least for a just a second in life, put her above her brother. meizhu would feel that everything is worth the effort. at least she is aware that mum can for once care for her more than her brother...
hate it!
afterall... meizhu is still a daughter, a girl though she is the eldest. she din choose to be the eldest and had done her part, so pls.. at least do appreciate her for what she did, rather than what she had not done or not done to your pleasure!
meizhu is so sad and is in a super bad mood now!
Seriously..
Meizhu thinks mum is unfair again. She should know that she shouldn't bring it up n make meizhu feel guilty if she dun do it. I am gettin late for sch n no one actually bothers. Who would offer to send me there? Its little little things that tells me she loves me cos I'm nice to her. She was just tryin to reciprocate.. But she loves em more. She tot material comfort can make me happy but they don't. I can dun drive... Its cheaper that way. I dun hav to pay for e petrol of e entire family's usage.. But I'm doin it.. I hate it when she is unfair to me.. Y cant sister be late? Y muz i be e one to be late? I hate it.. Dun like it.. :(
this has always been meizhu's favourite k song. she din know the reason till now. maybe that's y.. the similar feeling she had... she need to k.. just to sing till drop...
倒带
蔡依林
作曲：周杰伦 作词：方文山 编曲：钟佐泓
我受够了等待 你所谓的安排
说的未来 到底多久才来
总是要来不及 才知道我可爱
我想依赖 而你却都不在
应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆 找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外 却一直都进不来
你累积给的伤害 我是真的很难释怀
终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开 哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
你总是要我乖 慢慢计划将来
我的眼泪 却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代 你该给的信赖
被你亲手 缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白 看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带 只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待 被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块 要怎么拼凑跟重来
终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开 哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
meizhu is so upset. so upset that she dunno what to say, how to say and who to say to. she is feeling so terrible. mum is worried, which is also the reason why i hesitated.
meizhu only wants someone to protect her. someone to love her. someone who understands her. she was once so look fwd to seeing him.. but now she is so worried to see him. she dun want her selfishness to add to his burden. she could only put up a brave front and got unreasonable to push him away. she dun want him to feel sandwiched. but meizhu is still a human. she is not perfect. she could not do it perfectly. she still made him upset.
meizhu dun like it at all. he is a good man, so evryone assumes he is a good lover too. but in fact he isnt really so great.. because he is so selfless to everyone and himself.. except to meizhu. dun like it..
meizhu needs attention. say it thousand times. she needs someone to protect me. hate it. she dun need him to be rich. to be able to give me everything. she just need care concern love attention protection. says it so many times.
she wishes she could get very angry with him... but yet he was doing something he should be doing. but she just wish that he could have made some effort to do sth for her. she is losing that sense of security.
why is he always so readily to do it for his family. yet not willing to change for someone he claimed to love. what is love. just what is love?
meizhu is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO upset...... if crying a thousand day could just heal a bit of her heartache, she would. yet she cant....
love is heartwarming. love is pain. love is RATIONAL too.
maybe, love dun exist.
meizhu hates uncertainty. she always put up a front and can get nasty. but some ppl just dunno her and will fight back... she hates that kind of her. she hates to have to put up brave front. she just wish someone would understand her and tell to stop doing that cos it hurts no one but herself.
she hates to feel that she is gg to get lonely. she dun like it. she hates it when jeeda dun have time to acc her and tell her that his have no choice.. she hates it.. meizhu felt that its a taboo to praise him cos within days their relationship will turn bad. she hate herself for wanting to be like the rest of the gal. she hates to have to accept that she cant afford expectation. she hates to believe that she just have to wait, hoping that some day, things might come true.
she is so upset now cos she cant do anything. she is praying that she gets sick so that ppl will care more. she knows she is childish but she dun care as long as that can get her the attention she wants.
meizhu believes that there is no grey, its either black or white.. she is starting to hate herself more..
meizhu fell down ytd at the shelter under her block, right in front of 2 men. rite~ it was so embarrassing.. if not for her jeans, she'd most prob get cuts on her knee caps. (damn shit.) and if not for the jeans, she wun be able to go for the run today!
so meizhu went for a run this morning! surprising she could wake up in time for the run.. haha... anyway.. her stamina fell like crazy. imagine her panting at less than a km of run... contrast it with her running 9km when she was still light. that extra weight simply make things so much harder. she promises she'll shed those FATS by running..
firstly, she gotta run to complete that 3k, then she needs to improve on her timing, nx, increase the distance. she will join some 5k race to challenge her limits. she can then move on to targeting maybe 7~9k before she goes for 10k. she wants to get the figure she had in sec sch.. she wants others to envy her gd shape, both physical and mental, or rather health. she feels good being better. rite~ she's a Leo. Leo. ya, Leo.
yeah..........................
meizhu is unhappy for she forsees jeeda having less time for her. she is not at all happy abt it. but seriously she cant do anyth abt it.. well, maybe meizhu will just find some entertainment herself when she needs it. come to think of it, she can self-entertain quite well.. so well haha..
Think, before you open ur mouth n talk to your kids.. You'll nv know the impact you made on them.. You'll nv know how some small things may seem so big to them.. Meizhu thinks that a parent shld not be stingy with praise.. Of cos scolding when needed n appropriate is a must.. Nv tell em how life is gonna sucks even that's e truth.. Being parent.. Is nv easy..
last year, meizhu hated herself a lot... especially during the short period that she felt that she had a small crush on someone else. she did admit that to jeeda and is happy that it's all over. that was one of the worse time ever. she felt so guilty. but now its all over and she is happily in love with jeeda wholeheartedly haha!!
that confession did help a lot. cos forcing herself not to think of it actually made her think more.... so she decided to tell... at least she can do sth abt it.. jeeda din say much and she was glad he was understanding... at least aid her to tide that lousy period. she can say that the holiday become much more enjoyable than she expected... maybe that period made her realise how much more she loves him... and how much more she gotta cherish him... wahaha... i hope he is feeling very happy now.
meizhu think that this is a brand new chapter of their lives. she is looking fwd to the nx phase too... she wish to..... haha! okie.
signing off... muacks
meizhu dun like it at all cos she thinks that mum is bias.
she dun like the way mum sides with her brother and his gal. meizhu feels that mum could be more fair.. at least to her and maybe jeeda. she dun want all the materials, rather the little little non materialistic things that could cheer her up.. she wants some appreciation from mum. at least for a just a second in life, put her above her brother. meizhu would feel that everything is worth the effort. at least she is aware that mum can for once care for her more than her brother...
hate it!
afterall... meizhu is still a daughter, a girl though she is the eldest. she din choose to be the eldest and had done her part, so pls.. at least do appreciate her for what she did, rather than what she had not done or not done to your pleasure!
meizhu is so sad and is in a super bad mood now!
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Name's meizhu.
Wants to be beautiful and smart. And, be appreciated and seen. is BEING herself.
