My Daddy

My older brother created this slideshow for a very special purpose - to be played at the Hawker funeral home in remembrance of one very dear to each of us.

Thursday, November 17, 2011, at 4:37pm, the world lost the most amazing man I know: my protector from the monsters under the bed, my shoulder to cry on when my heart was breaking, my gps when I would get lost, my mentor, my friend, my father.

Two weeks and one day later, we gathered as family and friends in Blackfoot, Idaho, to celebrate his life, and resolve once again to live according to the principles he so diligently taught us and showed us. To live our lives with love. I hope I make him proud.

I love my daddy with all my heart. He led his life with greatness, leaving a marvelous legacy in the lives of his children. I know that he is still taking care of me, and I will see him again, for our family is sealed together for eternity.

Dad's day.

A little girl needs Daddy
For many, many things:
Like holding her high off the ground
Where the sunlight sings!
Like being the deep music
That tells her all is right
When she awakens frantic with
The terrors of the night.
Like being the great mountain
That rises in her heart
And shows her how she might get
home
When all else falls apart.
Like giving her the love
That is her sea and air,
So diving deep or soaring high
She'll always find him there.

His Sacred Name - An Easter Declaration

Princes and Princesses.

My friend wrote on her social networking status "to marry a prince, you have to become a princess." Shortly after reading that, I had asked a close friend of mine if I were a princess. I knew that he would be honest with me, as he usually tells things like they are. His answer was simple. "Yup."

I don't know about you, but when I hear the word prince, what usually comes to mind is the Snow White classic "Someday My Prince Will Come." Now that you have that tune going through your head...

I had once thought my prince did come, twice actually. Although the first was just a hope, and I wasn't a princess then. He was, however, a prince. The second I wanted him to be a prince - my prince. But he decided I wasn't his princess. I was once again locked in a tower, except now it seemed higher than ever. I believe it's still true though, one day my prince will come. Then he'll get smoked by the dragon. Yup, I'm pretty sure.

When I mentioned that to my friend, he told me that I didn't want a prince anyway. I wanted a King, who is merely a prince that is more manly. Here's how I see it going though: someday my prince will come and then he'll get smoked by the dragon. There's always a dragon. After going through that fire (or maybe in the midst of it) he'll step it up and become more manly, thus becoming a king willing to take me as his queen. And my mom tells me my life is no fairy tale! Ha!

Bit of Knowledge

I stopped by a friend's house last night to catch the last few minutes of Jimmer Fredette's college career in basketball (although I am definitely not a BYU fan most of the time, I was hoping they would go farther in the NCAA). It was while talking with this friend that I vocalized what I had been in the process of realizing over the course of the last nine months: take one day at a time.

This is something that we should all remember to do, but often forget anyway. In this conversation, of course, I was referring to dating. He's 'feeling his age' (although he really isn't THAT old) and very much wants to settle down and have a family, much like so many others in our social realm. As we are practically like family, I gave him a bit of advice, while at the same time hoping that this will somehow seep into the lives of a few others that I know even though they were not around to hear it. I told him that when he starts dating someone, and things get serious, just take it one day at a time (which really you should do from the beginning). Fears and doubts will inevitably come, both to the guy and the girl. Neither will probably talk about them, hopefully they do but they most likely won't. When you start focusing on the distant future and eternity, you're fears will increase and you start to really look for things that are wrong; you start looking for 'deal-breakers.'

It is day by day that you grow closer together, day by day that you decide 'yeah, I think I do want to spend some time with you.' Take it one day at a time and you will find that the hard work required in relationships will not seem so overwhelming. One day you will realize that she (or he) is someone you want to be around more than just a few hours every couple of days. That you like having her around and don't really want that to change. And you keep moving forward, hopefully together. Communicating with each other, learning from each other, sharing experiences together, laughing and crying together.

Not right away probably, or even after just a couple of months, but at some point you will realize that yes, this is someone with whom you could spend the rest of forever, and perhaps you even want to. It doesn't really matter how long it takes, not to those who matter at least. That is when things might start to get exciting, might start to feel exciting, but you will feel peace whether that excitement is there or not, as long as you keep those fears and doubts at bay by faith - faith in Christ, faith in yourself and the one you are dating, faith in your relationship.

At least, this has been my experience.

Time to Get Out and Do Something.

I promised to tell you about my recent-ish adventures, and now I shall fulfill that promise.

After some not-so-pleasant experiences in January (I swear, that month hates me every year!), my birthday came around in February. Close to last minute, I decided to run away to San Fransisco for my birthday weekend. I had told my roommate, and one or two other people on a need to know basis, and took off. I had an absolute blast! My ex-roommate, whom I was visiting out in California, made sure that weekend was packed full of fun! We went to Ghirardelli Square where she treated me to birthday ice cream, which was rather yummy :) We also went to Pier 39, Fisherman's Wharf, beaches, saw Alcatraz, and finally made it back home again where I was able to rest my exhausted legs. We stopped to watch a magic show and take a lot of pictures throughout the day.

The second day, after an eye opening experience at church (which I will tell you about if you ask), my ex-roommate and a new friend Farrah took me to see the Golden Gate Bridge. That is an amazing structure if you really think about it. I can see why people from that part of the country are so proud of it. That same evening, several of my host's friends came over for an ultimate frisbee dinner, which she had turned in to a 'let's celebrate Emma' dinner :) She's so silly. The host made the cake, and her roommate decorated it. They both did very well (despite what they may say). They even got my friend Braden to surprise me!! It was a perfect way to spend my birthday. Then, sadly, I had to leave and come back home. Don't think I wasn't strongly tempted to just stay out there and have my things sent to me...

A week or two later, an old college friend and her husband took me to go shooting! I already mentioned in a previous post how well the shooting went! While waiting for a lane, I got to talk to the workers a bit. Turns out one of them used to be an active member of my church but doesn't really want to live a lot of the standards we have or even just go to church. He recognized my BYU shirt and came up to give me a hard time about it. Sometimes it's funny how things can be turned around in to missionary opportunities. I look forward to more shooting range trips (and more possible missionary opportunities)!!

Hmmm....what happened next?

Oh, that's right! Two of my roommates and I went on an excursion to the Spy Museum! I don't have any pictures from there because, well, they don't let you take any. It was fun though. One of my roommates had family come join us, which made it all the more enjoyable! My other roommate and I had been before, but the rest of us were there for the first time. I got a free key chain, which was exciting, and I successfully passed the spy game! Not that many people who know me are all that surprised, but still, it's happy.

Last weekend, I went on another adventure traversing through the Shenandoah Mountains. A group of us went on a hike, where a few of us broke off for a bit from the trail and found the drop off point of the waterfall we were hoping to find! I had planned on not going on this trip actually, seeing as Joe was going on the hike and my heart still hurts quite a bit and it's likely that his does as well. But about an hour before the hike, after walking outside and feeling how beautiful a day it was, I showered, dressed, and hopped in my car to meet up with the group. Best decision I could have made that day. After the hike, we stopped on the way home to get some ice cream at the best little ice cream shop in that town. You should always end a hike with ice cream. I am really glad I went. I got to know several friends better, spend time in the great outdoors, conquer some fears, work some muscles, feel the love of my Heavenly Father, and see a little bit of improvement in one of my current situations. It was a wonderful day.

My life really is fairy tale, despite what my mother might say. Every fairy tale has rough times, but there are also those golden moments filled with friendship.

(Curtis is missing from the picture, but he was totally there! He was just the one taking the picture)

Amazing Grace

The song "Amazing Grace" always seems to touch my heart each time I hear it. So when my friend, Paul, broke down the song and found a scripture for each line, I couldn't help but share it.