My Daddy

My older brother created this slideshow for a very special purpose - to be played at the Hawker funeral home in remembrance of one very dear to each of us.

Thursday, November 17, 2011, at 4:37pm, the world lost the most amazing man I know: my protector from the monsters under the bed, my shoulder to cry on when my heart was breaking, my gps when I would get lost, my mentor, my friend, my father.

Two weeks and one day later, we gathered as family and friends in Blackfoot, Idaho, to celebrate his life, and resolve once again to live according to the principles he so diligently taught us and showed us. To live our lives with love. I hope I make him proud.

I love my daddy with all my heart. He led his life with greatness, leaving a marvelous legacy in the lives of his children. I know that he is still taking care of me, and I will see him again, for our family is sealed together for eternity.

Dad's day.

A little girl needs Daddy
For many, many things:
Like holding her high off the ground
Where the sunlight sings!
Like being the deep music
That tells her all is right
When she awakens frantic with
The terrors of the night.
Like being the great mountain
That rises in her heart
And shows her how she might get
home
When all else falls apart.
Like giving her the love
That is her sea and air,
So diving deep or soaring high
She'll always find him there.

His Sacred Name - An Easter Declaration

Princes and Princesses.

My friend wrote on her social networking status "to marry a prince, you have to become a princess." Shortly after reading that, I had asked a close friend of mine if I were a princess. I knew that he would be honest with me, as he usually tells things like they are. His answer was simple. "Yup."

I don't know about you, but when I hear the word prince, what usually comes to mind is the Snow White classic "Someday My Prince Will Come." Now that you have that tune going through your head...

I had once thought my prince did come, twice actually. Although the first was just a hope, and I wasn't a princess then. He was, however, a prince. The second I wanted him to be a prince - my prince. But he decided I wasn't his princess. I was once again locked in a tower, except now it seemed higher than ever. I believe it's still true though, one day my prince will come. Then he'll get smoked by the dragon. Yup, I'm pretty sure.

When I mentioned that to my friend, he told me that I didn't want a prince anyway. I wanted a King, who is merely a prince that is more manly. Here's how I see it going though: someday my prince will come and then he'll get smoked by the dragon. There's always a dragon. After going through that fire (or maybe in the midst of it) he'll step it up and become more manly, thus becoming a king willing to take me as his queen. And my mom tells me my life is no fairy tale! Ha!

Bit of Knowledge

I stopped by a friend's house last night to catch the last few minutes of Jimmer Fredette's college career in basketball (although I am definitely not a BYU fan most of the time, I was hoping they would go farther in the NCAA). It was while talking with this friend that I vocalized what I had been in the process of realizing over the course of the last nine months: take one day at a time.

This is something that we should all remember to do, but often forget anyway. In this conversation, of course, I was referring to dating. He's 'feeling his age' (although he really isn't THAT old) and very much wants to settle down and have a family, much like so many others in our social realm. As we are practically like family, I gave him a bit of advice, while at the same time hoping that this will somehow seep into the lives of a few others that I know even though they were not around to hear it. I told him that when he starts dating someone, and things get serious, just take it one day at a time (which really you should do from the beginning). Fears and doubts will inevitably come, both to the guy and the girl. Neither will probably talk about them, hopefully they do but they most likely won't. When you start focusing on the distant future and eternity, you're fears will increase and you start to really look for things that are wrong; you start looking for 'deal-breakers.'

It is day by day that you grow closer together, day by day that you decide 'yeah, I think I do want to spend some time with you.' Take it one day at a time and you will find that the hard work required in relationships will not seem so overwhelming. One day you will realize that she (or he) is someone you want to be around more than just a few hours every couple of days. That you like having her around and don't really want that to change. And you keep moving forward, hopefully together. Communicating with each other, learning from each other, sharing experiences together, laughing and crying together.

Not right away probably, or even after just a couple of months, but at some point you will realize that yes, this is someone with whom you could spend the rest of forever, and perhaps you even want to. It doesn't really matter how long it takes, not to those who matter at least. That is when things might start to get exciting, might start to feel exciting, but you will feel peace whether that excitement is there or not, as long as you keep those fears and doubts at bay by faith - faith in Christ, faith in yourself and the one you are dating, faith in your relationship.

At least, this has been my experience.

Time to Get Out and Do Something.

I promised to tell you about my recent-ish adventures, and now I shall fulfill that promise.

After some not-so-pleasant experiences in January (I swear, that month hates me every year!), my birthday came around in February. Close to last minute, I decided to run away to San Fransisco for my birthday weekend. I had told my roommate, and one or two other people on a need to know basis, and took off. I had an absolute blast! My ex-roommate, whom I was visiting out in California, made sure that weekend was packed full of fun! We went to Ghirardelli Square where she treated me to birthday ice cream, which was rather yummy :) We also went to Pier 39, Fisherman's Wharf, beaches, saw Alcatraz, and finally made it back home again where I was able to rest my exhausted legs. We stopped to watch a magic show and take a lot of pictures throughout the day.

The second day, after an eye opening experience at church (which I will tell you about if you ask), my ex-roommate and a new friend Farrah took me to see the Golden Gate Bridge. That is an amazing structure if you really think about it. I can see why people from that part of the country are so proud of it. That same evening, several of my host's friends came over for an ultimate frisbee dinner, which she had turned in to a 'let's celebrate Emma' dinner :) She's so silly. The host made the cake, and her roommate decorated it. They both did very well (despite what they may say). They even got my friend Braden to surprise me!! It was a perfect way to spend my birthday. Then, sadly, I had to leave and come back home. Don't think I wasn't strongly tempted to just stay out there and have my things sent to me...

A week or two later, an old college friend and her husband took me to go shooting! I already mentioned in a previous post how well the shooting went! While waiting for a lane, I got to talk to the workers a bit. Turns out one of them used to be an active member of my church but doesn't really want to live a lot of the standards we have or even just go to church. He recognized my BYU shirt and came up to give me a hard time about it. Sometimes it's funny how things can be turned around in to missionary opportunities. I look forward to more shooting range trips (and more possible missionary opportunities)!!

Hmmm....what happened next?

Oh, that's right! Two of my roommates and I went on an excursion to the Spy Museum! I don't have any pictures from there because, well, they don't let you take any. It was fun though. One of my roommates had family come join us, which made it all the more enjoyable! My other roommate and I had been before, but the rest of us were there for the first time. I got a free key chain, which was exciting, and I successfully passed the spy game! Not that many people who know me are all that surprised, but still, it's happy.

Last weekend, I went on another adventure traversing through the Shenandoah Mountains. A group of us went on a hike, where a few of us broke off for a bit from the trail and found the drop off point of the waterfall we were hoping to find! I had planned on not going on this trip actually, seeing as Joe was going on the hike and my heart still hurts quite a bit and it's likely that his does as well. But about an hour before the hike, after walking outside and feeling how beautiful a day it was, I showered, dressed, and hopped in my car to meet up with the group. Best decision I could have made that day. After the hike, we stopped on the way home to get some ice cream at the best little ice cream shop in that town. You should always end a hike with ice cream. I am really glad I went. I got to know several friends better, spend time in the great outdoors, conquer some fears, work some muscles, feel the love of my Heavenly Father, and see a little bit of improvement in one of my current situations. It was a wonderful day.

My life really is fairy tale, despite what my mother might say. Every fairy tale has rough times, but there are also those golden moments filled with friendship.

(Curtis is missing from the picture, but he was totally there! He was just the one taking the picture)

Amazing Grace

The song "Amazing Grace" always seems to touch my heart each time I hear it. So when my friend, Paul, broke down the song and found a scripture for each line, I couldn't help but share it.

Life's Lesson: Friendship

So, I carpool with one of my roommates to work every day, which gives us a lot of opportunity to chat should we desire to do so. On the way home the other day, we were talking about work and how she was feeling about school and how I was feeling about...other things. Somehow, the conversation turned to friendships and single's wards. In the midst of the conversation, we decided it was one we really should share with Sister Larsen. She has a wealth of knowledge and good advice and has this way of teaching us without us realizing it sometimes. Plus, she's an amazing woman.

Well, the opportunity came last night. I had gotten to institute early to practice with the choir and so had a few minutes to chat with Sister Larsen after choir but before class actually got started. We couldn't go very deep into the conversation because, well, class was going to start soon and my roommate would have killed me for having that conversation without her there! The two institute classes were combined, so we all studied from James Talmage's Jesus The Christ, focusing on "those things which proceed out of the mouth [which] defileth a man." I was sufficiently humbled as I listened to the discussion and reflected on those things I had said (and the way I had said them) and done, particularly over the last two months.

After institute my roommate, Sister Larsen and I sat down together and had our own little discussion.

The whole thing started when I was talking to a guy friend of mine in the ward who was frustrated with the whole single's ward scene. Granted, it's really annoying and I hate the stupid games. He was venting to me a bit because he was feeling antisocial, and he really did not like the 'social' people much just then. He was venting a bit because his roommates feel the need to go to every event anyone is putting on and be social, but they neglect the opportunities to sit down and get to know someone more one on one, and we are not necessarily talking about dating right now. On top of that, a good majority of the ward feel that a guy and a girl cannot be good friends unless they are dating or intend to date. But of course we are in a single's ward where we're only looking for an eternal companion...who needs friends, right? I hope you sense sarcasm when you read that last sentence because that is the stupidest thinking. No one has enough friends. But nearly every conversation I have at church feels very surface level and superficial, so none of us really feel like we have good friends. Well, most of us feel that way at least. I don't really consider someone just talking to me when they see me at church a friend; they are more of an acquaintance.

My roommate made a very keen observation though; We are all in the single's ward still (where the average age is about 27) because each one of us, to some degree, has a fear of commitment and even to be willing to truly be a friend and get past the superficial requires commitment. When you commit to someone on any level, you make yourself vulnerable and no one wants to feel vulnerable. (Kind of reminds me of the 'Love's Lesson: Irony' conversation I had...interesting.) This observation of my roommate's is precisely what we wanted to talk with Sister Larsen about. But when asked by the Joe's after institute what we were going to talk about with her, we couldn't very well say 'commitment.' It would have made things REALLY awkward for all individuals present.

Then the three of us (myself, my roommate, and Sister Larsen) all pulled up a chair and talked. We talked of how accurate that observation really was, and how that affects dating (you can't have a successful relationship without a friendship as it's base). We actually talked very little about dating, and kept the focus mostly on friendship and how when you get past the commitment fear and let your walls down so that you can have a close friendship, that is when you start to really care about those around you and you have a Zion society.

So, I've decided to try and change and make good friends. Perhaps it will spread, perhaps not. But I will not be one who doesn't make an effort. I will not be one of those that can't be good friends with someone just because I'm not interested in dating them. I will be one who can create opportunity to truly get to know someone and maybe make a friend or two out of it. I can't control what anyone else will do, I've learned that finally. And it may still hurt but the worst anyone can do is say 'no, I don't want that.'

In order to go out and accomplish this new mission of mine, I realize that I need to be more like the girl I was. So, I have made a resolution to not only make new and lasting friendships, but to again be one who seeks for the silver lining in each situation, to find the good. I am done complaining and venting and whatever else. It just brings me further down and makes everyone around me not as happy either. "Our words and external expressions...reflect both who we are and shape who we are becoming" (Robert S. Wood). I want to become better.

Say Something

I have had some fun adventures as of late. I ran away to San Fransisco for my birthday, which I will have to tell you all about later (you might have to remind me). I will say this much about it though, I loved going and seeing my old roommate and celebrating with her! I had a blast :) And it's good to be missed sometimes.

Last weekend I went shooting, because you know a birthday isn't really just one day. You should celebrate for the entire month! It's been about 3 years since I've been shooting. An old classmate (and dear friend) of mine took me to a local shooting range to celebrate both of our birthdays; her birthday was about a week and a half before my own. I didn't miss the picture target completely in the beginning, but I definitely wasn't doing well either! By the time our last target was up though, I was shooting 10's (which was the best on that particular target). I really should go more often.

Last night, I joined one of my roommates at a house concert for Ian Axel. I decided like his music. He's a bit quirky, which makes it much more fun to see him live. All around, it was a fun night with soup and fortune cookies (who knew that you could have a blueberry flavored fortune cookie?!) and friends and no pressure. I loved it.

You know how music just strikes a chord with you sometimes? And I really didn't intend to make a pun. You do know what I'm talking about right? We all know that different music affects us in different ways. And sometimes, a song says exactly what you've been thinking or feeling and when you can't quite explain what you're going through you can just say "It's like that song we heard that goes like..." (or you just break out singing like I sometimes do). Well, the music Ian and his friends Chad and Mike performed was like that for me a little bit.

There's been a lot of things in my life recently that has caused me to be emotional. Not that all of those things, taken one at a time, would have that result but when they are all happening at the same time....it makes me probably more emotional than just one of them would. There is, however, only one that people know about and that is Joe. Just my luck to find someone who I believe (and until that fateful night he had me and everyone else think he believed) was so compatible with me, perfect for me as some have said, and he not be ready and/or willing to keep going in our relationship. So he broke my heart...well, beat it up pretty bad at least.

I'm finally at the point where I can let him go, let the relationship go. I've tried to start when it happened and tried so hard to be strong, but I failed miserably. And I'm sure it will take some time to be able to say 'yes, I'm completely done.' But one day at a time. It's a battle of sorts. And a song I heard last night beautifully portrayed that struggle...



There is a girl who has been trying to get me and this other guy (who's practically my brother) to date arguing that we are 'perfect for each other and there is no better match' when in reality we should not ever date (not that he's not an awesome guy...we'd just kill each other!) It's almost as though she sees me as being competition. Here's the thing though: It's only been less than 2 months since I got out of a relationship with a guy to whom I gave my heart. And although I am trying to 'get out there' and move forward and move on, a heart doesn't recover so quickly. There are some wonderful guys that I know, some handsome guys that I know. But they do have a high standard now to meet, set first by Brandon (a guy from college) and now by Joe (who made me feel like I was amazing and beautiful and wonderful, and didn't just tell me that). But he's seemingly already moved on. And the more I learn about this new girl he is interested in, the more similarities I find between her and me. It's quite weird actually. And it sometimes makes it hurt all over again.

Joe has his own decisions to make. A small part of me says to him 'yes Joe, go for [not going say] and then you might just see what you walked away from.' But the more part of me truly wants him to be happy. I've always wanted him to be happy. And I do miss him, mostly because he will sometimes come up to me like we're friends and the other times he will avoid me as though I had the plague and he would get it just by looking at me. When he does that, I get so frustrated!! Most people don't realize that, because I still try to be strong. But my roommates certainly do! I want him to be a part of my life because I want the thing I miss the most, his friendship. With his friendship came his goodness and being able to just talk to him and have a real conversation. And I still defend him, probably always will. He is still a good man, one of the most amazing men I know, but I do deserve better. Which brings me to another point: what I learned.

I learned something through this whole thing. I learned that the man I deserve doesn't exist. You may be laughing, or trying to say to me 'whatever, he does exist, you just haven't found him yet (or he hasn't found you).' But that is not true. The man I deserve doesn't exist. That is what a relationship is for. When you have someone you care about and you want things to work between the two of you, you see what they deserve and work to become that person. Currently, there is no man who knows me well enough to truly know what I deserve and is willing to work with me (not on their own but with me) to become that man I deserve. Therefore, he does not exist. He will one day though.

As I said before, there are other things that have caused emotions to surface (but you're not going to hear about them), and most of the time I do not cry over the Joe situation anymore. Been there, done that. Although, admittedly, I do still get sad sometimes at night when I can't sleep and feel the loneliness and heartache and sense of betrayal and break of trust. But when those feelings come, I get down on my knees and pray really hard until peace and comfort and love replace those negative feelings. That is the only way I can move forward. It's at those times that I imagine Heavenly Father sitting me down and telling me, "You'll be okay. I'm here."

Lifting Burdens: The Atonement of Jesus Christ

He can heal us. Come unto Him and be transformed.

Love's Lesson: Ironies

For my birthday weekend, I ran away to San Fransisco. I met a man while I was there, one who is attractive, young, and engaged, and fell easily in to conversation with him. Not really that hard to do since I'm usually a friendly and outgoing person (or at least outgoing enough to meet new people) and he is the same. Plus, there was only a small number of us at the dinner where I had met him. What is the point of me telling you of this man that I met? He had said something that made sense even then, but I have still been thinking often of it. We'll call this man that I met by his name, Nate.

There is a second man in my story, whom I met at the same time. We'll call him Steve. The three of us were talking, with a few others listening and agreeing at various points of our conversation, about relationships. We came to the conclusion that there are relationships that I am sure each of us have been in that, when they ended, we were relieved to be out of them. Notice I did not necessarily say happy (although there may be some of those too!), but relieved, like a burden had been lifted from our shoulders. And there are other relationships that once they ended we were truly heartbroken.

It was towards the end of this conversation when Nate had spoken those several sentences that have held my thoughts even a few days after leaving San Fransisco. He explained the irony about relationships. Here is what he had said: You want to enter a relationship with these walls you have built up, protecting yourself and your heart from pain. (And the more relationships you have had, the higher and thicker those walls tend to be.) But in order for a relationship to really work, you have to give your whole heart, despite the risks. If you don't, you will never have a relationship that works. It's when we feel completely vulnerable, when those walls and those guards are down, that we will find strength in our relationship. But both parties need to do that; both need to allow themselves to be vulnerable and give to the other whole heartedly. Yes, that does mean that should the relationship end it will be heart breaking; however, it is also the only way you will really find a relationship that does work out the way each of us want. Ironic, isn't it?

Now the question is can I do that?

Choices

So, my dad called me this morning and asked that I would assist him with a talk he is giving at church on Sunday. A high councilman was supposed to be scheduled, but by some craziness, no one was scheduled. My dad, feeling that he didn't have time to call a ward member, decided he needed to speak and called for my thoughts on the topic: choice.

I will admit, once I heard the topic, I broke down just a little bit and started to cry. You see, choice is a very tender subject with me currently as I recently found out that someone whom I care about so very much has chosen to cut our relationship. It's hard when anyone tells you heartbreaking news, and I felt that I did pretty good on the day after, as my emotions were brought to the surface more because I realized I had no car and therefore could no longer go home to visit (due to an accident I got into just after leaving a friend's house)...missing my nephew's birthday celebration, and missing my opportunity to get a much needed father's blessing. As it is, all of those emotions unrelated to my car and visit situation and mostly related to the feeling of not being wanted were on the surface today. Anyway, that's a little more information than you probably needed to know. But, in some sense, you needed to know as it plays in intricate part into my current perspective of choice, of agency.

I started my little project for my dad by going to lds.org and researching "choice." I read many talks and articles on the topic and took some great notes that I had hoped to utilize. But after a while, I realized that he really did want my thoughts on the topic. He didn't want my researched and analyzed conclusions taken from other people's addresses to the general assembly of the Church. Now, my thoughts were stemmed both from the recent experiences in my own life, as well as the counsel from the general leaders of my church, The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints.

Doctrine and Covenants 98:8 states "I, the Lord God, make you free therefore you are free indeed and the law also maketh you free." Freedom, or freedom to choose, is a God-given privilege. One that we will have no matter what we do, no matter in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. In other words, we all have the right to choose. President David O. McKay has said "Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God's greatest gift to man."

As President Thomas S. Monson has reminded us, "some [choices] are trivial, some more far-reaching. Some will make no difference in the eternal scheme of things, and others will make all the difference."

With every right comes responsibility, and choice is no exception. We cannot be neutral; there is no middle ground. In fact, "when you have to make a choice and don't make it, that in and of itself is a choice" (William James). We all know that decisions are constantly before us. Just this morning I had to decide whether to use new or used parts on my car. To make those decisions wisely, courage is needed. We need the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. "Decisions do determine destiny" (Thomas S. Monson) We need then, the determination (and courage) to do what is right because it is right, even when it is hard.

I came across the For The Strength Of Youth pamphlet and read under the title Agency & Accountability: "You are a child of God with great strength. You have the ability to choose righteousness and happiness, no matter what your circumstances."

Now, when I read that, it hit me hard. I am a child of God. I am His daughter. And I have great strength. I have very recently felt His strong and loving arms around me. A few nights ago, after hearing some terrible news, I thought it would be another night of crying myself to sleep with the only difference being that this time I knew what had happened. After saying my prayers (a choice I could not give up because that is the only means I have to speak with my Heavenly and Eternal Father, much like the cell phone is the only means I have to speak with my earthly father), I was still crying. The pain and heartache didn't go away immediately. But in those few moments just after laying down my head and just before falling asleep, there was such peace that came over me which otherwise would not have come had I not chosen to talk to my Father and call on the power of the Atonement to give me comfort.

When I woke up the next morning, it was almost like Heavenly Father had been sitting with me all night, like a parent who would stay stroking the head of their dearly beloved child during a night of sickness or heartache. That peace was still with me although the circumstances hadn't changed. I decided I needed to fast, after all, I knew I wouldn't be able to eat. I couldn't even take more that just a couple of swallows of my hot chocolate the night before, and if anyone knows me, you know that hot chocolate is probably the my most favorite thing in the world and it doesn't last long when I'm around!

I decided to fast, and that made all the difference that next day. The fast I had intended was not the fast that I had offered. I intended to seek comfort and strength and understanding for myself to help me get through this struggle in my life. But when I offered my prayer in the morning, that was not the words or intentions that came out. I chose to let the Spirit guide me. I chose to look outside of myself.

The next point from For The Strength Of Youth: I have the ability to choose righteousness and happiness, no matter what your circumstances. Choosing righteousness does not always bring happiness in and of itself. Just look at the pioneers. They chose to follow God and do their best to live His commandments. What did they get? Persecution, death, frozen hands and feet, swamplands to build, and so many other disheartening things. But what did they choose? "Come, come ye saints. No toil nor labor fear. But with joy wend your way." On the flip side, how many people do you know who seem to have everything? A good home, a great job, money in savings, the ideal image, and yet they do not act or look happy? There are many, many people who fit that description. You can choose to be happy even in the most dire of circumstances.

I got an email from an old college friend this morning who wanted to offer me comfort from my recent happenings. She stated that she was sorry for what had happened but hope that I found great comfort in knowing that Heavenly Father knows what He is doing and I have every reason to look forward to what He has planned for me. Then she remarked on how I was always the optimistic one. Although I didn't feel very optimistic in this situation, I found great comfort in her words. I usually was the optimistic one and I don't completely see why, in this situation, I shouldn't choose to be optimistic. Life is hard. It always will be hard. But we have the choice of whether we will let life beat us down because of the choices we made, or the choices others have made that affected us either a little or significantly or whether we will look for that silver lining in the clouds and find happiness (most often found in the little things). We choose to let 'come what may, and love it.' For it is through the little choices we make each day, the choice of whether to kiss our wife good morning, or say thank you to the man who holds the door open for us, or help our children with homework (or our parents with chores); the choice to open our scriptures and read them to learn of our Lord and Savior and how to become more like Him, or to get down on our knees and offer a prayer of thanks for keeping us safe in our home or the food which we have in order to open the communication from us to our Heavenly Father that we will find the greatest happiness.

There is one thing that we do not choose, and that is to have a relationship with our Lord. However, the strength and depth of that relationship is self-determined. I chose to be a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints, and thereby chose to live the gospel of Jesus Christ no matter in which circumstances I find myself, no matter what time or day of the year.

I came across one admonition today from Bishop Richard C. Edgley that has helped me much this afternoon as I have had a near breakdown once again. "Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism."

So, when you have a choice that seems difficult (and I'm not talking about which color shirt to wear), then it really comes down to whether you will choose to have faith. Faith that things will work out, faith in yourself and those around you, faith that the Atonement really does apply to you and will cover not only your sins but your heartaches and sicknesses and everything else that can cause you pain (it really does, you know!), even when you make a poor decision. Don't get me wrong, I know that sometimes faith will falter. That is when we need to get on our knees and ask for strength to endure. I refuse believe that it is wrong to pray for faith, but again, we even have to choose to do that.

Ring Out The Old...

As you have probably determined by now, I am not one to update a blog often. I even struggled with my goal of once a month! Of course, I'm not all that better with my journal, although I try to write in that once a day. I average about...oh....okay, maybe we shouldn't discuss that. But this year will be different! Mostly because I currently have a plethora of time while at "work."

I've decided that if I really wanted to "ring out the old," I would have to think of what the old is; I would have to let all the events and memories of this last year (2010) come to the forefront of my mind. So, what were some highlights in the life of this American Lady that had occurred in the year of 2010?

1. Snowmageddon. Dear old Mother Nature and Father Winter got together and decided to let my part of the world have the winter we've all been missing (and not many wanted, although I loved it!). We ended up having three snow storms and about 2 weeks off of work. Well, some of us did. I worked retail, so I was not part of that some. Although, there were a couple of days where even the mall shut down! Happy new year to me :D

2. I had the wonderful blessing of being home with my parents, sister and sister's family over my birthday weekend. Sharon had made me a wonderfully cute "sweethearts" cake, as my birthday is around Valentine's day and my niece decided that it needed one more decoration before being presented: her little finger marks where she wanted icing, or cake. I went home again in the summer when my other sister could come. The three sisters together again! Good times, and much making fun of the Twilight series, were had. Of course, that didn't stop us from getting the Twilight sweetheart candies from Walmart (haha!). They were actually pretty tasty.

3. Someone (or someones) broke in to my house. And yes, they did take things, as I know you're next question was 'did they take anything?' Four single ladies living in one house - there was a lot to take that could give them fast cash. It was hard (understatement of the year) but I would have to agree with one of my roommates that the greatest thing that was stripped from us was our sense of security and peace. Even now, I freak out a bit when I think someone tries to open the door or I think I hear something I shouldn't. I was the one to first find that we had been violated. It was, then, my responsibility to tell all my roommates. The same thing happened when my house caught fire while I was in high school. I was the first to find out in my family, and it was then my responsibility to tell my parents and the rest of my family. I saw my church congregation (my ward) come together though and do all they knew to do to ease our financial, physical, emotional and spiritual strain. And from that same night on, I prayed for those who had stolen from us. I didn't pray that they would be caught; I prayed that they needed those things more than we did. That little act really helped me not harbor anger, and for that I am grateful.

4. Eric came to visit me! During his mid-tour leave, he decided he needed to spend some time with me and took me to many of the places around my hometown that I have never been, like the Spy Museum and the Crime and Punishment Museum and the Aquarium and Lurray Caverns and a few other places. It was a blast! And I loved having him visit.

5. I actually had dates! And quite a lot of them (well, by my standards at least)! After my week-long date with Eric, there was Greg, Craig, Nelly, Kurt, Joe, and I think that is all. A couple of those first dates resulted in second dates. And one of them turned into a still current relationship that spanned the majority of the year. He's absolutely wonderful and I couldn't ask for anyone better.

6. My (favorite) roommate, from Virginia of course (if any of my other past roommates are reading this!), who had been my roommate for 4 years, moved across the country to California. I know she needed to go, but I still didn't want her to. She's the closest friend I had, and with whom else could I have late night hallway chats?

7. I moved. I have three new roommates and we live in a quint little townhouse (with an AMAZING kitchen) even further from the District. It's very nice, and my roommates are wonderful! Of course, no one could replace the one who moved to Cali! But, you work with what you have, and I have a happy and content home...and a REALLY small room.

8. Christmas in July! Some of the summer sales guys that my roommates and I got to know, as well as the sister missionaries, were invited for a Christmas-in-July dinner, which I hosted. It was very fun to do and helped to focus on the real meaning of Christmas rather than what gifts to get for whom. None of the guys still talk to me, but hey, that's life.

9. I managed one of the Fire & Ice jewelry stores over the summer and while there, met Larry King. Yes, THE Larry King, the one with the late night show. I sold him my favorite 14k diamond heart necklace for his wife, to whom he is still married. Yes, he is still married to her. Don't listen to the stupid gossip magazines, since they make things up for attention anyway. Life has enough drama, we don't need to read the media magazines to create more!

10. I got a new job. I GOT A NEW JOB!! And this time, a career job...outside of retail! I'm stoked.

The top 10 in '10 (in no particular order) is good enough for me. I'm sure there are plenty more memories that I could quickly recall, but these are the 10 most impressionable on my mind. 2010 has been trying physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. In some respect, it has been the worst year I remember; but at the same time, it is by far the best. Seems the worst and the best are very much intertwined, just as Charles Dickens observed: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us...."