Little Flirt

Today at Mommy and Me, Tyler took very good care of Anna, and for her part, she ate up all the attention.

When she first got to the playground, she almost immediately fell down and started fussing.  Out of nowhere came Tyler, ready to do a silly dance to cheer her up.  Of course, it worked.  Later, he took her hand, led her to the little kid side of the playground, and lifted her up on a piece of equipment that the kids were all playing on.  Then, he lifted her down and led her back.

They were also all cozy together during the fish and turtle spotting.  Tyler would point out the fish and ask Anna if she saw them.  So cute. He is going to be a GREAT big brother to his new baby sibling. 

Anna also enjoyed playing with her new neighbor, Charlotte, who came with us.

She is growing up far too fast.  Flirting, making friends...it is so cute, but I just want them to stay little forever:).  I've decided that I love our life, and I'm not even close to ready for them to start school.  I know it's still a few years away, but with time going as fast as it is, it feels like tomorrow.  I just want to stop the clock for awhile and savor every day that we have as a little insulated family.  God is so good!

Fun in the Lowcountry

For the past two days, we have taken advantage of the unique area in which we live.  While Luke was at preschool yesterday, Anna and I went downtown and checked out the museum.  She especially liked the interactive children's exhibit that told the history of the lowcountry.

Here she is in a replica of the Edmonton-Alston house drinking "tea" from her silver tea set and wearing a colonial hat.

We then left the museum and went to have a picnic lunch at Drayton Hall (we have a reciprocal pass from volunteering, so this is all free, btw).

We found a lovely picnic spot under these two trees.

Then, we walked the grounds...

...and saw the river.  Next, we took part of the house tour, but had to leave to pick up Luke from preschool.  I can't wait to go back and hear the rest of the tour:).

Then today, for Mommy and Me, we went to the same county park we visited last week with our family.  First, we played on the cool playground.

We also saw lots of turtles and big fish.

Then we climbed an observation tower and got a good view of the marsh.

And then we played at the area around the tower.  It was so fun, and the weather was absolutely gorgeous.  We are very grateful to live in such a unique and beautiful place!

Herding Cats

Luke had his first soccer practice today.  It was hilarious and chaotic.  The phrase, "herding cats" kept popping into my mind as the poor coach (a parent, of course, who, like the rest of us, had no idea what he was doing) tried to maintain some semblance of order and instruction.  I can safely say that this practice was not at all like the military drills he was used to doing on the weekends!  The other parents had to jump in often to help do the drills, but we mainly just laughed and took pictures from the sidelines:

Here is Luke before practice.

Anna was quite taken with his smooth, shiny shirt!

Luke and his buddy, Noah.

Future soccer champs.  Go number 4!

During an ill-fated cone exercise, Luke looked up to see the camera and immediately started mugging:).

The coach is not clapping:).  His hands are headed to his head and eyes.  The cones just didn't work out:).

This pint-sized princess was by far the most talented on the team.  And by that, I mean that she could listen and execute instruction beautifully.  Luke did fairly well, but he had his head in the clouds a lot:).

A good action shot.

Who knows what these goobers are doing!

The supportive siblings.

The coach came over to his wife toward the end to ask how much time there was left.  She said, "Well, maybe play a few more minutes and then we'll have snacks."  He looked at her helplessly and said, "I'm ready for snacks now!"  It was all too funny. 

Seeing the comedy of a three year old soccer league makes me laugh even more at the fact that we have twenty-eight three year old teams in our league.  Twenty-eight!  And this is not a big town!  That stat alone gives you an idea of some of the chaos that reigned on the YMCA fields this morning!

Happy Pictures, Sad Picture

Luke folded and stacked these washcloths all by himself this morning.  It makes me very happy to see what a good helper he can be.

I also met my New Year's Resolution today.  My goal was to run 100 days this year, and I did it.  I'm going to try and squeeze in 30 more days before the year's end.  We'll see how it goes.

Today's run was pretty abysmal though, mainly due to the humidity.  Thinking of the hot weather brings me to my sad picture, which I used in my Project 365:

This is a beautiful autumn leaf that Luke brought home from preschool.  Since it is now officially fall, his class learned all about the season yesterday and even went on a walk outside to find some fall leaves.  He brought two home. 

Why is this picture sad, you ask?  Because the leaf is silk.  The teachers had to spread silk leaves on the sidewalk for the kids to find:).  My poor children are probably never going to truly know what "fall" looks and feels like.

On the bright side, though, they will probably never know what "winter" looks and feels like, either:).

Family Visit

On Sunday, Uncle Chris, Aunt Jill, and cousin Jack came for a visit.  We were so happy to see them.

On Monday, we went to a state park.

Then we went to Just Fresh for lunch.

And then to a cupcake place for dessert.

On Tuesday, we went to the Children's Museum:

And then to Juanita Greenberg's for lunch.

Then, sadly, Chris, Jill, and Jack had to move on to their next vacation destination:).  We had a great time with them and are so glad that they came to visit!

How to Legally Vote Multiple Times (Part 3)

"Beware the Sleeper Cell"

Now, I understand that being a politicized citizen takes a lot out of you. For one, there is so much passion and thought that goes into politics. It's exhausting, really. Then, combine that with the frustration of having to live in a world where so many people are wrong, and you probably find yourself needing to vent. When you need to vent, you tend to find a like-minded group of people and just share your political thoughts/frustrations in a rather uncensored manner. You're with friends who understand, you know. You're not trying to debate anything, so you aren't really being careful with your comments or facts. You're just venting. It's a cathartic exercise, and it also serves to reassure you that you are not crazy. Other people agree with you that the other side is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

While venting can be helpful and can blow off steam, there is one thing you need to be very careful of if you hope to be an effective catalyst for political change. You must, must, must be wary of the sleeper cell. The sleeper cell is a person who seems like a reasonable, like-minded person, but who in reality is a swing-voter. A moderate. Or, God forbid, on the other side. The sleeper cell will rarely identify themselves in the conversation. They feel, rather, that they have just wandered into a cave of sleeping bears. The bears won't hurt them as long as they don't know that they are there. So the sleeper cell backs away slowly. Or, if they are trapped, they will rely on their handy arsenal of empathetic, neutral phrases.

"Wow, that sounds frustrating."

"Yes, that would be scary."

"We must remember what's important."

Etc.

But all the while, the sleeper cell is thinking, "Wow, this is scary. Why do they automatically assume I'm a card-carrying member of their party? When can I get out of here?" And needless to say, in your cleansing vent, you are not convincing the sleeper cell of the rationality of your beliefs. If anything, you are alienating the sleeper cell.

Which is fine, unless you are trying to be a good influence. A light for your party, you know.

Now, you might think the sleeper cell is being cowardly. Why don't they speak up? Wake the sleeping bears? Why don't they get into an impromptu big debate or brave the awkwardness or incredulity that comes with self-identification?

There are several reasons. One, the sleeper cell doesn't want to get into it. Based on your venting, the sleeper cell has probably concluded that it is a lost cause in the first place and that no good can come from it. Only if you show yourself to be an exceptionally rational person will the sleeper cell engage. Secondly, as your brother or sister, the sleeper cell loves you. Most likely, the sleeper cell shares the same religion as you, which the sleeper cell views as vastly more important than your political views. Most likely, the sleeper cell is wondering why we are venting about politics in the middle of the church foyer of a politically diverse congregation in the first place. Most likely, the sleeper cell is hoping and praying that even if you did know that they were a sleeper cell, that you would view your bond in Christ as deeper than party affiliation. Most likely, the sleeper cell is hoping that, by remaining silent, we can all unify around causes of eternal significance, of causes centering around actually bringing our populace to Christ and not to a political party.

I'm just speculating on all that, though:). You'll have to ask a sleeper cell personally if you ever find yourself in that position.

In the meantime, please remember, as politically passionate people, that you do your party no favors by relying on tactics that are not in line with the teachings of Jesus. And that the unity we have in Christ is far more, infinitely more important than a worldly party affiliation. And even more important than getting to legally vote multiple times.

And this concludes our series:).

How to Legally Vote Multiple Times (Part 2)

"The Temptation to Avoid"

Unfortunately for those who are trying to convince an "other-minded" person of anything, human beings are notoriously hard to convert by facts alone. I know, I know, we all (myself included) THINK we are reasonable people whose views depend solely on a rational response to available data, but the truth is a bit more more complicated than that. Among other things, we apparently become emotionally attached to our beliefs, and we don't give them up so easily. Thus, a fact that contradicts our beliefs will find us scurrying to find another fact that contradicts the first fact. Having done so, we revert to our original beliefs, content that the two contradictory facts just cancel each other out.

So an appeal to the facts must be thorough, rigorous, and well-presented.

BUT. There is one thing that can shape us much more quickly than facts. See, facts appeal to the intellect, and the intellect is slow to budge. But there ARE certain emotions you can appeal to, which will make us much more pliable. By far, the best emotions I've found to appeal to if you want to change someone's mind are fear and anger.

You make someone afraid or angry enough, and you have provided a catalyst for real change in that person. Fear and anger are, turns out, powerful and motivating factors.

Now, unfortunately, there are some slight problems with this technique. For one, it makes an appeal to irrationality, which in itself is not a great testimony for the rock-solidness of your position. Appealing to fear and anger is kind of a white flag, which says, "Sorry. I don't actually have a lot of supporting data, but I CAN tell you that if the other side wins, you are going to lose all your freedoms, and America will most certainly crumble into a big dust heap." I have heard such dire prognoses from both ends of the political spectrum. At first, I must admit, they are powerful, especially when a LOT of people around you are saying them. Unfortunately, they are also a little shop-worn, and the longer the swing-voter lives without seeing the coming of the apocalypse, the more skeptical they become of fear tactics.

The biggest problem with this technique is applicable only to Christians. And that is that fear and anger are generally unbiblical emotions.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." I John 4:18.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous lifestyle that God desires." James 1:19-20


So, in a lot of cases, to push an argument based on fear and anger is to lead another person into sin. And that, my friends, is to be avoided for Christians. Now, I know that there are rational fears sometimes. And I'm not saying it's not okay to voice them. But it's not as helpful to voice fears you've imagined will STEM from those fears. For example, a rational "fear" might be: "I'm just afraid of all the money we are spending right now, and the health care reform that has been discussed will cost so much more." An irrational fear might stem from that: "Judging from their disregard for wise spending, I'm just afraid that this current administration has no concern for our country or its people." And that's a mild example. When one starts talking about secret police squads and death panels, the conversation disintegrates from there.

So, to sum up, fear and anger are powerful allies for the politically passionate. It's true that, due to the frailty of the human condition, they are often more effective than appeals to simple facts and logic. But a politically passionate person must keep in mind that many swing-voters have become immune to such tactics due to their overuse.

And the Christian, politically passionate person must also keep in mind that such tactics are at best, not helpful to the Kingdom, and at worst, um, wrong.

Stay Tuned for Part 3: Beware of the Sleeper Cell

How to Legally Vote Multiple Times (Part 1)

Here’s the deal: you are a passionate, informed person of a certain political persuasion. You care deeply for your country and your country’s future, and you want to do all you can to speak up for what’s best for it. But the problem is, you only get one vote. One vote! And what’s worse, some ignoramus who has no idea about what’s going on in the world, or some crazy person who has completely outlandish views gets the same amount of votes as you! The same amount of influence! What is a passionate, informed citizen to do?

How about this solution? You get other people to vote the same as you. Now, keep in mind, for this to be effective, it’s going to have to be people who otherwise would have voted differently than you. Converting a like-minded person would do no good, see. So let’s focus on the differently minded people.

Now...how to do this...how do you use language to help another person, a person of a different persuasion, think the way you think? Well, I have a few ideas.

First, you have to realize that there are different degrees of belief, which we’ll divide into two large categories. The first type have totally made up their minds, are totally sure they are right, and are most likely voting like their daddy and granddaddy are voting. Now, while they aren't a totally lost cause, the most you can hope to do is to get them to acknowledge some complexity in the issues. They will not change their vote. Overall, you’ll have more success with the second group of people. The second group is conflicted to some degree. Their beliefs aren’t rock-solid. They see complexity in the issue, and they have a relatively open mind. I am actually a bit of an expert on this group, b/c I belong to it. Unfortunately, I was not born with that wonderful gift of a firm belief that I am always right. I lament this; such assurance seems heavenly:). But as such, I am the type of person that you, the politically passionate person, need to target. I think we are called “swing-voters.” We lean one way, yes, but we can be swayed to the other side. A “swing-voter” is rarely in the middle, but they ARE pliable.

The swing-voter is your ticket to multiple votes. We are there for the taking. Convert us, and it’s like voting twice:). So, because I appreciate your passion, and because I feel sorry for your one-vote dilemma, I’ll give you a few helpful tips on how to multiply your political influence. Short of attaining political office, this is the single most effective way to wield power as a citizen, from what I can tell.

To lure us, you must use a bait called Civil Discourse. It’s one of those things where it’s easier to tell you what it’s NOT, than what it is. So I’m going to give you some tips on strategies to avoid. It’s more like,

“How Not to Engage in Civil Discourse”

1. Make every conversation a competition. Talking to a swing-voter is not an audition for the debate team. You don’t lose a point if you make a concession. That’s because there are no points! There are no winners or losers. Remember, the point is not to prove how smart you are or how stupid the other side is. The point is to get at the truth. Which brings us to tip #2.

2. Avoid referring to the other side as “stupid,” or even worse, “evil.” The reason that swing-voters are, well, swing-voters is because they don’t automatically possess that black-and-white vision. They are not tempted to compare everything they disagree with to the Nazi regime. They just don’t think like that. In fact, they view that type of “we are good and they are evil” thinking as close-minded and spiritually naïve. This is such a common pitfall of the passionate, political person. So let me just be clear on this: if you want your listeners to shut down, just call the other side stupid or evil. Those are special code words that tell the swing-voter, “Move on. This guy is not close to the truth.”

3. Start any sentence with, “Glenn Beck/Keith Olbermann/Rush Limbaugh/John Stewart said....” Thinking people who are leaning one way do not listen to the talking heads or pundits on the other side. They WILL listen to the pundits on their side, which is not fair, I know. But that’s the way it is. Don’t quote talking heads to them. They want the facts, people!:) And I know it’s a casual conversation and you don’t have Google with you, but the more specific you could be with your sources, the better:). Thanks.

4. Scream. Use a raised tone. Employ sarcasm. Insert a cute political joke designed to make the other side seem idiotic. Avoid. These. Pitfalls.

The bottom line is that Civil Discourse acknowledges the other side. It acknowledges the complexity of the issue. It refuses to oversimplify. It is willing to make concessions. It is willing to point out weak spots of its own view instead of gloss over them. It refuses to ignore facts that disagree with it. It pursues the truth. It is respectful. And, if used correctly, it can be more effective than your vote.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The Sweet, Sweet Temptation to Avoid

PS. I was motivated to write these blogs by this letter to the editor in my newspaper. I agree wholeheartedly with this officer, and I really believe that it is time for some civil discourse. At the very least, it's time to come out of our own echo chambers. I fear that Christians on both sides are hardening into shells by shutting out any voice that disagrees with them. That's not politically effective, and frankly, it's not good for people's souls.

Achievement and Limitations

While watching the 2-3 year olds during morning worship this past Sunday, I was so impressed with the kids' teamwork in building this tower.  We all started building a square fort, while Abby began stacking single blocks together.  Will eventually convinced her to add her single blocks to our fort, and the tower went straight up from there.  When they could no longer reach to put the blocks on top, I suggested that they get chairs.  They thought that was a great idea, and they worked so well together, with someone holding the tower so it wouldn't fall, while others stacked blocks.  I was totally reminded of the Tower of Babel, and I reflected that it was a good thing that God mixed up their languages.  If two year olds can work this well together and be so effective, imagine what adults could do!:)

So the tower was quite an achievement.  The next day, though, Luke met with a limitation.  We were drawing with sidewalk chalk on the patio, and we were taking turns drawing train cars.  I drew in blue, and he would do pink.  You can see Luke's three-year-old attempt with the pink underneath the one that's more on the first-grade level (that would be mine).  After Luke's initial scribbles, he looked at our train and said, "I don't like mine."  That really struck me b/c he has never before criticized anything that he's done.  I asked him why not, and he shrugged matter-of-factly, "It's just not very good."  He looked back at his other train car.  "And I don't like that one.  It's not very good, either."  Those proclamations made me feel sad, and I began to comfort him a little bit, saying that I liked them, and things like that.  Then, I realized something.  His cars were not very good:).  He was very right about that.  And for another thing, he hardly put any time into drawing them, instead opting to scribble haphazardly so that it would be my turn to draw again.  I realized that he was thinking critically about what he had done and was evaluating it from an accurate point of view.

The more I thought about it, I was actually quite proud of him.  So I said, "Well, buddy, why don't we work together to make them look more like train cars?"  He agreed readily.  And so we did.  He held the chalk, and I guided his hand, and he was very pleased with the results. 

I just wanted to write that little anecdote down because it seems like a milestone of sorts.  My son does not lack confidence:).  He is quite sure that he is great (which he is:)).  And for him to think critically about his efforts is not a bad thing, I think.  Rather, it is a little step toward maturity. 

Then yesterday, I met with a limitation.  I had realized that Luke and I had not had a good talk about being nice to everyone and looking out for others before he started preschool.  And that is very important.  So on the way home from school yesterday, after asking all about his day, I broached the subject:

"Luke, when you're at school and someone is sad, or upset, or hurt, do you ever help them?"

He thought about it.  "Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't."

"Oh, okay.  Well, why don't you help them sometimes?"

"I just don't."

"Hmmm.  Well, you know, God wants us to always try and help other people and look out for them.  It makes Him really happy when we do that.  And our whole job is to make God happy because God loves us so much."  I went on a bit from there, trying to hammer the point home. 

Luke paused, taking it all in.  "Mama, I changed my mind about something."

"Oh?"  I wondered if he had changed his mind about his past behavior of helping people, or maybe he was thinking of how he was going to act in the future.  "What did you change your mind about, buddy?"

"I only want fourteen children."

This is down from his previous desire for twenty. 

Oh well.  I was sure that my little speech had been a winner, but apparently not so much.  I look forward to many more conversations with a brick wall:).

Boy Crazy

Let's start with the facts:  Anna is a princess.

Everyone has gotten the memo.  Including all the boys in her life:).

It really does seem like so many of the little boys that she plays with go out of their way to take care of and entertain her.  And she responds with adoration.  The major examples are our friends Tyler and Canon.  Both of them take such good care of her.  Tyler, who is almost five, will, of his own volition, run and get her a chair if she does not have one to sit in.  He will comfort her if she is ever upset.  He will help her if she's in a jam.  We parents watched in amusement one night over dinner as Tyler tried various ways to impress Anna on the back porch.  He was a one man show, and he was very successful in his mission, as Anna was dying laughing.  Then, she accidentally bumped her head.  Those who know Anna know how a head bumping is a betrayal of the highest order, and, even though she was okay, she wailed.  Tyler leapt into action, and after the traditional means of comforting (patting on the back and head, etc) didn't work, he began to do a silly dance in front of her.  This tactic worked wonders.  Before long, her tears were dry, and she was back to cracking up at the silly boy in front of her.  Similarly, Canon watches out for her and tries his best to comfort her whenever she is upset.

They are very sweet boys.  This fact is not lost on Anna.

In fact, her first two stabs at sentences involved Tyler and Canon.  The first sentence came on that night we were going to dinner at their house.  Anna apparently knew this from our conversations during the day, because sometime in the afternoon, she abruptly burst out with, "Bye bye...Canon's...house."  As in, "Let's go to Canon's house."  This was the first three word sentence that she has ever said.  A few days later, we were driving down a road with neighborhoods on either side, and she said, "Tyler's...house...see."  As in, "I see Tyler's house."  She was so proud of herself for spotting Ty's house, though we were on the other side of town at the time:).  And then, last night after church, Anna saw a red minivan (just like Ty and Canon's, but not), and exclaimed, "Tyler's house!" 

Those boys really get her talking.

Her boy-craziness has been mainly limited to Ty and Canon, but yesterday at church, little Will took a-liking to her.  I was "on duty" during services in the 2-3 year old room, so she was in with me, Luke, and the others.  Like Ty and Canon, two-year-old Will also apparently realized Anna's princess status and acted accordingly.  He decided that Anna needed help walking wherever she went.  And help with doing whatever she was doing.  And lots of hugs and encouragement.  I was cracking up when, after guiding her to the table for snacks and finding no empty seat beside her, he dragged a chair from across the room so that he could sit by her.  And then, he proceeded to feed her.  I was able to eventually assure him that Anna could feed herself, but not before I took a couple pictures:

Hopefully, we can curb this behavior a bit before she hits her teens:).  By then, she'll have all the boys eating out of her hands:).

Happy Birthday, Mike

Today was my brother's birthday. He would have been 27. We spent Labor Day and today with my parents in Macon and had a really good visit with them. On Labor Day, they had some friends over to grill out and swim. Our dear friend, Mrs. Marcia, brought a "cake" for Mike:

I'm not sure of the significance of the cornbread, and I forgot to ask. It might have been something that she made that Mike loved. He was always passionate about the food he loved:).

She also brought some balloons to send up to Mike, with cards to write messages on. Luke helped Daddy sign his card:

And off they went:

It was so sweet of Mrs. Marcia, and a wonderful way to remember Mike with some of the people who loved him.

So, for his birthday gift, I will post something that he would have loved. He and I always had a list of things the other had to see/read/listen to. I would recommend, for example, Finding Neverland (which he loved--I knew he would:)), and he'd recommend Gone, Baby, Gone (which I liked, but it scarred me for life). We'd do the same with books, tv shows, and web clips. It was like our opinion of the thing wasn't complete until the other had seen it and we had discussed it. One of the things that strangely bothered me the most was that, at the time of his death, he had not seen a)Slumdog MIllionaire, b) the end of Battlestar Galactica, which he'd fallen in love with after watching an episode with us, and c) this video clip. (It bothered me to the point that my first dream about him was of me getting to watch all these things with him. Don't ask me why this was such an issue for me.)

So here's the clip. I knew he'd love it because it combines dancing, silliness, adventure/travel, and children, all of which he loves. I could totally see my brother doing this if he had the means--though he was a much better dancer than this guy:). Oh, and sorry it has a cuss word in the title. I didn't name it, people (and Mike would not have minded at all:)).

Happy birthday, Bubba.