I am always amazed at how one interaction can just get you for the day - for the good or the bad. Yesterday I had a few interactions with my students that left me with my blood boiling. I was ready to start throwing punches or throw the students out the window, I was seriously considering both options. But I attempted to hold it in. The two things that I can't handle are outright disrespect and outright lying. Yesterday I was so lucky to experience both. It makes me so sad to see kids at this age make choices that I know will lead to more serious bad choices. I don't understand what there is to gain over lying about small and insignificant things - or yelling at your teacher as she tries to approach you about something that you did during class.
Today was a much better day, the next day always seems to feel this way. Although my pathological liar is still a liar, I am trying to find ways to deal with it and reinforce honesty whenever I can. My disrespectful student, I realized last night, will be disrespectful to me and every other adult in his life, whether I like it or not. So what do I do? I pray for patience to get me through these next three months. I pray not just for patience, but for good interactions with these kids as well because that's why I teach, right? I teach because I like to feel like I'm making a difference - and maybe the only difference I can make will be brought about by my not giving up on them.
I remember talking to my brother TJ, who was also a teacher, about a particularly difficult student I had my first year teaching. I was so caught up in helping this student and trying to change him that I was seriously getting upset. Nothing I did changed this student or the way he reacted toward school or me. As I explained the situation to my brother, he reminded me that not even Christ could save everyone. Yes, he offered the atonement which is the tool. But each person has the opportunity to accept that gift and return with him or to reject that gift. Christ will not force our obedience, he will only lovingly show us the way and wait for us with open arms. That has always stuck with me. I couldn't force this student to try, I couldn't force him to like me or see what a dedicated teacher I was trying to be to him. I did all I could do, and the choice now sat with him.
I find myself remembering that student now as I sit in a classroom with four or five more just like him. I can sit and complain about how horrible it is that they won't shape up, or I can provide continued opportunities for them to shape up and do things right, and not take it so personally. Even more important - I can love them and try to pick out the good in them. Easier said than done.
