Presenting: Creative Living Experiment - The Sequel

blossoming

It's time.

I'll miss this space, but I bought the URL and I've been paying for Squarespace since January. Please come join me at my new digs: www.creativelivingexperiment.com.

I look forward to seeing you there!

A Sudden Influx of Creative Possibility

It seems that flying lessons has spurred me into an expanded creative orbit of possibility with so many ideas and actions I want to take that it's exhilarating and overwhelming all at the same time.

a braindump of creative goals

The past few weeks have been a flurry of creative ideas, opportunities, to-dos and micro-actions, followed by a few micro-crashes. I'm not sure how to deal with it all, but until I figure out a system (or accept that I won't) I've been working through it as follows:

• I write everything down: ideas, to-dos, what-ifs, questions, references, blog addresses, book titles, etc. Better have it clutter my desk than having it clutter my mind.
• I write micro-actions on my whiteboard and erase them when they're done. Satisfaction ensues. (I seem to enjoy the soothing white space left on the board when I erase them vs. the increased clutter of lines when I cross them off.)
  
• I set loose weekly and monthly goals. They may not always be realistic, in fact, they may be overly optimistic, but they give me a sense of focus and help me practice discernment and patience. Not all things need to be done immediately, some things can indeed wait.
• I run with momentum when it's there. If I'm on a roll and the energy's high I go with it knowing that it most likely won't last. I accept the flow.
• But I try to get to bed at a decent hour and allow myself time to unwind with a novel or some deep breathing to stop the creative monkey mind from taking over. I get excited about my creative projects and when the adrenalin's pumping could easily work on them late into the night - and sometimes I do - but it will catch up with me. I need to be aware of that.
• I listen to my body and mind. If I'm feeling tired or struggling to focus or concentrate I stop and rest, knowing that the energy will come back. I remember my Basics and recharge. I accept the ebb.

This has been working for me for the past few weeks, but I'm not sure how effective it will be without injecting a bit of structure, whatever form that may take. Being a self-confessed productivity geek, I'm thoroughly enjoying the prospect of experimenting and figuring out what works to get things done.

How do you deal with an influx of creative ideas, possibility and to-dos?

On Fortuitous Doubts and Insecurities...

something about Mary

I signed up for Kelly Rae Roberts' e-course, Flying Lessons: Tips & Tricks To Help Your Creative Business Soar, and resisting it greatly.

I love it. I know I want it. I believe it's the next step in the path I want to forge in both my artistic and work lives. But I've been blindsided by fear almost to the point of tears and all I can say is WTF?

This is not about the course. The course so far is amazing.

I suspect it's more about resident doubts and insecurities at even thinking that I could be a successful artist or a businesswoman. I knew they were there, I guess I just never gave them such a perfect opportunity to all show up at once. I guess it's time to deal.

Wish me luck?

A Catch-up Post

[Warning: It’s long.]

~ D. and I were asked if we’d consider moving out of the house we’re renting two months earlier than planned, for June 1^st. We will, and after agonizing over the “Do we buy or do we rent again?” question for weeks we decided on renting. So now we search. Knowing that I’ll be moving in less than four months but not knowing where has me discombobulated. Home is an important piece of my foundation and when it’s threatened I get agitated. I would be a sucky nomad.

~ My sweetie gave me a copy of Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book, Committed, A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, for Valentine’s Day. He’s a keeper, non? It does beg the question though if he thinks I'm a skeptic when it comes to marriage; maybe last year’s post-proposal cold sweats in the middle of the night gave it away. Yet here I am trusting, risking and loving, seeing where this nuptial ride will take me – where it will take us. I can't wait to delve into the book.

~ My return to work after two months off isn’t going as well as I hoped it would. After five weeks back I am snippy, intolerant, impatient, and feel just about how I felt before I left last October to rest. Surely there’s a lesson to learn here. In the meantime I don’t know how to deal with it; it’s leaving me exhausted and drained.

~ Last week I enjoyed dinner with a dear friend of mine. Afterward we popped over to a favourite new age bookstore I used to frequent, but hadn’t in a long time (you know the kind: tarot cards, incense, etc.), Maybe it was the incense, maybe it was the crystal bowls chakra chants or maybe it was seeing calendars by fellow Squammette Liz (so cool!), but for the first time in months I felt a few moments of inner peace. It was bliss.

~ D. and I enjoyed an amazing weekend at a luxury château in the woods. Posh yet not pretentious it was balm for the soul. Sipping chocolate-sprinkled hot chocolate beside a three-storey six-sided fireplace is definitely the way to go. Before reaching our woodland destination we caught an exhibit by J.W. Waterhouse at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts. The highlights: watching D. – who is much more familiar with Waterhouse’s work than I am – scurry from one painting to another saying “Come see this one! And this one!”, and seeing the original version of the Waterhouse reproduction on display in our guest room.

~ On this morning's commute to the office someone behind me honked, gesturing for me to hurry up. Without even blinking I look straight at him in my rear view mirror, broke into a wide grin and waved vigorously. It cracked me up. The guy behind me not so much. [grin]

~ The registration for Squam Art Workshops opened last week. After attending two years in a row I’m not sure if I’m going this year, but I highly recommend it! I have a soft spot for the fall session m’self. Not only is the focus on visual arts appealing, but New Hampshire in September is divine.

~ January 25th quietly marked my four year blogging anniversary. I started an Urban Living Experiment when I moved to a sweet apartment in a 1920s walk-up after separating from my then husband; when I started the blog I had no clue where it would lead me. Truth is, today I feel I'm at a blogging standstill and that my writing's gone stale. I have plenty of ideas including a fun (OK, what I think would be a fun) snail mail social networking experiment and I’ve had draft posts in the wings since September. I bought a URL and have a partially revamped blog waiting to come out. There’s just no juice to make it happen. I’m not ready to give up though so I carry on, one post at a time.

Catch-up complete. Till the next post…

Prints are in...

... and available for purchase at Bobbi Pin Hair Studio, 177 Armstrong St. in Ottawa (a block and a half from the Parkdale Market).


The scanner and printer did a wonderful job, the colours are vibrant and they look great!

Prints available:

• Giselle (10x10 print on 12x12 paper)
• What She Seeks, Be Free and Soar, Breathe (6x8 prints on 8x10 paper)

ps - For the non-locals, I'm targeting an online shop early in the new year. I'll keep you posted. :)

What I've Been Up To (or Sunday Gratefuls)

It feels as if so many big and small things are happening, or may be happening, or being considered here these days. In the past few weeks I...

• decided to extend my leave from work by another month, giving myself the month of December to continue resting and being; I now return to the office in January 2010
• set a tentative target date to transition from my current job to being my own boss; once I commit fully I'll make that date public here :)
• opened myself to the option of buying a house in a small town next year vs. renting in city
• obtained my vendor's permit, scans of a few original pieces and priced the paintings that are hanging at my hair salon; tomorrow I start working on the prints
• toyed with the idea of hosting Christmas dinner this year, after a few quick enquiries it looks like it might happen
• continued decluttering the house and collected a surprise $81 for items sold at the consignment shop last Monday (YAY!)
• practised rest, trust and action through "clean lines of quiet movement"
• caught up on my finances
• found joy in the play of a friend's puppy, a breakfast date with a dear friend, a clutter-free medicine cabinet (it's true!) and much much more

A full few weeks, non? What surprises me is that I feel balance and peace instead of the usual overwhelm and urgency that would come with such a list. For that I am grateful.

What have you been up to these days? Tell me.

Building on Experience

a winter wreath mosaic

In 2004 and 2005 I designed and sold winter wreaths; my total sales for both years were less than $500. That's sales, not profit.

Two weeks ago I unearthed a pile of notes and records related to my wreath venture. There were notes from craft shows indicating if they would be a good fit for my product, what kind of clientele attended and what kinds of price ranges were there. There was an Excel sales log complete with cost of production and profit margin for each piece. And then my favourites: sales slips, hang tags and an artist's (crafter's?) statement, all adhering to a consistent image sporting a Papyrus font and Microsoft clipart.

Fast-forward to yesterday and a phone call I got from my hairdresser. Remember the paintings I hung at her place last week? Turns out they're garnering interest and that, in her words, it's time for me to "get my butt in gear and bring in a price list." There's also a potential market for prints, especially for Giselle who is not for sale (she's my first face from scratch, therefore a keeper).

Eep!

After hanging up, bouncing around on an adrenalin rush and subsequently catching my breath, I turned to my wreath venture for inspiration. After all if I did it once surely I could do it again. So I am.

Mimicking steps I took back then I'm re-using the Excel template to calculate production costs and pricing for my artwork, I'm diligently typing up notes from each recon phone call to the printers, and just like I wrote a crafter's statement for display at craft shows, I intend to write an artist's statement for display at the salon. I'm pulling out my books on selling crafts, gleaning tips that apply just as much to original paintings as they did for wreaths.

I can do this. I've done it before, now it's time to build on that experience - a tiny business venture initiated five years ago that today is giving me tools and confidence to move forward in something new. And just that is worth the effort I put into it, maybe even greater reward than the $500 in sales.

An Instance of Creative YES

heart skipping a beat
grinning wildly
mind piecing concepts and images together
turning them around then flipping it all upside down
until they connect into one overarching picture
from which they become
tangible ideas in waiting
something real in the making
palpable energy
ready to discover what comes next

This is what happens when I experience Creative YES. It feels good.

A (Long) Freeform Catch-up Post

I've been putting too much pressure on myself to write the perfect post so I decided to cut myself some slack and go freeform - 'cause sometimes freeform is where it's at. For your reading pleasure, here are a bunch of random and not-so-random happenings & thoughts from the past few weeks:

I'm going to be an auntie!
D.'s brother and his wife found out that the little bean they've been nurturing for the past 19 weeks is a GIRL! Congratulations to them - everyone is simply tickled pink. Seeing pictures of my little niece taken in her mother's womb is leaving me in awe and reminding me of joy and miracles. It's so good.

AAA: Acknowledgment, Acceptance, Action
A few weeks ago I finally accepted that I had delved into depression. Sleep was my comfort; I retreated from social situations - online and off and started slipping at work, noticing that I wasn't as sharp (ahem) as usual. My level of patience dipped and my level of snippiness went up considerably, all of this prompting me to scale back to basics. Funny thing is though, as soon as I acknowledged the situation, accepted it and took action - whether it meant scaling back or seeking help - it started getting better. Note to self: acknowledgment, acceptance and action rule.

A break from work
One of the results of my above AAA journey is a four-week break from work. I prayed for the time off, craved it, got it, then promptly questioned whether I even wanted it anymore: "What will people think? Am I just weak? Surely I can suck it up." Thankfully acceptance once again came into play (pretty quickly might I add) and tamed the gremlins. Having time off to rest and not have to worry about going into the office is a gift and I look forward to it. I stumbled upon this post on burnout by Danielle LaPorte at White Hot Truth this morning and fancy her outlook. With words like "I'm curling up to my tenderized being and I'm really very pleased with the state of me", how could I not?

Paintings coming soon to a hair salon near you
Although I've very few plans for my time off, it just so happens one of the first things on deck is an appointment to hang some of my paintings at my hair salon for sale and display. How cool is that? I'll make sure to post some pictures of the space once they're up.

A timely reminder that I am capable
Last weekend I cleaned a few shelves in my office and found a lot of notes from past projects: writing classes, small business seminars, my winter wreath business venture, volunteer work and brainstorming on dreams and possible income streams. I've done a LOT in the past five years. Seeing that gave me confidence and reminded me that I have a lot to offer - perseverance, knowledge and skills that can help me create and support the life I want. I was grateful for the timely boost.

Servas International
During my sabbatical in 2007 I volunteered for Servas International, an organization focused on building peace by connecting travellers throughout the world and helping them learn about each other's culture. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my 11 months off. During last weekend's office cleanup I found some of my Servas notes and for some reason couldn't bring myself to throw them in the recycle bin so I filed them in the back of my cabinet. This week I got an email out of nowhere from the person I worked with two years ago inviting me to a catch-up coffee outing. With that kind of serendipitous timing, I think accepting is no-brainer. :)

Et voilà! The thing about freeform catch-up posts is that they can be very long, but they work. I feel all caught up; I hope you do too. Till the next time...

Employ Your Mind

cool sign in Old Montreal

"Manage your attention properly. Instead of automatically worrying about what you don't want (a thought train that exacerbates problems and compounds images of what you fear), become intensely involved with your solutions. ... Your imagination is your faithful servant. Don't serve it by letting fear pictures control your emotions or your future. Employ your mind on your life's behalf."
- Marsha Sinetar, To Build the Life You Want, Create the Work You Love

How are you employing your mind on your life's behalf today?

Coming Clean

In April I paid a few thousand dollars for an online class that had me giddy. Each time I read the description my heart would soar and the adrenalin ran so high that I had trouble sitting still in my seat.

I believe the course has great potential towards a transition to being my own boss and creating the work life I want. The marketing copy is well-written and tugs at wants that have been sitting with me for years, but even when I look beyond the copy, I believe the end result has merit. I think I'd be good at it and I think there's a viable market for it.

So why, pray tell, is the box of binders and CDs still sitting on my office floor? Why, pray tell, is it already mid-August and I've yet to engage in the course and the online support community that comes with it?

I opened the binders once or twice and even completed a few key exercises I've been avoiding all these years, but that's the most I've done.

So today I come clean: I spent good money on a course that has potential to move me towards the work life - no, toward the life - I want and I haven't started it yet. There. I've said it.

Now I will cut myself some slack and simply start. Here. Today.

Long Term Service, a Plea and a Pledge

Two weeks ago I chose my Long Term Service Award gift for 15 years with my current employer. Yesterday I burst into tears at the thought of staying there any longer.

After spending weeks reflecting on what I want my life to look and feel like, I finally realized - and maybe even accepted - that my current employer might not be the best fit.

I want a life that allows me to nurture friendships and family ties, cook healthy meals from scratch, exercise, build new connections, write, paint, contribute, collaborate, and spend quality time with D and Cassie. I want work that supports or contributes to the spirit of simplicity, connection & community, creativity, beauty, authenticity, nature, family, fun and learning.

I'm not convinced I can satisfy these wants where I am now.

I have many ideas and I'm ready to work on a transition; I just don't know where to start. So today I put a plea out to the Universe for help - help in allowing this path to unfold, help in finding the clarity and confidence to take appropriate action, and help in dealing with fear, rationalization and self-doubt.

In return, one day at a time, I will practice:

• outreach and reflection, connecting with others and my Higher Power for guidance,
• action and perseverance, taking risks and following through, and
• patience and trust, pacing myself and letting go of the outcome.

As for my 15-year contribution to my current employer, I will celebrate it and appreciate what it contributed to my life. I will appreciate what it continues to contribute today.

And maybe, just maybe, five years from now I'll be buying my own milestone award - something appropriate for a successful, self-employed woman who took action to create the life she wanted. Wouldn't that be sweet?