What Was

    Ecuaco has been quiet lately, holding a secret. There were reasons for this secret: we needed time, sharing could have made matters worse, and we felt no need to share with those beyond family. Keeping the secret did serve its purpose. Secrets can also result in unintentional pain and hurt from those who care about you. This is why I am now sharing with you, so that you can be aware of what's been going on.

    Once upon a time, the day before our anniversary, Tim and I were excited to learn that a little baby was growing inside of me. Yes, we took a test and the screen said "Pregnant." I then miscarried a handful of days later, at 5 weeks and 3 days. There was shock, healing, and grieving. We're both doing much better. Now I'd like to take some time to share some things.

* This is not going on Facebook. Why? There's no need to announce this to the world, especially since many of them are more acquaintances or old high school friends. [Please keep this off Facebook and gossip conversations as well]

* We are not looking for pity, only understanding. I feel that maybe it's better that some people are simply aware. Please keep being yourself with us.

* We're grateful for the Plan of Salvation and we know that everything will work out for our good. There's some reason that this happened. We have a strong testimony and understanding and are comforted by this.

* When are we going to try again? This is personal and last I checked the people involved in this already know. We will let you know when we have a pregnancy that lasts.

* I like the way Mommy Blake put it: our baby died and what we've been going through is just like losing someone else in the family.

   I was shocked to learn that miscarriage is very common for first pregnancies, miscarrying that early is commonly due to chromosomal abnormalities, and 20-25% of women have a miscarriage. Many women decide to keep this personal so I would've never guessed. I'm sharing because I feel that now that I've had time to heal, keeping this a deep secret is only hurting more. As said before, we're doing better now and look forward to the day that we can have a healthy baby.

Long Week

Yes, this week has felt extra long for me. I did have a bit of a break from work at the beginning of the week and was more than ready to come back afterwards! During that time off, I caught up on a few movies and did some creative stuff. Family came over and helped me get the apartment cleaned up while Tim was at work one day. It felt great to have the laundry done and everything clean again! Yesterday was Deana's baby shower for little Noah. I was able to finish up the gift I'd been planning for her: it included a tie (for Sean), bowtie (Noah), and headband (Deana) that all matched. I forgot to take a picture of them all, but Deana certainly loved it :)

Remember the tablecloths from our wedding last year? I knew right away that those would never be used again. While there were about twelve tables, I had so many colors that it'd be strange for someone to need what we had. I've been turning them into baby blankets and finally have two finished!

This is by far my favorite! It's the whales and the bright colors. I told Mommy Blake that I have to approve of it being given away; if it doesn't get to be mine then it better be someone awesome ;)

We looked at some more houses yesterday. Tim definitely makes those trips very fun! The houses keep looking better each time we go. There were a handful that we liked, one in particular. Hopefully none of those have been taken yet (especially our favorite). Our realtor is checking on them because there's no point in writing an offer if the houses have already been sold. That's the tricky part with all the short sales and lender-owned houses. You don't always know if there's been an offer accepted or whether or not it will fall through. We hope to be able to move soon.

Final note: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! (or Daddy's Day)

     *Tim sees himself as not a father yet so this day is not for him. He even purposely went out the cultural hall doors to not be given a gift after sacrament meeting, even though he's a future daddy. I still love him very much and didn't force it.

Murphy's Law

At first glance, this past week has seemed to feel like a great example of Murphy's Law here in Ecuaco. We could almost feel it coming towards us last weekend. This week we've seen our budget get tighter everyday as more unexpected expenses have come up, Winston started leaking after getting jump started, we've had to reschedule looking at houses and may miss one that we really wanted to look at, and other things. Some things have hurt way more than we expected they could have.

This week has brought Tim and I closer together and strengthened our bond as husband and wife. I saw the true care, compassion, and love he has when looking in his eyes this week. He expressed gratitude that I am his wife and that he's happy that he ended up with me. We also have been able to draw closer to our Savior and put our faith in Him that everything will work out. He knows where we're going and why things happened this way rather than how it all played out in our heads. He also loves us all so much, I can tell.

I thought that I would end this post with some pictures from our camping trip last weekend.

One Whole Year!

    Dare I say that this weekend has been fabulous in so many ways? Yes, I do! This is the best anniversary ever!! Okay, I'll grant that this is our first (and so far only) anniversary while being married, but it was quite wonderful :) Tim had asked me a month or two ago what I wanted to do to celebrate our anniversary. I told him that I wanted to go camping. Still being newlyweds [or are we?....] I wanted to be able to get away from everything and everyone, sorry, and spend time with just him. Out in the forest there are very few distractions and it's so much fun! I at least love going camping.

    For awhile it seemed as though we may not be able to since we started planning our trip exactly one week ago. Many places were already full up but we found a place that doesn't take reservations because you pitch your tent anywhere on the campgrounds that you find room to.

    Friday night, Tim got off work and we finished packing everything into the car. After filling the tank and taking forever to locate a fast food restaurant, we were finally on our way. I was really hungry so it felt like forever. We made it to Lower Canyon Creek sometime between 10 and 11 at night. Pitching a tent in the dark turned out to be not so bad since the tent was a simple one to put up. We walked around camp for a little bit and then decided to go to bed. Those sleeping bags were so comfortable and warm! We talked for awhile but fell asleep fast due to exhaustion. Throughout the night, we constantly found ourselves slipping further down the tent since we were on a hill. Tim woke me up in the morning whisper-yelling, "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!" and I loved it :)

    We took a hike through the forest and up the fish hatchery after breakfast. Those little fish were highly entertaining! Whenever we would get close and they could see us, they would go crazy swimming towards us and jumping around hoping that we were there to feed them. Tim took video of the fish because we honestly played with them several times to make sure that was the case (plus it was fun). Our trip was short and we ate lunch during the car ride home. We were so sad to leave and plan to go back for a longer stay another time.

    That afternoon, after getting cleaned up, Tim took me to go buy an electric keyboard. He had decided that this is what HE wanted to do for our anniversary since I talk about it all of the time. We finally found one that has all 88 weighted keys for a good price at Milano's. Tim plans on getting that set up relatively soon and we're both really excited!

    For dinner, we went out to Jong Wah for Chinese food and it was delicious! There was so much food too since we did a dinner deal. Our favorite part was that each part of the meal came on its own plate and you put what you wanted onto the plate that you eat from. This is the traditional Chinese style of serving and eating food from what I understand. We also must say that year-old frozen cake is actually still very tasty. All that changed was that parts of the cake were a little dry. This anniversary was wonderful indeed :)

"On this day one year ago I promised the woman I love that I would love her and take care of her forever. That promise is still going strong. Forever!"     Tim

"One year sounds like so long but has seemed so short spending it with such a sweetheart as my husband. I love it and am grateful for eternity together!"     Adriana