optimism.

Hello, hello.  Thought I'd share some thoughts with you today.  Is anyone else shocked that it's already the last week of January?

I've been realizing some things lately.  I think too far ahead sometimes.  And while this can be good--it can also damage my view of the present.  My recent kick has been in the indulgence of making things pretty.  Thank you, Design Sponge.  Only my indulgence is more of the imaginary kind, the if-I-had-time-and-money kind.  Still fun.  Like window shopping in my brain.  Anywho... a while back, my mom in law was showing me the inside of her old camper that she's not sure what to do with.  She sort of wants to sell it, but is also still in love with it.  She's mentioned how she wants to fix it up and use it for an office or something.  Obviously, I would be intrigued with this plan.  The camper is awesome and retro and I was pretty thrilled to be shown it.  I immediately started imagining away the possibilites.  I mentioned some of them to Diana--asking particularly if she planned to reupholster the seating.  In response to this question Diana made her classic cartoon wide eyed face of horror at me.  She wouldn't dream of changing it, in other words.  She knew I didn't mean any harm in the question and we laughed it off as I realized that it didn't really need to be reupholstered-- I've just been so in love with the idea of reupholstering lately.  (Those before and after project shots!  Come on!)

So then I have this dream the other night where Ian and I are taking the camper out for a vacation-- and I realize that it's been reupholstered.  I looked on with sadness and asked why it had been done.  Ian mentioned how I'd wanted it to be changed and asked why I was so sad about it.  I don't remember much else of the dream, probably because it was nonsense, but I was struck by that little instance when I woke up the next morning.  It made me wonder if there's a deeper side to my desire for changing what I see.  In other words-- what am I disregarding in thinking so much on the future and what could be?  Or what might be possible someday?  Am I ignoring what is good right now?

Perhaps I'm doing it a bit too brown.  It's not as if this is all I think about.  But it is something that occupies my mind.  And I'm not going to pretend that furniture and housewares are the only things I'm looking ahead for.  That would just be silly.  I've come away and realized that I should rejoice in what's in front of me-- just as it is.  I shouldn't always be looking ahead for the next best thing, crossing my fingers for when I'm finally done with school, or when I finally have funds and time to be more creative (as if that's even plausible) or whatever something it is.  The camper might need a little love here and there for its not being used-- but it's charming and wonderful just as it is.  I simply need to look at right now and be glad for it.  And so I share this video.

Cheerio, All.

remembering dialogue.

Sascha: "Do you remember when you had a moustache that one time?"

Ian:  "Oh, you mean the most awkward two hours of our marriage?  Yeah, I remember."

just us.

This is us right now.  In case you were wonderin'.  And that's the Ohio river behind us.

We've had the best week!  The weird part about it is that I couldn't tell you why.  We did get to spend some more time together because of a couple more snow days and all.  I'm sure that helped.  Overall I think we're just happy.  Ain't life grand?  Merry weekend everyone!

passenger seat

I roll the window down

And then begin to breathe in

The darkest country road

And the strong scent of evergreen

From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

Then looking upwards

I strain my eyes and try

To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites

From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"Do they collide?"

I ask and you smile.

With my feet on the dash

The world doesn't matter.

When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride

When you need directions then I'll be the guide

For all time.

For all time.

I was resting earlier, listening to some music on shuffle and this song came on.  I know I've heard it before--but it struck me differently this morning.  It felt like Ian and I.  We've now driven 'cross country eight times together.  Not to mention the countless times we drove from Rexburg to Salt Lake to get a dose of my family when we couldn't take it anymore (wish it was that easy still!)  What is it about long drives?  I know I've done that-- as the song describes: looked up at the stars as we drive past those highways that are in the middle of nowhere.  Driving across country is like looking your life in the face and remembering that everything is good.  Which is always a nice thing to do with someone you love.

So give someone you love a squeeze or a smooch today.  I know I will.  Happy Tuesday!

mellow love.

Bon Iver- Blindsided

Sarah Blasko- Woman by the Well

(you really ought to check out the album version of this song as well, which is what I originally fell in love with.  justsoyaknow.)

Here are a couple of mellowlove songs.  The kinds of songs I fall for when Ian is off and away on his filming endeavors.  The Bon Iver reminds me of Rexburg for whatever reason.  Probably the line "I crouch like a crow, contrast in the snow."  The crows in contrast to the winters there are eerie and beautiful.  Who knew I'd ever miss Rexburg?  I find I do at times though.  I mean, it was our own newlywed world away from everything.  Who wouldn't miss that?  I discovered the Sarah Blasko song when I was in Tokyo and was brought to small tears for my Ian being away.  I love that simple: "I just want you around."  Not to mention the beautiful imagery that comes about from the lullaby.  anyway.

Salutations

I feel the need to make a post of some kind.  I'm just not sure what kind yet.

All I know is that that three week break was a bit of heaven.  The first week of which was all on account of snow.  I use to think Kentuckians were wimps with their closing of school and business over snow.  I mean-- come on.  In Utah, we'd have five feet of snow and a major power outage and school would still be held.   I think I've had maybe one snow day my whole life.  But now that I've seen the impenetrable ice that builds up on the windy roads here-- I thank goodness that we don't have to brave it.  Plus I felt like a kid again finding out there was no school.  I'm pretty sure Ian and I danced around the house.

And while I'm on the subject of Kentucky weather... please know how big a fan I am of it.  I love Kentucky climate/weather/nature.  It changes in some way every three weeks or so.  There are not only four seasons-- but seasons within those seasons.  And they're all beautiful.  I'm sure I'll go into more depth about this sometime in the future... but not now.  But I will say... we had a white Christmas, with soft snow all throughout and then it was warm and breezy for New Years.  Perfection, right?  I usually get some sort of winter blues--but I feel like Kentucky won't allow it.  She kindly gives me breaks from the gray with warm, sunny days.  I really can't explain it.  At the risk of sounding dramatic, it's as if Kentucky weather was made for me.  It combines a bit of everything I love.  Except for the ocean, which is only eight hours away, so...

And hey!  It's a new year again!  Usually I'm surprised that another year has come and gone but not this year for some reason.  2010 was pretty lived in.  Eventful.  Full.  We're ready freddy for a new year.  And I couldn't really explain why-- but I feel like I've managed to leave some troubles behind.  The following quote I stumbled upon seems to sum exactly what I'm feeling:

i have so many new years resolutions for this next year.

not because there's so much that i want to change.

but because suddenly there's so very much that seems possible. 

Cheers.