Happenings..

Hello All! All is good in Lacie/Tyler land. I spent this past weekend doing what I like to refer to as "man jobs". I unclogged a drain, worked in the yard, took out the trash and put up christmas lights outside. The whole christmas light job is not all that fun. I do have the satisfaction of plugging them in every night and knowing that me, myself and I made that happen. Also Claudia and Gary gave me their old Christmas tree (thank you, it is perfect, I love it) and I set that up and Tyler and I decorated it Sunday night. I would unwrap the ornaments and hand them to him and he would hang them up. He did get bored with it after a while, but we had a good time. Sometimes I look at him and just wish he would quit growing and stay my little baby, but it is really neat that he is getting old enough to do things like decorate the tree with me and actively participate. This spring he is going to play soccer with the YMCA, I can't wait and again...can't believe he is old enough. I think I have mentioned before that I started swimming with the Woodlands Masters, that is going well, and I am really enjoying it. It kicks my butt, but in a good way. I can't believe it is already December. All of my family is heading up to Lubbock, we are getting the best present ever, a baby girl named Sadie Elaine Moudy. Cydnie and Joe are expecting their second child and I can't wait to see the new baby. Well that is about all I got tonight. Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season.

Two days in a row...

I am home with a sick kid. Yuck, Yuck, Yuck. I got a phone call at work today and as soon as I saw that it was Ms. Teresa I knew something was not good. He is throwing up, poor thing. But I had to leave work and I was suppose to start an important project this afternoon. Tyler is my number one priortiy, but my work is important to me too. Anyhow that is just how it goes sometimes. Just send up a prayer he gets better soon!

Lord give me the words
Let them come from my soul
To tell who I am
And how I am whole
That it was from you
That You gave me life
You gave me peace
And You paid the price
About who I was
Let me never forget
Uncomfortable because
I am led to repent
For the sins that still
Are lingering around
You have washed them away
For in You I have found
Life after death
You’re Son on the cross
The sacrifice made
For all who are lost
Your grace covers me
And all that I am
Explanations aside
It is where I began
To seek only You
Let prayer be my guide
To live in your light
And to walk by your side
So I will not feel
Less than your love
Radiate through me
From heaven above

Cool...Cool, Cool, Cool

That is kinda how I am feeling lately. The title comes from a movie that I don't remember the name of and have most likely never seen, but I do know what context it was used in thanks to Mr. Matt Goff. I am doing alot of things that are out of my box. I moved down here and created a safe little life for myself and for Tyler. I have my safe little job, my safe little house with my safe little neighbors, and my safe little friends. Most of the people I associate with on a daily basis are well... you guessed it ... safe. I needed the simplicity for a while, to get my balance back, to formulate my perspective on life. Here lately though I find myself feeling as though I am called to venture outside of my box and experience new things. For example, I am going to join the Woodlands Masters swim team. This is very daring of me. I have spent the past week in swim lessons because I have never been taught the correct way to swim and this Thursday I will be going to my first practice. I know that I will be very close to the worst swimmer there, I am just praying that my performance isn't laughably bad. Those of you who know me well know that this past year has been a spiritual journey for me. I lived as a non-believer for a very long time. On June 4, 2007 I rededicated my life to Christ, or maybe even finally dedicated sincerely for the very first time. I believe God calls us to have a personal relationship with Him, but to also fellowship with other Christians. It is this next step that I am having a hard time with on so many levels. I just don't quite know where I fit in. Telling people I have a son (which I would never not tell) leads to questions about his dad, which leads to answers that while I have worked out on my own, I don't have the words to explain. For years I listened to the voice that told me that I had sinned to much and gotten too far away from the love of Jesus. And just when I think that I have drowned out that voice, all those insecurities, I find that when I go to fellowship with other believers,that if they know the details of my past, they are are going to validate my biggest fear and tell me by their words or actions that I don't belong. It is just something I am going to have to work through again, because I know God's Grace is sufficient for even me. I just have to keep going and I know God will take care of the rest.

So....on a more positive note, Tyler is doing great...here are some recent pics

****Guess not on the pics...It kept freezing up on me...I will try again tomorrow!

Same Old Stuff

Nothing really new to report. Tyler was sick last week but he is doing better now. We had to stay home last Tues and Wed. but I was able to work from home. Going to San Antonio this weekend with some friends so I am really excited about that. So hmm... not really anything to say. Oh! Did you know that the Mr. Clean Magic Erasors will get spray paint off of a car? Harriet (my neighbor) and I were watching Tyler and Daylon ( her grandson) play and they were over in Tina's (another neighbor who wasn't home) driveway playing. We were looking at them and where thinking, "What is Daylon holding?" Harriet says "I think it is just a cup", but then he moves to the side and we realize that their is a big RED spot on the back of David's (Tina's husband) WHITE work truck. So we got it off of the truck, but I will probably be spending some time in the near future helping paint Tina and David's garage door. That's right, the truck was not the only victim. They also got a bush and some on the driveway. Tyler wasn't the one holding the spray paint, but who knows, maybe it was his idea. We had a long talk about the incident. Anyhow, that is all for now!

I am a terrible blogger...

It is just by the time I get done with my day and find a minute to sit down and update, I just don't have the energy and my blog would say,"I am tired, going to bed." Today we got home before the neighbors which means I have a few minutes to do this before the kids come knocking on my door looking for Tyler and I have to go outside. So nothing is new really. I lead an extremely boring life. Although Sunday night Tyler decided not to go to sleep. I mean really not to go to sleep. I never have a problem getting him to bed and he usually doesn't get up even once. But Sunday night I could have sworn somewhere around 3:30am that my sweet little boy was demon possessed. About 3:00 am I finally gave up and just let him go play, which he did until 4:00 when he wanted to watch a movie and came and woke me up. It was then he told me his ear hurt. Apparently when you have an ear ache it hurts to lay down. Anyways he finally crashed out at 7:00 am and we both stayed home and I took him to the doctor. No way was I going to have a repeat of the night before, and he did in fact have an ear infection. My college class is going well, I have my first test this week. Work is also going really well. I am already looking forward to this weekend, Tyler and I are just going to stay home and relax. I have alot of school work I need to do, and my house needs some cleaning done. I am great about picking it up everynight, but never seem to find the time to dust, vacume, mop etc. Tyler got bit at school today. I think they thought I would be mad, but I'm sure this won't be the last time he gets bit, and he might even bite someone himself before it is all said and done. Mykanna came in last weekend and we had a blast. That is it for now!!!

Thursdays are a BEAT DOWN

I don't like Thursday's. Every Thursday I am tired and just beat down. Fridays are okay because next is Sat. and my friend Sun. But by Thursday I am sleepy, on Thursdays I don't cook dinner very often. Tonight we did sandwiches then went outside to play. As I said I am sleepy and I am out way past my curfew. Night.

There has been no time...Tyler's Back!!

Tyler arrived back home safe and sound last Saturday. He was gone for two weeks and I think that it was too long for both of us. We have settled into our little way of life finally and I think that is why it was so hard this time. The little boys he plays with kept coming over to see if Tyler was home yet and if he could come out to play. I love when they do that it is soooooo cute. My parent stayed here until Monday and I worked them to death. I had a mile long "honey do" list and my dad did it all while he was here. My mom helped me with hanging pictures and the last of the unpacking. I am loving my house now. Everything has a home, a place it belongs, it is cute, but even more importantly it is organized and clean. (I know some of you (amie) are thinking "who is this girl?") I don't know if it was because it gave me something to do, but somewhere over the past year I have become a neat freak. I am going to the Brooks and Dunn/Alan Jackson concert this friday and I am super excited. I can't remember the last time I went to a concert. Oh.. I have a tanning bed.. and I finally used it tonight.. I keeping thinking that I am pale... but somehow don't remember I have a tanning bed at my house. So I will soon be a very tan person and I am very excited about this. Tonight as I was setting dinner on the table, Tyler looked at me and said "Thank you for cooking mommy." It came out of nowhere. I am a great parent if I do say so myself, but Thank You God for giving me such a precious sweet little boy. I better go to bed. I am trying to be in bed by 11pm, but I am such a night owl and I am 8 mins past that goal as of right now. I am a shiny new penny!!!!!!

Less than 48 hours!!!

My parents are coming this Saturday to spend the weekend, and while I am excited about that, I am just beside myself to see Tyler again. I have tried really hard to structure our lives so that they are routine for him. I have spent the last two weeks having no routine at all and miss it. I think it must be good for me too. I am super excited that my dad is coming down. I have a big "honey do" list for him. He is the definition of "handy." Anyways I guess that is it for now. All I can think about is Tyler coming home, and that doesn't make for a real exciting blog...so good night!!

My outlet

I decided sometime ago that I need to embrace and feel the hurts and disappoints of my life if I was ever going to be able to heal and get past them. For those of you who know me well, you know that that is the opposite of my nature. I have never been a big poetry person, but maybe I was a poet and didn't know it. Okay that was lame, but I am also embracing my dorkiness. So here is one of my poems, I call it "Argument with God" because I we have been in a fight for a long time now and thankfully we have finally made up.

Argument with God

I look in mirror but I can’t see
Puzzled because I am looking at me
Broken pieces, all scattered around
Looking so hard but I can’t be found
Who is this person that I can’t reach
What life lessons are left to teach
Make a home where duplicity is art
And a house built of cards will fall apart

I am so angry and don’t know how to fight
“I will take the pain: I will make it right”
But I have too much pride to admit I was wrong
“I will pick you up; take you where you belong”
Too many sins for which I will forever pay
“Just confess to me and they will go away”
But I don’t know how and I can’t see you
“I will always be here and I will see you through”

I am so scared to be in this place
Wondering when I’ll recognize my face
I see the way but I can’t follow the path
There is too much damage in the after math
When will I see, will it ever come clear
Will the person I want to be ever appear
I try so hard to not show the pain I feel
But I hurt too bad to pretend it’s not real

I am so angry; please help make it right
“I will take the pain and I will help you fight”
Too much pride, don’t know where I belong
“I will pick you up and make right the wrong”
Too many sins that just won’t go away
“Just confess to me: the price I did pay”
But I don’t know how to see anything through
“Just believe in me; I will never leave you”

But will you be enough for me and my son
And can you take away all that has been done
So many mistakes and there all my own
But I give them to you, I can’t bear them alone
I will trust you with me I will give you my all
Please hold me tight and don’t let me fall
I hear you calling and I won’t be afraid
I will give it up and let go of my charade

I don’t want to be angry; I am tired of the fight
“I have taken the pain; everything’s alright”
I let down my pride, I admit I was wrong
“I have picked you up; this is where you belong”
I confess my sins; please take the sorrow away
“You are forgiven; it is time to start a new day”
Faith will show me how: grace will see me through
“You are my child and I have been waiting for you”

Still working on me...

I am very blessed to work in an environment that is very christian oriented. It has been a saving grace. I have a friend at work that has one of those word statue things on the shelf above her desk that says "Faith". Mike asked her what that word meant to her and she said that she could not put it into words. I started thinking about what faith meant to me. So here is my attempt to try to put it into words. I have just recently become a big fan of faith.
Faith to me is...
Believing and holding firm to that belief when it would be easier to be angry, hurt, disenchanted ect. It is giving yourself over completely to God inspite of the hurt and anger. It is trusting in God and relying on him in such a way that you cannot explain without sounding just a little crazy. It is knowing you will never fully understand, grasp or be able to wrap your brain around all that God is, and believing anyway. Because you just know to the depths of your soul that there is a God and he is alive.

I live a life, inspite of my past mistakes, that is so blessed and the blessing just keep coming. When I don't think it can get any better... It does!! I sometimes wonder if I am just in a honeymoon phase with God. Like we are treating eachother really well right now because we are in this puppylove stage thing. But when I really started thinking about it, I have experienced heartache and disappointments just like always. It is just that somehow now the hurts don't hurt so bad, I love myself enough to no longer do things that hurt me, and I have a certain peace in my heart that comes from "faith."

Pearls and Pigs

Do not give dogs what is sacred;
Do not throw your pearls to the pigs.
If you do, they may trample them under their feet;
and then turn and tear you to pieces. (Matthew 7:6)

I gave what was sacred to the dogs;
I threw my pearls to the pigs;
They trample them under their feet;
Then turned on me and tore me to pieces.

So what now, what does one do now?

Ask God to take back what was sacred
Beg for God to get back you pearls;
Pray that he can restore what was trampled
Give Him the pieces of you.

Ask and it will be given to you;
Seek and you will find:
Knock and the door will be opened to you:
For everyone who asks receives;
He who seeks finds;
And to him who knocks,
The door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)

Kidless

For this week and next week, Tyler is with my parents. I have had a really hard time finding childcare that I can live with. I was lucky that my mom watched Tyler before, but now I don't live near them anymore. I didn't want to just send him to any daycare. I have really prayed that God will send someone to watch him that will love and care for him. And he did! But there was a two week gap between when I needed her and when she could start, so off to Dallas he went. He misses his Honey and Grandad so this will be a great time for all of them. Anyways back to the kidless thing. I find myself doing things that you can't do when you are a single mom of a 3 yr old. Here are some examples, tonight I came home from work and climbed into bed and snoozed for 2 hours (that is why am blogging at 10:45 pm), a couple nights ago I went to the Jack in the Box down the street for some curly fries at 10pm, I have gone shopping after work just to look around. I miss him like crazy and can't wait to get him back, but it is nice to do whatever I want. I haven't cooked dinner since he has been gone, that means no dishes to clean up. I try to make our lives very structured so that he can regain some security that he has lost over the past year, so when he is not here, I just do nothing. I has been great, but I miss him and everything reminds me of him. Check out the Utube clip. Kids are soooooo funny and my kid makes me laugh all the time.

I'm going to do the blog thing too!

I'm jumping on the band wagon. I am kind of tired of the whole my space thing. Give me a few days to set this up.