That's all for 2011.

Prologue: *brawk* There's something stuck in my respiratory canal somewhere near the lung. Something phlegm that I just can't get rid from my chest. It's all because of the crowded hall of DK G31 and the Islamic talk about End of the World and 2nd Coming of Christ According to Islam's POV. One thing I noticed about religious people (especially Abrahamic Religion like Islam or Christian): they just LOVE to hear people joining their fold. The righteous path, they said about their religion. Almost a feel good about yourself pep rally. Hmph.

Well, this is it. It really is. The finale before the curtain closes. The very last day of the year 2011. The day that I long dreaded has finally come. 31 December 2011 is finally here.

Here just to get you the reader into the mood of New Years Eve, here's Google Doodle of The Day.

As the year comes to a close, it seems obligatory to a point of cliche that one must produce a review, a self-audit of some sort just to check through the list on things that has been or has not been achieved for the past 365 days. So here I am, struggling to come up with one.

Have I achieved anything in the year 2011. Well of course there are a couple of personal achievement such as finally getting my (slightly delayed to be honest) research proposal approved back in the month of May followed by presenting my own paper on the same thing I am doing for my research over PPA-13 at Shah Alam organised by UiTM (which in my opinion seemingly lacklustre in something.) After the euphoria of success though...everything slows down to glacial speed. No progress in both reading and writing. Missed out the deadline for two international conference that's quite relevant to me in Forli, Italy and Canada while Barcelona, another hasty submission rejected because it wasn't entirely relevant though interesting. The only sensible thing that I did from May until now with regards to my research is finishing up the (equally long delayed) questionnaire for my research in which again I dilly-dallied until the end of year before I actually has the urgency (not a healthy way to get motivation) to conduct research screening session. Then as if fate has everything against me just to wrap up the year with a boom, AV lab speaker killed my laptop speaker (still deaf and mute at the moment) and my pilot screening session is indeed what I somewhat expected because it's the very last teaching day of this semester  before people heads back home for study week holiday. The waves of disasters has swept me unprepared leaving me in a state of limbo which I am not sure whether I am able to snap back from. Can't believe my 2011 in academia is going to end like this.

As for everything else in my life: JPA hates me. Mybrain15 hates me. Twice. Went to Langkawi under Humanities Postgraduates Club (in which I had been forced to become committee member because DepDeanPostRes spotted me in my red shirt), getting myself sunburnt and heartburn in the process which was only compensated by lots of chocolate, a couple of visitors, a couple of new lunch mates (Esther and Vicky, fellow postgrads mate in which there are plenty of photos in my camera which I have not uploaded yet.) while the SISTAHood somewhat drifted off because everyone in the Penang chapter has a career and a companion...while I don't have one. MPPUSM and DPPUSM is a sorry excuse of a platform to voice up students' right. Challenging (my own or others) paradigm is hard simply because Malaysian (especially students which I learnt the hard way) are usually lacking in mental faculty to have a proper debate and arguing on Facebook is indeed pointless. Especially if it's about religion. (Because I am a fucking Kafir/Heathens, that's why.) Went to a few religious talk which gave me headache and heartache but luckily still very much an unrepentant atheist/Humanist. What else do I miss?

After so much drama especially as the year coming to an end, it can only be sums up by this statement:

I might have overestimated my own optimism.

...which is ironic considering that I am certainly not the most optimistic of a person and even then reality has denied me whatever little optimism that I have left in me. I've seen myself growing more cynical, pessimistic and tired as the time gone by. Have I really achieved that little wish that I always make the beginning of the year that is making myself happier? Or is it to abstract of a achievement to start of with anyway? What makes me happy? I just don't know. The only question that I have in my mind right now: has the year really have to end like this?

It's only noon as I posted this but I know as clock slowly ticking towards 12 midnight and crowds of revelers comes to together at shopping malls and public places to count down, I will be sitting in my room as usual, looking my (deaf and mute) laptop wearily as sounds of fireworks punctuates the sky. With that, I might just type a usual Happy New Year on 1 January post just to kick start the year. What should I wish for this year anyway.

-Additional contents: How I treat myself well on the last day of 2011-

Initially I was thinking of going to downtown Georgetown probably have lunch over Time Square, grab myself Roti Boy and hop on CAT bus around Georgetown since it's Saturday and the very last day of 2011 and all. That plan didn't work out however because I was distracted by my laptop so much that I only went around from my room around 1pm plus, the sun is scorching hot and my patience for waiting for bus is ebbing quicker and than ever. Forfeited plan around 1:45pm and walked towards McDonald instead for a watered down plan B. Then a 303 RapidPenang bus coming down from the road. Pergh. Bus psychology indeed.

So yes, plan B. Prosperity Meal with Chicken Prosperity Burger and Prosperity McFizzy and gone large.

The highlight of McDonald's festive season's offering is obviously Twisterfries!

Chicken Prosperity Burger. Still too peppered for my liking and the patty is not properly aligned in the bread, making it kinda messy.

Dinner: Back to LK Western Cafe over Ivory Plaza. Roaring business which means longer waiting time. Oh well, at least they have wireless.

Chicken Maryland. I ordered the set meal (RM17.50) that comes with mushroom soup & garlic bread...

For the drinks I ordered Jelly Earl Grey Milk Tea which only comes when I almost finished my meal. That's how good the business were...or how lacking the waiters there. Or both.

Last but least, Ice cream. Three scoops of peppermint choc chips, Chocolate and Vanilla ice cream.

Meanwhile for my laptop, I managed to get the sound back earlier this evening in which I decided to left it on back in room as I head out for lunch. When I came back however, it become unresponsive for no apparent reason again. Cheebye. Had to restart lappie.

Anyway, less than half and hour to go before 2011 comes to an end so I guess it's alright for me to put my fat arse show my rather weary face. Or I think it's my laptop camera that makes everything look kinda bleary. I will doing yet another impromptu (OF ALL TIME, AH KOK!) side job as the sound of fireworks punctuates the sky. How are you going to spent your night tonight? How about the next morning, the very first day of 2012 and a Sunday! 

Epilogue: I should've just gone down to KL to join my younger brother who's over here in Peninsula for his post-STPM holiday with his friends. I wonder why didn't I have any friend that invites me for post-STPM holiday back then. So it is me then that's antisocial. *sigh*.

Merry Christmas 2011.

Prologue: To be frank, it has been a very tumultuous week for me with rude surprises as well as events that makes my brain blow. Just for the occasion however I will save all of you my fellow readers (six of you probably) of my usual depressing whinging (like the previous post) and provide for you a safe harbour of peace and tranquility as you clicked on my blog, blending into the spirit of holiday.

First and foremost:

Merry Christmas to fellow Christians across the globe. May god's grace shine upon you and all of your loved ones in the event of Christ's birth.

Happy Holiday for everyone regardless of faith across the globe. Spent time with your family and loved ones.

A shout out to fellow sons and daughters of Fairland Sarawak where ever you are, at home or abroad.

The usual Google Doodle's season greeting with a musical and flash twist! Jingle bell all the way!

Listened to BBC World Service's live broadcast of Festival of Nine Lessons and Carol at King's College Chapel, Cambridge on Christmas Eve. It's broadcasted live at 3pm GMT which is 11pm here at GMT+8 and lasts for one and half hours, just in time for Christmas here on this part of the globe! Even though I am not a Christian, it doesn't mean that I can't enjoy the moving hymn and song by King's College Chapel Choir! I think this might be my pre-Xmas ritual for years onward!

-Edited with additional contents!-

So what does this merry season usually entails? Plenty of nosh of course, starting from Christmas Eve's Eve (23 December, Friday!) til Christmas Day itself!

-23 December 2011, Potluck over cousin's place-

Starting up the bonfire...I mean the grill.

Skewers of Chicken wings and vegetables (in which the onion is ridiculously hot for some reason. Wrong onion?.

Barbecueing under the night light and cool after rain air.

While foods just keep on piling up as more and more guest bring their own contribution over. Currypuffs, Taiwanese Sweet Potatoes, jellys, you name it!

Marinated grilled fish. Very succulent though I have to work through its bones because I have a phobia for fish bone stuck in throat.

Even suburban Malaysian doesn't escape from over the top Christmas Decoration.

-24 December. A lonely Xmas Eve-

A lonely Xmas eve in lonely single room with lonely achy breaky heart with Nasi Kerabu and Imitation Shark fin soup. Luckily the faulty laptop speaker sprung into life by chance thus allowing me to enjoy the stirring hymn of Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols on BBC World Service. Oh how did my laptop's speaker become faulty? Go follow series of my status updates then you'll see. That's part of the tumultuous event that I had.

Meanwhile, Subway Sungai Dua, ready to be opened! USM Main Campus: Best campus for different varieties of food!

-25 December. Lonely Christmas Day, Gloomy Sunday-

USMers are indeed spoiled with choices: yet another food outlet, LK Western and Fruit Tea Cafe, originally based in Air Itam has opened a branch over Ivory Plaza! It's a great time for me to try it out for the first time too since it's Christmas and I want to treat myself well.

I ordered a set meal and it comes with a soup and a drink...

Quite a large portion actually and since part of their business is Fruit Tea too. I forgot what flavour did I ordered though.

I ordered Chicken Cordon Bleu set meal (RM19.50). Hmm...not bad but not extraordinary either. Oh well.

Last but not least (in which I almost forgot): dessert, a choice between icecream and longan jelly. I opted for the latter one.

So this is how I spent my Xmas weekend. How's your?

Epilogue: So many unexpected events and outcome as the year spirals towards the end. 2012 coming in five more days. What will my future hold?

Oh Shit It's December.

Prologue: I just don't like this feeling so just let me rant it out, will you? If you don't like depressing rant fest, click back or x on your browser and go tend your own beautiful life. No need to care about a lonely, depressed youth in self-doubt.

The title sums up the feeling that I am having now very aptly.

And what a succinct way to remind self of passing time is the monthly hike to the ATM machine and Bursary to pay for the rent.

I loathe the month of December. The end of a year forces one to reflect on what one had done and hadn't done for past one year, reviewing the checklist that you mentally made during the start of the year back in the ye olde day of January. You know what? I had been overestimating my own optimism and ability to the point of delusion and when things doesn't go the way I want it to be, I get thrown off balanced and sinks into a deeper rut than ever, struggling to pick myself up and readjust to the actual reality. And yet, I keep on subscribing to whatever that's left with my ailing ability and chipping optimism probably until the days it finally gone into a devouring void as I writhe on the floor in despair becoming something less of a human but more as a sentient mush and finally bite the dust. (figuratively speaking...and if you don't really get it, neither do I.)

My name is LZR. I have the demeanor of Nitroglycerin, the charisma of London Blitzkrieg's rubble, the patience of a single male honey badger in heat denied of mating and the motivation of a corpse. My life is as as stellar as a decaying Red Giant. (Pretty unbelievable how depression can trigger such original description of myself. I am like a Bohemian minus the sex and drug and music and fashion ergo not Bohemian.)

Just five more days to Xmas and 11 more days to wrapped up the year 2011. So allow me to extend an early holiday greeting of...

Merry FUCKING Xmas, Happy FUCKING New Year 2012 and Happy FUCKING holiday. Fuck.

Last but not least (and because I am feeling ill willed), Grammar Nazi in Action (ME) picking against hapless, inconsequential student body in USM over little thing called spelling.

See whether you can spot what's wrong with this poster. Hint: when you add the letter "s" on the misspelled part of a proper noun, it becomes a fairly scientific word (American spelling) describing the..."passing" of an human digestive process kind. Considering the amount of horrific gores and indecent exposure, pointless and malicious rumours and endless whinging and inane personal update all of us exposed ourselves to on Facebook and helping it to fan it by clicking the share button irresponsibly, I would say Facebook has indeed turn itself into "Feces"book. Not to mention the Timeline feature which will be rolled out to all Facebook users very soon, one could expect the annual chorus of "NEW FACEBOOK IS SHITE. I WANT MY OLD FACEBOOK BACK" whining and confusion. Shitstorm ahead. Oh did I left out the fact that MPP is inconsequential in a student's life? This just seem like an half-hearted effort of seeking students opinion while the chairperson himself want to DEFEND AUKU to the death, calling it a "blessing for student" not too long ago. Oh please. Meanwhile, I wonder how's the feedback anyway. Didn't see them over DK foyer while I walked past there today. They have class I suppose. *rolleyes*

Epilogue: Regular scheduled programme will continue as the purveyors of mundane contents feel happier and picked himself from the rut he is in. Meanwhile, please stare into the scene of a nighttime blizzard on your screen. *blip* It does feel kinda good ranting it out and at least it distracts me from thinking it. Meanwhile, still trying flip over what life has installed for me in order to look at the bright side of life. Looking forward for Friday more than ever because it represent some sort of progress not to mention Xmas eve itself but only because I want to listen to Festival of Nine Lessons and Carol broadcasted live from King's College Chapel, Cambridge on BBC Radio 4 at 3pm GMT (11pm GMT+8).

Last Time in November.

Prologue: Clearing up some of the November backlog...in the month of December. It's already more than a week in the month of December and a year is coming to a close. Unbelievable.

Just to pick up where we left off in the month of November...(Pic Spam ahead because I feel lazy to readjust pictures and what not while making picture collages.)

~Humanities Postgraduates Club Weekend Escape to Langkawi (11-15 Nov)~

~Day 1: 11 November, Friday~

Waking up at ungodly hours. Sky in stunning shade of blue and orange hue.

Going through seemingly endless paddy fields while catching a sneak peak of Alor Setar Skyline with Alor Setar Tower sticking out prominently.

All the way up north to Kuala Perlis and endure another one hour of ferry ride...

...and here we are at Langkawi: Permata Kedah. To be precised Pantai Chenang because that where our  place to be for the next three days.

Banana boats in which the Arab ladies despite their hijabs and such, partake enthusiastically. 

Walking along the shore while watching the wave breaks gently.

Palm tree, white sand and sunsets.

Glowing sunset.

~Day 2: 12 November, Saturday~

Getting down and dirty for mangrove replanting!

Explaining how to plant mangrove saplings to bunch of foreigners.

Au nuturel mud spa. I wonder did my feet got exfoliated.

Kampung life equals to cow strolling around...

...and leaving their pile of leaving around so watch out your step!

Walked about an hour or so under scorching sun just to see the most underwhelming "historical sites" in Langkawi: Beras Terbakar, basically a small patch of charred land. The road leading up to that patch of nothing is lined with touristy strip mall as well.

Bus finally came and went to another historical sites: Mahsuri's Tomb. While the unassuming tomb is the main attraction here, Mahsuri's Tomb is also surrounded by all sorts of random paraphernalia...

For example this well in which if you wash your face or drink it (they do sell filtered well water in bottle at the souvenir stall beside it) , you will have longevity and even romance in your life.

Replicas of Mahsuri's house and such.

Next: Tanjong Rhu Beach.

Here's an interesting sight: a sandbar that only appears during low tide, connecting the beach all the way to the rocky islet at the end! Formation due to crossing wave in the bay that brings the sand together into a sandbar.

Hermit Crab and I learned a new trick from my Indonesian roommate: blew hot air to the entrance and it will pop out!

...and then my camera died hence no pictures of the Barbecue dinner we had later.

~Day 3: 13 November (Sunday)~

Whirlwind tour around the best sites of Langkawi.

Langkawi Skybridge at Gunung Machinchang.

At another end looking at the peak cable car station and promontory point.

Coral blue sea looking towards Thailand.

Next: Kilim Geopark Jetty.

Mulut Buaya which is basically an cave under a rock which can connects to the other end. We didn't go through it though because it was high tide and as you can see from there, it will be hard to navigate through low hanging cave ceiling.

Sailboats taking shelter and floating fish platform.

Stingrays.

Then we have eagle feeding. Of course with my crappy point and shot camera, this is the best picture that I can get.

See the profile of a face at the rock face?

Kilim Geoforest Park on a majestic rock formation.

Going through more mangrove swamp area...

...and we reach Gua Kelawar or bat cave. Stalagtite.

Bat is important for pollination.

There this one part of the Gua Kelawar wooden platform trails that actually leads down to a small, wet cave that goes out to the other side and some part of it is actually inundated with water. While most of the group didn't go through that, a small group of those younger Arabs feel adventurous to go through despite my loud plea of staying in group. In the end, they reached jetty earlier than me (who decided to play safe) and I was ANGRY. Those bunch of foreigners!

Seafood lunch.

Last minute of shopping spree for tax-free chocolate over Haji Ismail Group Supermarket.

One hour of ferry ride and another four hours of boring and wet bus journey back later, Penang.

Ferrero Rocher by that Malay guy who I save him from missing out the ferry because that fecker don't know when should he go for prayers. In the end, it was ME who was almost missed out the ferry due to undeclared liquour (CHAN PAO!) and my teammate have to save me. I am, AGAIN,  furious.

So what did I get in the end: RM70+ worth of chocolate products.

Pepero Original, Korean's answer to Japanese's Pocky.

The packaging is better for Pepero compared to Pocky though. Originally I am looking for the oddly named "Nude" flavour which is basically hollowed cracker stick filled with Chocolate instead of covering it on the outside (hence nude) but Haji Ismail Group has none and it was a last minute shopping spree before we head to the jetty.

Kinder Bueno~~

Just look at it chocolatey, creamy goodness. It's orgasmic!

Toblerone, the triangular shaped chocolate, now available in mixed mini form! The black one is obviously the dark chocolate while the white one is white chocolate.

Last but not least, Hershey Kisses Milk Chocolate Flavour.

What did I get from Langkawi in the end? Sunburn (not fun when your skin started to peel off), mud in the toe nail (mangrove replanting was fun!), fatigue & fatigue (of being usher making sure no foreigner was missed out bus/delay schedule/left behind in Langkawi and some new sights that I didn't manage to see (especially the beaches.). Bittersweet I guess? It's fun when it's fun but it's no fun when one has to work.

~Updated post here onward!~

~Visitor from the Port of Fragrant Spice 24 Nov-28 Nov~

Went to Penang International Airport with Syahmi to pick a visitor coming all the way from Hong Kong to Penang (while getting a sneak peek of what the future may hold for PIA once the renovation completes in a year time or two).

The visitor I meant is actually more familiar that you might expect because he's Cheng Fai, who is now in HKU pursuing his MPhil (Lit.) but came back to Penang just for the Georgetown Literary Festival which will be held on 26-27 Nov on the coming weekend. Here he is enjoying his first plate of typical Malaysian supper fair of Maggi Goreng and Roti Bom almost as soon as he settles down for the night. And yeah, I am in a way his host for his weekend here in Penang but he has to endure sleeping on the floor though, partially compensated with the comfy comforter from Syahmi and cushion I stole from the common room.)

Went to Chancellor's Rock over Padang Minden to chat while enjoying the late night scenery of the light up Penang Bridge not to mention exploring obscure corner of USM such as the USM Guesthouse and Vice Chancellor's Residence.

25 Nov (Friday): went to this interesting seminar titled Towards the Erotics of Creativity: The Pleasure and Sensuality of Writing and Art. Despite it's seemingly eyecatching name, it's in fact quite academic.

Opening performance which leave me scratching my head. There's one point in which the lady in white just spin around and round until she falls to the ground while the man, Dr Aris recites an excerpts from Shakespeare work (not sure which one).

Erotics as defined in this talk (by quoting original Grecian notion as well a French) is all about unfulfilled yearning and our constant struggle to close the gap, to achieve completeness from our current incompleteness and such. While "eros" is commonly associated with the physical act of sexual and the pleasure that derives from it, the core concept of eroticism can be applied in arts and literature as well. At one point, Dr Ismer said that Arts and Literature is indeed useless devoid of purpose from the point of view of functionalist but an extension of human desire...but that's what make human more wholesome than just machinery to fulfill certain function in life and such.

Cheng Fai's visit back to Penang is certainly incomplete without any good food like Sakae Sushi in which we had Kakiage and trying to scrap the last of the pickled ginger.

2nd night with me and Syahmi in which he brought me to a rather large establishment over Sungai Ara named Pak Hussein Tomyam. It's basically like your usual tomyam stall right beside the street joozed up to restaurant standard.

On the 3rd night we had Seoul Garden BBQ Buffet over Gurney Plaza (before we went for late movie. Puss in Boots) in which I filled myself to brim while watching in horror how Cheng Fai continued to chow down more meats.  The downside of buffet strikes again.

And on the last day before we head back to the Airport, Secret Recipe lunch set but the chocolate mud cake as side.

Back to the airport we were...

....and good bye and safe trip back to Hong Kong from me...

...and Syahmi. What an interesting weekend it was.

And that's what you all missed on the month of November. Tune in next time while we head towards the month of December and the finale! *sprinkle confetti.*

Epilogue: It's December. It's already half way over December. There are a lot of thing that's not half way through yet though. Where's my sense of urgency? (Especially since my laptop is acting up again, the power current over my block still overloads and trip because of foreigners having EXCESSIVE home appliances, hurting my laptop in the process and the latest problem: Firefox gone from Program File inexplicably after one such crash. What exactly happened?