Shopping time on Sat.

Mummy was so nice. She bought a scarf, 2 belts and a fila slippers for me =)

I think she thought that I was sad over the break up, thus she was trying to cheer me up. Telling me, “oh you like that? I buy for you. Nvm ok I buy for you.” I so wanted to tell her, mummy I’m fine =) HAHAHS!

And and and, I went to give moon cakes to my godmother. Guess what? I got a pretty good ang bao =DDD

Well everyone says, when you lose you gain.

It’s kinda true though.

No one mentioned anything about him in the house anymore. Nobody asked anything too.

For all those who cared. I will move on strongly.

What’s the big deal yea?

The other day, someone told me. Actually, you are funny, cheerful, positive, smart etc etc etc (my skin quite thin, so I won’t say the rest) AND quite pretty too. So you deserve a good man =))

HAHAHHAHS ok I think the person regretted saying that I’m quite pretty.

Well he actually persuaded me into believing all that he said.

We both ended up counting the number of guys that are kinda interested in me now.

It was so funny. But too bad, we cancelled all of them away from my list.

Perhaps it’s really hard to find one that I like =)

Tomorrow is edgar’s lesson again! Time really flies past so quickly.

Ben lee said, people who buy LV, Ferrari lar. ARE ALL SHOW OFF! If they tell you they buy for the design, engine this and that. Pui in their face. ALL RUBBISH! They just want to show off.

If he’s my classmate, we could have been bloody good buddies. HILARIOUS.


p.s. the crazy man is still haunting me wahahahhaha! We guess someone must had casted black magic on him to make him so obsessed over me.

I’m so happy today =) because I went for edgar’s lesson.
I was shocked when I woke up to realize it’s 5pm already!!! FUCK!!!
Almost late for his lesson.

Andy’s been soo irritating to change tmr’s lesson to this morning.. 9am pls!!! WAT LAO EH.
Make me sooo freaking tired. Physically and mentally.
But because of him, I accidentally met someone! Heh heh =)

So now that someone says he will send me home every Thursday night because edgar’s lesson always ends so late.

GREAT!!! FINALLY! Now I don’t need to brisk walk to the lift and scare myself every time when there’s movement behind me. I can’t disclose his identity because we didn’t want to cause unnecessary misunderstandings. So glad after so many years, we are still friends who can talk about so many things.

Now every Thursday night someone will have to hear me blabber nonsense liao. And he would give me advises and opinions. He gave me some glimpse of hope =) that I will move on fine and find a one that truly suits me.

So now I’m here, blogging not because I had a lot on my mind. But because I just had my dinner!!!

Alrights maybe I do have a little something on my mind. But it’s fading away so fast. Day by day, it’s getting lesser. So scary when I come to think of it. It just slips out of my mind and I’m getting used to it. I can successfully stop myself from thinking and look forward.

Well it’s all thanks to everyone. My dear friends =DD Especially Su Qin Qin, and uncle chris. Anyways sq ar uncle chris is really a good friend leh. I think he just don’t understand you =) so just ignore him. heh. He gives me his opinions and advises me well.

OMG. It’s all about me nowadays. But from today onwards, it won’t be that case =)
Yes I’ve matured and I’m glad I did!!!

I keep hearing this from everyone. “The next one will be better =)) So when one comes along, don’t miss it.” Well it’s true enough!!!! I haven’t found my rich husband leh.

I’m feeling a little tired now. Will sleep soon.
Goodnight earth, I love you =)

Yesterday, I went back to Sentosa to meet a friend who cares. While I was waiting for him, I sat at the entrance, looking at happy families going home, happy couples holding hands laughing and smiling, happy bunch of friends.

It hit me that perhaps, I did once love the service industry. And now, I did miss a little of that.

I had no choice but to go to back to the little island because of chris’s work. A place, which I now would want to avoid. While I was in the express, memories came flooding back. I used to take the express with him, with my good buddies, every time it would be a happy journey. The express will be filled with our voices.

Now, I’m all alone in it. It feels sad.

When the train passed by the merlion. It got worse. I remembered how we ran to work under the rain in the morning, how we helped each other wiped off the raindrops. How he held my hands during lunch. How how how how… many things came flooding back to my mind.

I tried to wipe them off. Really.

How later when I finally saw chris. How I was even reminded of more things. He told me how he persuaded him to come after me. How this and that.

How chris said, it’s sad to see us ended up like this.

How chris said, you should follow what your heart says.

I will admit. He’s right. I can lie to the whole world. But I can never get pass my own self.

I know I still have strong feelings for him. How now at this sec I miss him. Miss us….

How the scene and words lingers sooo clearly in my mind. How he got himself drunk, the words he said, the messages he sent when he was drunk. That night, my heart aches so clearly. My heart thumping so fast. Just like the 1st time when he held my hands.

I have been thinking a lot. I thought I carried some hopes. I though perhaps. Maybe the wind wouldn’t come afterall.

But it finally came to me today. Took away everything.

No more faith, hope, trust, love. No more.

Just a bitter feeling left behind.

I should do some reminiscences?

And then, they are nothing but really, just beautiful memories for me. No more feelings. No more trying. No more running.

I still remember the 1st day I met him. Still remember how fate brought the two of us closely together. How everything worked out perfectly for us. How our work schedule miraculously matched. How we travelled home together. How it’s just always the two of us. Because amazingly, none of our colleagues went home taking the same line as us. How those who lived near us were never the same shift as ours. How the 1st day I met him, there’s no in charge. How because of that, we were given ample time to chat with each other. How everytime we quarreled. There’s always no in charge. That gives him sufficient time to cheer me up. How fate really works between the two of us…

The way we clicked, the way we can talk about anything under the sun. How happy we were. How our laughters filled each other’s life. How the 1st time he asked me out. When it just so happens that our other colleagues were working. That led us to our 1st happy date which only belonged to the two of us. Subsequently, he started to ask me out more.

How dumb I was. To not realize he was actually attracted to me.
When that day, he smsed to confessed his feelings for me. How I avoided it by saying, oh what a good morning with such a funny sms from you =)

How he continued and tried. To win me over. How everyone misunderstood. Thinking we were actually together. When we were actually not. How I rejected him at 1st. How he kaysiao and took my hands while we were watching the movie. How tight he held my hand that no matter how I couldn’t struggle off.

How I forced him to ask me to be his gf at the amk bus stop because he’s just so shy. How we smiled when he did it.

How he never fails to brighten up my intern days. How he surprises me at work. Buying food, drinks what so ever. Chocolates were essentials during those days. How he helped me out at work. How he smiled and told me it’s ok when I met with any difficulties at that time.

How he helped me put on my working shoes for me. How he held me tightly when I’m throwing tantrums. How he ran after me when I walked away from him.
How the 1st time, he broke my heart.

“Disappointment transcends the hurt, yet beneath all the pain, lies the love.”

How we continued to fight over small harmless incidents.

Needless did we know. These small harmless incidents, will lead to a crack in our r/s.

How he went to army. When I tear at night when he told me how tough his training was. The problems he was facing.

I knew I was the only one he can find solace in. I knew I had to support him. I started to keep stuff from him. To not make him worry. To always listen to what he has to say. To feel dishearten every single time he’s confined. To console him every single time, when I needed comfort myself.

How the stress in army changed the patient man I used to love. How he became hot tempered. How I tried to talk nicely to him.

Just as when I thought things were getting better

He started to not want to talk about us. To always keep quiet or apologized whenever we talked about our issues.

How finally one day, he told me what my bad points were. To how he changed me to a better person. How he guided me. I was thankful.

Things were suppose to be alright…. But until… he was posted to OCS.

How the lack of time he had, further damage our r/s. How he will forced himself to meet me no matter how tired he feel. How I didn’t understand his good intentions. Which led to more arguments.

Perhaps we two just don’t understand each other. How I tried to convince him to let me go. How I tried to run away from him. But… At the end of the day, we will always be back in each other’s arms…. Because we both still clearly know we love each other.

How I accompanied him through his tough army days for about a yr already.
When it’s finally over. When he’s finally free. Yet I cant… Be there to share his joy anymore. How now.. We have to walk separate ways. How I couldn’t forget the bits and pieces. How tired I feel.

Then I finally understood. We are just not meant to be. A beautiful beginning… With a peaceful ending.

I’m feeling calm now.

Perhaps our love is no longer there. Perhaps you are just used to me being by your side.

Now I finally let go, free of the pain… but my heart feels empty. My hands feel empty.

But I know.. Everything will be alright. Because we will leave this journey taking the blessings of the other.

We both are strong headed people. So no matter what. We will be fine.

The sun will shine after the rain. It’s windy now… Tomorrow it will rain. The day after, everything will be fine. =))

Goodbye, my dear, baby, dearest, darling, silly, breadman, pawpaw, prata….. and the list goes on and on… then, it will come to a full stop.

That’s where I will move on.

The best days of my life during these two years. I would have to say… It’s the day I met you. It’s the day we exchanged smiles. It’s the day where we decided to lock our hands tightly together.

Everything happens for a reason. I’m really glad you are a happy chapter in my life =) You taught me priceless lessons. You were the one who helped me to become a better person. The lessons you gave, will be kept dearly in my heart. They will not be forgotten.


Things posted here is to let those who cares, to understand. Kindly leave your comments to yourself. We had moved on so there’s no reason to talk about it anymore.





*I don't know if you are still frequently my blog? Just to tell you. The password is finally changed. The initial one was the date that we got together =)) did you decipher it? Well doesn't matter anymore*

ARGH SO PISSED!!!!


I couldnt complete my online shopping please. what the hell is wrong with my computer? I tried using the laptop. NO BETTER. Tried my touch too...


Bloody hell so pissed.

Wasted my time.


Whatevers.




Anyways i'm still suffering from insomnia!!! MY GOD



Sometimes I really wonder whether if my decision is right. Well time will tell.




If that's the ending, so be it then....






DUMB ASS.





Just re-dyed my hair colour =)) NO LONGER AH LIAN.

ARGHHHHHHHHH he's just getting on my nerves....


Bloody hell... ok flood my msn more. jus keep flooding and talking and explaining. den aft that. jus back off.


haix. wth!!!


nvm then....


anyways i'm sooo confused with sooo many things on my mind. i need to just relax.


not feeling well =X



gg over to edgar's lessons makes me happy =D i love him ^ ^

ok well. i didnt know i have such an influence over a person. he's making himself go crazy. making me go crazy too!!!


i tink i better becareful frm now onwards. scarli he sneak up on me and attack me!!!


asking me "why why why!!!! why treat me like tat..."


FUCK U. u just irritates me.


i dun owe u any explanation for my life!


u are not even my bf...


i love my own life without u in it. soooo stop pestering me.



ARGHH!!!!!



flooding my inbox, msn and fb. really irritating.


stop acting sooo pathetic in ur fb comments. jus sooo irritating makes me look like a bloody bitch. well well.... so be it. i simple detest man who just pesters and pesters me. get ur own life! i need my own space too.



PEACE PEACE....


i still love my fatties, shorties and shallow frends =DD they are still the best. WAHAHAHAHHAH



i wanna play badminton!!!!!




but b4 tat... going out for lunch 1st =)) den attending edgar's class!!!!! happy girl =DD